My ex sends me messages after she broke up with me - why?

[Anonymous]

She misses your presence

She still likes you to some extent

Both of the above

[Bitter_Sweet94]

When an ex reaches out after ending things, it’s usually not about getting back together.

It’s about something unresolved in them, curiosity, loneliness, guilt, or wanting reassurance that you’re still there.

Breakups don’t switch feelings off instantly.

People miss the attention, the routine, or the comfort, even if they don’t want the relationship anymore.

If she wanted to rebuild something real, her actions would be consistent, not occasional messages.

If she just wants emotional access, the contact will stay vague and confusing.

The reason matters less than what you allow.

You get to decide whether her messages are good for your peace or not.

[Nikki1989]

Here is a novel idea. Actually talk to her.

[Asker]

About what? She’s an ex now

[Drumlin2001]

I had my ex reach put a few months after she broke things off. I probably didn't respond in the best way. No idea what she was thinking

[slatyb]

She doesn't want you, but she's bored and wants attention. Block her and move on.

[Flower7]

Probably feels guilty.

[Asker]

For blindsiding?

[Flower7]

For hurting you.

[Asker]

Have you felt guilty for breaking up before? If so how long did it last and did you keep in contact with them?

[Flower7]

Yes, I have felt guilty about that. There are guys that I still feel bad for to this day. There was one or two that I attempted to stay in contact with, but it always went badly. These days, I stop speaking to guys as soon as we break up, to prevent that.

[Asker]

How did it go bad?

[Asker]

And did you ever blindside them?

[Flower7]

They were always asking questions about whether I’m dating someone new. They would also bring up the breakup and say I shouldn’t have done x, y, or z.

And yes, there are definitely exes that seemed very surprised that I no longer wanted to be with them.

[Asker]

So do you think no contact is better?

[Flower7]

Yes. One of them will always be hoping for more. And it’s painful for both of them when they have to hear about the other dating new people.

[Asker]

Which one is normally the one of them who wants more?

[In_Trance]

Why didn't you block her?

[Asker]

I can’t get myself to do it. And it seems immature.

[nik_the_cur]

Hasn't found anyone better, yet

[beenherebefore]

She needs attention.