How to get over someone you were in love with?

[Anonymous]

I loved my ex boyfriend so much. I thought we were going to get married and so did my family and friends. He showed me so much love too, but then randomly and suddenly broke up with me. He said he’s been holding in a lot of hurt and needed to find himself.
It left me devastated. I had to go on medication and spend some time in the hospital because the heartbreak was so bad. I still cry every night thinking about him, to the point where my friends don’t want to hear it from me anymore. It’s been more than a month but the days don’t get easier.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. He moved on and found a new girl and is living life, but I’m so ruined I can’t even look at another man. I’m worried I’ll never be able to love or trust anyone fully again in a relationship.

I’ve tried journaling, therapy, exercise, meds, going out with friends. I believe I would be worse off without these things but I still feel a deep, aching pain every day. Any tips on how to get over someone you really loved?

[Finchie40]

I’m sorry to hear you had your heart broken like that , it’s definitely not an easy thing to get over especially when you invested so much of your time and love into someone that just throws it away like it’s no big deal., trust me I been in your shoes a few times throughout my lifetime, and the only thing that helped me move forward was time , and focusing on myself , understand your love for someone is enough , understand your ex only really cared about himself and understand not every guy is like that. Understand you weren’t the one that walked away from the relationship, he is the one that walked away , so don’t blame yourself for his selfish actions and behavior, your ex is just a selfish person that only cares about himself , it will be just a matter of time before he breaks this new girls’ heart or she will break his , selfish people do not last in relationships whatsoever , because they only care about themselves. So if you think about it? you really didn’t lose anything, you just lost a selfish person , so losing him was actually doing you a favor , because you deserve so much better , than your selfish ex. Always remember whoever walks away from a loving partner in a relationship , is the selfish POS person , so don’t change who you are as a person , because your love is meant for someone that deserves it , and some lucky guy out there is going to experience that with you. So in time , you will feel ready to put yourself out there and when that time comes you will know. but for now focus on yourself and remove your ex out of your life as much as you can to help you heal faster , do not waste anymore of your time checking his social media , do not waste anymore ore of your time looking at pictures you have of him , actually burn and delete all that as soon as possible , get him out of your head as much as possible , if he ever tries to call you or contact you in anyway , ignore him completely, he doesn’t deserve you period. He took you for granted and now he can suffer the consequences of his actions. Learn to love yourself again and understand you are a beautiful person that deserves someone that loves you the same way you love them. So the only way you can love someone is by loving yourself first because right now you have no love to give , but in time you will if you do pretty much what I said for you to do. You got this , I know it’s easier said than done but you got this , an ex is an ex for a reason, keep them that way exempt them from your life period

[ohsheeT]

It's a hard thing to go through until you understand what is happening let me try to explain to you so you can understand what im saying

Every person on this planet is energy everything on this planet vibrates a certain frequency like a radio station playing through the air through your car radio it's transmitted through the air down to your car antenna into your radio and your speakers it's air waves

The human body is energy At the top of our head is like an antenna there's a soft spot in the middle of your head And you pick up These frequencies these signals of energy from certain people When you connect with somebody You can feel their energy their emotion Their love And everything about them And when you incorporate it into your body You become a part of them We are all one

When you love somebody and you get very close to them you transmit these signals to each other of every emotion that you could think of

When you are with somebody day in and day out and there's communication and happiness we open up the doors for each other within we have all the answers Within and when we have new experiences and we do new things together and we experience life together it changes who you are it changes your body chemistry

And when you're going through this you get this feeling Within

And then you break up and that person is not there to open the doors within anymore it's like your body your mind your heart your soul your spirit is mourning that person it says if your body is addicted and needs to feel that energy it makes you not want to eat or sleep

And then when this happens you have to understand you are feeling this from the inside out you are the only person that can make you feel this way happy or sad and once you understand energy and what is really happening it will change you it will let you see that everything will be okay it's energy it's emotion it's just Who You Are

You have to remember That you are the only person on the inside of you No matter what you guys did together He didn't make you feel a certain way it was you that made yourself feel a certain way because of what you were doing together he was opening doors for you within to allow you to understand what's behind those doors

This is how we all learn we all have the answers within we just need somebody to open the doors for us and when this happens we love new starts New Beginnings we love learning we love understanding We Are Spiritual people and each one of those doors there's something spiritual behind it

I'm going to say that you are very special person because you can feel energy from other people there's a lot of people that cannot do this

I would say that you can see and feel things deeper than most people and that's because you connect and once again there's many people that cannot do this

So now you have to stop and think about all this walk up next to somebody and see if you can feel their energy look into somebody's eyes and see if you can see what they're thinking or with me or feeling

I promise you when you understand all the above it will change your life it will make you more spiritual it'll make you closer to everything

The Heartbreak and the pain that you are experiencing is your own because that's how much you love yourself that's how much you care about yourself and that's a beautiful thing because that's what we are all here on this planet to do to experience everything to the fullest

