Why Men are Expected to Pay for Dates

[IamNuts]

Why do women expect men to pay for dates?

Obviously not all women expect it, but there are a lot of women who do. Even if they don't most men will pay for it regardless. I personally think it's more of a traditional ritual than anything, passed on from generation to generation. Before the age of feminism and women's liberation, women weren't really allowed to work outside of their homes, at least not for a wage and therefore did not have any money to spend of their own - men were expected to be the providers. So when it came to courting women, men were obligated to pay for everything since he had a job and means to money that she didn't. As time passed on and more women started joining the workforce, paying for dates became some sort of a "manly" thing to do, not manly as in macho or obligated to do so but more in the sense that it is only something men are supposed to do like peeing standing up (best example I could come up with since I couldn't think of anything else considering women can do pretty much everything men can nowadays.) So in a sense it showed weakness and lack of economic sense if the man didn't pay for the date.

Of course there are other reasons as well like culture and chivalry. Some women come from cultures where the traditional roles are still in play. Many men still hold 'traditional values' and if they are not capable of 'providing', they might believe they are less of a man.
Many people also feel they have a sense of responsibility to pay if they're the ones who did the asking.

Then there is the thing about nurture and nature.
Suppose you just found a dollar on the ground, would you just ignore it and walk away? Most people wouldn't. Similarly, if you had the choice between paying or not paying, which would you choose? (If you insist on paying, good for you. If not, that's okay it's normal. The sad truth is that all human beings are influenced by greed otherwise the concept of money wouldn't exist.)
Women are given these choices way too often and being raised in this kind of environment results in many of them being spoiled. Though we fight for equal opportunities and most of them are beginning to get it, but when given the opportunity for them to haggle for more it's only human nature for them to do so.

So basically, taking in all these factors

• Pride compels men to 'show' they can support. (And they bring themselves into an endless cycle of trying to impress women with their ability to support.)


• The more support women receive, the less they value the support. (Women are spoiled by these gestures.)


• Eventually, women get the idea that these supports should be taken for granted.


• When men suggest women should also contribute, different opinion leads to dispute.

Ultimately it all comes down to tradition, it's hard to resist it when it has rooted itself so deep into society's clutches. Although I think nowadays there just as many couples that either split the bill or one pays for this date and the next time the other picks up the tab.

[DodgersGM]

Man oh man, people worry way too much about this kinda stuff. Another GaG gender pissing contest. LMAO

I like to pay the first few dates. After all, I'm usually the one doing the inviting in the beginning, so it seems appropriate for me to pay. Actually, I like it that way.

After the first few dates, if it's going well then at that point we're probably inviting each other to do things, and we treat each other. It's as simple as that.

Maybe it's because I only date women who I'm quite seriously interested in, but I don't look at those first few dates that I pay for and worry about the money. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, what's a hundred bucks or two hundred bucks spent while trying to spark a meaningful, potentially lifelong relationship? Who cares?

[CaliforniaMe]

I agree with you, this is the perfect outlook from the initiator, I've never gotten to the point of entering a relationship with a guy, but there are guys I liked and when I saw something interesting (I live in vegas) they have surq du soliel shows & I would want to invite him. Depending on how much it cost.

However I don't know if a girl was to initiate the date with a guy whom she was interested in, should she court him, or would that be a turn off? What would be the next step if she wanted to take things further

[RansomDraven]

Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

If you are inviting someone out, then the host or inviter should pay the bill. Expecting your guest to pay the bill will tell your guest or invitee you cannot afford to spend the evening with them.

That's my two-cents. It has nothing to do with gender.

If you cannot afford to take someone out, then eating out is just not an option. There are other ways to have fun, like inviting your special someone to meet your parents or an older, more authoritative relative. You can cook up a grand family feast and serve at the dining table; your date will be the only guest and will get the chance to observe your relationship with your family members.

[OpenClose]

Your bullet points were spot on.

It might seem petty for guys to be so caught up in it, but there are many good reasons, all of which are far bigger than simply having to spend an extra 10 bucks on a night out.

1. I don't think it makes much sense to have one party pay on the first date. You are just getting to know each other. It's a bit like declaring your love to a total stranger.

2. It's another one of those things that tells men they aren't being sought as companions, but as a tool of sorts. GoodMenProject did a good article about how men don't feel valued as people, but rather as a set of statistics and scores, or "status objects". Men, like anyone, want to feel loved and desired as a person. This is one thing that reminds us that we are an extra paycheck, association with "status", or a bodyguard. More specifically, we feel like if we can't pay for you or protect you, "then what use is he?"

3. Relationships should be about interpersonal discovery. The idea of payment expectations directly injects money into the middle of all of it. Imagine having to be weighed and have your cup size checked when going on a date. If you don't show your boobs, clearly you aren't interested, right?

4. Girls will talk forever about double standards or expectations on women that men don't have, and then completely overlook an bluntly obvious one going the other way. It isn't as big as other double standards, but it really shows you only care about the things that affect you. You don't give two shits the moment it turns the other way, even when it's dead obvious.

