A question to the guys: If you took your ex for granted, how would you feel after losing her?

[Anonymous]

A question to the guys: If you took your ex for granted, how would you feel after losing her?

Will you regret it? will you move on and forget? Will you do anything about that? What would go through your mind?

Thanks! :)

Updates

+1 y

How can a guy who took a girl for granted and treated her not like she deserved feel guilty after losing her? It doesn't make sense to me, because if you love someone so much that you couldn't live without, why not treat them with love and respect from the very beginning?


Do you have an answer to this question?

[Phoenix1991]

if I took my ex for granted ( Like I have done in the past.) There is several emotions you would feel after realizing you made the biggest mistake in your life.

Anger, Guilty, Regret, sorrow, and Misplaced emotions.

Anger- More angry at myself for not seeing the bigger picture.

Guilty = Guilty for not treating her right and letting her slip through your fingers.

Regret- Same as guilt and anger.

Sorrow- Missing her like crazy, always wishing do things differently if you had a second chance.

Misplaced emotions- Normally people who break up or lose someone try to replace their pain and sadness with new love of a new relationship. It may work for some, but majority of those people are only fooling themselves into believing one person can replace another. Each person is different from the next, that's like trying to replace superman with Brad pitt, it doesn't work that way.

Normally I would try to move on and forget if all hope is lost, but I'm only fooling myself thinking I can do that. I have tried that tactic numerous of times, it doesn't work necessarily effectively as one may hope it does, it just gives you the illusion that you are moving on in the right direction, but your mind is always lost in the memories of the past.

[Asker]

Great answer! But I have another question. If you care, you wouldn't take me for granted, and if you don't care, you wouldn't feel unhappy/sad/guilty after you leave? Understand my point? Do you have an answer?

[Phoenix1991]

If you do care you wouldn't take the person for granted and always tell them things like "they can do better then me" or "your not giving yourself enough credit" etc. Things like that shows appreciation and respect for that person.

[Asker]

You missed my point. I mean if a guy really cares and loves a girl, why would he take her for granted? and if he didn't love her, why would he feel sad after losing her? It doesn't make sense to me haha

[Kain6th]

I'll use an analogy sally. Take a car you own for example. You get it, it's brand new, totally awesome. But sooner or later you take it for granted as you take it to work everyday. So one day the car just says 'I give up' and breaks down. Now the guy is forced to take public transportation. He can't show it off to people and say 'Hey look at my awesome car" anyomore. He begins to feel horrible because he misses the few good times he had with the car.

[Kain6th]

Maybe just maybe this is how your ex see's you. He thinks 'Wow I really miss those days when I could show her off to everyone and say how awesome I got a hot gf!'

[Asker]

I'm not a car and I didn't break down :D find another analogy ;)

[Kain6th]

You're a car to him :-P

[Phoenix1991]

then simply he didn't truly appreciate her completely from the beginning.Though,If you love her but over time your not always saying she can do better or whatever, some times we do take things for granted because we get too comfortable in the relationship. Its exactly What kain6th said, very good analogy btw!

[Kain6th]

And you did quit so :-P my analogy stands

[Asker]

Then, the car broke down because he was a bad driver. So, he regrets treating the car badly? :D

[Kain6th]

No, well... maybe a little, but he's most likely only seeing the very beginning when things were great.

[Phoenix1991]

uhh yeah kain, sorry I don't normally abandon people, but your on your own here. FYI: Never compare women to anything,...and I mean anything. God speed bro!

[Kain6th]

link You should watch this movie sally. I know you aren't a big movie goer, but check it out!

[Asker]

OK! So, that makes him a selfish person, because he only misses the great image he had with her. It's only about him, huh?

[Kain6th]

Yup ONLY about him! It's him that he's thinking about when he's calling you.

[Asker]

@Phoenix: Yeah! you gotta be careful with women! :D :D

@Kain: I've just watched the trailer. It's so HOT! I love watching romance movies :))

[Kain6th]

Uhh lol it's not your typical romance movie. You will probably cry at the end of it haha

[Asker]

I usually cry watching romance movies :)

[Kain6th]

Let's just say it doesn't end well lol

[Asker]

:( =D

[Kain6th]

But yeah it's really really good though

[taster]

Well sure would regret...good matches/mates do not grow on trees..so letting one of them get away by my own neglect or stupidity would be extremely aggravating...that is one thing about a lot of the younger people on GAG that I find bemusing...sometimes they say that they would dump someone for something that is trivial...They will find later in life that some of the stuff they thought was important...was not...

[Asker]

Great answer! But let me ask you this because it doesn't make sense to me. It's either you love or you don't love. If you loved a girl, why would you take her for granted, and if you didn't love her, why would you feel sad after losing her? Understand my point?

[taster]

Well...me personally ...I would not take my mate for granted at the start...my mother's wedding advice to me was "Don't take each other for granted" well...we do tho...a good marriage probably has somethng like about a 5-year honeymoon...the honeymoon seems to wear off by year 7...(the dreaded 7-year itch) it is more difficult to not take each other for granted after 10 years...

[Asker]

That's lovely :) but back to my question. Why would a guy do that?

[taster]

I cannot explain all guys any more than you can explain all females.. Sometimes this could be explained by a player...A player might want to have his cake and eat it too...steady relationship but play on the side...or he might want to party a lot instead of spend time with a female who he assumes will be around forever...

[Asker]

He assumed I'll be around forever no matter how lame he treats me. So true :)

[stevo]

It would be the most absolute worst feeling I've ever felt. I wouldn't want to see her, or even contact her because it would all be on my head. In this day and age, no one should be taken for granted. God only knows how long we'll have someone in our lives.

