Having Preferences On Who You Date Isn't Shallow

[Anonymous]

Well,hello everyone.

It's me again.

Today's MyTake is strictly inspired by G@G and a conversation that I had with a friend of mine @tartaarsaus about one of my past takes.

Basically we were talking and commenting on how people literally attacked me with their rich slang vocabulary when I openly said what my turn offs and turn ons when it comes to guys are.

Some G@ggers here when they read that,called me 'shallow' and a 'bitch' for having having preferences to what kind of guys I would like to date.

Hmmmm.....

*Me when I read the extremely smart comments (hahaha no.) on my takes about what I like*

People here on G@G tend to always be like :

"You don't want to date someone much shorter than you? You are sooo shallow."

"You prefer blondes over red heads? S-H-A-L-L-O-W."

"You don't want someone that stinks? Gosh, what a bitch."

"You don't want to date both men and women? OMG, DEFINITION OF SHALLOWNESS!WE ARE ALL HUMANS."

"You don't want to date someone who might dies in 2 days? So. SHALLOW."

"You don't want to date someone that does drugs? OMG WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU."

"You don't want someone who rapes children? You are litterally too shallow for me to bare it."

HM....You do realize how ridiculous you sound...right?

Yeah, I think you all got the idea of dating wrong.

No correct that, I don't just "think" you got it all wrong...I'm 100% sure.

Based on what you are saying...We should like EVERY single person on the earth cause otherwise, we are shallow assholes and bitches?

So...None can like anything more than something else or basically prefer something when it comes to appearance or personality about the man or woman that HE/SHE DATES, KISS, SLEEP WITH because you consider than it's shallow, bitchy and evil.

HMMMM....-.-....

What if I prefer guys with darker hair? WHAT ABOUT IT?

DOES THAT MEAN I KILL PUPPIES ON MY FREE TIME?

I promised myself that I will keep my sanity while writing this take...So let's take some deep breaths.

You have to understand my dear friends that It isn't humanly possible to just like/be attracted to to every single person you see, and the harsh truth is that in order to be with someone we should at least be tiny bit attracted to him/her.

Does that mean that I will not give a chance to a blonde guy just because I prefer dark haired males?

NO.

YOUNG LEO DICAPRIO IS MY F*CKING CRUSH.

It means that I personally most of the times tend to be attracted more to guys with dark hair.

Got it?

But those of you who still support the opposite and believe that you can be attracted with everything that has a dick or a vagina...

Let me tell you something that you don't want to hear my friends.

That's both shallow and desperate.

OUCH.

Dating someone because he/she ONLY has a specific private part that you prefer WHEN HAVING SEX...?Are you serious?

SHAME ON YOU, YOU SHALLOW PERSON.

😘

And now to end this...
I hope you did understand that you can like whoever you want for whatever reason that you want (except if you are a gold-digger and you like them for their money,that's just disgusting), you can have an ideal type and you can be as much as specific as you want to the appearance or personality to the person that you want to date or have a relationship with.

It doesn't make you a different person.

I will leave the anonymous option of this take open because I want people to feel free to comment what's really on their minds, however I would like to see for once, all people to actually have a dare to comment with the name on and not just hide.

C'mon babydolls, I don't bite...

A lot.

-END.

AngelicSin

[hollowedout]

Just to play devil's advocate on this one, I wonder if people were reacting to fact that you were expressing your preferences in such a loud, public way. For example, no one would be upset if we were talking privately, and I said I only liked thin women. But if I walked into a room full of women of all shapes and sizes and shouted, "I only like thin chicks!" I might upset some people. Posting an opinion online is a bit like shouting it out to the world. Maybe rather than being upset that people were offended by your preferences, it's worth asking whether you could have expressed them more gently or whether you needed to express them at all.

[myTake Owner]

I mean you are kinda right, but still the fact that you like something it's your right.

[Dingsbums]

Well I don’t like the debate. I do think that there are different types of being attracted towards a person. And being purely attracted to someone just because the person is hot even tho he/she has an unattractive personality is kinda shallow. But it happens to me too and I wouldn’t blame anyone for it.