If all the above is true for you then you understand how to become one with somebody and that is beautiful that is precious and it will teach you a lot

Once you accept and acknowledge everything that has happened and who you truly are it's 10 times easier to let it go and to start life all over again because you have to realize that's what you have to do anyway and it depends on you on how long the pain and the heartache last

I'm going to tell you something that you don't want to hear like I said we are all energy positive negative whatever

But whether you believe it or not This is a learning experience This is why we're all on this planet is to experience Things to teach us to a higher levels Of Consciousness

This was basically set up for this to happen and for you to grow from it I guarantee you the feelings that you have towards your boyfriend

When you allow it and when you understand it was just a learning experience he was not right for you even though you think he was but you will see as soon as you let all this go somebody else will walk into your life and you will be glad that it happened this way it was meant to happen this way so you could meet this new guy

I know you don't want to hear it but it is true just watching see I know all of this sounds crazy I've gone through it and I've had to learn and I've had to grow and I've had to experience the pain just like you but once you understand what's really happening it will change your life you will glow
I will see it again it all sounds crazy it really does but it is true it's not crazy this is what we all have gone through

Stop living yourself stop blaming him Acknowledge it accept it Get over it because there's something greater waiting for you I promise and I hate sounding so rude about it because I don't mean to be I'm just trying to show you the fastest quickest way to get on with life and your new start because that's what's going to happen but it's up to you on how long it takes

[sage2021]

Several people have said that it's just going to take time to get through this and that's the truth. A lot of people here have experience with what you're going through and they know that in time you will feel better.
As far as time, well, every one is different. It might even take a very long time.🤷🏼‍♀️

What I think happened was that he found someone else first and then he broke up with you and lied to you about the reason.

One big thing that helped me get through it was that I completely stopped listening to music. Because I kept crying and it was only prolonging my getting over him.

Another thing was I wrote a lot of poetry about it. I was a poet and didn't even know it.

If you can - take the time you spend thinking about him and use that time on yourself and healing from being lovesick. Don't let him take up too much rent space in your head.

Be kind to yourself and eat good food to nourish yourself. Otherwise you could end up very sick.

Just remember that it's going to take some time, and eventually you won't be feeling this forever.

I wish you the very best and I hope that you will get through this soon.

[Screenwriter]

Clearly he was over you before he broke up with you. Keep telling yourself that that was the case and let time pass. Do good work, find a new hobby, spend time in the sun every day, exercise, take your vitamins, make new friends and stop obsessingabout it.

If you aren't already, see a therapist, and if you need to continue on your medication. A month isn't very long to get over losing someone you thought was in love with you as you were in love with him. Good luck.

[HawkPerception]

His excuse of leaving you because he was holding in a lot of hurt and needed to find himself clearly didn't apply to the new girl in his life. What I don't understand is why you waste a thought on someone who clearly doesn't value you. There are better people out there. Stop being stuck on one person who hurt you.

If you're a good person, why can't you find other guys who are equally good and love you just as much as you love them? Don't be one of those girls that dates one guy and says "I can't trust anyone anymore." One guy does not represent every guy.

From the small bit you've mentioned here, I think you may have dated a player who just used you for some fun. You might want to change the way you filter guys or you're bound to show that you have a type and continue getting hurt each time.

[AviatorTom]

Fall in love with someone else.

[foxsquirrell]

Time. There are no remedies I know of. I have been there. I remember it took me 8 months to start feeling normal again. And even after 8 months if I looked at her facebook profile pic I used to feel the would reopening again. I used to notice myself breathing faster, and feel anxiety in my chest, and going back to that horrible place I went through. It is horrible. People have committed suicide over these things. And I don't blame them, because I know how hard the pain can be. It is even written in the Bible, 'Any wound, but not a wound of the heart.'

I think for now you might need to continue visiting a councilor for direction and support. It is a very heavy time you are going through. I can relate. I think the best advice that I can give you is to be rational about all this. This guy who you thought you knew and imagined to be your soulmate was simply not what you thought. You need to realize what a monster he has been towards you. And view him as such, for who he really is. Don't think of him as the love of your life no matter how hard that is to do. That is why I told you to be rational about it.

Furthermore, you can google this, I read once somewhere that there was a King in the past who once gathered his wise man and asked them to come up with something wise that it could always be used. A sort of fix all adage or saying which is very wise and useful. And they came up with this. 'This too shall pass.'

[Purpleronnie]

A month is a very short time when you’re grieving not just a person, but the future you thought you were going to have with them.

One of heartbreak’s crueller tricks is convincing you that because you’ve never hurt this much before, you’ll never love this deeply again. But the intensity of your grief tells you how attached you were, not how irreplaceable he was.

You say therapy, friends, exercise and medication haven’t taken the pain away. They probably aren’t failing; they’re helping you stay afloat while time does the work only time can do.

