Is marrying non virgin wifes (who slept around n has lots of option) more risky as they will not withstand little bump in marriage as they have opt?

[Anonymous]

As they have lots of expectation after sleeping around and breaking up was common thing for them and also has lots of options , will they withstand a little bump or will they divorce and go to the next better partner till she again finds a better person (with better earning, better looks, better in bed, better in status, etc)? And as breaking up was not a big deal to them before marraige as they dumped many person giving reasons they found a better partner, so will she continuing divorcing in marriage also , if she keeps finding better partner and leave the present husband if he has a little defect and she found a person who is more favourable thrn her present husband? So if she continues that, will she stop one day or keeping changing partners n divorcing? If she keeps that then is it safe to marry such a person who slept with many partners and eho has lots of options (men)?

[Cammy137]

Seriously, man! Didn't we just have a long chat about this?
Stop acting like marriage is the only indication of a healthy relationship. Some people never get married and stay together longer than those who do.

[Cammy137]

People change in life. That's a fact! Someone can want to sleep around in their youth and then settle down later in life.

The problem that you and other people on this site have, is that you view marriage as being the goal/endgame for every couple, when it simply isn't.

[GFNimbuscloud]

Oh, Cammy. I think the thought of being GaG famous is weird, and kinda dumb, but you're one of like three people I see on here regularly, and one of a handful of people I've seen around period that actually make sense. You say lots of shit I could not say better. Thank you.

[Cammy137]

I'm honoured! Although I agree with you about the idea of being "GaG famous"

[Asker]

So they will settle with a provider after sleeping around and trying everything with her exes? So this husband will only get the partner who is now bored of sex aftersleeping around and now is trying to settle with him as age is running outand her lloks are degrading? N also she will not give anything to her present husband because she is no more interested, n has chosen him only as a "settlement" as said by you. So , do you think in this situation the husnand will feel any different or ant special? That his wife already slept with tons of men, tried everything with them, and who knows what else... but now after all have dumped her , she finally decided to settle with me as others have rehected her as wife material. In fact he will be the most unluckiest. N now as usual she will use the excises like (Past is past, My body is my body, I dont owe sex to you just because I had srx with others before you, etc) to not have exciting sex with her husband n thus the husband gets nothing. except excuse.. n if he complains then she will again instead call him insecired, dominant, loser, etc

[GFNimbuscloud]

@Cammy137 No problem dude. At the very least, I'm happy people listen to you. I get why, I totally want to be your friend, but I imagine you're super busy with like 7k followers, and internet friendships are weird.

@Asker "So they will settle with a provider after sleeping around and trying everything with her exes? So this husband will only get the partner who is now bored of sex aftersleeping around and now is trying to settle with him as age is running outand her lloks are degrading?"

Whoa dude. Who says she's bored of sex? Women tend to get friskier as they get older. Who says her looks are degrading? What if she finds someone she likes and settles down while she's still young, but had a wild past? What if she looks super hot as she matures? Why do you think she won't be up for exciting sex with her husband, even if she doesn't? It makes no sense to have a bunch of fun, wild sex, and then suddenly decide you only want boring sex from now on. Literally no one likes boring sex, by definition.

Why do you think just because she's had past boyfriends she wouldn't love her husband? Why do you think all the other guys rejected her? Is it inconceivable that she actually rejected the other guys after getting to know them better, and actually chose someone she liked.

You sound super bitter, and very insecure, and I'm not even your woman that spent her twenties fucking around. If you're not able to sleep around, and super jealous because of that, sorry dude. Work on you though, this outlook is not healthy.

[Cammy137]

@GFNimbuscloud Well, I'm always happy to chat. I'm pretty sure 99% of my 7K followers don't even use GaG anymore. You're right though, internet friendships can be truly bizarre.

@Asker I have to agree. It sounds as if you have a chip on your shoulder. Either that or the world has been painted in a truly dark light for you growing up.

Its like you view people with a different viewpoint as being these sewer-crawling mutant savages who eat their young and worship their frog Gods.

