
Why do girls ghost guys?


My guess: sometimes, the guy might be clueless, mistake “going well” when it isn’t, and they’re genuinely afraid of the guy... but I think that’s rare and depends on the person. I think usually that if it’s a habit, they don’t really care about the guy enough to “let him down kindly... maybe some are afraid of the dude embarrassing them (crying, etc), but I think it’s usually just being rude and not caring about the guy’s time.
Once in a while, they can be late... but if they don’t show, or are extremely late all the time, and don’t call, it’s rude. Shows a certain lack of maturity and planning.
I’ve had many people do this to me (not dates)... there’s a lot of that that goes around here. I’ve learned not to plan anything “special” or at least have super low expectations. I’ll plan things near my gym, or an hour before a meeting that is five minutes away from our meeting spot... or that I’m going alone. If they show up, great. If they don’t, I try not to give them the real estate in my head by being angry with them.
I once was talking to this girl who I connected with through a dating app. SJW ignored me for 2 days then texted apologizing for ghosting me for 2 days and that she wasn't interested anymore, and just didn't want to upset me.
You know what I did? I thanked her, sincerely, for actually telling me instead of just blocking me.
It's so rare that someone actually tells you they're not interested directly, that I usually expect to be ghosted. People who do that are pathetic and deserve a digital brand next to their username or phone number designating them a ghoster.
Girls ghost guys because they never really liked him to begin with and were too afraid to just say so. Then they realize they got too deep and just float away
Yeah that is so selfish though. Usually girls pluck up the courage to ask out girls. Girls should pluck up the courage to turn down the guy. It's horrible to ghost a guy.
@Jaffacakemucher whats worse ghosting a guy the girl was talking to or giving a guy a fake number?
Just say it!! it's better than gosting someone!!!
@BlueeSheepOwl I don't know and don't think it matters as I would never do either and not except a girl to do either.
If you want to regect someone tell them it won't work out don't ever ghoast someone or give a fake number it is sometimes really damaging to people mentally being messed around like that. Even if the person really wants yes... The chance to go out when them they deserve a no. They should never be ghosted or given a fake number as its a horrible thing to do.
exactly @newinthegame that's exactly what they should do I totally agree with you
They were attention whores, basically
I've only ghosted once and it's because I felt my safety was in jeopardy.
Ghosting is very rude and inconsiderate.
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The same reason guys do it to women:
They lose interest, find someone else they like, s/he doesn't have sex fast enough for the other person, or they're just inconsiderate asses.
You just have to brush it off and try not to take it too personally. Or it will make you mean, bitter, and cynical towards dating like I am...
Wow- you're mean, bitter, and cynical, too? Lol
@Jamie05rhs you haven't seen me on here much have you? My username literally has "cynical" in it! LOL
Years of being rejected, friendzoned, lied to, cheated on, and dealing with assholes will do that to anyone, even the nicest woman.
But I try not to let my past reflect how I treat others, even guys... I don't want to be one of those people that hates the opposite gender because of a few bad apples. I reserve the right to hate all people equally until they prove otherwise
(I'm sarcastic too, lol)
I may have seen your posts a couple of times, but I guess I haven't gotten to know you that well.
I appreciate you giving guys a chance, even with all you have been through!
Because things aren't really going as well as you thought. They may have acted as nothing is wrong but deep down they weren't that interested to begin with.
Well, people who hide their feelings aren't the type of person I'd want to be in a relationship with anyway. I'd rather it happen now then receive divorce papers out of the blue 10 or 20 years down the road.
@Jamie05rhs Exactly. Ghosting is a blessing in disguise! Move on with a smile on your face.
