PROS and CONS of being "light complexioned" in America

PROS and CONS of being

No Hard Limits

As a light complexioned person, a mix of the two most politically prominent races in the US, you don't have any hard limits on who will or won't accept you. Now, of course one could say white people don't have any limits, but I'd argue many individuals within minority groups have something even if it's something small against white men and women. For me, I always seem to escape that sort of hard judgement. Yeah, he's black but he's white enough looking and acting to be our friend. Yeah, he's a bit corny like a white boy, but he's still looks a little black. I may not always be welcomed, but I'm never outright rejected. I don't really understand what that's like since I'm not just one thing, but I have a sense for being the "other" even if it's never that pronounced. Girls of all races have been into me, and girls of all races have not been into me, but there's never been a race of girls that was almost completely blocked off to me.

No "Automatics"

There's nowhere a light complexioned person automatically belongs except I suppose with other light complexioned people (I'll go into more detail later.) It's difficult to accept that you will never have that automatic sense of belonging and community that the majority of other people get. You will always have to work a little bit to prove you are a part of this group. When it comes to dating, there's not really a type of girl who tend to go crazy for light complexioned guys. Darker girls tend to be attracted I've founded, but just as many find light complexioned men more feminine than dark. Again, there's a lot of girls who attracted to us, but none that primarily are...

Unlimited Options

In terms of style, a multi cultural person can go any direction he or she wants to and can also create a combination of different cultural styles to find something unique. You have such a random combination of traits that you can easily look like nothing they've ever seen before and it's very difficult for someone to put you into a box. You can look just as natural in a polo as a nike t shirt. It's a nice feeling, though, I'm curious to be identified with a certain style of clothing or set of interestings and what that would be like. Sure, it's an identify crafted for you and not one you crafted for yourself, but it's an identity nontheless.

Always Feel Alone

The irony of being light complexioned and being accepted by all races to an extent is that you're fully embraced by none. Cue violin music I know, but the toughest part is that other light complexioned people are just as lost and confused as you are. Instead of banding together, we tend to be more estranged to each other and instead seek out people who have a firm sense of racial identity. Sure, we all agree that it's great to have someone that looks like you for once in your life but this doesn't really translate into real relationships. I've dated over ten girls and had sex with over thirty and not one of them was multi cultural and that's not for lack of trying.


A light complexioned person can often feel paranoid that one part of them is being judged because we're carrying so many group's traits. We worry we're too ghetto for white people and too soft for black people or too confusing for latin or Asian people. A lot of theories can arise when you don't have a firm grasp on how you fit into the larger picture of dating. Also, because we are able to move through so many groups and really might be considered the most universally attractive people of all if you consider all people and not just the US, there's a sense of guilt as to why you deserve it. This often manifests in your mind creating notions that things are harder for you in terms of dating than they actually are. You create problems because you can't accept the fact that you have no problems. This can often make you difficult in relationships with people who don't understand what your deal is and why you aren't so happy to be you...

Your personality is forced to the front

One great thing, perhaps the best, is that because people can't quite identify you they can't really ascribe too much to your personality based on your looks and so your unique personality is pushed to the front. You aren't a type, you are just you. I've never felt like i was grouped with other light complexioned people the way some white people and black people complain about people assuming things about them before getting to know them. In a crowd, you stand out but of course standing out is not always the best thing...

So yeah, just some thoughts from one light complexioned, multi cultural person on what it's like. I'm sure the experiences drastically change based on the person, but hopefully this offers a little bit of insight to those interested.

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  • This is a good my take.. back when I had a picture of myself up here some 3 years ago I'm pretty light skinned for a black male I have a huge cultural mix but like it was said above you don't really get black females that are light skin that like you it's been mostly dark skin or white.

    But then that had me thinking the dark skin girl only wanted me for my skin and the light skin girl was hung up on color.. it ended up causing me to not date any other African Americans it bothers me because Tv shows music videos or whatever it's always a light skin female with a dark skin guy.

