My girlfriend wants to hang out with the guy she cheated on me with?

Okay, so about 6 months ago, my girlfriend, who I care for more than anything, cheated on me with one of her "friends" from school. This was around the time that our homecoming dance was coming up, and I found out finally after homecoming. When I found out, I was heartbroken, and depressed for weeks. After a few long talks, she apologized and promised to never do it again to me, and we decided to stay together and me give her another chance. Well all has been going well so far, and now there is a problem. She wants to hang out with him more outside of school. I however, do not like this idea at all. It's not so much that I am scared she will cheat again, it just seems a little disrespectful to me to hang out with the guy she cheated on me with. She did once, and I didn't like it. While I know I cannot control what she does or who she hangs out with, shouldn't she be a little more considerate of my feelings and not hang out with him because it makes me uncomfortable? I try to talk to her about this, but she simply will not listen to me and still wants to hang out with him. What would you guys feel about this situation? Am I in the wrong for not wanting her to hangout with this guy? It brings back so many painful memories at just thinking about her hanging out with him.
Updates:
Update.. A couple of hours ago I ended dump her after a LONG talk.I kept on telling her how I felt that it's disrespectful and insensitive for her to hang with the guy she cheated on me with. And it's inconsiderate too! She got upset and said she should be able to hang out with whoever she wants. So I said " F*** YOU THEN WE'RE DONE NOW BOUNCE OUT!" and opened my front door for to leave my Appt. She turned around and tried to say something but I shut the door in her face (which felt good).
She rang my doorbell and kept knocking on my door (most likely mad) but I never opened back up then she finally left after about 5 minutes. Later she continued texting me several times mad saying that I'm being a d*** and being paranoid but I didn't reply back and she still left messages on my phone too but I haven't listened to them yet. I'm now deleting her from my Facebook and putting her on block as well.

So I guess I'm on solo status for the time being..:-/

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Most Helpful Girl

  • BIG RED FLAG. You know it, I know it, we all know it. Clearly that girl has reserved herself for another man. I feel really bad for you because you sound like a decent person, but I'm afraid you need to give her an ultimatum. Him or you. And even if she picks you, still consider the fact that she has disrespected you, and has already broken the trust level. Don't stick with her just to have a girlfriend, friend!

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What Girls Said 16

  • First of all you wouldn't be paranoid if she never cheated. Secondly its not like you're suspicious about all guys she hangs out with just this one, who she happened to cheat on you with. You are right she doesn't have any respect for you and you have obviously been a little to nice to her to the point that she thinks its OK for her to do something like this, and you not to get mad.

    You did the right thing by breaking up with her. Just try not to cave in and go back to her.

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    • I wont...theres too many girls out there do be dealing with her B.S :-)

  • I honestly think you need to re-evaluate your relationship and talk through this with her, because she is disrespecting you. I know that I've messed up before, but I care enough about my boyfriend that even if it didn't bother him, I still wouldn't go there. It's just basic respect.. you've stuck with her and she has to decide where her priorities are.

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  • Once a cheater ALMOST ALWAYS a Cheater .. Sorry ! Yeah and she's trying to do it the 2nd time cause she got away with the first ... What you did was the right thing ... I hope that you stay that way .. It will be HARD and TEMPTING to go back ... So GOOD LUCK ! Don't worry Ur so Young Ms. Right would come along in time ... you're not in a hurry Marrying just yet right ... so RELAX & ENJOY Life !

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  • Is very disrespectful to ask you that or even hanging out with him when she still with u,maybe she doesn't feel the same way about you anymore,she doesn't care about how you felt or feel anymore. Clear things out and hope you find a solution. Saying am sorry means am sorry,I won't do it again..and she is looking for it.

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  • disrespectful and I think she still cheated on you even after talking and working things out with u...good thing you dumped her

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    • Actually there was no working things out lol I gave her the ultimatum which she refused so I dumped her..and now I'm a d***head all of a sudden smh

  • That is so unacceptable for her to even ask to hangout with him. no no no

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  • YOU DID THE RIGHT THING! Why should she hang out with the same guy? of all people why HIM? She's deserves to get dumped. Just drop her.

