Why do guys keep your stuff after a break up?

[Lucy7509]

I asked for my house key back after the break up, to date he has never given it back.

Why would he not return the key?

Trying to understand this behavior from my ex..and he ended the relationship during a row.

So yes I know he was angry, but I waited to ask for the house key back 10 days after the break up hoping he had calmed down.

[knowmeyourself]

There are many possible reasons as to why people keep stuff after a break-up. Some are:

1) They are leaving a door open which means that they want to use those stuff as an excuse to contact you later on saying something like "Hey, I forgot to take this or that. May I come over to grab my stuff?" and when he arrives, he tries to talk to you and may get emotional/physical with you once more. So, it's just an excuse to pass by every now and then.

Keeping stuff is the same. He wants you to call/text and say "Hey, I want my key" so that he can contact you once more when he wants to. He may let you wait like that with no response, but once you stop asking he'll send you a message saying that you can pass by to collect it.

2) He's still bitter about the break-up, so he's enjoying playing you and refusing to give you what you want. In this case, I think you shouldn't ask for it again these days. Wait until he contacts you and he WILL. He's basically angry and wants to fire back. He'll eventually cool down.

I think you should wait for a while all in all. Don't let him reflect his anger upon you. Give him time to cool off and deal with his emotional wounds. Just wait and ask again later if you want. He will contact you though in my opinion.

Hope this helps. :)

[Lucy7509]

Well it has been 10 weeks now and I would say you have pretty much nailed it with number 2. We ended in an argument, and he has never contact me, though I had blocked calls for 10 days after the break up, he knows how I feel about him. He knows how to get a hold of me, and he still knows where I live!

For now I am just going to move on with my life. He knows where I live... hell he's got the key to the house! Yes he can be bitter so, I hope one day he can cool off and talk to me

[knowmeyourself]

That's the right thing to do. See, with a guy like that if you continue to call/text him asking for that key will make him feel better and will play with your feelings even more. It's a great feeling for him to know that you need something that he's holding it away from you. So, by acting like you don't care will make him feel confused and he will know that you aren't to be played with. Good luck! :)

[Deft_maiden]

Don't waste your time and energy on that. You might never know why! Simply rekey

[Lucy7509]

I am not trying to wast my time and energy on this, just never thought he would keep the key. My friends seem to think it is his way of keeping the door open between ...turn of phrase, that it gives him a reason to contact me. He left all his things here and has never asked for them, I too left my things at his place and have never asked for them just the house key!

[Kabloosh]

Every guy is different. Any gift I received would either be dumped back onto her or sold at a pawn shop.

If the guy is unwilling to give a house key back though you need to change your locks. Immediately.

[Lucy7509]

Well I have had that comment made to me before, I don't feel he would ever enter my home uninvited. As for the gifts I gave him, I doubt very seriously he would get rid of them, they had some value and were what he wanted.

[Breathe]

10 days isn't enough to get over a relationship. can take a lot longer. But why he kept your key?There's no one here that can answer that question. I wonder what you were thinking asking it..

[Lucy7509]

I ask him back for the key because he ended the relationship and I wanted it back, I was nothing but polite when I did and I never thought for one minute he was someone who would not give it back.

My question was about why would someone not return something that is not theirs to keep. Had I had his house key, I would have sent it back without him asking because that is the right thing to do.

[Breathe]

well, basically what I'm telling you is that no one here can tell you why THAT specific guy is keeping your key. We can guess at a bunch of stuff but it means nothing...

Confront him and demand it back. If you have to, threaten to involve the cops.

[Anonymous]

Okay first of all.

Women do this too.

And you're right.

It's annoying.

There is not reason for it.

[Anonymous]

It seems he still wants something from you, like sex.

[Lucy7509]

Not sure that is what he wants from me, he never asked for any of his stuff back either. Left things here at my house.

[Breathe]

pff, way to read into nothing moron.

[Lucy7509]

No need to be insulting ...that just makes you look pathetic and to think you have Xper status..pff

[Breathe]

no, reading into nothing is what makes you look pathetic. your a moron if you think a guy keeping a key means sex... lmao how stupid some people can be