How do I handle my first love moving on?

[Anonymous]

My first love/ high school sweetheart broke up randomly over the phone after over three years together. We were both within a year of graduating college at the time and I was going to move back to my home state so we could get married and move in together after a few more years of dating.

We were both each others first in nearly all things and we also started dating at such a special time of life which definitely heightens the emotions surrounding our relationship/breakup. I know its possible to fall in love more than once but the first time is well the first time so it feels like it something so special yet it feels that it meant nothing to her which definitely stings quite a bit after I gave my all for that relationship.

It's been 1.5 Years since the breakup so I have largely moved forward however, I found out yesterday she's been in a new relationship for a quite some time. That's a weird one to sit with. I have felt emotions that I haven't felt since the initial breakup and am so numb and sick. It just feels like I went above and beyond and ended up here and am so lost at this time. And its not because I want her back, I wouldn't take someone back who treats someone who loves them unconditionally as cold as she did with me, however there still are very real emotions and it hurts to see her move on so quickly especially considering we would be engaged and possibly married today had things not ended.

I do feel I know largely I just need to go out and win at everything in life and find a new beautiful relationship with an amazing girl and experience these emotions again. But I also have never navigated this before and it hurts much more than I could describe. There is a feeling that I will not fall in love that hard with someone again which is also scary.

Anyone who has experienced something similar how did you turn the corner and improve your life as a result of the motivation/pain? Anyone with advice in general is so greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance

[Zally]

I was madly inlove with my first proper girlfriend. She broke up with me and i admit, after the break up I did some stupid things and I did not know exactly how I was suppose to feel. Even now. 17 years later I still think about how I felt back then.

Advice from a brother who has tried to reach the limit of how much a heart can break. You can't kill it. The part of you so far within is untouchable and even if its only 1 person believing in you. Its all you will ever need. It could be that dumb bro you do dumb stuff with, it could be that co-worker who is always nice to you and you rarely talk to, the guy at the autoparts store that always ask about how your cars going. That bit within you does not take damage and will always give you a reason to bounce back. You are never going to forget and its gonna suck sometimes but things always get better.

[Asker]

Thank you for taking time to read and comment. I am glad that you are able to give me some insight from someone who has gone through it. I could never of imagined her and I not being together let alone her being with someone else. We had everything you could ever want in a relationship and we were so perfect together.

The breakup has been the hardest chapter in my life and it hurts so much for me to see her move on with her life like our relationship / breakup didn't affect her. The one realization I came to today was that she is not the answer to my pain or the hole in my life from the breakup. While she maybe could have been had we gotten back together, I would no longer take her back. This has helped me realize that the only true way to heal and move on is to close that chapter with her fully and be committed to meeting and falling in love with a new girl. I also realized that the incredibly high mix of emotions I feel can't be worked out and that I have grieved over the relationship enough to realize that the best way to fully move on is to fully move on.

The one thing that I don't know how to navigate is the memories and emotions I have for her in general. I don't know, we were both virgins when we met and super naive and I hold that very close as I know that its something that I will always cherish. I just don't want her cold-heartedness and current relationship to tarnish those memories - any advice?

Thank you I really really appreciate it