[Asker]

@GFNimbuscloud
Ok I am sorry if you did'nt find my opinion justified. But let me answer to some of your points.
Like you said
"It makes no sense to have a bunch of fun, wild sex, and then suddenly decide you only want boring sex from now on. Literally no one likes boring sex, by definition",
Sonow if she wants boring sex, who will be the loser in this situation? Right its thehusband... becaise she has nothing to loose as she already enjoyed with all others and treated them specially and gave them everything freely, but now suddenly she wants to change and give the "boring things" to her hisband who committed to her instead of dunping her like her exes. So thats what he gets for his love and care for her.
Again, secondly you said
"Is it inconceivable that she actually rejected the other guys after getting to know them better, and actually chose someone she liked."
So then, thats more dangerous, thatmeans she rejected so many of her partners before?
Then, as per her habit, whats the guarantee that she will not dump her husband as she is used to it, n breaking up and divorcing is not a big deal for her and is just fun for her. Again, who will be the loser here? She has nothing to lose again, as she will get many supports from the ultra modern people who will instead call the husband insecured, loser and domimant , because he did'nt sleep around and also can't watch his wife trearing him as "seconds".

[GFNimbuscloud]

Again, you're just assuming she'd suddenly want boring sex for no reason. That's dumb. That's not a logical assumption. That doesn't happen. If anything, her husband should thank the other guys for teaching her all of those neat, exciting tricks. Also, she's still having sex with her husband, who the fuck is he to complain?

Breaking up is painful. It's socially stigmatized. People won't give you any kind of support, except occasionally emotional, and that's worth fuck-all. Sometimes you don't even get that, especially from people like you. It is not fun, and it is definitely not a habit-forming behavior. With a minute amount of exceptions, people are almost guaranteed to break up at least once in their lives, to the point where that's basically a saying that young love is doomed.

The only people who marry their highschool sweethearts, besides a few one-in-a-million couples, are politicians... and c'mon, you know they've got a side piece.

There is no guarantee that a woman won't ever leave her husband, or a girl her boyfriend. Often it's the right thing to do. Don't believe me? Go to a battered woman's shelter and ask them. Talk to my mom about my abusive piece of shit ex-step-dad. Because she's broken up with guys that aren't right for her in the past doesn't mean she's going to arbitrarily break up with someone else, however, especially if he is right for her. If you don't want her to break up with you, don't treat her like shit, listen to her, and be good to her. Breakups usually happen because one or both of the parties failed to do one of those. Usually.

You're really hung up about this, huh? Look, no offense, but if you keep acting like this, it's really not going to be something you have to worry about.

I think it's disgusting to reduce someone to their sexual history. I am now refusing to believe you are not a troll, because the alternative is too depressing, and I've got enough on my plate. Good luck, friend.

[Cammy137]

Almost definitely a troll! I'm having almost the exact conversation with him on another question and no matter what we discuss, it always comes back to:

"So the woman can sleep around and have lots of sex with her exes but then when she finds a husband she stops having sex because its boring and now the husband doesn't get any sex even though all the exes did and he is humilated..."

And so on and so forth!

[GFNimbuscloud]

Kinda sad when it gets to the point where you can't actually tell, because people actually believe wacky shit everywhere.

[Asker]

You can go through many questions in GAG and other similar platforms , where people have posted the same reason i. e where the husband finds out that his wife slept with tons of men and slso had kinky sex with all of them, but atlast married him (virgin or little experienced) and suddenly turns out to be vanilla and once in a month sex with their husband and nothing kinky is involved. Now, tge husband who found out about it through some sex videos which she kept hidden in her phone or laptop, and after watching wthat his wife who acts like she is prude and conservative , was a submassive partner for all her exes but for her husband who committed to her, gets nothing as if she only settled with him after getting bored of sex with so many partners n now only want to concentrate on materialistic things and improved status. So, who is the loser here?
1) The wife has nothing to lose as she enjoyed to the fullest.
2) Her exes has nothing to lose as they all got her freely and got special treatment from her even though they dumped her later finding her non marriage material, but they will always be feeling superior in front of her present husband who gets nothing but they were talented enough to get everything from her.
3) The only one to lose is the hisband who will have to live like a "second best", or "third best in her life. And also what would be the mental impact after watching the sex videos of his wife with others where his wife tried everything with her exes, whereas he knows that he does'nt even got 1% of what they got. That will definitly force him to feel insecured and a loser who is only fit for providing and not attractive. And now when this husband will complain about why she hid her past from him, why she still kept such videos, why she does'nt do anything with him, then her reply will be that she has suddenly changed now and she no more likes all those acts. So, what does that mean? Does'nt it mean that now after enjoying with others now she settles with

[Asker]

The beta partner and hold sex with him now

[Cammy137]

Hahahaha what?

