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Lmao I bet you Pissed a lot of nice guys off but the truth hurts
yea it looks like one guy has made it his duty to downvote the women who agree to this haha
Yep proved my point
... the way I used to see it, Women date assholes in the HOPES of changing them to nice. To feel like they have made some kind of change or are important, sadly, it rarely works out that way.
Nice guys who are nice to women tend to be nice to ALL women and thats tantamount to cheating and women don't like that. They want assholes who are only Nice to THEM. fucked up math but it makes sense...
Lol...
Unforutnately, dating has a natural tint to it... Women are more likely to spread their legs for the more attractive one?
hahaha that's definitely true for both sexes
I like this take, it's on point:)
But you should be yourself. If you are really a nice guy then be one. The right girls will love that about you.
Yes I completely I agree with you, the main thing I was trying to get across is to get these nice guys to realize that it's perfectly ok and flirt with women they are interested in. That's the biggest problem nice guys have, they show their interest in the wrong method which doesn't really "speak" to women because women think differently than men. Men like to be functional and accomplish tasks, that's how we show appreciation and that's what these nice guys try to do to show their interest. Women on the other hand show appreciation and interest through sharing feelings and talking things out. It's pretty basic sex psychology really. That's why the killer combination is a nice guy that's also not shy about flirting with women.
Your 4th reason is most likely number 1. Nice guys offer comfort and reward for free. They don't provide leadership and direction for a relationship, hence they get taken advantage of and eventually dumped. Pretty much the opposite of why girls go for douchebags. Except they don't know the limits and abuse their power.
I'll admit as a nice respectful guy this is true I didn't raised I was being taken advantage of till it was too late because I been raised to all ways be understood too girls bull shit because they been hurt in the past... but guest what? Your past dont excuse you walking all over me.
You're absolutely right on this. Women enjoy a confident and direct man. Men who pursue women by building a fake platonic relationship are always in for a shock when they reveal themselves to these women. You need to be clear with what you'd like from her. The trick to transitioning from friend to lover is that you should be clear about your intentions. If she rejects you, that's her choice. She does not have to go out with you just because you've given her your attention and friendship. Very well written article and I hope some of these guys out here pay attention!
too long... its cause nice guys r ugly/average and the good looking ones are more confident cause why wouldn't u be? ur good looking. They dont need to be nice to pull in girls... and the average/ugly guys think well i dont got the looks so ill be nice... maybe that will work?
Nope, doesn't matter even if you're decent looking, if you're the definition of a nice guy you'll still have trouble. The only reason I know this much about this is because I was a nice guy. Thankfully I saw the errors in my ways and fixed it. I look exactly the same, but now I'm getting so much more interest by the opposite sex because I actually know and understand what I'm doing. Being good looking definitely helps to create that first attraction, but once that initial "wow" phase is gone if that's all the guy has to offer, the girl won't stick around for much longer.
@AryaP - agreed
exactly being too nice means ur gonna turn into her bff lool gotta limit ur niceness
doesn't mean be a complete dick to her either lol
I'm such a pussy... I don't know or afraid to flirt with the opposite sex I think they might label me as creepy if they are not attracted to me :(... the only reason why I don't have girlfriend since birth
Just try being more comfortable with joking around with women. That's a good start.
Once you get comfortable with that. You can slip in little flirtatious comments. That's what I do. :)
Damn I more of a serious guy so I have difficulty making jokes but I working to be less serious and losses up a bit, can you give me an example of flirtatious comments? I only have a few friends that are girls but most of them are taken or I'm not attracted with
*lossen
It's really dificult to give you examples of flirtatious comments because it depends on the situation. I consider any compliments and then relating it to how it makes you like her more as flirting, also playful teasing, asking leading questions, and touching. It really depends on the situation and conversation you're having, if you're witty you'll be great at flirting. I guess I can use an example from yesterday when I was talking with the girl I'm seeing. She had a night out and I asked her how it went. She told me it was fun and she was a bit tipsy. I asked her if she was dancing, she said yes, I asked her what type, I hope it's twerking ;), she laughed and said only when I'm drunk and for a special guy, I said well I'm a special guy, when are you twerking for me? and I'll stop there bc then it gets personal haha, but I think you get the idea. Once you steer the convo to flirting it just builds on itself and gets more and more sexual.
Okay thanks for the input, I wonder what happened next and how the conversation going, lol
She told me when she was free and kept her promise, even though it wasn't twerking but something better 😉
Ohh okay, I just don't love myself, very frustrating and depressing, I know I shouldn't chase girls but I never ever experienced to be wanted by someone from the opposite sex :( I guess I'll accept the fact that relationship is not for me... I'm described as far more than a loser
Thank you. It's about time someone told these "nice guys" how they're not entitled to any woman they want just because they're friendly to her. You're not a nice guy if you're friendly to a woman for the purpose of persuading her she should be with you. We're all entitled to our own opinions, and if some one doesn't respect that, they're the asshole in the situation.