I only ghosted once wth a guy who I had nsver been that serious with. Honestly I felt bad eventually, but when I first did it I thought it was the best thing to do. He had come onto me very strongly (on his birthday at that) and I didn't have the heart to reject him and so I decided to just give him a try. Guys are always saying give the "nice guys" a try and I had heard nice things about him and could clearly see he was a gentleman. But as I got to know him I started to suspect that he was a bit self absorbed and also because he automatically assumed I agreed that he was such an amazing guy that I wanted to go to jumo into things. Once again I didn't want to hurt or deny him, so I just went along with it. He had a lot of expectations about what he wanted in a girl and I felt pessured because he thought too highly of me while Im only human. He thought of me as this beautiful accomplished girl whereas I was seriously failing college and getting ready to drop out, I was having family issues, and I didn't think I could live up to everything he wanted. I didn't want to hold him back from going after what he thought he deserved any longer so I just stopped talking to him. I didn't know how to tell him that he was just too kuch for me because I knew had the right ideas, not too many successful men want commitment as much as he did. He was just asking for things too soon and too readily and I wasn't ready for any of what he wanted. I didn't want to be the girl he dated just to feel good about himself, I wanted to be genuinely liked including my problems and issues. So after I ghosted him, time passed. Whenever he would text me I would see it but I would just ignore him. I eventually met another guy who ghosted me and then it hit me that I was an asshole for ghosting the first guy. I didn't intend to hurt him, and I didn't know that it COULD hurt so bad to be ghosted. The only differnece was that I ghosted the first before things could get too serious. The other guy ghosted me after things we're way past serious so I didn't think I deserved to be hurt so badly by karma because I was only trying to protect the first guy from getting hurt. But I realize how wrong ghosting is an patched things up with the first guy after a few years and I am extremly glad to be just friends with him without the pressure of a relationship. He is still doing well for himself and dating new girls and Im happy for him
I ghost because I don't want to hurt their feelings or I don't want to argue with them because I have to call them out on their behaviour. I feel bad for doing it but I think if I gave a reason, they would be even more hard on themselves and start to criticise their own personalities. How can I say to a guy that I found him boring and unkempt or I found him to be too arrogant? I know you'll say that you don't have to give them a reason, but they often do ask as to why you don't want to date them. Again, I could make up something else, but I'm not good at lying or being dishonest with someone.
I know it's counter-intuitive but I do it for their own sake because 9/10 times, I ghost a guy because of my own feelings/insecurities/worries, nothing they've done. I don't particularly want to delve into my whole life story to explain why I'm not feeling comfortable about dating the guy, especially as I won't see him again. Also, if I ignore one message and the guy doesn't message me again or try to get in contact or ask me where I've been, I'll take that as they weren't really interested in the first place.
I think most girls that ghost do it because of their own anxieties and don't want to hurt other's feelings. They feel that that's the nicest/easiest way to end things. I don't ghost boyfriends who I break up with though, I will actually tell them that I'm leaving them and why.
It could be a lot of reasons, for me personally I lost interest really quick and he was diving in too quickly into things. It scared me off, it was so difficult to talk to him seriously. It's usually a sudden change in actions/personality or a realisation that causes us girls to ghost guys.
We can't be bothered dealing with the ordeal sometimes.
I'm going to hazard a guess the same reason that guys ghost girls, because they don't have the decency to tell them they're not interested and it's the easy way out.
Because they're cowards and can't be honest about the situation.
I honestly am laughing at the responses from the females saying "the same reason guys do." There are definitely guys who do ghost, but I believe the much larger majority of people who ghost the other sex are women, and the bad thing about it is that women tend to want to justify themselves for it.
Here's why :) ...
Laurie's Exhaustive Guide to Ghosting! ↗
I always ghost people when they get all sexual or are unattractive to me. For example, If I met you online and you send a picture of yourself and I find you unattractive I’ll just go along with it some more so you don’t figure out I didn’t like your looks. For the sexual part, Just not into it.
Yeah, You have to explain why then try to sugar coat it. It also may bring them insecurity so I’m being generous
If someone gets sexual, they deserve to be ghosted.
But I agree with up_64. Most of us guys would rather just be told. We can take it. We're not little boys anymore.
I’d like you to guess who I am, You have interested me with that. Anyway, if a girl is to say “fuck off” you’d still be in question. I don’t really see a difference. Both ways will give you the same feelings. Also, Yes being randomly sexual is mainly the reason
I do this a lot!! The guys picture is ugly and I keep talking to him a bit more until I cut it off so he doesn't realize it's because of his looks
Phew
Is it really that or are you looking for an excuse to keep talking to him? Because I've heard that women are less visual than guys are.