    Now what I learned about all this is other cultures I noticed are not as hung up on color

    • good points. sad but true

    • I thought black was black at the end of the day. Why divide ourselves? Whether you're on the lighter shade of black... or darker side, you still get black women interested.
      & only dark skin black women who dislike themselves would want you for your skin.
      Someone that loves themselves wouldn't care at all.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Well, reading that was a little different... after reading the first thing that popped in my head was "where in the world is this person from?" My complexion has never interfered with my social or dating life. Ignorant people may assume I'm a certain way due to my looks, but I have no problem correcting them about their mistake, and no this doesn't make me "ghetto" nor do I worry if someone feels that way towards me. I just hope when people, of all colors, read this article they know that this is the opinion of someone speaking from their own personal problems.

    • Great, now my world is gonna stop turning because you think I'm ugly. Dude, grow the fuck up, just like you said, they're your experiences. You have no idea who I am nor what my life experiences are, aside from what I decided to share.

    • Show All
    • @Opinion Owner - 👍👍👍. Thanks for bringing out the real myTake poster. You struck a nerve and you were just being open and honest. I read absolutely nothing offensive in your opinion about this post that warranted that juvenile and butt hurt response. You sound very emotionally mature and intelligent and well spoken. The type of person if I'd truly enjoy talking to and i wouldn't give a damn what you look like. I find it refreshing to converse with intelligent people that are so secure in who they are that what they are is seen as - yeah relevant, but not really. THANK YOU👍👍

    • Wooooaaah Im not mixed, but I have gotten this type of out of no where anger from someone who was on black issues and such. Where did this even come from? I am not trying to be snarky or cruel, but I would read up on the 'tragic mulatto complex'. I also believe people dont put out mass hatred or meannes unless theyve leaarned it somewhere. I would want you to explain a bit more because i seems with all of these priveleges there is a lot of pain to being light skin complexion. But it stems from colonialism and devauling of people by Eurocentric Europeans or white power implications. So I would be a little nicer to people, especially if they share being on the victim end of the African Genocide that we live through today. The mass murder, imprisonment, mass theft ( refusing to give slaves or black people land or money for work and stealing there labor after and pudhshing them into ghettos, and the centuries of abuse and slandering of character. And thats from white survival mechanisms.

  • Your part on guilt and paranoia resonates with me on a very deep level. I feel like I'm not white enough for a lot of white people and that I'm not black enough for a lot of black people. It's like I don't fit into those sub-cultures. And that's ok most of the time. But sometimes I feel like I would make friends easier if I knew the social cues and popular things in sub-cultures better.

    Another thing, when I was younger I felt like people easily mistook me for stuck up. In reality, I'm super reserved with people I don't know. And growing up in the south, there's this huge fixation on color and how lighter is better. And I got the hint more than once that people expected me to 1) be confident and talented and beautiful and 2) be stuck up because I was lighter and someone had all those traits because of my skin. It was impossible to win when I didn't want to win and didn't have those traits, haha. Sometimes I felt like a let down to people who expected those things out of me but also happy that I wasn't stuck up my own ass and spoiled. (which I've seen with so many young light girls)

    I do feel like there are hard limits though. To a lot of people, I look Indian. But I'm not. And I will never be Indian. That culture will never be mine. And I will never be any of those ethnicities people mistake me for. So, there are lines. Also, I will never be completely white or completely black. I can't change my DNA. And I can change my mannerisms and attitude, but that's fake.

    I wish guys of every ethnicity were dropping at my feet when I was single. I mean, I don't live in a diverse place to begin with, but it would be kinda cool.

  • nice take. This is my response to anyone who makes fun of the fact that i have no tan

  • What I really like about this, is that you acknowledge both the pros and cons of being lighter complexioned. And I really like how you hit the nail on the head about the unlimited options thing. This is great, bc you acknowlege both sides.

