Women are NOT Attracted to Jerks!

Women are NOT Attracted to Jerks!

Nearly every male has been pushed to ask this question at least once in their lives, I'll admit I have too (more than I'd like to think). "Is it because he's more muscular?" "The girl's probably shallow" "I can do better". However, it still baffles me how often men confuse shining qualities with douchebaggery. I'm here to tell you the answer to the very same question you, my fellow males, have been pondering about, just as I have for many years. Be warned, I'm not known for sugarcoating. So, why him?

Women are NOT Attracted to Jerks!

1. Confidence

Let's cut to the chase. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in a person. It doesn't matter whether you're a male or a female, confidence will always make you look twice. Confidence in one self, in your abilities, in the way you carry yourself and speak, that is fundamental towards the goal of getting into a person's heart.

Women are NOT Attracted to Jerks!

2. Being Clear About What You Want (in an appropriate manner)

Many a time, us men tend to beat around the bush. Either that, or we're too impulsive at first. This ranges from shying away from flirtatious comments to stroking her thigh (not cool). Women are humans themselves, and have their own likes and dislikes (not to mention boundaries). Being confident (I can't stress this enough) about what you want, and sticking steadfast to your goals, all the while making it crystal clear to the female you're pursuing about what your intentions are, tends to make women feel you're worth their time. No one likes a bore.

3. Treat Her Right

This goes without saying. Every person wants to be respected. No one likes being treated like trash. If you have any shred of self-respect, you want to be treated in a civil way. No exceptions.

Women are NOT Attracted to Jerks!

4. Backbone

Too often I've seen men bending over backwards to please the woman they like, and ending up becoming a laughing stock and thinking what went wrong. The fact that you were willing to put your self-respect and dignity on the line for a chance to sleep with your crush is what went wrong. Don't be shy to disagree or express yourself when you feel like someone's stepping your bounds. However, remember to do so in a classy manner, and not to go ape-sh**.

Women are NOT Attracted to Jerks!

Of course, this is not an exhaustive list. There are many more characteristics that don't fit in well when you're trying to pursue someone. And it almost never equates to you being a "nice guy". I'm not here to vouch for anyone, I'm only here to set the record straight, and make the lives of both men and women easier. Good luck!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The only women who like jerks is she has issues (abuse, daddy issues, security issues etc), desperate or she a jerk herself. Just saying.

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    • These type of women are generally attractive and will put out.

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    • Yes he can be called a hoe and he will be called a hoe because I said so. Lets just start categorizing these guys as hoes and let's see who the lonely ones will be. Why bother expecting nice behavior from a douchebag. The habe to want to correct their behavior on their own. If they want to be tramps and use women they feel are damaged, that says a lot about his character. You can tell them all you want not to be this way, but it won't help. Let them sink themselves into loneliness.

    • @WBOTB That's why i don't fuck around with these players, I don't take that crap but we need to call out the sexism in men and women. There tons of women who bash on other women when they shouldn't be talking because that could be them next.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You honestly sound like you have absolutely no experience with women. It sounds like you just read some article on some blog about women lol. It's just very... generic.

    2) "Being Clear About What You Want (in an appropriate manner)"

    No dude. Following guidelines is going to kill you. When you have to actually think about what you're saying is when things start to fall downhill. Attractive women are approached on a daily basis with that same mindset. The reason why I was able to get laid as much as I did when I was single was because I pushed her boundaries. I was willing to do what other guys were not willing to do. Playing by the rules is boring. Women like to be excited. Be bold. Stop playing by these 'rules'.

    3) "Treat Her Right"

    What's considered right is entirely up to your discretion. I'm getting the vibe that you're all about "respect" with women. Truth of the fact is that a lot of women like banter and drama. An argument is healthy once in a while. "Respecting" each other all the time is lack of passion. That's a friendship and that's boring in a relationship. Push her shit once in a while if she pisses you off or says something you don't like. Push her over the edge and see how she reacts. She'll often do the same. That's what keeps passion alive. My girlfriend have intense ego driven fights over absolute bullshit on the regular. That shit keeps things alive.

    If you can make a woman feel at all, then it equates to attraction. Whether those feelings are pissed off at you, sad because of you, or charmed because of you is irrelevant. If she wasn't attracted to you, then she wouldn't feel anything for you at all. Continue to make her feel nothing but charmed all the time and watch her drift away from you.

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    • I'm probably the biggest douche bag you could meet. Why is that I got sex on regular? Why is that I have the girlfriend? Being a douchebag can be a lot of fun. That doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I just don't take myself too seriously and I like to have fun.