Red or blond hair is just a preference

Stuff like being shallow because you aren’t dating both genders doesn’t really make sense to me. The main purpose for all of this is reproduction and two males or females simply can’t reproduce

[myTake Owner]

yeah, I didn't talk about that that though.
Yeap.
true

[Letitgoogoo]

People on GaG will literally get angry at anyone for no reason that's probably why they called you shallow , not because they think you are but because they are so insecure they take it personally and get butthurt about not having the traits you find attractive lol.
I did the male celebs I find attractive take and suddenly I get a bunch of hate comments from people thinking I am shallow and wanting to date a celeb only😂.
Everyone should have the right to have their own standards and preferences. We can't control what or who we are attracted to.

[myTake Owner]

Lol true

[Armourdillo]

Notice how it's ONLY guys faults and girls are perfect and never to blame?

[Armourdillo]

Maybe all guys should just die

[myTake Owner]

@Armourdillo none ever said that

[Armourdillo]

then whats the solution?

[CubsterShura]

Having preference for tall man is one thing '6ft 2 or get out' is another thing. Having preference for blond is one thing 'blond hair or get out' is another thing. We all love good looks and wealth but it doesn't mean that he HAS to be a filthy rich handsome hunk. Having preference for one race is one thing and being convinced that Black=unattractive or you can't find a single Black person appealing is another thing.

Cause if you need exactly what you want, might as well order someone like that. Good luck. 😪

[myTake Owner]

tha's true

[OlderAndWiser]

I think that almost all of or preferences are hard wired in us and we cannot consciously change them even if we want to do so. There is one race to which I am not attracted. I never made a decision to have that preference. I prefer petite girls with a cute face, small to medium boobs, and a small butt. If I pretend to be attracted to a girl who is tall and has 38DD boobs, I am not doing her any favor by pretending.

All of these SJW's want to ignore that humans are animals and much of our behavior is driven by biology, not intellect. We are animals; deal with it!

If anyone wants to respond to argue with me. . . don't. I am not going to engage with any triggered liberal that has more feelings than a ruptured appendix. I do not want to hear your arguments and I will just block you.

[myTake Owner]

I like the way you think.

[Fitness-Fanatic]

Great take ! Well said. 👏I agree.

If we didn't have preferences, we'd just date everyone and anyone. I'm not changing my preferences just because someone can't deal with it.

Immature insecure people tend to accuse others of being shallow for having preferences.

[myTake Owner]

Aw thank you, yeap exactly.

[Fitness-Fanatic]

You're welcome ❤

[Anonymous]

Thank you for this!!! This^^^ is the truth—preach girl!

If you’re not attracted to a guy, you should not feel obligated to date him!! This is a problem time and time again with girls and young women... they feel like they don’t deserve someone they are attracted to... this is sometimes true with guys, but it is more common with girls. My mum ended up married to a guy (my bio dad) she hated because everyone told her to stop being shallow about his crooked teeth and huge mole on his face... and her family said that even if she broke up with him he would still be at all family gatherings because he was more their son than she was their daughter. I’m here to tell you—if you’re not attracted to them, it isn’t going to get better. Sure, the original reason you thought you didn’t care for them was “superficial” but, in the long run, if you felt that way, it was probably your gut feeling telling you something was wrong, not necessarily appearance. In my mums case, he only got worse and became abusive and left her for a 14 year old he met at a race track... after 7years of marriage.
Even if there is nothing wrong with a guy that you don’t feel any pull towards, those emotions will never be there if you didn’t like them in the first place.

[myTake Owner]

lol welcome, interesting story by the way

[Anonymous]

Lol nah you just sound like a bitch. It has nothing to do with your preferences though. Everyone has preferences and everyone knows everyone else has preferences. No one calls others shallow for having preferences. It’s all about how you express those preferences. Saying I want a guy with a 6 figure job is shallow saying I would like to date a guy who could provide for me and my children so I could worry less and live a comfortable life is a preference and fine. He has to be blonde is shallow. Saying I think blondes are the cutest is a preference and totally acceptable. I don’t date Asian guys=shallow. I don’t know I’ve just never found an Asian guy attractive before but I’d be open to it=a preference. It’s all about understanding that your preferences are just that preference and not necessities. Real normal people know that other people don’t exist to check of their fantasy boxes and it’s dumb and rude to exclude people on fairly arbitrary reasons. Both you and I know nobodies telling you to date a child rapist but maybe a guy with a criminal record isn’t automatically the worst person in the world. He could’ve taken a drug charge to save his little brother for all you know but SHALLOW people won’t even give him a chance to explain. No one gives a fuck about your preferences both you and Everyone else knows this. It’s all about how you choose to treat people. For example imagine how much better this very post would’ve been had I not started off by calling you a bitch and and carrying on an accusatory tone. I don’t know you I don’t know your life. What do I gain by assuming you have a bad personality. How does it help the conversation? It doesn’t but I did it to prove a point. We call people shallow because of how closed off they are to the experiences of others not their preferences. How the tone difference in statements like this regularly and repeatedly go over the heads of people often labeled shallow is mind boggling to me.

