Just because I'm attracted to your personality doesn't mean I'm attracted to you

[Anonymous]

So I tend to meet a lot of girls online; in fact my last ex I met online and dated for 7 months (and yes we met face to face). And I do run into those girls who I chat with for a while before I actually see their face. Some have been very cute and attractive and others....not so much. Thing is with some of the ones I don't find attractive they really do seem to understand how it works. I've been called shallow, a user, a player, and many other things. I can understand being upset, but I find it stupid to go from a nice person to a bitch in 1.5 seconds. And yes I know guys can do this too, but I can only speak from my experience which only consist of females. So that is why I've made this take. LET'S BEGIN!!!

Personality is only half of it
Congrats! You've caught my attention. Clearly there is something about you that I've found interesting enough that I actually wanted to talk and learn more. That's great, but is only the first step. I don't want some empty headed walking bag of flesh with a nice ass and perky breast. Admittly those are nice features, but mean nothing if there's nothing worth my time in her mind. So if you prove to be someone who I can have a nice conversation with that's great, but doesn't mean we're automatically together. I like for my girl to be attractive and have a mind. So sorry if you feel your time was wasted, but I won't date someone who I'm not physically attracted to.

Just like personality looks are only half the battle
Wow, I've found myself attracted to you physically. Great job, but the statement about personality stands true for looks as well. You looks as sexy as you want, but I'm not interested in we can't have a conversation. And it does have to be a complex one at that. Just us talking about what we want out of the would thoughts on TV shows, favorite food, animals.....just something to let me know you aren't a hollow husk.

I actually have a lot more to say, but I'm too lazy to keep talking. XD I think everyone gets what I'm saying though. So if you agree then thanks, if not then I don't really care. It's my life I have to live it who I feel it's best.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I agree very much with this. Of course it applies to both ends of the spectrum as you said, but I wish more people could recognize that. I feel people are just upset by rejection so they immediately make it "shallow" to reject somebody based on appearances.

[coconutelixir]

do you handle rejection well if you were on the receiving end?

[RJGraveyTrain]

Yes. I always have actually. Just recently I was rejected over the phone and I thanked him for being upfront.

[coconutelixir]

fair enough!

[QuestionMan]

This is so true. Just because I like a girl's personality doesn't mean I will sleep with her. At the same time I don't want a hot girl that is an empty vessel since relationships are far more than just sex.

[coconutelixir]

I agree with you that both looks and personality play a role in attraction and carry importance. You have every right to desire a fair degree of both and be attracted to only to whom you are attracted. I also don't mean to sound offensive by saying this, but just by looking at this post alone, I would be inclined to agree you're moreso on the shallow end but not for the reason you're thinking. You seem kinda... formulaic with how you deal with women and your word choice is a bit rough and blunt (unless you say it more nicely in real life?). It comes across as slightly arrogant which could be considered a shallow trait.

FYI, maybe you're not! But I do think rejection entitles people to feel hurt just as much as people are allowed to be suddenly disinterested. It's unfair to deny either side.

Also, why don't you make sure to webcam with the person before meeting them?

[myTake Owner]

I'm like that with everyone, but it probably shows more in the subject of dating.

[Poppykate]

'World', not 'would' Genius!.

[myTake Owner]

Oh it's a typo not that big of a deal.

[SIGguy]

That's why I gave up.