      A lot of guys would be absolutely shocked as to the responses they could get from women if they just straight up said you're hot as fuck and I would want to take of my shirt, pin you again a wall, and fuck you as hard as I can till morning. Don't believe me?

      Check out my tinder take on my old account.
      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a27884-the-definitive-tinder-guide-for-the-sexually-inclined

      You should also read my take on this same topic.
      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a32109-how-to-put-your-girl-in-her-place-respect-yourself-first

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    • *woman with a single set of rules.
      As for your response to the 3rd point, I'll refer you to the "Backbone" section, number 4. I made it clear there that being a, as you put it, "yes man", is going to make you seem like a "wimp" (as another poster said on this take).
      This take is by no means a personal attack on people who are deemed "douchebags" in society. I believe I may have been a little lax in reiterating that. The sole purpose of this take was to show "nice guys" that qualities in "douchebags" are not actually douchbaggey. That these qualities (confidence, clarity in intentions) is what every normal human being should possess if they hope to be with the person they want. But for whatever reason, I'm seeing too many people taking this personally.
      Again, I'm not advocating anyone. I'm showing people the other side of the spectrum. I'm also bridging the gap between people who are portrayed as "douchebags" and self-proclaimed "nice guys".

    • Bro you've nailed it hard! I know I'm only 17, but I already know that your goal to guild up attraction with women is to make them "feel" something, whatever it may be. Spot on!

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What Girls Said 11

  • very well said, sir.

    women who date abusive men have olow self-esteem and feel that they deserve what he's dishing out. but most women like to be treated as equal partners and will choose a healthy, normal relationship any day.

    i've never understood men who get violent and abusive when faced with rejection. life's full of it, so we all need to wo/man up and make best friends with it because it's in it for the long haul.

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  • i'm in college and don't want or have time for lt relationships .
    so i do date jerks . ofc jerks lack qualities to sustain a relationship .
    they like to play the field . but that doesn't mean they aren't friendly warm and caring .
    we both know what we want . living in and for the moment . no strings attached .
    and that's fine with me . as long as he doesn't treat me bad .
    shallow? ok then . just being honest .

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    • @cth96190 why not? Most men and women don't start serious relationships till their late twenties. She's only in college.

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    • @SovereignessofVamps . @WBOTB
      thanks for the comments wo judgement . appreciate it much .

  • You understand women more than most of the male whiners on here.

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  • Love it! You should have a YouTube channel or do a Tedx talk!

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  • I think it's simple. Jerks are just more interesting, and they can pretend to care about her and be really nice, so she thinks he likes her a lot.

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  • I like this MyTake :)

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  • Yep :)

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  • I Hate jerks.

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  • I gotta be upfront there, i dated a jerk two years ago. He was my first boyfriend. I was attracted to him at first but lost my interest slowly due to lack of understanding and patience. The end result was that he cheated on me. He might have been ignorant, but he was never mean to me in any kind of way. I don't regret it, since it was an experience. Will i ever be with him again? absolutely not. I ended everything we had directly.

    We can never predict how our future will be, thus how the person we accept in our life will be.

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    • seems like you were the loser in that scenario even though you're trying to make it seem like you kicked him to the curb

    • @pavlove I was much younger back then. But aware on what was moral and immoral.
      We did talk about the situation. And then i said my goodbyes and he did the same.
      After what happend we never spoke or saw eachother. I don't consider myself being defeated.

  • I am soooooo attracted to jerks!

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    • says Anonymous lol

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    • When you are 30 . . . and alone. . . you will look back and say to yourself: "WTF was I thinking?"

    • @cth96190 bullshit because most serious relationships aren't pursued by men till they are in their late 20s and early 30s

