She ended it and then reached out to me after I went No Contact. Where do I go from here?

[Anonymous]

So I had a great fling with a girl this past summer. We knew each other a little and went out & hit it off. Reason that it remained a fling was that she was moving 1000 miles away. So she moved and we stayed in touch. It was a very platonic relationship. I never wanted to put myself out there and I'm not sure if she was the same. But we kept in touch, calling, texting and exchanging letters. Eventually I suggested visiting her and she agreed. I went down there not knowing what to expect. I got down there and after being timid for part of my first night I gave her a kiss and she said she had been waiting for it all night. We talked about how we liked each other but it was weird because she lived there and me back where she's from. The rest of my 4 days were great. We acted like a couple, went out to eat, went to a concert, and I met her 2 close friends, a couple. The only sour note was when I brought up what happens to us after I left. She got freaked out & talked about how she didn't want to do long distance and wouldn't put herself in that position. So I was bummed by that but the next day she acted fine. Then the morning of my departure she gave me several kisses and hugs. She told me she'd be home for Thanksgiving and would see me. Over the next several weeks I kept in contact. I sent a care package as she was studying for an exam and flowers when she didn't pass. When the week of Thanksgiving came she reached out to me but ended up blowing me off. She texted to apologize her last day, and so I wasn't going to see her. I sent her a text saying "I'm sorry you couldn't make the time" and she called upset with me. The conversation eventually lead to us and what we were doing. She said there was no "us", we were just friends and that she had told me that she wasn't going to do distance when I visited her. She did say that but she lead me on when she gave me hugs and kisses goodbye. Then when I sent flowers and such she acted fine. Maybe she was still OK with me then. Because while she was talking about how she didn't want to date anyone she could only see every 2 months she said that she had met a guy that she liked. I was not happy with that, but didn't flip out. I knew that it was a matter of time before guys started hitting her up...she's attractive, smart and fun. Anyway the conversation ended basically saying she like my friendship. Well it was 3 weeks later and I had not reached out to her or her to me.

Until I got a card from her. I was surprised. It wished me a happy holidays but the thing that caught me off guard was this sentence "I know we have been quiet these last few weeks-but you have been on my mind." I was shocked to hear from her but that made me start asking all these questions. What does she mean?

I sent her a card a week later. Said "Thanks for the card. You've been on my mind too. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. -All the best (signature)." But now its been 2 weeks with now response from her.

Ideas?

Updates

+1 y

I tried to not sound over anxious to get her letter so my response was slow, brief but I did say I was that she was on my mind, basically reciprocating what she said. Now I'm wondering if that was right. I was hoping she would have responded to me since she broke no contact. I struggle with reaching out to her before she comes back to me because I want her to want to talk to me but I don't want to come off as a jerk who doesn't care anymore.

Updates

+1 y

I decided to call her last Tues. She answered and sort of seemed surprised but the conversation seemed very natural. I had wondered how the interaction would go, but nothing was that odd. It was like there was never an incident. Not sure if that's good or bad. The next day she sent me a picture message referring to something she had talked about on our call. I gave a short response. Friday I sent her a website she'd like. She responded with a text Sat night about 10pm her time. I didn't reply.

Updates

+1 y

Her reply just said thanks and she liked the site. I didn't reply since she didn't give me much and she was responding a day later. I do find it odd that she didn't reply to my email that I sent her Friday during the day, to her work email. But she took the time to reply a day later on a Saturday night when most people would be out.

Updates

+1 y

So we've been texting quite a bit these past few weeks. I don't know what to make of it. there's been two times on a Friday that we have texted the entire evening. I think its weird since I figure she'd have plans but apparently not. Last Friday we started texting about 1pm and the last text she sent was at midnight or one am her time. At one point the texting stopped for about an hour & then she sent a text saying "i miss home." Then she mentioned being home for her birthday in June. Then said night.

[yeahmyid]

You might want to set the records straight.

Let her go.

Long distance relationships lasts only when both the parties agree that they are in a relationship and they should keep on re-checking that every so often.

Else, these relationships fade.

So, you better let her go.

[sixstring]

Let the girl go. She doesn't know what she wants and is playing with you as a result.

[Asker]

Do I rule out contacting her down the road? What if she contacts me again? Is there a way I can know if she's playing with me or actually misses me?

[sixstring]

Contact her once, and tell her not to contact you until she figures out what she wants.

[lustful1]

sometimes when a guy or girl is doing better then the other she will look back and try to rekindle things with you and that's not chill so if I were you just let her go

[Asker]

Are you saying she thinks she's doing better or I am doing better than her? In my case she wouldn't really have any idea. I have done some work for a guy who I met when I visited her, who is half of a couple she always hung out with. Basically her best friends down there. But I don't really know if he would be discussing me with her and his and my email exchanges are short and not very personal, so he wouldn't be able to provide her much detail about my life currently other than working for him.

[lustful1]

you are doing better than her

[Asker]

So is there a way to know the difference between her actually missing me or her missing the attention I gave her? I hope that makes sense.

[lustful1]

no it makes total sense to me I think she's genuinely misses you

[Asker]

So do I need to wait for her to make her intentions clear before putting myself in a vulnerable position? If she misses me why hasn't she responded to my response to her?

[lustful1]

yes make sure what her intention are before you make yourself vulnerable