Yes, That’s all there is behind it. I don’t think women are less visual nor are guys, everybody wants somebody they see attractive
Okay
I’ve ghosted a girl before, but it had absolutely nothing to do with a lack of interest. On the contrary I really did love her.
I just kept doubting her feelings for me. This lead me to become quite frustrated as it felt at the time that she was friendzoning me. I was young, immature, and completely obvious.
I cut contact because I thought it would help me move on and forget her. I never have. I don’t think I ever will.
The worst part of cutting contact with her was never knowing how it would have turned out. The regret has been hard too. I can still see her in my minds eye and I often think about her throughout the day. She has never left my heart.
Same reason guys ghost girls. They are immature. They don't know how to act like an adult.
Not being afraid to say to someone they aren't interested anymore. Having empathy by being able to put yourself in someone elses shoes. And understanding you don't do to others that you wouldn't want others to do to you.
When someone ghost you and you finally figure out that's what they did, it leaves the person questioning what they did wrong. They feel stupid for letting someone in that obviously did not care or have respect for them. They'll dwell on the fact that they didn't know anything changed and their first thought wasn't that they ghosted them. Their first thoughts were something was wrong so they worried about them. They worried about a person that didn't give 2 sh! ts about them.
You emotionally torture people while you're probably sitting around with your friends laughing at the person you ghosted.
Its cruel not to allow people to have closure plain and simple. And all it would take to allow people to have closure is to have a short adult conversation to help them understand what went wrong. I don't care if you are honest and tell them you're sorry but I met someone else. It might still hurt the other person but it will give them the closure that it's over and they need to move on. That's just having human decency.
PinkMichae, I agree 100% with your response. Let them know directly, otherwise they will worry non-stop.
Thank you @Scarecrow13. 😎😎😎
I was dating a girl last year and she said how busy the work season was going to be with the holidays. One night she said it wasn't fair to me that I wasn't getting to see her, and wanted to know if we could re-evaluate after the holiday season. I told her I didn't care (PS to back up everything I thought was going fine even a friend of hers said she was happy) and then nothing. I wished her a happy Thanksgiving via text, and she responded back, then nothing. Accidentally called her (Numbers been removed now) voice to call, and she texted back saying she was ill and sorry for not answering. I couldn't take it anymore so I asked what I did to have her treat me this way, and she said, it was nothing I did, I'm a "wonderful person" her life is just crazy right now. I gave up obviously but a face to face just telling me something would have been better.
Mostly
A: I lost/never had interest
B: I need to scale back because I got top much on my plate
c: I really just... forget.
D:if he trying to move too fast. It freaks me out quickly especially after I say Im not looking for anything serious over and over,
E; just can't find the words.
Guys do that too and it's because they don't like confrontation. That's wrong. She should at least text you.
I do it because i was never really interested in the first place/lost interest or i got to know the person and their personality was shit. Its not something i like doing, but i guess I don't know how to say I'm not interested anymore so its easier to just disappear. And also in the past when I'd say i wasn't interested I'd have guys cuss me out or just get really weird so thats another reason why i just ghost so i don't have to deal with a mans wrath.
I once ghosted a guy cause he was wayyyyy more into me then I was into him. We had nothing in common but he kept calling me and leaving voicemails. I was younger and didn’t want to hurt his feelings I guess. So I just ghosted
I got ghosted because he was having a lot on his plate and felt pressured. I stopped contacting him but turned out that he still liked me and was on fence for a long time. I gave him one more chance but made it clear that was it if he pulled the same crap.
We are happy now.
Because they show very little interest in the girls and their likes/dislikes. Most guys just want to hook up
She obviously doesn't share your opinion about it going well.
Same reason why guys ghost girls. When they lose interest and want to make drama-free getaway 🤷♂️
Lacking in connection or chemistry. The guy bores her. The guy is self-centered. He said something insensitive and nothing is keeping her there so she leaves.