  • right

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What Guys Said 29

  • Almost half a century of observing the mating behaviour of the human animal leads me to disagree in the strongest possible way with the position presented in this article.
    Between the ages of 15 and 30, the vast majority of females will reject decent young men and throw themselves at the most most worthless and often abusive POS bad boys and sociopaths whom they can find.
    About the age of 30, it dawns on most females that the struggling artist, or the drummer in the band who will make it big one day, or the bad boy who has a heart of gold that only she can see, is not a viable choice as a mate. They are simply not husband material.
    By age 30, the 'exciting' bad boy on the motorcycle is morphing into his singlet-wearing drunk father in the trailer park.
    At that point, the females begin to look in the direction of the sort of men who were not 'fun' or 'exciting' enough for them when they were 20.
    It has been said that a woman of 38 would kill to get the sort of man she rejected when she was 18.
    From a male point of view, it is not possible to observe young women throw themselves at one POS after another without forming an unflattering opinion of the female cognitive process.
    Then, having rejected these decent hard-working men for almost two decades, they expect these men to come running like thirsty dogs when these women snap their fingers.
    That may have been the case in the past, but the the response to that finger snapping is diminishing every year. Eventually, women will hear only crickets.
    This is what women have called the man drought.
    By that age, most men begin to think with the larger of their two heads.
    They look back at how the girls sidelined them in favour of POS who did not have a future.
    They look back at other behaviours that they observed.
    They look at work colleagues, relatives and friends who have been destroyed by divorce courts and impoverished for life by spousal and child support orders.
    They decide that the reward, if it could be called that, is not worth taking a 50 per cent risk of utter destruction by a court.
    The reward, if it could be called that, is to provide a white picket fence for a woman who would not have given him the time of day when she was 20 and will probably cheat on him with same Chad Thundercock, or Ivor Necktatto, who excited her so much when she was younger.
    A significant and increasing number of such good men go MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way).
    The message to the former carousel riders is: enjoy your cats.

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    • Any woman above 30 that's single is used goods and not fit/valuable for reproduction. mgtow. is the best strategy to defeat feminism's bad intentions being thrown at men.

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    • "It has been said that a woman of 38 would kill to get the sort of man she rejected when she was 18." that is the truth, many older women told me that

    • @spoonman2014 100% wrong for me. I've dated nice guys when I was younger but just because they were. Ice doesn't mean we were compatible for the long haul. You guys are way too quick to judge women just because they aren't married by a certain age.

  • Yeah OK... I can see this. I think the confidence thing is cool. The women who I have been the most confident around seem to be the ones most attracted to me. Yeah and being "too nice" and putting up with stuff that one shouldn't put up with isn't the way to be. I think they call it "being a weenie"... LOL

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  • Ok, yeah, we all know guys are into all those 4 points... but still doesn't mean there's no woman that like jerks lol Saying women are not attracted to jerks is like saying "men DON'T use women for sex", sure, some don't, but there's a big number that do xD

    The Take overall is nice, but the title sucks.

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    • One of the underlying lessons I hoped people would understand from this was the fact that you can't generalise a whole gender. But people seem to be taking this personally,

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    • I agree with that, that's why I said that some women do like jerks and others don't. Your title is actually generalizing one gender.

    • True, could've brushed up on the title a bit. I didn't pay it much heed after initially setting it.

  • Women are attracted to various guys, jerks, normal guys or nice guys.
    Doesn't really have to do "It's because I am too nice/He's a jerk.". It's the individuals preference.

    Let them have what they want. I'll look for that I get what I want in the meantime also.

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  • I disagree. This myTake does not reflect the reality of what is happening in the real world. Look at most of the hot women these days. Most of them are always holding hands with chavs and low lives covered in tattoos and men who like fighting or going to prison. Get your head out of your ass.

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  • This Take hardly reflects reality and contains a lot of generalizations.
    We see it in everyday life dude. Are you trying to deny that?

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    • I'm attracted to different types of men for different reasons.

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    • @WBOTB I wish it weren't a fact. Read the girls comment section and you'll see.

    • You mean the 12 girls in this comment section? If a guy is a jerk with me, I can't take him seriously. He may be hot to me, but not anything beyond that. There are also guys that are into bitches who play games, but I don't think that's the way to win all men over.

  • There are a fair amount of girls that sincerely do like douchebags, I mean who goes back out with someone after they cheated on them twice a girl with insecurity issues. I would never suggest that they are so much as a simple majority of girls at all, but they definitely have a presence; kinda comes with the whole daddy issues thing.

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  • The only thing women are attracted to is you telling them things they want to hear.
    Whether they want jerks, assholes, good guys or nerds.
    It's easy and it works, you know it too as you just demonstrated by telling 13 female upvoters what they wanted to hear ;)

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  • This take needs some serious help. First off the confidence part. Look at all these girls questions. Look at it. 85% of the girls are not confident, they are too emotional, they get scared and nervous to make a decent move. They over think stuff that don't matter. So me being rejected by these girls is a blessing.
    Being clear doesn't mean nothing. I've and plenty of other guys been clear to girls but all they do is accept, reject, or mess around. They you one thing but they mean another. I do agree treating her right gets you to 3rd base but jerks do get far with that cause his teasing, bantering ways will throw her off. The moment he shows his soft side it's a wrap. She's hooked. Then later they'll post IM CONFUSED DOES HE LIKE ME?

