Break Up & Divorce

Advice on going through this stage post break up?

so I’m 4 months post a 4 year relationship ending. I’ve been doing therapy. I’ve been working out. I’ve reconnected with amazing friends that have help me so much along the way I’m sitting with myself and reflecting on where I fell short in my relationship. To give some background, my ex partner used to break up with me when things went bad, didn’t have to be big or small but if he was fed up or tired or anything he was gone. He started doing that in the beginning I made the mistake of begging and saying I would change whatever he wanted for it to work. Well flash four years later and I changed so much that there was nothing left to change besides him so he left me. He broke up with me in one of my darkest moments. In me processing this, I realize how much of a shitty partner he was and how much effort I put in day and day out. Even though I know he wasn’t a good partner and that I definitely deserve better sometimes I find myself shifting the blame to myself like I’ll remember something to be like well. I did do that. I was jealous. I was insecure. I was controlling at times. Maybe I did drive him to this or maybe I did cause this. Any advice on This? Some days I feel empowered and feel like he lost out another days. I’m like maybe he didn’t lose out on anything.

Advice on going through this stage post break up?
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