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All my life on gag and questions about why women date assholes boiled down to this take. This take answers it all because I used to be an asshole like guy and had everything going for me (i still am a little bit).
I was exactly like how this take described it. I felt no need to change unfortunately due to the gains i was getting because although many girls will decide consciously that they don't like assholes and all that, the fact is, when they are faced with the real situations, some will let their subconscious take over their minds due to attraction and they will then fall for the asshole (which pretty much happens to me all the time)
then why are even you wasting your time on here? Shouldn't you be grabbing some girls tits right now instead of using a keyboard? I have a hard time believing you are a true asshole.
I said I used to be one 😂
It's holidays now and I don't have the transport to get out of the house so nea
I'm on my phone by the way 😂
then they'll consciously recognize those traits when they get older, they'll also be less hot and they'll still wanna fuck assholes even if they consciously know assholes aren't good dating choices. cuz girls go for stronger men.
fuck 'em and ditch 'em boys. you'll thank me in the long run. so many downvotes incoming. you'll learn or turn old and grey and go man I wish I wouldn't have trusted that bitch and fucked more bitches.
assholes are usually hot because they dont need to learn how to be nice cuz women already want to fuck them.
I'm a 34 year old man (and a "sweet guy") and I had most of my sexual success in my late 20s. Girls who would not give me the time of day when I was 18-25 treated me different when I got older.
HOWEVER there is one really horrible thing about the nice guy "having to wait". Women are their most attractive from their teens to mid 20s. This is also the time they are most likely to make asinine dating decisions such as what you described. Nice guys LOSE OUT in time of life when girls are most attractive.
Hey now... ;)
sorry ozanne... I bet you are a beautiful milf. :)
just going off on this a little further. I accept the asshole = false confidence and how most young women can't decipher confidence versus false confidence. I also had a recent experience where I dated a very awesome young woman who was TOO nice and felt myself struggling to stay physically attracted to her although she was very pretty. I believe this paradox has existed since the beginning of mankind. However what has not existed until very recently (50 years) is FEMINISM. Feminism has had a very negative, insidious impact on the upbringing and character development of young men. It has brainwashed men (and women) to believe that "the woman is never wrong and masculinity is evil'. It has created a new generation of passive, pleasing wimpy guys. I used to one these guys and I've been trying toughen up for the last few years. The biological impulse for a woman to be attracted to an asshole will never change. However feminism can reversed if enough men/women fought against it.
"While you're younger and the women in your dating pool are still maturing and figuring these things out the hard way, it may be a little rough, but as you get older, if you don't allow yourself to become jaded and bitter, you'll begin meeting women who recognize these traits in you as well as the fact that you are a genuinely GOOD, kind person."
This is kind of what I'm doing at the moment. It kind of sucks, like you feel very alone and left out. However, I know it's the best option since teenage girls and early adult women are a coin-toss, and you don't want those odds if it involves getting your heart thrown around.
This is not true for most girls lol
Maybe for you... but it has been shown girls like dickheads because
- he treats everyone else bad but treats her like a queen
- usually the ones that are assholes have higher confidence, which attracts more women
- a lot get a thrill on the constant bantering between each other vs a boring guy
- it's a challenge and it lures women, we all know people want what they can't have
And there you have it
I'm holding off dating and I have been through a lot and I'm in therapy yet I have heard from guys online rude comments judging me based on my relationship status. It's like there are some guys who take their anger out on women for bad experiences they have had with women. And when I'm actually taking a break and talking to a therapist because I have been through a lot in stress and life I get criticized by butt hurt men and accused of having high standards because I'm not dating right now
Great take by the way
I think the central problem women have with attraction is they are pulled in opposite directions. They actually are attracted to arrogance, rudeness, loudness, inconsiderateness and impulsive because all those things are classic indicators of social dominance and women have a very strong instinctive draw to that. At the same time they also are drawn to caring, considerate, loyal, trustworthy, sensitive men because there are equally good biological reasons for wanting that. The rational mind tries to square the circle and make sense of the conflicting biological impulses, that's what this amounts to. Or as ThisDudeHere put it, 'women don't like assholes except when they do'.
Actually I hate guys who are like what you described those guys are the main ones trying to flirt or hook up with me... I usually try to avoid them like the plague
sweetandsassy... are you still virgin? If not, what was the personality of the guy you lost it to? Be honest.
I love how all the bitter dudes don't have profile pictures lmao
I liked your take quite a bit, but I'd like to point out that most people's definition of asshole is much to wide. Relationships will almost always go on either the mans time and frame, or the woman's. many guys are labels assholes simply because they do not defer to the woman's judgement as to how the relationship will function.
LOL! When I read your title I actually thought this would be a take for why women don't like assholes (like the actual body part)!!! I just don't know why :D So when I started reading the intro I got so confused :D OMG haha!
Hahaha toss that on the backburner for another Take...
This is Awesome! Where are all the opinions, hot topics like this usually have more activity?
