Things most guys wish girls knew about dating

Anonymous

Ladies, please note that your man 100% loves you but there are a few things that girls are universally naive(or know but won't admit) that us men hate in dating.

Guy friends

Ohh yeah I went there let's start with the big, no HUGE one. We KNOW for a FACT that 90% of your guy friends want to have sex with you. Ask any guy if he notices the hints that guy friends want to get in his girls pants, and most will say yes. My girlfriend for example, this guy came over from literally 2 hours away just to bring her cigarrettes and I was like " I don't like him" she said" oh all you men are just paranoid!" I answered :"Am I really? just ask him or you guy friends or even random guys what they think"

You bet your ass most guys admited to this, the cigarrette guy incliuded he blatantly answered her( she had me listening on 3 way call) he said" Ohh I only though you called me because you wanted me to be the side guy!" That was the end of their friendship.

Things most guys wish girls knew about dating

Disclaimer: I wouldn't say ALL your guy friends want to have sex with you but I'd put my penis on the cutter that most would.(guys feel free to leave your thoughs)

Not all of us are the same

I know this one is very hard for some ladies who have been cheated, abused and just plain played by quite a few dicks. I understand that much but never EVER compare your new boyfriend to your exe's or carry the mistrust into the relationship with him. This is very hard but If you can't trust men, you shouldn't be dating for now. Good guys are left and right but if you meet one, and are not ready for someone good yet you're not going to be able to notice(or believe) the great things that this man can bring into your life!

We and or female friends know you don't trust them, and that is okay too

On the flip side of number one. We know you dislike or maybe even hate our female friends just like we do your guy friends but any man that cares for you will do his best to keep those friendships very casual and no "going out as friends" cause trust me that is a dangerous game for any man or woman. If you see your man going out with a friend on multiple ocassions very frequently I think you should start checking up on this "friend"

Note: Sorry guys gotta be fair with the girls too!

DON'T tell anyone about the problems you guys have!

Keep your relationship private without keeping your partner a secret. You tell your friend guy for instance you are having issues. If he does like you he will start to give you advice to leave the guy or to antagonize your man, on the flip side if it's a female friend. You know how some women are to each other, common term is "frenemies" I think. She might want your man and if she hears trouble is amist she might make her move on his weakest moment.

Disclaimer: I know not all friends are bad I'm just saying it could happen.

Things most guys wish girls knew about dating
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Most Helpful Guy

  • DarkHumorRUs
    I've seen a study where they had multiple pairs of girl and guy friends do random things and answer questionnaires. 90% if the guys answered that they'd date the girl they came with.

    So girls, if a guy bothers to spend time with you he likes you, and if not he probably has before or will eventually...

    Also that makes it kinda "unfair" for both parties in a relationship regarding having friends of the opposite gender. Any female friends the guy has he likes. And any guy friends the girl has like her.
    But maybe once you're in a relationship you suddenly don't like your female friends anymore? hmmmm
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sara413
    I'd be interested to know the age of the person who wrote this... maybe if you're in your early twenties or teens it's true about the opposite gender friends, but once you're in your late twenties/early thirties it's pretty normal to have a close knit group of friends made up of both genders and most of the time, your opposite gender friends are not trying to sleep with you or vice versa. Grown ups don't waste their time chasing someone who's uninterested and they certainly don't hang around pretending to be friends for months or years on end.
    Is this still revelant?
    • He's not talking about old friends, he's talking about new encounters. If a guy you just met said he wanted to be friends with you that's bullshit 95% of the time, whether you're 18, 28, 38 etc...

    • rjroy3

      Although I would agree that it's possible I've asked different guys of they would have sex with their female friends if she was single and given the opportunity. Grand majority of the time it's a yes.
      The only thing that tends to dictate whether they would or would not at this time is circumstances.
      Some people just respect relationships too much and would never want to be the cause of a breakup. Some people are in relationships themselves, bit would never cheat. Most people have good character so they would do their best to avoid the temptation.

      But... that attraction is still there and given the right timing and circumstances they would pounce. That's what the poster is talking about for the most part.