I'm out! This has become beyond ridiculous!

[Asker]

Not if you manage some time to go through so many post in GAG, quora and reddit... then you will not find it ridiculous... n will wonder that its factual n reality

[Cammy137]

So you believe that women who have sex with previous partners treat their husbands unfairly.
Assuming that is true, what is your solution to the problem?

[Asker]

Change the mindset, n stop supporting their demoralizing acts (sleeping around, misuse of freedom, misuse of being woman, silly excuses of "its my life I can do anything ", supporting lying and hiding of past acts including hiding STD's by giving excuse that I lied and hid it because I did'nt want to lose you, I hid it because "past is past and has no impact on present, etc , i got divorced because my husband does'nt stay with me 24 hrs like my jobless exes, etc)

[Cammy137]

Would men be allowed to sleep around and do any of those things in your new world?

[Asker]

And they gets the inspiration from the supports that they get for cheating, sleeping around both before and after marriage, divorcing 100"s of times, holding sex and special treatment with the husband whereas acting like submassive with all their exes. N so on

[Asker]

Also tell me yours solution too... I dhal read it with interest

[Cammy137]

Answer my question and we'll go from there

[Asker]

I answered your question, about whats the solutions... check my last reply

[Cammy137]

No, my other question:

Would men be allowed to sleep around and do any of those things in your new world?

[Asker]

No not at all, I already said in my each comment about husband being inexperienced or virgin. And yes I am not a hypocrite, dont worry.
Its same for all.
But now a days its prevalent that the wifes more partners than husbands, so the freedom and empowerment is very well used and misused. And then, another thing is when they sleep around then they acts like they are bold and very independant n its very good to sleep around and its their right... but suddenly in times of marriage they will hide it , lie about it, and dupe and manipulate innocent men and on getting caught they will give the common excuses like I hid it because "past is past n its not your business even if I had STD before you, because it was before I met you" or another excuse like I lied about my past and STD's because "I did'nt want to lose you, etc".
And the loser in this sitiation will be the innocent husband who will have to deal with being compared to so many exes, being insecured, fear of STD's, fear of being treated as "seconds", etc.
If they were so sure and were so bold that what they did before marriage was right n part of their freedom, then why do they need to gideit or lie about it? Why suddenly so conservative?

[Asker]

Dont they know actions have consequences... why do they fear to face it if they are sure they were right in sleepung around before and after marriage. If marriage does'nt change anything in any part, then whats the point of getting married? All can stay in relationships, break up and keep changing partners as per wish

[Cammy137]

Out of curiosity, what percentage of non-virgin married women do you believe hold these attitudes?

[Asker]

at least the percentage is much higher than the married virgin wives. N you will know if you go through percentage of failed marriages between virgin wives and non virgin wives

[Cammy137]

That doesn't answer my question. What percentage of woman who are involved in pre-marital sex do YOU believe hold the behaviours and attitudes you've been describing?

[Asker]

Dont know the exact percentage... but its as common as no of people who has mobile phones

[Cammy137]

I'm not asking for an exact percentage. Give me an estimation.

[Asker]

60-65%... because they follow such peoples mindsets (i. e sleeping around is a good thing before and after marriage as its their freedom, and hiding past including sleeping around, abortions, STD, sfrom innocent husbands is a good thing because "past is past , and has no impact in present, etc") and thus their mentality too turns out to be likethat

[bill_towers]

In general it's risky to marry someone who had many sexual Partners. They will get bored easily since sex with different people is similar to drugs.

[Asker]

Yes, sounds true... n its not a big deal for them to change partnerd

[WhoDatGuy]

The More sexual partners they've had the harder it is for them to pair bond. (form a lasting relationship)

[Asker]

@WhoDatGuy
Yes... as tge habits stays with them, n changing partners becomes their habits which they can't get rid of it after marriage

[Luvsmybabydoll]

Can a leopard change his spots?
Does a tree in a forest that falls make a sound if there is no one around to hear it?
If you are morally checking in on yourself then you can change

[Asker]

No its their natire... so here too it has become their nature , so they won't change their jabits. So I got your answer

[Luvsmybabydoll]

👍yes

[luna9047]

Yes. Same for men. I won't marry non virgin man. I'm a virgin and I only want virgin man.

[Asker]

Yes applied to both offcourse

[WhoDatGuy]

If you think marrying a virgin makes all marriage problems vanish, then you have a lot to learn

[Repa33]

Lol no