[myTake Owner]

So I guess you didn't read the last part of mytake huh?

[Opinion Owner]

No I did but I knew that starting of my mytake by calling you a bitch wouldn’t bode well with most people and many wouldn’t read to the bottom to understand that’s not how i actually feel about you. I didn’t want a bunch of people banning me for being rude just because they didn’t want to take the time to read. I understand your desire to see my name but I rarely ever post non anonymously because my MHO and Xper points are very high and I don’t like it overshadowing the words I write. If that’s not okay with you I apologize for being an inconvenience but I’m going to keep my name anonymous

[myTake Owner]

@HereIbe Are you mental?

[AbdKilani]

@HereIbe the hell is wrong with you?

[AbdKilani]

And Mr anon
You just did judge her based on nothing
She is denying everything that people said about her being shallow and explained how she would reject what's really extremely our of her preferences seems like you can't understand well

[Opinion Owner]

@AbdKilani maybe I misunderstood her. I’ll admit I make mistakes. I don’t think she’s a shallow person I thought I made that clear in my post but it may have been worded poorly. I can only do my best. Sometimes that’s just not good enough I guess.

[AbdKilani]

It is not that
But people here just keeps flipping fast
Just take it easy and try to understand 😊

[Opinion Owner]

@AbdKilani I didn’t flip out. I only called her a bitch to prove a point that I explained later in the post about tonality being the important factor. I also made the post because I’ve read her takes before and her tone is usually very harsh and defensive. I understand her premise and agree with it I was just trying to add my opinion of what the actual issue was to the conversation in a creative way. But again that may have been lost in its execution.

[AbdKilani]

@HereIbe you are just a tard

[HereIbe]

@AbdKilani, awwwwww, aren't you cute? I bet you have a lovely time still living with mommy.

[AbdKilani]

Yes Mr anon
I get it, I just find it never right to call anyone like that
Specially a minor

[AbdKilani]

@HereIbe I am cute
But at least not a creep

[HereIbe]

@AbdKilani, yup, you're still living with mommy.

[AbdKilani]

@HereIbe better than living and stalking people

[HereIbe]

@AbdKilani, wow, you're still living with mommy and see fit to judge anyone? My, oh, my, aren't you pathetic?

[AbdKilani]

@HereIbe I am at least I am gentleman and know how to talk good with others

[Opinion Owner]

@AbdKilani she’s 16 and probably grew up on the internet she’s definitely heard worse. I wish people didn’t baby me and treat me like a child when I was 16. I’m not going to pretend around a teenager and walk on eggshells to protect her. She’s practically an adult and can handle it. Maybe the law still calls her a minor but her brains definitely mature enough to handle a curse word.
@AngelicSin my apologies this has gotten out of hand and was never my intention.

[HereIbe]

@AbdKilani, you silly little goose, I KNOW the various levels of etiquette, and I USE them when it is appropriate, but when I'm dealing with someone unworthy of such, I give them what they have earned.

[Opinion Owner]

@HereIbe whoa I was cool with ignoring you acting a fool on here until you started talking about people’s worth. You crossed a line there buddy calm down and check yourself.

[AbdKilani]

Mr anon thanks
For understanding, but that's how I raised not to insult and not to judge

[AbdKilani]

@HereIbe we don't need anything from you
Thank you, it is either you say good words or none
We have enough toxicity in G@G

[HereIbe]

@AbdKilani, my, aren't you the little martinet?

