So me an my girlfriend have been dating 2 an 1/2 years, we moved in together after 5 months of dating and that was both our first time being independent(I am 24 and she is 22). She was emotional a week ago and I sat her down and asked her what was up, she felt the relationship didn't feel connected, that what I was offering her she couldn't offer it back. Throughout the relationship I think I became whipped, I stopped hanging with friends, going out, seeing my family. Everything she ever wanted to do, I think I've agreed and went with it. We had a break for about a month like 6 months ago, still lived together the whole time and by the end I was starting to move on so she came running back. Now we are either broken up or on another long break, I still don't know, and we still live together with 2 of our friends. She goes throughout her day like nothing is bothering her while I am struggling to make it. I understand the concept behind being whipped and in actuality its less attractive to be like that to a woman even though I think its okay, but I really do love this girl. I know its more attractive from a girls view to be the alpha male, to be strong and confident and to do what I want, and that's obviously why she was firstly attracted to me, but over the period of time its been so long that I can't really remember how to be like that. She is just very untrusting towards me from her past young relationships and she can't communicate without getting extremely emotional. The worst thing is, I was and still think I am that "bad boy" type, I have goals and I do them and I do them cause I want to. I never thought about what people thought, I live for love and I love to live and I know she just wants that back. Will time tell thedifference again?
My questions are:
How do I get her back into my life, if that's possible, and how can I make the future relationship better?
If it isn't always possible, how do I recover and move on in life from being a loving whipped boyfriend to her?
What do I do in the mean time? I feel if I try talking to her about the state of the relationship, she will go insane. Do I just go see friends and not come home? I feel it hard to do this cause every time I've ever went anywhere, she knew where I was.
Thanks guys an girls, really appriciate it.
Most Helpful Guy
If you love her, I don't know how on earth you can move on.
Realistically, relationships have different barriers for things like that. I would extend myself to trying 3 times with a girl, then strike out. It very much seems you miscalculated your relationship with her for anything more than a social role playing game for her. It seems she's not into you in the way you are into her. I know what you're thinking...but she moved in with me...she did these things. Doesn't matter...it was out of convenience. So now you're on a break? And just like other posters I don't think even you know what Alpha Male is. Yes in general being alpha does not mean not being "whipped" but for how long and only at certain times. Problem is you did it without your own conscious choice (at the back of your head) and you didn't choose to be whipped for her or give into her wishes. You simply did...that's beta. But at the end of the day if you know you only did it because you truly love her...then it's not exactly NONALPHA is it? An alpha male protects and provides everything for those dear to him. So be careful being an over analyzing alpha/beta prick.
In essence, I feel her ignoring you is emotionally abusive. That's right. It is. And a long break to a point you can't tell a break up is just abusive. If this is worth it to you, so be it...turn off this PC and go take her silence abuse some more. If not and you want to do something about it...date another girl or find one...see those friends again if you can...and consider yourself single. If she crawls back, tell her no more of this sh*t will you take. Make her SWEAR it to you on punishment of you breaking up with her PERMANENTLY. MEAN YOUR WORDS,
And as one poster said if she still is a controlling little ass...BURN HER WITH FIRE. Dump her.