My ex-boyfriend's cousin.

[Anonymous]

I dated this guy for 2 and a half years. We broke up in the middle of 2008. Last month I made the mistake of hanging out with his cousin whom I have known for as long as I have known my ex. We got belligerently drunk and started making out. The cousin told me it was a mistake and that it did not matter how we felt because it was wrong. However, he is still coming over at least once a week to hang out...among doing other things (wink). We don't talk about our feelings but we do show them quite a lot. He is a very affectionate guy and he makes my heart swell. Every time I text or call him, he always reciprocate ...but he is never the first to initiate a conversation. So... whenever he is not in town and hanging out at my condo, we are not communicating at all lest I put forth effort to stir up a conversation. I'm not the type to chase after a guy, especially one who is a cousin of my ex so I'm just leaving it as is. I cannot help but feel completely confused though. Why won't he try to talk to me when we are apart? If he feels like how he act whenever we're together then shouldn't be at least try to call or text? Or am I just another tool at his disposal?

[jbattaglia]

it mioght be that he feels he "could " potentially like you but that he is trying to ignore it or stop it. the thing is; it might seem messed up cause he's a family member of your ex and doesn't want toactually initiate this "taboo" get together with you but will defiitely not back down if you call him. also, he could be in it for the sex as well. its still weird that he doesn't text you 1rst cause even booty call guys call alot. I think he just knows you will message him, next time he's in town don't message him and if you do hang out; be honest nad tell him you think he's cool and that he shudnt feel like he's betraying his cousin ; if you like someone you like someone. if he doesn't initiate he is trying to hide you and you don't need that . just be careful . hey help me out my question is above yours "is he jealous?"

[Asker]

He only texts me whenever he is in town to do dinner and such and we still hang out with mutual friends but we keep this so-called "it's complicated" relationship of ours a secret. I have given up on trying to get in contact with him.

[jbattaglia]

If you having fun. its okay but if you like him you need to stop being private about it. have a tlak eith him