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  • wow good for you! you deserve better, and that is disrespectful and insensitive to your feelings

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  • you did the right thing

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  • Going to be real honest here. She's a selfish bitch! It ok to hang out with almost anyone but it's really awful to hang out with a guy she hooked up with behind your back. Glad you broke up with that cheater. Hopefully someday she'll date someone else that will cheat on her.

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  • You did the exact right thing. How could she even consider hanging out with him an option after what she did to you? This is a case of her being extremely selfish and NOT putting your best interest first. You can bet that 'other guy' will be waiting to 'console' her. Good on you for getting rid of her.

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  • If your not together why do you care?

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    • Umm maybe you should re-read my story we WERE together when she was hanging with him..

  • wow she has no respect for you. you can do better. stop tolerating that behavior you're letting her play u

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  • If she cheated on you, it will never ever work out. Simple as that.

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  • I think you should tell her exactly how you feel about it and give her an ultimatum if she chooses to hang out with him.

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    • I actually did give her an ultimatum I posted it in my update but she denied it so I showed her the front door of my apartment HAHAHAHA!

  • Confront her

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    • I'm going to try tomorrow for the LAST TIME its her last chance believe me!

What Guys Said 7

  • She's being a hoe.

    Dump her. She only wants to hang with him because she's into him. And wants him again. I would drop her like it was hot. And never talk to her again. Trust me. Why don't you go find some other girl to chill with? Trust me there are better ones. Just call one up!

    And it's very disrespectful to go hang with that guy again. She's a straight lump. Ask your mom.

    Dump her and never speak to her again. You'll love someone else a lot more.

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  • She disrespected you once by cheating, now she just throwing salt on the wounds. If it was me, I would have never took her back after the first time. I have feeling from you forgiving her the first time she thinks she can walk all over you. Show your self some respect and get rid of her, don't even ask her not to see the guy. Your better off showing some respect for yourself now and dump her like you should have the first time she did it.

    Good luck!

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  • Don't let her play you. If she still hangs with him after you told her you're not okay with it, then she obviously doesn't respect you enough and may have feelings for him still.

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  • She's disrepecting you. Talk to her and tell her exactly how you feel and that if she still wants to go hang out with that guy, then your relationship with her is over. It's either him or you basically. And make sure to relay your point in a non-argumentative serious manner, so that she knows you mean what you say.

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  • good job man. I'm sure this is the stage where she either sends you hateful messages or begs you to take her back so either way better to cut off contact

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    • TY:-) I will bro I will starting a new chapter in my life:-) I bet ignoring her will piss her even more HAHAHAHA!

  • You really think she's not going to screw around behind your back? Realize that this is the real world and people are going to treat you however you allow yourself to be treated. He's already tasted that sweet cherry pie and once a mans had a taste, he's going to eat the whole dam thing. She might say no at first but she's already proven to you she is weak and not trustworthy. She enjoys being around him and she craves his touch.

    Yes, I went about this question in a rude and tactless manner but if you don't respect yourself, why should I?

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    • I don't think you were rude AT ALL lol. You are just telling it like it is and I RESPECT people who are like that:-)

  • Break up with her. She has no respect for you whatsoever if she actually thinks she should be able to do that.

    I took my current girlfriend back after she cheated. Well it wasn't completely cheating, we were and a break that she initiated but. Felt like that. She confessed immediately, said she loved me and that she would do anything to take it back. It was tough (I don't need to tell you twice) and. Dealt with it it and we have been enable to work through it. But there was a common understanding tat any form of contact with the guy would end everything.

    A I'm not giving you this opinion as a guy who thinks its easy to just dump a girlfriend like at, that easily. I've been through it and a relationship can work after cheating if you do it right. But, as someone who knows exactly what your going through, this is different. She doesn't seem to give a sh*t about your feelings. Even if you had never told her no, she should know that that is a deal braker. Is common sense. So either she is too dumb to understand how relationships and feelings work, or she literally gives 0% of a sh*t about you. Wire way, get rid of her

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    • She left my place a couple of hours ago..so I gonna talk with her about this ONE LAST TIME face to face most likely tomorrow and if she still can't respect how I feel I'm telling her "to stick a fork in our relationship because were done" Ill post my conclusion soon just watch.

    • I wouldn't even talk to her about it, I'd break up with her right away. But good luck I hope things work out for the best

    • Via the update. Good job

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