    • Sara413

      @imnotcrearive I don't think it is unusual at this age to meet new people of the opposite sex and become actual friends. For example, over the past few years my soccer team has added new players and has merged with another team. I've become platonic friends with most of those guys.

      Obviously, if you meet someone at a bar and they say they wanna be your friend that's a whole different story, but people my age don't really go out to bars and chat up strangers as much as younger people do, but even when we do we generally are wise to the fact that they don't intend to be friends.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1621
  • lumos
    "Guys don't get jealous because we don't trust you, we get jealous because we know what the other guy is trying to do"

    Is such a lame fucking cop out. What are you afraid of? That they'll try to kiss her? Fun fact: if she's a good girlfriend she will not kiss them back, worst case scenario she'll be shocked and stand still for a few seconds not knowing what to do, but she will eventually get the guy to back off in order to leave the situation. And in that case it wasn't her fault. She didn't control the situation. She didn't want to be kissed. So why would it matter that the guy is trying to pursue her if you fully trust her? If you trust her, you'll know that she'll do her best to reject the guy and leave the situation. So WHY in the world would you get JEALOUS of someone she doesn't even have any interest in, someone she will reject, someone she would never leave for you, if you TRULY, FULLY TRUST HER?
    Simple, because you don't actually trust her. And instead of telling her you don't trust her, you try to put the blame on the guy who pursues her. Don't use the guy as a scapegoat for your insecurities. If you fully trust your partner then you have absolutely NO reason to worry about guys hitting on her. None whatsoever.
    • lumos

      Also, I have plenty of guy friends who I have no intention to sleep with, and they know this. Why would they even be friends with me for years? Why "waste" all that time on someone you don't care about and only want to have sex with? I HIGHLY doubt guys are really that fucking desperate and simple-minded. You don't really have a very positive view of your gender, which is sad.

    • lumos

      someone she would never leave you for*

    • ThatGuy98

      Oh, so you just "happen" to get kissed? Last time I checked you have to be pretty freaking close to each other (physically) to be able to kiss, so don't try to talk shit about it coming as a surprise. xD

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  • OpenClose
    "We KNOW for a FACT that 90% of your guy friends want to have sex with you."

    Sounds more like frat-type guys, where most of their friends are guys, so when a girl walks in it's a rarity and they all bite each other's heads off for her affections.

    When I was in school, about 60% of my friends were girls. In a school that was 70% girls, so even then I was lacking. Hell, I lived with a lesbian couple and made friends with a lot of their friends. My guy friends weren't constantly trying to sleep with my girl friends, or "be nice and hope they come around" or any of that shit.

    There were a few relationships and interests that happened now and again, but for the most part, if I was interested in a friend of theirs, we would date, test the waters, and if it didn't work out we'd just go back to friends.

    When I would go hang out with groups where it was just bros who were friends, and their girlfriends just tagging along, it was like chimps in captivity. In fact, that is arguably accurate because of how hierarchical and competitive chimps are when they are in captivity and grouped up as males only separate from the females.
    Homophobia was outrageously and hilariously apparent. I mean hilariously, because they would shit themselves when I would taunt them by flirting as though I'm interested. An ego so fragile they are destroyed when a guy compliments them. Or you would be in a group of these dudes, and one guy would bring in his girlfriend. She would basically make some food, make a sports comment, and then leave. All the guys would be like like "dayummm, son. She so fine." talking about how much they would like to "bang every hole she has."

    Yeah, that was not my group of friends by any stretch of the imagination. More girls than guys, some petty drama now and again, but I never really worried about a GF's guy friends, because I was usually friends with them, too. Everyone was friends first before they dated, so if we liked each other we would just say so. We treated each other like, I don't know, FRIENDS.
    • OpenClose

      I also agree with pretty-gurl-12. But she has me blocked because she said she was an idiot as a kid, and I said she wasn't, but that growing up is a struggle.

  • Hal2002
    Good take on the friend thing and dating.

