Questions: Break Up & Divorce

You know those relationship arguments that don't end things between you but rather makes you resent the other person for their stance in the first place. In other words those petty arguments we have with each other in coupledom. But even after you break up, you still haven't had your say about it to your satisfaction. Example: I've been arguing my side of an old fight about Bikinis with my Ex in my head for the last 30 minutes or so. (I broke up with her 8 years ago dammit! I shouldn't be having this argument anymore.)

I'm not the only one that does that, am I...

When I hear someone say "We are taking a break (or a time out) on our relationship to work on personal problems," I am always skeptical that both partners are being honest. Quite often, that is a way to break up that introduces the idea of a break up gradually so that the other partner is not overwhelmed at once with rejection and the partner initiating the break up can try to escape some guilt for breaking up.

I also realize that a couple could say this and both be very sincere in their belief that they are breaking up to allow time for personal growth. I don't really see why you would need to take a break from the relationship for that purpose; your partner should be there to support you in good times and in bad times and they should be able to help you with whatever it is that you need to do. They can certainly give you some "alone time" without the necessity of breaking up. However, I know that there is some popular notion that "temporarily" breaking up is an appropriate way to approach these circumstances.

What is your experience with temporary break ups to work on personal problems? Was it an excuse? Was it a valid reason? Did it work?