Great Advice: Lessons to Learn GUYS who believe women actually LIKE assholes:
Recognize that it's not the "being an asshole" part that women end up finding themselves attracted to.
Recognize the positive traits that we are ACTUALLY after, and that these are the things we are seeing in the wrong guys.
Work on building those traits for yourselves and on being a genuinely good person.
Accurate Comparisons:
Arrogange = confidence;
Rude = Self-assured;
Impulsive = Fun;
Inconsiderate = Oblivious;
Loud/obnoxious = Funny.
I like your insight & what these so called "nice guys" always forget is most women know they maybe be dating an asshole, but the reason most of them stay with them is because the feel they can Change Them.
And 99.9999999999999999% of the time they are wrong!
Well Duh, That's pretty much implied
Interesting take! But you're basically talking in circles! You claim women don't like assholes! But at the same time you admit that women CHOOSE assholes while rejecting other men who are clearly NOT assholes! It really makes no difference!
Women have become FAMOUS for choosing uncaring assholes who by definition, don't give a damn about them! The fact that so many women actually CHOOSE assholes makes it very difficult to take women seriously as intelligent adults! And it also pushes good and decent men to BECOME uncaring assholes!
"You claim women don't like assholes! But at the same time you admit that women CHOOSE assholes while rejecting other men who are clearly NOT assholes!"
Did you read the part where I said it was certain qualities that we are seeing in them (either because they're there or we're misinterpreting a more negative trait as something else that we actually want) that we are attracted to? The whole point was, we are not attracted to ASSHOLES. We are attracted to confidence, self-assuredness, fun and a sense of humour... a lot of times, those "assholes" you see women with exhibit those traits, and THAT is what women are attracted to - they would much prefer those guys not be assholes.
If a genuinely kind guy has those traits, we'll choose him every time. But, what I see more often than not, is that the guys who are complaining that women only want assholes are not only lacking all or some of those attractive traits, they're not necessarily kind guys at all. They're "nice" guys who are "nice"
because they think that being "nice" means they deserve a woman's affection, without realizing that a woman's affection and attention isn't something that is "deserved" or "earned", but a choice she makes based on what she wants in a partner.
I also find that a lot of times, the guys complaining that they always see women with assholes are also seeing those guys through their own lens, which paints them as assholes when maybe they're not, or at least they're not an asshole to HER. Guys who are insecure and having problems attracting women themselves will see a good-looking, confident guy and automatically assume he's an asshole, because he's the same "type" of guy that was mean to this guy in high school (jock, party boy). Or he sees women with guys who are dicks to HIM, so to him the guy's an asshole, but he's not an asshole to her, or to his friends...
In typical female fashion, you sit there and try to put men into silly little boxes that you've dreamed up! That is a big part of the problem! You may not fully realize the level of gross stupidity involved in passing over genuine kindness and respect to choose an uncaring asshole man!
Let me spell it out for you! Through the miracle of female hormone fogged "thinking", a man who CHOOSES to be kind and respectful is automatically seen by many women as weak and unattractive! While a rude, loud-mouth asshole is seen as manly and attractive just for acting like as ass! This is the height of female stupidity! Like it or not, many women are choosing uncaring assholes for reasons other than good sense! I don't think women realize how their senseless choices reward, reinforce and breed MORE asshole men!
Instead of trying to rationalize foolish assumptions that kind , respectful men have something terribly wrong with them, you might consider the extreme failure of women who CHOOSE assholes!
OK whatever. I thought I wrote a pretty well-balanced and respectful Take that explains what's going on when it seems like "women choose assholes", but hey, you don't actually want to hear anything that might help you understand what's actually going on, so I'm not gonna bother continuing to explain it. If you want to continue to believe that we just straight up like assholes, by all means, continue believing that bullshit, rather than actually listening to what real women are saying about what traits it is that we are actually attracted to and working on becoming a more attractive person.
Not sure what "silly little boxes" I put men in with my comment, but whatevs. You're gonna read what you decide to read, rather than what I wrote ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It's amusing because you say things like "in typical female fashion", which implies a vast generalization about the female gender, while accusing ME of putting men into silly little boxes... that's almost cute.
Opinion owner I get your point. Take owner he is basically saying what I said in my comments. With a little added venting of course.
I realize that many women refuse to accept any responsibility at all for their bad choices in men! I realize it's much easier to shift ALL blame on men in general! All I'm really saying here is that women need to look at THEMSELVES and what THEY are doing! If they are somehow mistaking a man who "Acts like an ass!" for something better, it's not exactly a mark of wisdom! In view of these stupid female mating choices, there may have been good reasons for women historically being denied the right to choose a mate.
You gave useless advice for young men stating:
"While you're younger and the women in your dating pool are still maturing and figuring these things out the hard way, it may be a little rough, but as you get older, if you don't allow yourself to become jaded and bitter, you'll begin meeting women who reognise these traits in you as well as the fact that you are a genuinely GOOD, kind person."
