How do you describe a relationship where everytime the girl can’t get her way she wants to breakup?

[Anonymous]

Like when I was going through this it destroyed my sense of trust I just felt like it would always just happen again just a matter of when. The final breakup came on me standing up to her abuse which is absolutely wild to say but had I just accept her calling me names and making fun of me in the car on the way to the grocery store everything would have been perfectly fine and the relationship wouldn’t have ended. This was about a 2 year relationship and with how she acted I get bothered by the fact she decided to say yes. When I think through everything I went through I would have been better off single and not experiencing a relationship. Throughout the relationship I was often patient with her two weeks in she hit me when she was losing at a game and she had a crying breakdown not knowing what came over her in that moment I was shocked and was ready to go home but she begged me to stay but now seeing it as a small part of a larger picture and darker it was all manipulation cause the abuse not only continued but got worse. She would hit me more times cause me horrible names like bitch and nuisance. A dog we got together she would also call him nuisance and beat on him. Prior to this relationship I had never dated a lot of this is due to my autism but now I’m simply afraid like I went on dating apps just the other night and felt a deep sense of fear and anxiety that didn’t use to be.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that sounds like an insanely messed up relationship, dude. It's not normal or healthy at all for your girlfriend to be constantly threatening to break up with you just because she doesn't get her way. That's some serious manipulative behavior right there.

The fact that she was physically abusing you and your dog, and calling you horrible names is straight-up abuse. No one should ever have to deal with that, especially in a relationship. The fact that she was able to talk you into staying after those incidents is really troubling - it sounds like she was using guilt and fear to keep you around.

I can totally understand why this whole experience has left you feeling so distrustful and afraid of dating again. Going through that kind of toxic, abusive relationship can really mess with your sense of trust and confidence. It's not your fault at all.

The best thing you can do is focus on healing and taking the time you need to feel safe and secure again. Don't rush into anything you're not ready for. When you do decide to date again, be really careful and trust your gut. Anyone who tries to manipulate or abuse you like that is not worth your time.

You deserve so much better than how she treated you. I know it's hard, but try not to let this one bad relationship ruin your outlook on all relationships. There are good people out there who will treat you with respect and kindness. Wishing you all the best, man. Hang in there.

[Asker]

Why was it a massive smear campaign in the end somehow with everything I highlighted above all the physical and verbal abuse I was subjected to she convinced her family, friends our mutual friends that she was the victim and everyone turned against me. So not only was I going through what I was everyone now hated me too

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that's just so messed up. The fact that she managed to turn everyone against you, even after all the abuse you went through, is completely unfair and manipulative.

It's like she was playing the victim the whole time, when in reality you were the one suffering at her hands. The physical and verbal abuse you described - the name-calling, the hitting, the overall mistreatment - that's not something a victim would do. But somehow she flipped the script and made you out to be the bad guy.

It's such a classic tactic that abusers use - they gaslight and lie their way out of accountability. And then they get all their friends and family to back them up, isolating the real victim even further.

That has to feel so betraying and lonely on top of everything else you went through in that relationship. Not only did you have to deal with her abuse, but now everyone in your life has turned against you too. That's just a whole other level of messed up.

I'm really sorry you had to experience that, man. You didn't deserve any of it - the abuse, the manipulation, or the smear campaign. That girl is seriously twisted to put you through all that and then somehow make herself the victim.

But you need to know that you're not the bad guy here. You were strong enough to stand up to her abuse, and that's what really matters. Even if no one else sees it that way, you know your own truth.

Try not to let her poison all your relationships and friendships. The people who really care about you will come around and see what she did. And you'll find new, healthier connections too. Just focus on healing and rebuilding your confidence. You've got this.

[Anonymous]

Dysfunctional. You should dump her.

[Asker]

She broke up with me so after the bullying in the car I politely pulled over so she could safely get out and asked her to exit. Prior to this I was begging and pleading for her to stop which she refused which led to me having her exit the car. She walked home calling her mom saying she can’t be with a man who kicks her out of their car completely ignoring the fact she was being abusive

[Opinion Owner]

She did you a favor by breaking up.

[Asker]

So why is literally everyone taking her side why was it a massive smear campaign against me at the end of the relationship

[Opinion Owner]

I have no idea, unless there are relevant details you haven't shared here.

[Asker]

They knew she was abusing me and didn’t seem to care. There was this narrative being formed that I was causing her to beat on me and call me horrible names. She came into the relationship with childhood trauma that she disclosed to me. I treated this girl great even in all the abuse I never called her a foul name and I never hit her back I also promise to never give up on her and that she wasn’t defined by her struggles due to childhood trauma. I told her I would be by her side and when the first instance of abuse happen which was 2 weeks in I was shocked but also committed to getting her mental health treatment which initially she was on board with but then the abuse continued in the relationship and I still stayed strong even though I had family members who wanted me to breakup because they could see I was depressed and not seeming like myself. I would find various places for her to get treatment but she would never do it saying things like she’s persevent or didn’t have time meanwhile me and our dog are still physically being hit. The last part is she was all smiles outside of the apartment so she had perfected this double personality the side other people seen and what I seen when we were home

[In_Trance]

it's best described as a waste of time

[Abbycado]

A bad one.