Will being dumped for whatever reason always haunt the dumpee? Will they always go back and think what they could have done to stop things from ending? Will they always live in regret and wish they could have done better? Been a better person? 😢
I made one little mistake and I just wonder if I just had kept my mouth shut would will still be together now?
I know I need to let go and I have for the most part. But certain songs bring me back to him and then I get to thinking what if.
Will it always haunt the dumpee for the dumper's decision?
No, it won't always haunt you. You'll heal someday and when you look back, you'll be thinking how you're glad that relationship is over as you'll be much happier without him but right now you're having these thoughts because you just haven't moved on yet and you won't if you keep being so hard on yourself.
Okay... So, you made a mistake and that could have lead to breakup but maybe it wasn't only the reason why he broke up. If someone doesn't want to be with you, they'll find 10 different reasons to breakup. So, it's not fair that you'll keep living in guilt wondering what you could have done to make him stay.
I think the only way you'll heal is to forgive yourself for whatever you did that you regret. Accept that sometimes things just doesn't work out and that there's someone great out there for you.. but you can't find that person if you're still replaying what happened between you and your ex and what you could have done to save that relationship.
Thank you for your kind words. I thought I was over all this, but I guess I'm not. I will try my best to stop giving myself such a hard time and stop replaying what happened between us and what I could have done to save the relationship.
You're most welcome, lovely. It takes time but you'll get there. Also, distraction will help too. So, why not join any classes you always wanted to or do things you like to do- be it reading novels, taking a little trip somewhere, watching movies. Just keep yourself busy so you won't have time to think about the past. It helped me move on sooner. Take care.
we know only one version of our life, so spending time overthinking "what if..." doesn't make any sense, you would never know...
but you can reflect, you can point out what definitely was a mistake (because, for example, it was communicated to you as such), you can find things you could do better or differently...
if there is learning process involved, not much of guilt or negative feelings stay...
Although it is sometimes SAD to be the Dumpor' depending on the circumstances.
My wife dumped me for another man, and that, however, did not work out for her. Ten years later she contacts me periodically, and I respond without malice or anger, as my life has moved on in a very positive way. That said, the 'dumpor' did not come out well in the end.
In my late 20's I had a WONDERFUL woman companion, that I met in Parents Without Partners, but SAD TO SAY she had a terrible problem with alcohol, and I could not continue with her, and that was gut wrenching. She called me years later from another state, and was in an Alcohol Program after a terrible car accident - DUI - almost killing her daughter... Tragic, tragic.
No. Definitely not. It will for a while. It'll seem like it'll haunt you forever. I promise, that it will not always haunt someone. If it does, that would be extrmely unhealthy. It does SEEM like it's going to haunt a person forever... but it won't.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I can relate. I know it seems like something that will haunt you forever. It won't. I promise. You'll feel differently about this one day. (sooner than you think).
You keep doing whatever you need to do, to get through each shitty day. One day, you'll be surprised to realize... you haven't thought about him once the whole day. (probably you're busy with life). But that's your first sign-post. That's how you know you're getting better. I'm not saying that day will be this week. But it will be sooner than you think. And it will arrive unexpectedly. For now, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. And if you feel like chatting, feel free to send me a message anytime (but only if you feel like it. No pressure).
Hey, sweet soul! 🌟 Heartbreaks are tough, and it's natural to replay things in your head. It's like a melancholy mixtape stuck on repeat! 🎶 But remember, you're not defined by someone else's choice. Life is about growing through these moments, learning, and loving yourself fiercely. And who knows? That one mistake might not have been a deal-breaker. Every song reminds you of him because music holds memories, but it’s also your soundtrack to healing. Turn the volume up on self-love and move forward like the rockstar you are! 💖
W one day when you truly understand every thing happens for the best to protect you if you learn from it and that's when everything you ever wanted you will get but only when you understand it and are greatful
Never let that "what if" grow and creep into your mind, realistically it will happen you might have a thought pop up and it leads you down a little endless loop for lack of closure but it's never worth it, they dumped you, it's never usually your fault, it can be a load of reasons that you no longer should care for because if you couldn't talk it out with he or she they weren't worth your time to begin with. Now unless cheating is involved somewhere by all means whoever got cheated on, GO and never look back.
It's hard breaking up and having your emotions dragged through the nettles. It will get better as long as you let yourself see there is a future, another person who ay give you everything and more that you got before. That you will grow and bloom is also true in that you will change in yourself and be able to feel pride in this development or evolution of yourself.
Don't know yet, i'm suspecting not. I was left because we couldn't make the long distance work anymore so thats not a haunting reason. The fact a relationship so perfect shifted will possibly make me worry the next time though.
My depression got in the way of our relationship. He said he needed space and time to think about our relationship one night and I wouldn't give him that. I ended up calling him and we got into it and that's when he broke up with me. I wish I never called and just let him have time to think about our relationship. We'd probably still be together if it wasn't for that phone call.
That's a bullshit reason to break up the relationship completely. You cannot love someone and break up with that person for such a lame ass reason. How long where you together for?
Im sry if I hurt your feelings by saying this but it's sadly the truth. If you really love someone you will fight for that person. Being there for eachother in good times but especially during bad times! That's when you can call it real love
With all forms of loss our brains take avenues to reduce the emotionally destructive grieving. In almost all circumstances we rework the scenario trying to self justify the loss. Eventually these feeling fade with time.
I think 🤔🧐 that the person who was broken up with will usually carry that hurt, maybe for the rest of their life. It will haunt them and leave them wondering why.
If it was a committed relationship and the dumper isn't an asshole, then yes it will hurt them forever, in my experience. Still, decisions that need to be taken must be taken.
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