I’ve only done it if the guy makes me fear for my safety (for some reason I have a tendency to attract dangerous people) or if I’ve told him that I’m not interested and he doesn’t seem to get the message, or thinks that he can change my mind.
@McKellar What do you mean? Guys who make me fear for my safety or can't take no for an answer aren't my type.
@McKellar Well in that case he would be. But why would I ghost him if he makes me feel comfortable?
They weren't really interested in them (lost interest) and they were afraid to tell them.
They found someone else (which probably falls under not being interested in them).
They should tell the guy!
They never really liked him.
Probably a rebound or just soemone to pass the time
people ghost people, period
could be for any reason but i think the most obvious one is they're not interested in talking to u anymore and nobody is obliged to officially announce that. people just go, it's life
deal with it
Guys do the same thing. A lot of memes are made by girls who complain to be left on read by their boyfriend 😂
Jsut cos a guy does someonething stupid doesn't mean a girl needs to copy. Likewise witg the other way round. Ghosting is horrible the person deserves to be given a no.
Ghosting is far worse than a guy not responding to his gfs message within 5 mins lol
It’s easier to stop talking to someone and ignore their messages than have to tell them you don’t like them or don’t want to talk to them anymore which could make them angry or violent
I have ghosted two guys but it was because I told them that I was not interested and they just kept bugging me so I got fed up.
Maybe she lost interest maybe he's insisting too much and that can be a turn off... maybe she met someone else, maybe she doesn't know what she wants but doesn't want to explain that to him
I've read all of the comments down below & all the more reason why I don't talk to women anymore.
My confidence is fine, it's just going through the same ghosting pattern over & over & over & over again,... it gets bloody well frickin' tiring.
This is what I want to know. I mean I know why, but why not just tell the guy how you feel? He put himself out there. If you have already told him and he continues to contact you, ignoring him is acceptable at that point.
Things are only going well to you , but not her. Her mind could be on other people, or other things
For the same reason some guys ghost girls. They're too cowardly to properly reject someone or breakup
people are entitled to change of opinion i guess. maybe they just realized you aren't the one
Because that's the man perspective. Secretly she was getting bored but she was too much of a coward to come straight. Since leading on and then disappearing. was more convenient
Typically... They have got someone in their vajaja at that moment
I only ghost dudes who creep me out or cross a line.
Because she has 10 other simps begging her for stuff.
We do the same sometimes
Like i did ghost my tinder date and she was texting me for another 20 mins because i wanted to stay home actually and watch tv instead of going out on date with her
I ghosted a guy because he wouldn’t take no for an answer - he didn’t reflect me
I only ghost guys if they are psycho or if they want to only get in my pants
Just generally not being copacetic with the interaction, but not knowing how to communicate that fact in a satisfactory way.
The question remains no matter the reason having someone your trying to connect with just disappear is disgusting behaviour even children don't do it.
Some do it to fuck with someone like an ex or something or just out of fun for them at least from what I've seen, never happened to me
Only immature people would "ghost" others. I'd normally just send a text message like a regular person to formally decline the relationship with the woman. It saves time for everyone.
Because things are probably not going well and maybe you don't realize it.
Turns out it wasn't going as well as you thought lol.
If you put yourself in a ghostable position (like the tool with the flowers and watch on his right hand), it means that you are stupid and deserve to be ghosted.
As Jack Nicholson said, they lack accountability.
Like some men, some girls are too big of a pussy to actually tell them they're not interested.
Well it’s clearly not going well if they’re ghosting you
Maybe it’s because your lacking consistency while she needs it? Depending on what is going on
To avoid psychos.
Probably end up creating more thou 🤷♂️
Cause mostly people are immature. Ghosting someone is immature.
They lack confidence to tell you how they feel- said no one
Just cause you think they're going well doesn't mean she does.
Fun abbreviation ( Don't take this serious)
G. I. R. L - Ghost In Real Life
While it may be going good for the guy, she probably isn’t interested. If happens all of a sudden there may be some different reasons!
Cause they are cheating and are about to break up with you
Mostly because they become annoying 🧚💚
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