[AbdKilani]

@HereIbe look whatever you want, it is not important
But you don't seem like to act decent as you call yourself that. Have some manners and respect please

[Opinion Owner]

@AbdKilani I understand you. I was raised that way too but I grew to understand words are just words and it’s not the words that matter but how we use them. The world isn’t black and white and I choose not to live as if it was. Insults hurt and should be used sparingly but I’m not going to hold myself to some unbreakable code. And that comes from my personal belief that there’s nothing honorable in having the inability to do wrong. I choose to live with my faults and wrong doings accepting that I’m imperfect and then I continue to do my best to cause as little harm as possible. How can you learn to forgive the cruelties of others if you can’t learn to forgive yourself.

[AbdKilani]

I see your point
But I choose to take things lightly and make respect always clear and there for others

[Opinion Owner]

@AbdKilani if that’s how you feel than you do that but when people like Donald Trump skirt by on your niceties make sure you’re prepared to endure the pain they give to you and your loved ones.

[AbdKilani]

Yeah everyone have a switch in the end that will deal when things go really bad 👍

[ATuairiscean]

That is my view totally and I don't understand the furore that greets statements like I tend to prefer …. - Everyone has tastes that is only human nature, the only person who loses out in a "I will date only …." are the person saying it, I generally prefer but shock horror I have dated blondes and liked them a lot - If you spend your life attacking people for their views and choices, you obviously have no mirrors in your home and also it can become very lonely in a glasshouse when you can't throw a stone. Great take and those sentiments needed to be expressed - Wise mature words for one so young

[myTake Owner]

Thank you very very much

[Frankenstein99]

Yes you're completely free to use whatever criteria when looking for a SO (don't understand why liking a guy for his money would be unacceptable though. Maybe you were raised poor and lived hand to mouth and the safety and security that he could provide is attractive to you.) But i will say this BEWARE. When i was younger i passed on a girl for the silliest of reasons. I'm still friends with her but she's married and has become an amazing woman. I didn't deserve her. But i haven't nor do i think i will ever meet a woman on her level again. I blew it and i have to accept it. let that be a warning to you. Don't make the same mistake. Give people a chance.

[myTake Owner]

Because it's bitchy and pathetic that's why.
I mean I don't know what all this has to do with my take, but ok?

[Frankenstein99]

Was i just supposed to just agree with you? Oh my bad! I thought when you said you wanted people to comment what was really on their mind i assumed you meant it. And my response was no less incoherent than your take. But i'll make it simple for you. You're right having preferences on who you date isn't shallow. But does it matter if it does? I mean the only thing you're doing is limiting your options.

[myTake Owner]

Uh I never said that I didn't appriciate your answer, but seriously the story of your life ot's pretty irrelevant with dating
Prefrences

[Frankenstein99]

Lol well i guess it's starting to become clear why people call you shallow. Have a nice day. :)

[SkipStop]

🇷🇺 Согласен. One thing that came to my mind is that there's a difference betwwen having a preference vs disliking something. But it can be hard to differentiate the two. Saying "I prefer black men over white" does not make a person racist unless they say "I don't like white men so I choose black". You need to be careful with your words or language. Some people will be chill and others might get triggered.

[myTake Owner]

I agree with that

[bubble_tea]

in my opinion it's shallow, because you judge someone by one or a few attributes that they have, but people are more complex than that.

That being said, you can be as shallow as you want. Who cares. You shouldn't start fucking people you don't find attractive just so others won't think you're shallow. It will hurt you much more in the long run than being called shallow.

Also, it's not a preference if you say "I don't want to date x and y" or "I won't date x and y". It's a requirement. Preference is what you've said about blonde guys.

[xTom98]

Nice Take,
personally I dont give a fuck when people say im shallow for my prefrences. I´ve been called out in public before because I declined a fat chick (not my type). Attraction is important and If you dont look for a person that meets your type then the relationship won't last long anyways.
Forcing attraction to not seem shallow is a shitty thing to do.

[myTake Owner]

thank youuu

[AuroraRoseat]

Agreed.
Not Dating Unattractive Men...To me it's called "Being Realistic" ↗

[myTake Owner]

*applause*

[Xylem1992]

well its complicated. consider height difference. a girl "much" taller than a guy is just not accepted in society so "generally" guys for girls shorter and thats not being shallow its just how it works.

But race, weight, hair color etc are a different story. we all have prefrences but to draw a red circle around certain people before you meet them before giving them a chance... sorry but that means you are shallow AF.

to imitate you: "hi my name is steve I've been wondering if..."
- "sorry stevie i only date black guys". shallow AF.

