Would you ever send a positive closure message to your ex partner a week or 2 after your breakup?

Question

A message just thanking them for great memories and for letting you be a part of heir life etc even if it didn’t work out in the end. And just a last message wishing them well.

Noredcarpet · Accepted Answer

Is the closure not the break up itself? I have experienced ex and someone I dated to want so called closure. Guess what, turns out what I knew to be true al along. They did not want no closure. I think if you want so much to have closure it is really for other reasons than an actual closure. You can not summon up an entire relationship in a closure. Perhaps too why some want it is so they can try to look good in the eyes of others they know with the ex. I think I handled myself well during both end of relationships so no need for closure then. You could do or you should do closure during the actual split. I know few who have broken up and thinking OH now he is sorry, I write him and say I want closure, and what they want is for him who first of all got dumped because of the game she played, feeling inferior, wanting to feel on top, to then beg to have her back. Instead of saying to him straight out what hurt or angered her. To their surprise these dumped guys would not beg and had no need for closure. I think they saw through it. It amazes me that the one who left if feeling all superior belives the other one wants them back. They could have changed their minds about them. They may not want you back. They may not have a need for ex socalled need for closure. Instead you could be blocking their view when they want you no where near them and their future mr or mrs right. So far I never encounted anyone wanting closure, they want something else, for themselves, not their ex.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Well I've had two exes... neither of them deserved a positive closure message.

The first got a positive closure message but made several more years a misery...

The second kind of just tapered off, so neither of us bothered.

Third philandering runner up (who oddly acts like an offended boyfriend whenever we're around each other) got a closure message he tossed aside to chase me down for the rest of the year... So I really believe the whole closure thing has any value at all.

bddddd · Accepted Answer

My guess is that either you are the 'Breaker Upper' and you want to assuage your pangs of guilt and assure yourself you are a good human anyway, or the 'Broken Up With' and still linger hopes, or it was mutual and both of the above motivations apply. Regardless, it almost certainly will not be well received.

My advice is that you don't reach out until you are completely devoid of these feelings AND want to reach out for their sake, not your own. Some people have superpowers and can process these feelings quickly. For mere mortals, you are more likely talking years to contact an ex partner, not weeks.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

My ex-wife and I amicably divorced after 20 years of marriage and 3 kids. But most breakups are not that nice.

More common is a message like this...

"I just had the greatest sex ever. Too bad you missed it!"

Anonymous · Answer

My ex and I broke up 4 years ago but this was actually the 1st year we haven't seen each other constantly. I went silent on him for half the year but sent him something because it reminded me of him. We started talking and he said he missed me, but also disclosed that he erased all our photos and videos. He wanted me to come over and I did. We got intimate but I rejected some of the stuff he wanted to do to me because I felt like he could only have that access as a boyfriend. Then I got in the car and he told me he liked another woman and wanted to date her and he felt upset because she likes to stay in a situationship with him but he wants more.
I encouraged him a little but after that day
I stopped talking to him.
He texted a couple times asking how I was doing, but after that conversation I felt like I knew where I stood.
The fact that all our memories are gone for him, him wanting intimacy with no feelings and him pursuing someone else means my feelings don't mean much. So I was debating on telling him at first, but now i don't think I own him an explanation on why I went silent. He already moved on and hasn't texted me in a while. I think we're both fine not saying anything.

sawno · Answer

We went a step further, because we ended on good terms with it not being something we wanted but had to do due to the circumstances we ended on one last voice call. I wrote her a poem that I read to her during the call which was about how much she meant to me, how special she was and how much joy she gave me. Giving her reassurance promising she will find love like that again and wishing that we end up with who we are meant to be with (Which left the option open of us reuniting again in better times).

Was a very beautiful moment and afterwards our last texts back and forth was I love you. After the call I did delete the poem, it was meant for that moment and that moment only.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I outgrew that shit. I could be wrong but I think in life you need to learn to make your decisions fully and finally. When you end a relationship, don't look back. If she wants closure, she can ask for it. If there's something you owe her, make sure she gets it in a timely manner after you've assumed control of your emotions and clarity in your thoughts.

Amy_Mi · Answer

Only if the message is for peace, not permission.

Closure isn’t about reopening doors, it’s about locking them with grace.

If I send something, it won’t be to fix what’s gone, but to honor what was.

Something simple, sincere, and final the kind of goodbye that doesn’t beg to be answered.

Because true closure doesn’t come from what you say to them.

It comes from what you finally stop needing to hear back.

Screenwriter · Answer

That needs to be done with the first message. Do the positives first, then outline the breakup issues and close with a positive and say no more after that.

After a breakup, there's no need to prolong anything. Let it go.

Ironco · Answer

I've had a lady or two in my past dump or exclude me before. I will try to explain my side of the break up and move forward. I actually try and explain my feelings and how I feel, but sadly sometimes it goes on deaf ears... I'm not blaming them, it's just how they are. I'm by no means perfect, but I'll tell a gal if I'm wrong or wrong for her and then just move on, that's all I can do in the long run...🤷‍♂️

For good or bad...

Nikki1989 · Answer

Nah because I am still good friends with almost all of them. No need for closure; we just knocked down our relationships to a friend-friend level. It is not hard to be mature and civil.

Anonymous · Answer

No, being with them definitely was one of the most valuable experiences of my life and I actually feel grateful that I got to spend some time with him but in the end he hurt me so bad I just think it's fair if he feels hurt too and getting a positive message def won't make him sad lol

McLlovin · Answer

Lol this isn’t a job. After i break contact i never go back. Forward never backward. Any more contact is bad for you and them

OneViewpoint · Answer

A closure message 2 weeks later looks a lot like a reopening message or a can’t let go message.  It’s over. Let that be enough.

Abbycado · Answer

I did that in person. My first relationship ended amicably, so naturally I wished him well.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I have only had amicable breakups where we both realized romance wasn't meant between us for various reasons. A few are in my wider friend circle still. One benefit of not dating psychos.

Awesomesauce2005 · Answer

I did that and she went full liberal victim on my ass

Godihateyou · Answer

I am still technically dating Cindy Rios from Kindergarten. I have never broken up with anyone i just drifted away.

Flower7 · Answer

No it seems like that would send mixed messages.

exitseven · Answer

no, once it is over , it is OVAH.

strateguy632 · Answer

No because we ended

blackeagle007 · Answer

I don’t see any good f that

Would you ever send a positive closure message to your ex partner a week or 2 after your breakup?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Would you ever send a positive closure message to your ex partner a week or 2 after your breakup?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.