You really think "[genuinely GOOD, kind]" men should settle for "asshole" leftovers?
"I realize that many women refuse to accept any responsibility at all for their bad choices in men! I realize it's much easier to shift ALL blame on men in general!"
Really? Because I'm pretty sure my Take included advice to young ladies about this very issue...
"You really think "[genuinely GOOD, kind]" men should settle for "asshole" leftovers?"
If you choose to view women as "leftovers" that's your problem and no one else's. How about leave her past in the past and evaluate the women you meet based on who they are when you meet them? Would it be fair for people to judge YOU based on the mistakes you made when you were young and still figuring the world out? No, it wouldn't me. Cut people some fucking slack.
The whole arrogant idea that "[genuinely GOOD, kind]" men should be cast aside in favor of asshole men until AFTER women have spent their foolish youth screwing assholes is outrageous! "[genuinely GOOD, kind]" men shouldn't have to be women's last choice! If a man wants to have a woman during her prime years, he is actually better off becoming an uncaring asshole! Your own statement makes this clear! This is REALLY sick and insulting! It's no wonder that many "[genuinely GOOD, kind]" men are looking at more traditional cultured foreign women instead of American ladies who have been passed back and forth from asshole to asshole! I'm just trying to give you an idea how all this looks from a man's perspective!
"If a man wants to have a woman during her prime years, he is actually better off becoming an uncaring asshole! "
No.. he should cultivate the traits women actually find attractive.
FFS.
This is pointless. Enjoy your bitterness.
Given the actual choice between a "[genuinely GOOD, kind]" man and an uncaring asshole, YOU have already made it clear that many women would choose the asshole! That's not up for debate! For you to claim men "[should cultivate the traits women actually find attractive]" shows a mindset of entitled female privilege! If a woman can't recognize and value a "[genuinely GOOD, kind]" man for what he is, yet she CAN choose an uncaring asshole who doesn't give a damn about her, SHE IS AN ABSOLUTE FOOL! That's the REAL problem!
If a "[genuinely GOOD, kind]" man must create a fake tailored personality to try to please a FOOL woman who would otherwise choose an asshole, then that woman is basically a spoiled, foolish, delusional CHILD! How could he possibly have respect for her? Notice you keep assuming the the entire problem comes from the man! needing to change. Men are certainly not perfect... but neither are women! In this instance, the woman really needs to grow up!
Overall good take, however this is where you lost me:
"While you're younger and the women in your dating pool are still maturing and figuring these things out the hard way, it may be a little rough, but as you get older, if you don't allow yourself to become jaded and bitter, you'll begin meeting women who reognise these traits in you as well as the fact that you are a genuinely GOOD, kind person.
In those earlier years, maybe try to not concern yourself so much with women - focus on the rest of your life... your career, your hobbies, your friends, travelling, experiencing life..."
It sounds like, let the stupid girls fuck all the assholes while they are young and pretty, when they get old and fat you can pick up the leftovers and deal with all the emotional baggage they have acquired with the assholes and be satisfied by that!!!
Please tell me, that is not what you are saying?
Yes, because late twenties is "old and fat"...
I for one am hotter now than I was when I was 21 lol
We can also turn this around the other way - when women are younger they're stuck wading through a pool of immature dickbags... so it sucks for everyone at that age.
Ah so that is what you are saying -_- I'll pass...
late twenties is old for a women. it may not be fat but it is old
She is beyond reach, forget about her.
My boyfriend is sweet and thats how I like it.
I would never ever want an asshole
Yes, my boyfriend is also very sweet :)
I didn't really date much in my early twenties because it seemed so pointless.
"Try to open your eyes to see the other guys who maybe you don't notice immediately, who maybe aren't working up the nerve to approach you with some cheesy line." the chance of finding a Keeper that way is extremely high.
The problem is some people are born with those traits. I'm never gonna be like that, I could work on it all my life and still be a timid piece of shit.
The longer I live, the more I realise life is nothing but a genetic lottery, some people catch all the breaks, others live lives of misery.
Basically it's like this:
"No. Women Don't Like Assholes, BUT... they do"
ThisDudeHere must be a carpenter 'cause he really nailed it!
My only regret is I have but one thumbs up to give.
I'd rather not wait until I'm older to finally meet a girl who finally decided to stop dating jerks. I want someone who was smart enough not to date one in the first. Sometimes you can't help but end up being with one or two of them because some people do change for the worst, but so many of the jerks are beyond obvious to see that the woman would have to be a complete idiot not to see that.
Lol i knew that my boyfriend is an asshole from day one, but i'm even more of an asshole...
his hottnes was on point, tho 😂
OMG I laughed so hard. At least you have it honest. lol
Morale of the story.
It dosent matter how bad of a person you are, as long as you look good.
Thats it. Im dying alone. This has just killed all my respect for women.