For now, don’t focus on getting over him. Focus on carrying the loss without letting it become your identity. Almost everyone who has loved deeply has been convinced the pain would last forever. Most of them were wrong

[Brandi555]

I’m so sorry, but it’s gonna take. In time you’ll feel better and soon every day will get easier, I promise. Everything works out and sometime you’ll find someone whom you were truly ment to be with. Please try to stop looking at the past and instead look forward to the future and all the wonderful things that will come. I know it’s easier said than done but still try. There’s great things coming so embrace the new possibilities. If you ever need to talk then please to hesitate. Embrace your future sweets. 🥰

[FreyaRed]

His love is your self-deception

He likely left you for another who promised him more, your dreams which included him were for him irrelevant. Now is you ego hurt because under your skin you feel the harsh and cold reality, don't fight it, you can't win, embrace it.

[DonaldDarko]

Just time. I was hung up on a woman when I was younger. She turned out to be pretty worthless. It was just an illusion in my head. That's what all of this stuff is really just in your head. There's no way another person is really like you think of them. Nature wants you to breed after that you're expendable. Small wonder you hurt. It'll probably happen to him too eventually.

[Anonymous]

Time heals all I guess

My ex did my dirty. Was cheating with another man for a year while i was working. Now I dont see our kids and im expected to suck it up and pay alimony and child support while her new man drinks beer and watches tv in my house, sleeps in my bed with my wife and plays happy families. I say no and im currently refusing to work which is driving my ex mad because she was counting on that money

[Opinion Owner]

All I ever wanted was to be a father and a husband

[choco-latte]

You have to let yourself hate them a little bit. Enough to where you see their flaws and realize that you don’t need someone who doesn’t need you, but not so much to where you become hate-obsessed.

[noohair]

Remove all photos from your life. Take away all things that remind you of him. Don’t go anywhere that you went to before. I discovered that I can’t grow in the past. Living in the past drains energy that I need to live. Realize that his issues make him a bad pick for you so he was not perfect. Consider yourself lucky that this happened before you got married.

[WhitneySnow]

He left you for another girl, not to find himself (if he found another girl in a month, that excuse is bullshit). Just try to forget about himself as much as you can. Talk to your friends or a therapist about it if you have one.

[OneViewpoint]

A month, LOL. Give it 2 years. Life isn’t a video game. You don’t respawn in 15 seconds. This shit hurts. It’s supposed to hurt. It’s how we learn.

[Nikki1989]

You meet someone else and move on. Most people will have multiple partners before the right one comes along.

[Anonymous]

When two people meet it's a random thing
I don't want to sound mean, but there are no guarantees they will stay together forever

I really hear you when you say your family expected you to get married. You were looking at flower arrangements for the wedding and he was looking at tinder.

Anyway older and wiser

Next time you will be looking for danger

People need to experience things in life

I was hurt when I was 16 , I never got over it
But life goes on

[Anonymous]

If you love someone you'll always love them unless it turns into hate. The difference is accepting the facts and understanding that it just didn't work. They were meant for a time and the times up.

[Smileygirl2000]

What was your role in the break up? A lot of times people post this but don't share what role they played in the break up. Someone doesn't just do this out of the blue

[exitseven]

It is a hard thing to do but the good news is that eventually you will get over it. It will always hurt but you will get past it.

[genericname85]

In my opinion completely cutting them off works best. And then time just does the rest.

[BadInfluence05]

It could take months. To year. It could very. Maybe see a therapist. Helps and good friends around you.

[glennos89]

Only time can heal you. We all go through it at some point in our lifes

[Anonymous]

Here this will show you how:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/3ZPnAntJUkA

[dragoblack]

Focusing on something and keeping yourself busy. Like depression, the more you think about it, the worse it gets.

[LiamJHayden]

It takes realizing that the relationship was not working out for the other person, and keeping it going would be unfair to both of you.

[Jamie05rhs]

I know how you feel, honey. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I wish no one ever had to hurt this way.

[Staximus]

You’re just going to stop living your life because of one guy? If he was that important then he would still be with you

[KostasKouvalis]

Make a list of their negative qualities

Find someone better

[Paige2006]

You don't... you just learn to love with it.

[SheWolf1111]

Even I don’t know the answer because i am also struggling with it

[JayP47]

You don't, not really... but through time, you learn toive forward in life without them.

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Take it "day by day"-and meet somebody new..

[CupOfCoffee01]

It take time. Ben & Jerry helps.

[Essa1212]

Time heals all wounds.

[Pretendingtobesweet]

He likes pussy cat

[Danny_dan92]

By not thinking about them

[canamlusciouslad73]

CLUB A BUXOM BLONDE !!!

[Anonymous]

Go talk to him. Get closure. How he looks?

[_Jenny_]

Just move on

[Anonymous]

It's a very complicated question