[Asker]

:)

[Asker]

If you care, you wouldn't take me for granted, and if you don't care, you wouldn't feel unhappy/sad/guilty after you leave? Understand my point? Do you have an answer? :)

[stevo]

I was just stating that I WOULD feel horrible if I did take someone for granted that I did feel something for. And like what you said, if I didn't care, I wouldn't feel any of those things. But it would depend on how the person treated me if the shoe was on the other foot-most likely, I wouldn't care about that person as a whole because of what they did to me. Why should I? I mean, really?

[Asker]

I just don't understand why would a guy feel sad/unhappy/guilty after losing a girl because of HIS lame attitude and treatment? doesn't make sense at all.

[stevo]

Because maybe he feels guilty? Or is so damned desperate he attempts to play the sympathy card in some lame-ass attempt to get you back? He's SO not worth it. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

[Asker]

Haha I'm not asking to ignore him or not. I sure am and will :) I just don't get it. It's maybe because I don't take loved ones for granted, so I can't really understand how their brain works.

[stevo]

Who knows? It's a tangled web. One big mess. Just continue to do what you're doing with him. If he's smart, he'll leave you alone. :)

[Asker]

Haha :)

[Anonymous]

Let me turn this question around... I was taken for granted, I was used, yet I was still dumped.. How would you feel? She misses me now for sure, I can just tell from when I see her out with her replacement of me.

[Asker]

She must be feeling awful now.

[Opinion Owner]

See I don't know. I've posted stuff about this here before and people seem to agree. She "loved" me.. wanted me forever.. all that. Dumped me, never looked back.. I hadn't seen her since June and now she's showing up everywhere with her new guy. Ironically they show up where they KNOW I am. So maybe she does miss me, there is no way he does any of the little stuff I did for her, let alone the big things.

[Asker]

I don't feel like she regrets anything.

[Opinion Owner]

I deserve better anyways. This guy is just a rebound, plus he's like 8 years older than her and she is extremely immature. No way that he's gonna put up with that or the dysfunctional family she comes from. If it works, godbless them.

[Asker]

You deserve better, that's for sure.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you. Someone will appreciate me someday.

[Opinion Owner]

A down vote? People suck.

[Asker]

I thumbed you up! :)

[Opinion Owner]

I know you did. I hate insensitive people. Their time will come to hurt.

[Asker]

Don't bother :) So, do you have an answer to my update? I don't really understand why peope start to feel the loss after losing? ha ha why not be a good man/woman from the very beginning?

[Opinion Owner]

You answered it yourself when you said my ex doesn't regret leaving me. All I did was love her, all I did was care and be the best possible boyfriend I could be to her. She dumped me and replaced me in no time and I was pining over her for months on end with no closure. Makes me feel like I was never loved, never appreciated, and basically worthless and forgotten.

[Kain6th]

I would feel like a big dipsh*t and if I didn't kill myself over losing you, I would probably not want to show my face in public

[Asker]

Oh, why would you feel so guilty about it? If you really loved a girl, you wouldn't have taken her for granted to begin with.

[Kain6th]

Cause just the fact I lost the greatest girl ever would make me feel like a loser.

[Asker]

So why lose her in the first place?

[Kain6th]

Cause I don't know I'm an idiot? lol, this personality does not mesh with me well, I could not hope to fathom it's wonky brain.

[Kain6th]

Cause he never loved you. simple. You were his play thing and he felt like he could have his cake and eat it too.

[Asker]

Very good! So, why care after losing? doesn't make sense to me.

[Kain6th]

It's an ego thing. he might have been dumped by another girl or something and thinks coming back to you will make him feel wanted again, if you give in to him at all he'll get what he wants. But you're ignoring him so he won't get that.

[Asker]

I'll look for it online! =)

[7gnat]

Been there done that and regretted it. I self-destructed for a few years after I threw her out of my house.

[Asker]

Please elaborate.

[7gnat]

In a way I never will forgive myself. I felt like dying after I realized what I did. She was a great girl and she actually still loves me but she is married with kids now and will stay for the kids and I would never want to be a home wrecker. I can tell you about how I self-destructed on chat if you want but I am not going to let anyone know some of my deepest darkest secrets except for my closest friends like you.

[Asker]

Thank you, dear :)

[7gnat]

Cause people are not so great. most people do not truly care about others feelings

[Asker]

So, why care after you lose?

[7gnat]

Because he clearly cannot find anyone as good as you and regrets losing you

[Asker]

I know what you mean, but to me it's either you care or you don't. If you care, you wouldn't take me for granted, and if you don't care, you wouldn't feel unhappy/sad/guilty after you leave? Understand my point?

[Kain6th]

So he broke it up then?

[7gnat]

absolutely. I feel the same way. If you were silly enough to take him back then he would mistreat you again.

[Asker]

I broke up with him, but his hurtful attitude forced me to leave. Now, he feels sad ha ha I will never get back with him :)

[Kain6th]

He just didn't appreciate what he had

[7gnat]

I would beat you with a banana over the head if you ever gave that jerk another chance (I know you would never take him back cause you are a smart girl)

[Asker]

Exactly :)

[stevo]

You were better off leaving. Relationships such as that are very unhealthy and damaging. In cases like that, you're left with very little choice other than to leave. But what an ass he must be. I don't get why some people feel the need to treat others like they are nothing.

[Asker]

With a banana?! you're brutal! :D

[7gnat]

very brutal-I am a bad bad man!

[Asker]

HeeHee :)