How can I forgive myself after a breakup I caused by lying?

[JoshicusBoss88]

My ex broke up with me last year, and I’m trying to get back out there but the one thing stopping me from that is I can’t let go of the self judgement I have from causing her to break up with me. Would rather not get into specifics but basically I lied to her about something and then got involved in some friend drama…point is…I can’t forgive myself and it’s making it really hard to move forward with my life.

[loveslongnails]

You're always responsible for whatever you do, good or bad, right or wrong. You're going to make mistakes, some more serious than others, hopefully none that do lasting damage. The best you can and should do is recognize WHAT you did, understand WHY you did it and WHY it was wrong, apply that understanding to all future acts, and DON'T repeat the mistake.

What's your alternative? Hibernate and be depressed forever?

[JoshicusBoss88]

I guess I could become a monk in the Himalayas but maybe that’s extreme

[loveslongnails]

Ya think?

[Anonymous]

It happens, everyone does stupid things that cause breakups sometimes. I haven't, but just because it hasn't come up yet, but I'm sure I will someday. Just move on and do better next time.

[Nikki1989]

Forgiving yourself isn't about letting yourself off the hook or pretending what you did was okay. It’s about accepting reality so you can actually change.

[JoshicusBoss88]

The painful thing is accepting reality…but I’m trying

[_Jenny_]

You can’t change what you did by forging yourself

[JoshicusBoss88]

So then what should I do? Wait for a Time Machine to be invented?

[slatyb]

Professional counseling.

[AngryCarl3]

I suggest you try to learn from it.

[JoshicusBoss88]

I feel like I did, but I have this bad habit of going back to bad behaviors when I’m feeling depressed

[Iron_Man]

go to a counselor