What's the deal with a drunk ex-girlfriend?

Last night, I was out with some friends and got home fairly late. My phone ended up ringing soon after, and it was my ex-girlfriend (she broke up with me a few weeks ago), and she was drunk and with some of her girl friends. First, talking to someone who's drunk is a challenge in and of itself, but when it's an ex, it's even more of a challenge. She was completely out of it (she's pretty insensitive when she's drunk), but kept asking me if I wanted to have sex with her, saying she loved me and asking if I loved her, but then stating that she didn't know why I liked her and that she was wrong for me. This was amid other drunk behavior and laughing with her friends in the background (who I assume were drunk too).

I've wanted to talk to her about us, but not like this, and I told her that I couldn't talk to her while she was like that or when her friends were there. I was kind of annoyed, to be honest, and wanted to get off the phone as quickly as possible. She ended up hanging up for...whatever reason.

Question is, does she mean anything she says when she's drunk? Is she even going to remember this today? Should I even bother contacting her?

Just wanted to add that this isn't the first time I've heard from her or talked to her since the breakup. She has told me why we broke up, but it falls into that "you deserve better, and I'm a mess" reason (she has issues to work out). She says that because of this, we can't be together, but then she goes and does something like this, and it only confuses me more.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would be very careful, I had an ex come to be when he was high (I didn't realize it at the time) but he started talking to me online and said he loved me and wanted me back. Foolish was I that I took him back. But ya, it turned out terribly.

    Take what she said with a grain of salt. Who knows what she was thinking when that happened, and she was drunk so she may not have meant it. I don't know if I would contact her. Getting drunk and calling someone, I don't know it just seems like a really stupid thing to do. But people make mistakes.

    Give it a few days, see if she will contact you. She should apologize if she really does still have feelings, for her behavior and also to clear things up with you. She was the one who broke your heart, so I think should be the one to make you believe in you two again. Give it a week and if she doesn't contact you, I would give her a call. Seems like you want to at least know what happened between you two, and I think you should be able to know.

    • Oh, and just wanted to clarify since I didn't mention it above, but we have been talking a bit since the breakup (mostly texting, though, and that was as recent as Friday night). I already kind of know why we broke up, but I just have no idea what she was trying to do by calling me while drunk. Hearing her say "I love you" (whether genuine or not) was hard and just drudged up the feelings again, which isn't hard because things are still fresh.

    • I know exactly how that feels, my ex boyfriend that I talked about earlier did that too. And I was very hurt by it. It's not an easy thing to let go. She obviously has issues she needs to work out. And you need to decide if you can be with someone who is going to flip flop on you like that. One day she is worthy the next she is not. Is that uncertainty worth it? Sometimes its better to walk away, but if you feel you two can work it out, then maybe you should. But it will take some time to do that.

    • I'm not really sure if we can - or should - work it out. At least for right now. Within the relationship, things seemed fine, but the more she tells me post-breakup, the more I feel like she thinks her life is falling down around her (and I worry she'll self-destruct if she doesn't work on things), so from that, I probably have my answer. Thanks again.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Drunk = truth potion...


What Guys Said 2

  • She seems to have some self confidence issues and probably has a low opinion about herself. It may have originated from overly critical parent/s or past experience.

    She could probably gather her courage to talk to you only when she was drunk and had the support of her girl friends and probably wanted you to tell her that there is nothing wrong with her and she is fine as she is. If you do get back to her, you will have to deal with this issue. It will be good if she can get psychological counseling.

  • Sure she means it, but will she follow through when sober? Or was she just having a girls' sharing moment?

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