    It is amazing how women think they know men when they really don't, we men let each other know when we are competing against each other. One clue women always seem to miss, is when her guy friend hangs around when she is with the boy friend.

    The being compared to an ex, is one way to have me ending a date very fast. I don't compare the present to the past, I am getting to know you and find out who you are inside.

    When someone is comparing you to an ex a lot, take that as a sign that person is not over the ex. I have observed that most women with baggage from relationships, are the women that don't give themselves time to get over the ex and reconnect with themselves before starting another relationship.

    Females don't like other females, it does not matter how long you have been friends with a woman. The girlfriend is not going to like her, and nothing you say will convince her that you are just friends.

    Women that tell their intimate secrets to their friends, I have overheard women telling their bedroom business to friends. They tell their friends everything their guy likes, and most important they tell all the things they are not doing for their guy. By the time they are finished, they do not seem to realize that they have just told their friends everything they need to know to get into their guys pants.
  • Prettygurl12
    Okay quick question...

    So. Point 1: Guy friends.

    If I grant you the idea that our guy friends want to sleep with us... what about your girl friends?

    Can the same be said about you? Do you then also want to sleep with them? Why should you have female friends if you want to stick your dick in them and then deny us male friends?
    • Spotme

      That doesn't really apply to this because then it's about trust and respect seeing as it is the guy who is in a relationship. As the picture above says:

      "Guys don't get jealous because we don't trust you, we get jealous because we know what the other guy is trying to do"

      Being attracted to the opposite sex is fine as long as you don't act on it. It's not about the ones who are in the relationship. It's about the intentions of the people around you. If his female friends are interested in him, then it's the same.

    • I see no difference. If guys are friends with girls they want to sleep with then he wants to sleep with his female friends. End of story.

    • Spotme

      No, there is a difference. You don't have to care about it, but there is one and I want you to see it.

      The difference is everyone's intentions.

      Example: A guy and a girl is in a relationship. They're both loyal, they both trust and love each other. The guy has 100 female friends and he wants to sleep with 90 of them. So why doesn't he try to do it? Because he already has someone he loves and trusts and is loyal to. He is not trying to sleep with them, flirting with them or treating any differently than the other 10 he doesn't want to sleep with.

      The same things applies to the girl except for some differences. She has 100 male friends, but she only wants to sleep with 30 of them (30 for the sake of argument, no idea what the actual number would be, but I'm pretty sure it's significantly lower than the guy's). Anyway the point is that girls are pickier about who they want to sleep with. She doesn't act on it either because she already has someone she loves and trusts and is loyal to.

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  • Explore2016
    So true. The amount of guys I thought were my friends but actually were just trying to get into my pants. One so called guy friend got very aggressive and threatening when I told him I didn't like him like that and I had a boyfriend. Thankfully my older brother was at the same party and kicked the shit out of him.
  • MysteriousFlower
    No problem. Seriously- I wouldn't want to have a ton of guys friends and I already keep my life fairly private. As for my dating life I am going to let things get a little more serious, and then I will just state the basics; Name, Occupation and how we met. I'm also aware guys are different, besides they have same urges but their kindness meter will be Evil or Nice.
  • Angel7777777
    That picture caption makes absoloutly no sense.

    Obviously you don't trust us... it doesn't matter how the other guy feels or what he wants to do, you should trust that WE would never act on it. It's not like if the guy wants to sleep with us that automatically means it's going to happen.

    This post is stupid.
    • Thats not what he meant. What he was getting at was that many relationships have been damaged or ended by a woman's guy "friend" who wants her and will play the good guy giving bad advice interfering in the relationship and twisting her thoughts all the while hoping to break them up so he can pounce on weak moment. The boyfriend will usually clearly tell her that he doesn't trust her guy friend but she will ignore it as jealousy. The classic maneuver is to come by after they have had a fight with a bottle of wine as a "thoughtful" gesture hoping she will be vulnerable enough to get her into the sack. These types of guys are single minded and always on mission. My girl had a few guy friends that were trying this despite my warnings, it wasn't jealously or lack of trust of her on my part but instinct. One of they guys did try it after we had a fight and another cornered her at work and tried it on when she said no he tried to rape her only her sister heard her scream and hit him

    • ... with a shovel. If your guy instinctively tells you there's something off about a guy friend and that he doesn't trust him then its worth trusting your guy.