I've only ever really dated one girl who expected me to pay for dates. The relationship that followed went exactly as expected. I tried my best to show her I cared, and it wasn't enough. "Yeah, any guy can do that. Why should I stick with a guy who does things my friends normally do already?" Meanwhile, she would regularly tell me how lucky I was to have her. I thought this was just the norm.

Then I went out on a simple coffee date with a friend of mine. She showed up early and went ahead and bought me my favorite Carmel Apple Spice, and I later returned the favor. There were basically no expectations, we were just thankful to have met each other, even though we didn't eventually have a relationship. Everything about her is still etched into my mind. It is so easy to be romantic around that.

[asiag299]

Honestly the reason why this is even a debate is due to the feminists movement. I'm not a feminists and I couldn't care less about what they are fighting for so that being said I expect my dates to be paid for. Now if the woman is some whore or is vying for all her 'rights' then me as a man I would not pay. You're not going to argue me down about how women need this and that and how the system needs to change and then turn around and expect me to pay. You don't like the way it used to be then you are not allowed to like this tradition either period. That's how i feel about it like you're not going to hit me with some chivalry needs to be done away with or that it's dead and expect me to pay. If I was on a date with a girl like that I wouldn't pay either. On the other hand I probably wouldn't have taken a girl like that out in the first place as I'm sure it wouldn't be fun. All I'm saying is I agree with the old ways I'm traditional and i don't mind being underneath a man and letting him be head of the household. What feminists seem to forget when people say what I said though is this it's my decision! Feminists love to call people a slave or delusional when we want to be under our husband or partner. That's my choice the people who actually need feminists are the ones in other countries who are not free to make their own decisions instead it is forced upon them. They are killed, raped, and beaten we in the U. S choose this life because we want it if you want to fight so bad go fight for the rights as well. Those women are the ones who need it. Anyways I want to serve my man so it's only fair for him to pay for me. I expect my man to be a provider and a head to my household if I'm dating you I see potential and if you'e not paying I'm going to assume you can't be the head of my household. I'm waiting until marriage so my future husband better be ready to pay for my dates considering the fact that he's getting a prize. I also will not be working once we get married so a stable job is necessary as well. P. S this is not a bash to women who lost their virginity unwillingly although for the others who did it willingly before marriage *side eye* Also let me also state that I have a job now and I'm also in college courses although I'm getting ready to travel the world :)

[Anonymous]

It seems like you're advocating for men not playing if anything, but mostly not injecting your opinion which is good. So no offense but I'm going to rant on a couple things.

Are you sure women weren't allowed to work outside their homes? Are you just going to call it common sense and not be critical of that idea?

Yeah people can be greedy but I don't see what that has to do with the concept of money. Money is a tracking system for debt, or perhaps you could call it an objective representation of debt. It was birthed as an evolution in trade, it may facilitate greed but that doesn't mean greed has anything to do with it's inception.

With the peeing standing up analogy, standing is the convenient thing to do so paying nowadays (if not back in the day) would be analogous to peeing sitting down; less convenient; more work/time/cost, etc.

Tradition is no good reason for me. There's a tradition of sewing fire ants into leaf mitts and wearing them for however long to prove your manhood... fuck that. Tradition doesn't mean anything is it's dumb, there has to be a balance between progress and tradition, let us not forget the past but not let it hold us back either. You could say oh I'm traditional and like my men acting like that, well I can tolerate the existence of your view but that doesn't mean I have to say it's valid. My official position is *fuck, that.* It's like, I want my men to protect me, do all this work for me and satisfy my entire Maslow Hierarchy of Needs triangle while I chill over here... because tradition. Now, that's the more extreme end but it illustrates the point that not all positions are equal and traditionalism is a risky situation. Just because two people agree to it doesn't mean it's going to result in better outcomes more often than not. I might like drinking all day everyday, doesn't mean it's good for me or even ok.

What annoys me is that women just shrug it off as "that's just what I want" like it's equally valid. No. Dumb. Just because the guy in the second image doesn't mind being a doormat doesn't mean he's not a doormat. When you ask for special treatment from your doormats - or to use the analogy, pick up every dollar you find on the street, or rather keep every dollar that a man puts in your hands - while thinking everything is fine and that people should respect your position, then that means you're entitled.

[Opinion Owner]

All the reasons surrounding why men pay, basically come down to; they have to, so women keeping expecting/asking them to, so they have to, etc. Which circles back to the dollar in the street analogy.

[Transigence]

"Before the age of feminism and women's liberation, women weren't really allowed to work outside of their homes"
Before the age of feminism, there WASN'T any work outside the homes. Everyone generally worked on the home farm or very nearby. Also, women generally didn't want to work outside the home. Men were responsible, as you mentioned. Most women didn't want to change that. However, women were not barred from working outside the home, and many did -- especially unmarried women.