"hi can i get you a drink?"
*gives him a glance notices hair color is "wrong" * -"sorry you're just not my type"

A person could have tens of qualities you would find attractive which you wouldn't get to see if you dismissed them because say, theyre blond.

[Harsh_Ch]

@AngelicSin
Just be mindful that there are tons of hypocrites who cannot accept the fact that they may not be preferred by the kind of person they claim to be attracted to due to the different preferences of that person and just scream out "shallow"

These kind of people make up the majority of the people you are intending to address with this mytake and sadly it won't have an effect on them as it is basically a form of "partially feeling good about myself and make the other person feel bad as a revenge for rejecting me by not preferring me"
The majority of the people who criticize interracial couples are these kind of people

[HereIbe]

Shallow:
"His shirt had a wrinkle."
"The hair on his arms was too dark."
"He wasn't free for the first day I suggested because he already had work scheduled."
"He wore brown shoes."
Those are shallow. Those excuses were used by a woman who is still single and doesn't understand why.

[myTake Owner]

well, can't really say anything abou that

[HereIbe]

She gets as butthurt as all get-out when it's pointed out and goes to the same extreme that you did, that if her "preferences" aren't valid, then the ONLY possible alternative is to be utterly indiscriminate. That's when she gets on VERY thin ice with my wife, because it inevitably slides into her starting to trash-talk me because I'm 1) Not multimillionaire rich, 2) Not 25, 3) Not a season ticket holder for the Met, 4) etc. etc. etc.. If that isn't enough to piss off my wife, THEN she goes into how my wife "settled" when she married me.

Then they don't talk to each other for about a month.

[myTake Owner]

... eh?

[HereIbe]

It's just a funny, recurrent event. At least it's funny to me. Her friend weeps about the latest failed attempt at a relationship. It comes around to her friend's "standards", then it comes around to her wanting advice, that goes to my wife refusing to give advice (any more), then her friend starts to tick off how I would never have met her "standards", then she accuses my wife of having "settled". Then they get pissy. Then they don't talk for a month. Repeat. It's funny to watch.

Never turn into that woman. Keep healthy standards, but don't make them so high that no person would ever meet them.

[BlackMaleYou]

Physical preferences are a definition of shallow cos there is nothing deep about them. U are basically going by the cover of the book rather by the content.
That being said, there is nothing wrong with being shallow so long as it's not the sole reason u chose someone.
I don't care bout eye colors, hair colors, I like all races of women with nice/big butts and pretty faces etc. There has to be some element of lust (shallow) and love for a relationship to stand a chance. Be with someone that is physically attractive to u, has a great personality and most importantly has a good character.

[SngBirdy]

Thats the thing. It is indeed shallow, but people think thats something to be ashamed about

[Aynsof]

Every one has preferences that is not a big deal
But if for you to be interested in someone they have to fulfil physical preferences absolutely and you cannot and will not bend on that for someone with some good inner qualities then yes then we are in shallow territory

[myTake Owner]

YEAP.

[Lance1965]

Preferences can be shallow depending on what they are and how obsessed you are with them. I saw a post on here not long ago where someone said they wouldn't date someone if they were 2 inches shorter than their preference. I mean would you really reject someone over 2 inches in height?

[myTake Owner]

well that's different

[Logorithim]

It seems like some people take it personally when they don't fall into someone's dating preferences, and we all exclude some people, if not most, with our preferences. Never mind that sometimes we date outside our preferences.

[myTake Owner]

Lol noticed that already and of course it happens to date someone that is different from what we usually go for

[nerfetiti]

there is nothing wrong about being picky you know what you want in a man, settling for someone who does not make you happy or meet you standards is wasting both your time and you are the one who has to date this man, what ever anyone has to say doesn't matter you are the one whose opinion matters be as shallow as you want.

[Maik567]

Plenty of preferences are shallow, but that's just how humans are. I've never met a person who didn't have any shallow preferences so there's nothing wrong with that.

[myTake Owner]

... It isn't shallow.

[Maik567]

Lol having superficial preferences is shallow by definition. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Having preferences on a person's looks and personality is fine.

But if a woman will date only rich guys regardless of looks and personality, she is a whore, and some people will judge her for it.

I won't. But many will.

[myTake Owner]

I did sayd that already