What does it mean when an ex girlfriend acts hot and cold?

More details are in my other questions...

To sum it up my ex girlfriend invited me in when I walked over a Christmas card to her house last week. We had a nice talk about stuff going on in our lives and I felt that old spark again. Since this was the first time since the breakup that we had a lengthy one on one time in person, I figured it couldn't hurt to ask her to hang out, as friends.

I asked her to hang out a few days ago and she said, "sorry but I really want to make this junior worlds archery team and all my free time goes to training". I figured she was telling the truth because she really is dedicated to her activities..in fact her dedication was one of the conflicts in our old relationship.

i told her it was no problem and I totally understand if she wants to do what she loves doing.

just earlier today I chatted her and asked her if I could borrow a video game that we used to play a lot. she said that she didn't have it. I felt that something was up because we just talked about the game a few days earlier. I asked her if she sold it, and she said "nope, but I don't have it anymore, sorry", and then logged off immediately,

im sure if I asked her about it she would say that she was in a hurry to go somewhere, but I know her well enough to sense that she didn't really want to talk to me. that's strange...i recall a week ago that she invited me in her house to talk.

any advice on what an ex girlfriend who acts hot and cold is thinking?

oh and I don't want responses saying, "move on she's not worth it". while that may be what you think is best, my question is what she is thinking, not what I should do.

thanks to everyone who responds!

oh yeah and on Christmas she chatted me saying thank you for the card and merry Christmas to me and my family.
i wouldn't consider us as "friends"...the Christmas card was the first time we've talked in 6 and a half weeks. the last time we talked she was ranting about how she couldn't get over what I did and how she didn't feel comfortable being friends with me


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know what the girl is thinking. She seems a little off to me. Is she seeing someone else? If so, she might have lent the game to him but she didn't want to tell you. Or maybe she just didn't want to let you borrow it anymore. I don't know. I see that you are under 18. No offense but you guys are so bad at expressing yourselves to one another in general. Hit her up on the phone and ask her what is going on. Tell her you feel like something is up with her and you feel as though it may be directed toward you. If you guys are actually friends you should be able to come to each other and talk. No one wants tension in any kind of relationship.

    And you say on Christmas she chatted you up. Did you guys have an actual conversation or did she just message you to say merry Christmas? If it wasn't an actual conversation it could just be her being polite.

    • she chatted me but I didn't respond because I had a bunch of people over and I just had time to check my gmail. and I'm almost 100% sure that she isn't seeing anybody else right now

    • Show All
    • yeah I feel you. I'm not saying cut things off. I know you care for her and I'm not saying she's a bad person. Maybe just get some more idstance until she gets it together and quits acting weird.

    • i see where you're coming from...thanks!

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think she wants to be in a relationship with you but she wants to keep you when she gets lonely. You don't wanna be a victim of her neediness. O would still be friends but keep it to a minimum so you don't get too attached to her. yea, I think she does that because she's lonely or needy or just needs attention.


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