    • abacaxi84

      @jaydogs1990 is right, if the guy friend is single and investing a lot in being a woman's *friend* the he's most likely angling for a weak moment and hoping they break up. I have had enough of this bullshit happening time and time again with supposed male *friends*, so the only male friends I keep these days are men who are already in a relationship, or guys who are also friends with my boyfriend. Single guys who want to hang out with women one on one nearly always have an ulterior motive.

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  • cinderelli
    nice mytake.. but if he he thinks 90% of my guy friends want to sleep with me.. then he better leave his 90% of girl friends too..
    and yeah,, we should only keep few opposite gender friends.. the close one who we can trust. :)
  • Jackblue
    It seems like you think people in relationships ought not to have any friends. Yes a girl's guy friends might think about having sex with her, but that doesn't mean she would ever do it. Also, trying to isolate a person is the first sign of an abuser.
  • rjroy3
    I agree with this 95% lol.
    The last point of don't tell anyone your problems, I agree you should never complain to the opposite sex about your relationship problems and that for the most part not mention problems to the same sex friends. Unless it's someone that has been time tested. Life long best friend who you can trust and you're not going to them to bitch about your issues, but to bounce ideas off of them. Sometimes getting some council (from a trustworthy source) is helpful
  • 9mfeo
    So what you're saying is, I have to drop my two best friends (that I have known since kindergarten) to be in a relationship? Uh, no thanks.
    • Spotme

      Have you at some point ever been intimate with any of them?

    • 9mfeo

      @Spotme no! One doesn't even like girls!

    • Spotme

      Then no guy in their right mind would tell you to drop those friends.

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  • Deft_maiden
    Same can be said about " female friends" . We always know what a girl is really up to.
    Good take 👍🏻
  • tyber1
    I agree with the idea that it's not necessarily your partner that you distrust, but the other person. Nobody is perfect and people can be manipulated into doing things they wouldn't normally do. Sad but true.
  • Cjanes
    I agree with this take, you don't need to drop your male/ female friends just be aware what appropriate and what not. Going to lunch have fun, late night movies at their apartment not so much.
  • Frost_Byt3
    *Round of applause* 👏👏👏 I agree with all of these--especially teh first one. I wish more women would realize this.
  • Other_Tommy_Wiseau
    that 1st thing is bullshit. ok, i might be in the 10%, but i don't wanna bone most of my girl friends. some of them are extremely attractive, but i'm not attracted to the vast majority of my girl friends, let alone the non-attractive ones. i feel like that's a built in excuse that a lot of people use to either try and date/hook-up with friends with no repercussions and/or a reason to square any friend the person of the opposite sex that their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife has.

    that leads straight into #3. i just see it as more friends. unless the guys and/or girls she's friends with is annoying or trying to fuck her, i really don't care who she's friends with. she had friends before i knew her so why should she stop having guy friends all together? as much as i want her to love me, i shouldn't be the be all end all of her life, nor should she expect me to think that my friends who i've known since pre school in some cases, i should never talk to again.
    • You may be one of the good guys and not want to sleep with your girl friends... but I'm sure the majority of someone's girlfriends guy friends given the chance would have sex with her in an instant, just how most guys are.

  • tailgate
    I agree on the jealous guys being suspicious of the other guys rather than their girlfriends.
  • bomba78
    Good take. I can confirm all of it. 9 out of 10 guy friends will try to get in your pants eventually (or t least won't say no if you happen to make a move)

    and no, I don't trust women who are not my friends with my man. There are only a few exeptions, my bitch radar is very accurate.
    However, I do trust my close girlfriends completely. I don't consider many people my close friends, and it takes a while until someone has earned my trust. So far I haven't been betrayed (luckily)

    And in general it is always wise to not disclose every dirty detail of a relationship. Issues have to be taken care of at home and not online or talking shit behind his/her back. It is also wise to not disclose all the good stuff either. It's best to keep information to a minimum. Envy is a very powerful energy and somehow it does affect you.
    • "(or at least won't say no if you happen to make a move)"

      I think this is the most common situation. My best friends are girls, I'm not TRYING to get into their pants or anything, but if they offered...