Finally someone understands!!! God forbid if I said it I'm a psycho.
Yea guys seem to always backlash at these sort of things, they're usually just too buthurt to see it or work on it which is a shame because those are the guys that need this type of advice the most
Awesome! You have hit the nail on the head! It took me like 50 years to learn this! LOL
Better late than never haha.
Truth. Im glad you learned this early. Nothing worst than a grown man having a nice guy complex. I wish i had this advice 10 years ago... but i had to learn the hard way.
Yea that's so true, it's pretty surprising how there's so many guys that don't grow out of it. I was lucky, yes lucky enough to be friend zoned by my best female friend during my undergrad. It really taught me a lot.
A question "nice guys" should ask themselves is "if I was a girl, would I date me?"
Yes!!! That's without a doubt one of the truist things out there.
I think this is becomming a moot point, guys are figuring out that relationships with women don't have much for them these days except eventual ragging and head games if they stay around too long... and if they get really hormonally stupid there's alimony
and child support etc.
I think the next generation will be fathered by guys who didn't give their real name...
Daaamn, boy! :O
Couldn't have said it better. :)
I want to add that if I can't imagine having sex with you... I'm probably not going to think about you romantically.
So even if you're flirting. If it's just friendly banter and there's absolutely no dirty humor involved at all. NOT going to know you're interested.
Actually, I just went on a "date" recently (I say "date" because I thought we were hanging out as friends to play guitar together. lol!) and had absolutely no clue that he might've been interested in me besides him being quite stiff to talk to at moments and insisting on buying my coffee. Otherwise, I was doing all the complimenting and joking and asking questions.
Then he sent me a text telling me I was beautiful and he was smitten with me. Uh... really? Because I could've sworn that guy was not out with me moments ago.
Hahahaha that almost sounds like my very first date (except it was considered a date), I was so nervous and hardly showed interest towards her, I was too nervous to even realize how terrible the date was going then by the end of it I texted her something similar. It's still a little embarrassing now that I think back, but it was a good learning experience. I hope the guy for his own sake sees what he did wrong. Best of luck finding a good guy!
A guy who gets its.
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/.../latest
And why aren't men interested in nice women?
I like a nice man, but he must like working out (at the gym, outside, at home, anywhere), because that's my passion. I want a man who likes working out as I do. We'd be able to talk about workouts, and we'd know each other's worlds.
It can be very similar to the reasons above as in nice guys. Are you receptive to men's advances? Do you make guys feel appreciated when they show interest or do something for you? I don't know what it's like for women, but I can tell you that the best way to get my interest is by being sweet, down to earth, funny, and show some signs of interest (like giving me a compliment, looking excited to see me, asking things about me, trying to find my interests). If you do that to a guy, he will notice. Once he notices, see how he behaves, at this point he should try and take over and make advances, and you should let him. However, it is a balancing act. Show too much interest and you'll push him away, too little and he won't think you're interested. Give him something, then take something small away. It drives us men crazy when we know you're into us, but don't know exactly how much. Again though, I can't say I know too much on how to get a guy's attention since I've never felt the need haha
Well, I'm friendly and like to make friends, even if just friends. But I've never just go up to a guy and start being exceptionally friendly with a male stranger, because of the following reasons:
(1) I want to say it's my personality.
(2) I'm not confident. What if the guys I'm into don't like me?
(3) I assume that no guy is single past 18 years old. Nobody's single in college, at least not my type. I like nice guys, and nice guys can't be single, because girls took them.
(4) I don't want guys to think that I'm an "easy" girl, flirting with different guys, sweet talk lots of guys, which is not my style.
Men never approached me. Other girls are better.
Well... some did, but they were not my type. Not my definition of "nice guys." For example, saying insincere flattery, like taking me to ride hot balloon, buying a gym for me, JUST after meeting at the first time, but I never heard from him after those claims. (I didn't reject. I just acknowledged what he said, with neutral responses.)
You just listed all the reasons men are probably not going up to you. Lol!
Honestly, you don't sound very friendly. Guys LIKE confident girls that are "easy" to talk to. Doesn't make you "easy" for talking to a lot of people. It makes you likable, fun and easy-going.
This is awesome. I couldn't have said it better myself.
Thanks!
Women are just stupid. That's why they end up pregnant and heartbroken all the time. You just have to smile a lot and be charming and women think your great. A guy I grew up with is a triple murderer. Absolute psychopath who'd murder you in the blink of an eye. Guess what, he gets the woman falling over their feet to get at him. Well they did before he went to jail
I agree with mostly everything i don't know why the nice guys are afraid to approach and talk and flirt but i will ya working out will boost your confidence and self esteem however I've seen big guy's with reall y attractive girl's so working out is just a plus.