Dumpers why did you contact the one you dumped and how long did it take you to contact them?

[Anonymous]

just curious of the dumpers intentions. once you let something go you should let it go and be done. I just dumped my boyfriend of 2 years and I miss him but I think instead of contacting him I should just leave him alone. I don't know if I want to get back together yet but I miss the attentions and support he used to provide to me.

[Anonymous]

I would be concerned about sending the wrong message. Even if you are the dumper, you are going to have to deal with feelings of loss. Most of the time, getting back together is an extremely bad idea. I once got back together with a woman three times after breakups, and it was a complete disaster.

In another case, I was the dumper, and she was the one who called me. First she wanted me to come over and comfort her because someone had broken into a shed on her property. I did, and she begged me to stay over that night because she was scared of the intruder. Then she stopped by unannounced and dropped off the wedding pics she didn't want and junk mail that had arrived in my name (I didn't open the door, she left them, and they went right in the trash).

The next time, it was after six weeks, and she called and said, "Look, I know it's over, but can we just get together for sex?" She called again two weeks later and made an even more specific request.

It was probably about 9 months after I dumped her that I actually called her because I had left something behind that I wanted to get. She kept trying to set up a time for me to meet at her house, and I pushed her off until she agreed to leave my stuff on the porch where I could get it while I knew she was at work. This happened three times, and only one time did I actually have to see her. She gave me the item I wanted (an air conditioner) and other stuff that seemed stupid -- the original box for my dvd player, some other box I didn't want, etc. I went back to my apartment complex, parked beside the Dumpster and pitched everything but what I had wanted.

It's tough, but you have to take a good hard look at the situation if you want to rekindle something that didn't work. Often it's better to get a completely fresh start.

[Asker]

she seems crazy over you. She must not take rejection very well. 9 month is a long time to carry on like that

[Opinion Owner]

She was convinced that I wasn't grown up enough to make it living on my own. I had given in a lot during our time together, and I had let her belittle me and put her priorities first for too long. I knew for a long time what had to happen, and it took a while to prepare financially and emotionally to move out. When I made the decision, I was completely done with the relationship, I never crawled back like she expected.

[Asker]

good for you moving on. the best revenge is success and you have done that! :-)

[Anonymous]

what is it with you women wanting a guy's attention but not wanting to give back in return? you want him to support and pay attention to you like he used to but you don't wanna get back together? This is what we called giving false hope. I feel sorry for that dude, hopefully he's smart enough to give his attention to someone who deserves it (and actually loves him in return).

[Elaine1]

Miss him and why not let him know. I am straight to love and lover, even ex-lover. Hiding in my heart is too hard for me. If you miss him, just find him and ask him out, maybe dinner thing. No lover, but maybe still be friends.

[Anonymous]

Leave him alone. Don't prolong his misery. Your reasons for wanting to get back with him are selfish.

[Asker]

what if I just want to be friends? better than a lover he was a great friend always supportive. I don't want to use him but it would be nice for him to be around sometimes.

[Opinion Owner]

Friends? LOL. You mean so you can get attention and support from him but not have to give him sex.

[Asker]

I afraid to answer yes.

[Opinion Owner]

Hey, you're only human, but what you're thinking of doing is just plain cruel. Save that behavior for marriage where it belongs.

[Asker]

i will leave him be. I came her for advice and I will follow yours. thanks

[Opinion Owner]

Glad I could help, and may your future be filled with good things.