My girlfriend ditched me for her ex boyfriend now she's my ex.. now what??

alpinestars-2002795
So my G/F as I've said on here before ditched me for her ex boyfriend that she had left for me a month and a half ago. I did everything I could seriously do to try and work things out. She said thanks for all the good times, when I left, although right before that she said, "We are done, and she was back with him, and that she just want's to try and work things out with him." ? This guy has already gotten domestic with her I don't get it? I never once laid a hand on her, nor do, or ever have I felt the desire to. Also I never would.. And she knows it.

We've been apart now for about a working week 5 day's. It feel's weird. We did everything together. I guess she felt that I was clingy too. I'm sorry, :( she was all I had. I knew I would loose her just like all the others so hence yea I wanted to spend what little time I got to with her, she worked she has kid's with her ex, well now boyfriend again, and I got her to realize she is worth something and go to college, then she ditches me and goes back with him. Ya we got into some disagreement's but nothing that couldn't be worked out with some patience on both of our part's. IDK.. I'm very confused, very hurt. And very depressed.

She just up and disappeared the last night I spent in the apt all by myself which she never did, I knew what was going on at 3am it hit me I wanted to vomit. :(. I still feel sick to my stomach :(. Even as I type this.

I've tried writing her a letter, I gave it to her mom, she through it away :(. I poured my heart into that letter honestly and she didn't care. :(

I know this is the second post of mine about my troubles, but I really need help, and I really need a friend seeing as I have zero :(. Since right after this hole situation me and my so called best friend got into an argument over something very stupid, and not even worth it. So I lost him as well as her.

This is the second time I've had a girl promise me she wouldn't hurt me like this, then do exactly that, cheat on me and then ditch me. She came back the next morning, and handed me my stuff and said where done and I asked if there was someone else she said her ex, and that was the height of it. She thanked me as I left for the good times we had together. I just don't get it. Then call me leave nasty messages? Saying I did things I didn't do? Like burning tires at 1am? Call me and say I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't drive by when I don't. I was an hr away moping by my lonesome as usual.

The only two things I heard from her last where, what I put above, and come get the rest of your things I found I'd appreciate it. Which wasn't many cause I had packed it up the night before, I knew it was coming. I had that gut feeling.

So now what? I feel like crap and she just is on cloud 9 :( that's a great thing to do to a guy that took you on a 2,000 mile trip for 3 day's with your kid's and that was trying to accept your children as his own. :(.

I need hugs,&friends

Updates:
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PS: I've taken up many things with the Lord lately I started going to church again hoping that would help, it didn't totally, I bought a cross necklace, I also had a private meeting with the Pastor and said some prayers, but I still feel horrid.
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Well, it's been 8 day's now since I've heard anything from the ex. The only thing she did then was left me two nasty messages, that implicated I'd appriciate it if you'd dissapear. She even said, "leave me alone." When I hadn't contacted her at all?
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I didn't get those messages for at least a day or so, cause my phone doesn't get service where I live. She got more angry when I didn't respond right away? What gives? SHe acted like I want ride of this stuff cause I don't want him to see it...
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So I was an hr away again trying to keep my distance, she accused me on the first message about driving by at 1am and squaking my tires? I was an hr away? Having dinner w/myself? We haven't had any conv in 8 day's now since that.
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That day I spoke with her mom, since at first I was dealing with her to get whatever she was so t'd off that I had left there all it was was a hoody, and a army t. and some rags for my gun to clean it and gun lube.
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After that and a hr or two chat w/her mom since she wanted to talk to me, she wanted to know what was going on since her daughter didn't I guess feel the need to let her know. It's been 8 day's now since that and nothing, no call, no text, no email,
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No letter, no nothing. I wrote her a letter of my own today after 8 day's of complete silence, it won't get there for at least another 4 days. So that would be 12 days of utter silent treatment. All I said is the door is open, I'm not mad at you.
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I told her, in fact, the door is open if you ever need a friend, or someone to talk to I'm here. That I agree with the breakup and that she was right. And that I really do care about her, but I implied if all I can be is a friend then so be it.
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That's all I was allowed in the beginning, and I'll be lucky if I'll get that now. But I tried. She can't say I wasn't hospitable. That I didn't attempt. I'm not chasing her it wasn't that type of letter, it was just letting her know you can talk to me
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that, that door is open if you ever feel you need to I'll be there for you. That's all I said. I told her I'm not bitter, I'm not mad or any of that non-sense. But that if she needs a friend I'm here. That is the last time I'm speaking to her.
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I told her I don't wanna bother you, I just had to get this off my chest. I told her back thanks for the good times as well, that I enjoyed the time we spent together too. I didn't beg for her back. I just merely left that door open. I just didn't
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want to burn my bridges. And I had time this time to sit and think about this for awhile instead of it just being all emotion. From here on out it's her choice. If she wants me back in her life at any point that's her decision. Which I had forgot to
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Say in the thank you card I gave her mom. It was too soon, I was too emotionally hurt. Well, just curious, was that too much? Was I wrong for writing her? What do the ladies here think? I'm done after this it's up to her. And of course God's will.
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If it's meant to be he'll mend it. If not he won't. That's my idea of things. All I can think is he obviously brought us together for some reason. I just don't understand why? So I guess I'll find out..?
My girlfriend ditched me for her ex boyfriend now she's my ex.. now what??
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