  • Spotme
    Whenever a girl says "No, he's just my friend. He's not interested in me" I take a breath and hold my rage back.
  • imnotcrearive
    Good take, just to add a few things though. Firstly you should've mentioned you're talking about new guy friends and new girlfriends. When you have a history of friendship with someone it's unlikely they'll try and sleep with you after a year or 5 or 10 of knowing you. Second is to touch on your "were not all the same" point; you really should've emphasized to guys that if a girl is damaged or has trust issues or compares you to past relationships, it's not your responsibility as a guy to try and fix that. Those are her own issues and if she can't get past them don't get in a relationship with her because it will more than likely end up being toxic.
  • RedThread
    This is insecure bullshit..
    That's all I have to say about that.
  • Nicolás25
    this does not ring true with me my girlfriend has guy friends and i have girl friends and we allow eachother to go hang out with each we both trust eachother even if i do see that her guy friend has other interests in her i don't make her choose me over her friends or anything rash like that i just trust that even if the guy made a move she would say no call me crazy for being so trusting but she does the same with me and my girl friends i personally wouldn't be able to be with someone who is so jealous to not let me have female firends or anyone who is so insecure to let me hang out with someone of the opposite sex for a couple hours
    • A couple of hours? A lot can happen in a couple of hours just sayin lol.

    • Nicolás25

      Im not thinking about what can happen in a couple of hours because I'm not jealous or insecure and I trust she will be loyal @Ferretman21

    • I'm not any of those things either, @Nicolas25. I just know the reality of things lol.

  • Kuraj
    Except it is the girl who has any control over it, so yeah we 100% don't trust women.
  • LittleSally
    Nice take!

    Agree on all of those. =)
  • jaydogs1990
    The last part is so true. Good take man you nailed it.
  • ThisDudeHere
    Short and to the point - fine take, dude. :)
  • lolababe12
    Interesting take on the subject matter
  • Zorax
    An excellent Take indeed :)
  • Yeahno12
    Great take!
  • Ashely_Princess
    Nice MyTake! :D
  • Blueeyes81
    Good take.
  • Anonymous
    People who disagree with this are disloyal or idealistic people who want to fuck people around or keep their head in the clouds.
  • Anonymous
    Girls shouldn't have guy friends anyways--they should be acquaintances or something. That would solve all the problems.
    • Fucking sexist.
      What about guys?
      What about their female friends?
      Why should we ditch all our male friends for one guy?
      You're an idiot, sir.

    • Anonymous

      @buttheadkakakak Because if you love that guy, you would perhaps do anything for them.

    • Anonymous

      And whatever you say--I really could care less what you think of me. Call me sexist. . . whatever, I pay no heed to such things. I was actually trying to be sardonic, but you know what--that could actually fix myriad issues. (If you think about it).

  • Anonymous
    I agree with the last part as I try to avoid mentioning relationships. I may well like her but I'm not going to say what I'd do or how I disagree with what their partner did.
  • Anonymous
    Agree with the "were not all the same" bit. Having been used as a rebound, I was irritated by being compared to the girl's on and off ex as well as being used to make him jealous. Lesson learned, if a girl or guy complains about their ex, they are NOT over them.
  • Anonymous
    I definitely agree with the last point. One of my ex's friends befriended me, but we were just casual friends, and he would tell me things about my ex to make me feel insecure about the relationship. I regret listening to him, because the day after the break-up, he snapped at me for mentioning my ex and started hitting on me.

    I've learned from my mistakes and hoping my ex will forgive me one day and we can try again, because he was special.
  • Anonymous
    Yeah, pretty much. Very well done take bro.
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