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    • Back bone? Let's get to that. Guys who show interest is a simp or is unattractive. So a guy has to play like he don't like her so he won't look desperate or anything. So what happen to the be yourself? if a guy wants to agree with her and it turns her off even if she knows she's in the wrong then that's what he can do. That's playing freakn games and women shit tests is only going make guys wanna cheat her faster.

  • There are women who are into assholes and overall abusive partners, but that being said, they don't represent all women and I avoid like the plague.

    Just because a guy has a girlfriend, date or gets laid doesn't inherently mean he's a dick or douchebag. That would imply every guy who gets a girl is one.

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  • I highly agree on this. You can't treat a girl with normal human courtesy and expect a girl to be sexually attracted.

    Listen to this guy, instead of flaming him, take in the free, straight knowledge he just spit out.

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  • I agree with this 100% I do also think it comes down to the lesser of the two evils, girls would you rather be with a "nice guy" who has 100 things wrong with his life and might chop you up and put you into a freezer for not doing something he likes or a guy who is a "jerk" but at least puts all his dirty laundry on the clothes line for you to see?

    Besides unless the girl is a total looney toon most girls will tell you their shitty relationships went to the tempo of "he was great in the beginning but then..." by then it was too late, he moved in and they have a joint back account. I think the ideal guy to find is like an overgrown dog who has no concept of personal space for a girl lol

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  • Of course girls are attracted to jerks. lolThey are the ones that tend to have confidence and sense of adventure that nice guys don't.

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  • The only one I have a problem with is #3. You're talking about the traits in bad boys that women find attractive, so why bring up treating her right?

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  • *looks back at all the questions he's seen regarding women being with jerks*

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  • The fact that I have always had a women is more proof that they love jerks

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  • yeah unless the guy is hot or she is attracted to jerks

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  • Women love jerks

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    • Women love jerks but hate when they knock down there confidence, self-esteem, when they don't care about them ( she knew from the get go that he didn't care.), he is not emotionally available, he cheats on her 2 times or more, but don't worry all he have to do is tone it down, act romantic and her life is like sun shine and rainbows.

  • im just gonna say everyone is different lol.

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  • Men try to build their own empire of dirt with lies

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  • Every single point don't mean shit if you look like a pregnant penguin with a bearded neck.

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    • Eh... I'm going to have to agree with you on that. We are all attracted to attractive people. I don't think it's shallow. It's just nature.

    • @WBOTB Exactly. A guy could have all of the raw confidence in the world but if he waddled up to you all sweaty, out of breath, and with his belly hanging out, it wouldn't matter. He goes to introduce himself and knocks you away with his belly...

      I think people are attracted to healthy traits as well. So I see lists like this as naive or feel good.

    • Well these characteristics are what women want in a ltr, but we still must be attracted to our partners.

  • It's a lot of stress to be like this...

    That means no Shy Insecure will ever get a girl...

    Yeah it's hard, and to be honest girls are very shallow these days... But there are real girls in this world... Who understand that guys are human and have feelings too.

    It's nice to meat a girl you can be yourself around and not having to worry about how I act, what I say, be someone I'm not.

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  • Women would be attracted to a serial killer as long he is either blessed with either good looks, money or status. Charles Manson is a murderer and has a goodlooking girlfriend and Adolf Hitler murdered millions of jews and still found a wife/woman. Even look at how many women the North Korean dictator can choose from.

    Then all that women say to me am too nice or good person or loyal. This is probably the reason why the planet is in the bad state its in.

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    • You ever think that perhaps that Charles Manson's girlfriend was a piece of shit herself? Hmmmm food thought 🤔

    • @WBOTB
      Lol my myTake notifications blew off the roof with your opinions.

  • Sorry but your wrong and even older women will call you out on your BS.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESYK8fCEHUQ

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  • You can spin it however you want, but it doesn't take a genius to see that most women are attracted to jerks. Study after study has shown it to be true. There is tons of information out there about how women are subconsciously attracted to men who exhibit features of what is labeled the "dark triad". They don't like to acknowledge it because of how it makes them look shallow, but a little observation of their behavior shows it's undeniably true.

    www.huffingtonpost.ca/.../...ic-men_n_9365428.html

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  • I agree. Women are not attracted to jerks. They are attracted to attractive guys. The problem is, guys who can get girls easily have no incentive to treat those girls well or stay faithful to one girl, much less do both.

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  • Most women either have abuse, daddy or security issues. So yes most women go for jerks. But if a nice guy "plays his hand right" he can get her too.

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  • Bowing down to women and worshipping the vagina is the last thing any man should do.

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  • BULL. SHIT.

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