My boyfriend (23M) wanted to break up with me (19F). Is this a cop-out or is this a reasonable reason to break up with someone?

[LittlePomegranate123]

He said he thought about breaking up with me because I've screamed at him twice. Let me explain why these incidents have happened: he tickled me a lot.

I told him not to. He did it until I got upset. I explained at him I didn't like it, he accepted it and hugged me. He did it once again later that afternoon. I lost it. I screamed at him something along the lines of "FOR FUCK'S SAKE, IF I TELL YOU NO, IT MEANS NO". This has happened twice in our relationship. He states I "scolded him", which tells me he thinks I've been dominant (he hates that).

I felt terrible the whole day, and when I feel guilty I tend to dismiss my feelings. So every time I said something and he didn't hear or he asked about some sensitive thing I'd go 'Drop it. Let's keep talking about what you were talking...' or 'Forget it. It's just me being silly'.. (Eg: He playfully screamed "Shut up" when I was joking. That nearly made me tear up, so I said "Okay". He asked me if it was fine or I just didn't want to talk about it, and I said it was fine because I didn't want to get in another argument about how he can't tease me anymore (I've told him to not play with me so roughly in the past, and he's answered he felt like it would get boring if we can't joke like that. I thought it was just my sensitive self being unreasonable, so I brushed it off and accepted not to take it so seriously). He said he felt as though I was tired of him. Later on, talking, he said he felt tired.

At night, he said he thought about to breaking up with me because I screamed at him. He said he didn't do it because it was silly and "partly because he still wants me", but if I did it again, he'd break up with me. Is this even reasonable? He did tickle me knowing it bothers me, and I asked him to stop only for him to do it again. This strikes me as really strange.

[lightbulb27]

yes and no.

you are going to have to deal with stuff from him because he's mischevious like that, that's whom he is right now until he learns otherwise. so if you don't like it and yelling and he can't handle it, then might as well find someone whom is more better fit. If you can learn to live with him screwing around and deal with it, then ok.

there's nothing wrong with getting mad and yelling. patience is better, but we all have our limits and are human.

[LittlePomegranate123]

I understand he's mischievous like that, and I enjoy it most of the time. He's called me some... questionable pet names, and I laugh it off mostly. We joke about him having other women, he jokes about me getting jealous (I rarely do) and we laugh it off. He's humor is kind of belittling sometimes and, although I don't like it when he gets like that, I try to stand it for a while. Then I tell him to give me affection to balance shit out. I have my mechanisms to cope with it, to put it shortly.
I agree with him in the stance of yelling not being okay (I've done it twice in this relationship. It's kind of difficult to get me to that level), but I can't seem to understand why he thinks it's better to break up with me for yelling at him when he knew he was messing with my limits.
I was thinking about having some safe word, but then he told me he wanted to break up.
When you said yes and no, what were you answering? Do you think his train of thought was reasonable? If you could be so gentle, could you explain to me why this makes sense to you?
I'd like to change my way to see this problem. Mine is getting me frustrated.

[lightbulb27]

yes, I will answer when I have more time tomorrow...

[lightbulb27]

yes- it's a good reason to breakup because he is a poorly trained child and by breaking up shows he is not willing to face his own issues and make changes. he is mischevios but worse, he shows he hasn't been disciplined and doesn't know how to handle correction. also doesn't know how to make aments, thus lots of training.
no - because relationshiops require adjustment and gotta learn sometime.

If you like to change your way then you've got a good person to do that with as he is going to continually try your patience. as life goes along and kids show up, it will be harder. so this will challenge you to react less, work on yourself and grow.

it's ok to yell... better to redirect him what to do. determine why he does this and work to better how he plays and engages. maybe he's no good at intimacy...

gonna take some work...
what people do today so much... is run into problem... and give up. have to work through problems. that said, this is biggie with deep roots, time to do some soul searching. "love" aligns people like this... exposes deep issues, so they can be resolved.

[spartan55]

I'll never understand stupid play fighting and tickling beyond about... elementary school? Your boyfriend is a moron and very immature. Which is fine if that's what you want, but he also attempts to gaslight you in taking the blame for him breaking up (potentially). He is an absolute turd, dump him.

[rosemilk]

i get where you're coming from, but there are betters ways to communicate something you don't like that doesn't involve screaming like that. it can also come off as immature

[DishLady]

Yeah, screeching banshee type is considered intolerably unappealing. If you're planning to keep a guy don't yell and carry on.

[54newstar]

So I told my girlfriend now my x to stop yelling at me and ah continued and even got physicaly abusive. It got worse but the first time she did it and I was done. It depends on the past of the person he might have just one memory that's really bad.

[LittlePomegranate123]

Hm, he did have a very close and very dominant relative whom he hated. Do you think that dealing with this particular kind of interactions (Like having a safe word for him to stop it when I'm reaching my limit) might solve the problem altogether, or do you think that there may be a deeper problem?

[Anonymous]

If he wants to break up, doesn’t matter the reason perhaps it is for the best.

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t want to know the circumstances or whatever, if he feels compelled to break up then it is over I guess. I think you are dodging a bullet with this. I don't know.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he was just confused because he can't figure out if you're 19 or 30.