  • I have always thought people should try to be themselves rather than trying to fit in somewhere.
    I know it's easier said than done.
    But I've always seen people as people, and care very little about what mix they are.
    Even if they are mixed black i look at them no differently than a fully black person.

    • it's not just about that. it's about the way you're treated. it's not actually that much different from saying a "hot" person and an "ugly" person should be having the same experience socially as one another. it just doesn't take into account the different interactions that are out of each person's control. But your answer sounds like and politically correct so gold star, give yourself a pat on the back, people like you because you gave the most happy go lucky answer. Feel good now?

    • Show All
    • Yeah, because I see too many people aggresively attacking people on here who are brave enough to express a point of view just to make themselves look smart or PC or just to get upvotes and it makes me sick and so I do, I admit, go overboard in firing back. I want you people to be as authentic as the people who's takes you hop on and attack to pump up your self esteem. Then when someone gives it back to you you're super quick to be like it was just a criticism! it was just a criticism! If you can't take it maybe you should try being authentic and realizing that it takes people braver than you to write good, authentic takes in the first place.

    • No where did I attack you so I'm not understanding your response. You have a un-necessary self defense mechanism up and it's not making you look good at all. You're being rather ignorant.
      No one could possibly relate to your experience better than you, because it IS YOUR OWN.
      I am just giving my opinion in how I view people.
      I embrace and welcome them.
      Call that corny if you may... but my soul isn't filled with hate or judgment.
      That's not being "politically correct" that's called "my truth".

  • Im also light skinned but have a Spanish heritage. In my generation i feel as if kids are more judge mental now if you were light like me rather than if you were dark. Of course its because i was born an raised in bronx new york an a lot of the kids in my school are on the darker side when it comes to color. I feel as if you are darker you are more excepted in the borough i live in

  • i agree with this. you've described my everyday life.

  • This mytake only shows pictures of light skinned blacks

  • Oh... this take is all over the place.
    I'm very embarrassed as a biracial person.

  • You sound stressed out for having black blood.


What Guys Said 9

  • "light-complexioned"?
    Come on, man..

  • Is this more about being mixed black/white raced or being black and light skinned? You said you're black/white mixed but that's not necessarily the same as being light skinned black. I know a lot of both and just as you said I've witnessed black/whites mixed persons struggle and more so than light skinned blacks. Light skinned black guys seeming having less of a hard time than light skinned blank girls who have it seemingly really hard.

    Being mixed black/white, have you seen where being mixed black/white can be or is different in social encounters than being light skinned black? Where encounters can be or are the same? I'm genuinely curious because I like learning about people and their experiences as we as their ethnic and cultural backgrounds.

  • "Yeah, he's black but he's white enough looking and acting to be our friend. Yeah, he's a bit corny like a white boy, but he's still looks a little black."

    That is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my life.

    "There's nowhere a light complexioned person automatically belongs except I suppose with other light complexioned people"

    Light complexioned? Do you even know what that means. 😐

    • 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

  • get over it...

  • This take is further proof that black people are much more racist than white people in contemporary America. As Chris Rock said, "Who's more racist, white people or black people? Black people, because we hate black people, too!"

  • Great take. loved it

  • <3 mixed people

  • 1st and 2nd girl in the pics very hot.

  • I'm a light skinned black guy and I can say that the only time I felt a certain way with the in-between stuff was growing up in grade school. See the bad that comes with it is that it at times felt like an identity crisis. Should I hang with the black kids or the white kids? Especially since I had been around both races. Eventually I quit worrying about fitting in and learned to just love myself.

    The advantage? I guess I don't have a full advantage like I would if I was actually mixed, but like you I have been blocked off by girls of all races and not blocked off by girls of all races (for the most part).

    I agree that there isn't a certain group of females into light skinned guys. I've had dark skinned females after me but also girls of other skin colors. A good mix. Maybe I don't know, but I'd guess that that's how it is with all guys though. I believe all guys experience a good mix.

    Who's the 2nd female?