"but when given the opportunity for them to haggle for more it's only human nature for them to do so."
To this point I think this goes way further than paying for dates. I think there's asymmetry in sex drives between men and women, and women capitalize on it to a staggering degree, and this is embedded in human behavior even more than any culture. In my life, I feel like men really need to modify themselves a lot to attract a woman. Women aren't attracted to what most men really want to be. And I think it's the basis for all of the transfer of wealth from men to women that goes beyond accounting for a reasonably secure family situation.

[Transigence]

Otherwise, really good take! I'm glad to see a woman make mention of women getting spoiled, and the concept of too much support lowering the value of the support.

This was rather well-rounded.

[IamNuts]

Thank you

[Bandit74]

My issue with it is this...
"The person who asks should pay"

Well,80% of the time that will be the guy, so either way its the guy. Also, if a girl was to meet a girl at the first day of a new job and then asks her if she wanted to grab lunch afterwards, she's not going to expect the girl to pay, just because she asked.
However in the same scenario, if its a guy who asks a girl then there's this expectation that he should pay.

Besides the tradition aspect of it, I think the reason is because your'e paying for the possibility that you might have sex at some point. At least thats why I think guys are willing to pay for a girls company.

It doesn't seem worth it because guys know how common it is for girls to have sex on the first date with guys they meet at clubs or at parties.

Scenario:
-Week1: Bob takes Sally on 3 dates, spends $40 total. Sally loses interest after 3rd date
Week 2: Bob takes Ashley on 1 date, spends $20, there's no second date
Week 3-Week10 : Bob starts dates James for 2 months. Pays for dates until week 4 where Jamie starts paying for her half. Once they reach week 10, he finally gets to have sex, but at that point he's spent $70 on dates with her. He is the 8th guy to have sex with Jamie and of those other 7, 3 of them were fuckbuddies who got sex on the first date and spent $0 on dates with her.

So it doesn't really seem worth it to wait a month (s) and paying to take a girl on dates because even if you do get sex, its something some drunk guy she met at a club or some random dude she met on tinder got on the first date with zero effort.

[RationalLioness]

Your point? So what? Many women are approaching men now but how many men would get dates if they stopped approaching? It means nothing. You are also generalizing all over.

[NerdInDenial]

I find it interesting when women expect men to be chivalrous or be "traditional." However, these same women excuse themselves from doing the traditional things. If a woman wants a man to be traditional, she should be willing to do the laundry, cook, and clean and maintain the household. Yet, there's been a shift where men must maintain this type of correct "behavior," but they need to contribute to the household. This is not about tradition; this is about men needing to do everything and be supportive. Because of the "oppression" of women from the past, present men need to suffer and sacrifice even more. This is about vengeance. We should take a look at this issue from a perspective of a human standpoint regardless of sex. Everyone needs to earn a person's respect. Respect should not be granted because of the person's sex. Additionally, women cannot do everything that men can do. There are still certain things like strength tests where many women cannot complete that men are expected to complete.

[mistixs]

Women often *are* traditional, for example by putting far more effort into their appearance than men do.

[vishna]

I think this is a good MyTake.

A lot of women do expect a guy to pay for them. They see it as a show of his manners, values, and means.

And a lot of guys are forced into paying for things they really shouldn't be paying for, ex) a bill of $50 when $25 was in his realistic budget.

Things are getting better though. I like going 50/50 unless for a birthday surprise or something.

A story on this, when my sister went to visit her male friend he took her credit card and insisted he would pay for everything the entire weekend. I think that's kinda crazy, and we both think it's very old fashioned. But for him it was being a good love interest.

[IamNuts]

Thank you... I also prefer splitting it 50/50

[AleDeEurope]

It all comes to tradition and sense of entitlement. Some women are more traditional and will want the guy to pay, but she will still act more in a traditional way during the relationship.
Others are simply entitled women who believe because they have a vagina they are entitled to get men approaching and paying for them.

I can understand why years ago it was seen as positive for a man to pay, or he had to because she didn't work therefore had no money, but with all that women have gone through to gain equality, you'd expect them to also want equality when it comes to dating, but obviously they don't.
They're cherry picking, or like they're in a buffet. "Equal pay... I'll take some of that. Paying for dinner... fuck no, I don't want that..."

Traditional or entitled, that's all there is. Sadly, with most of young women, it's entitlement, cause they sure are loud when it comes to fighting for equality.

[RansomDraven]

Well maybe it's because I'm from the south, but our men pay for the first date, and usually date 2 and 3, then will fight you for the rest. I think the man should at least pay for date one if he asked, but I again was raised by a southern gentleman who believes in holding the door for others, watching his tongue around others, and shows respect. This doesn't make me spoiled, because I'm definitely not high maintenance. Take me on a date to hunt and feed me some beef jerky, make me laugh and cuddle me by a fire, I'm a happy girl. But I'm also not down with the feminist movement. I like to be a women for my man and for my man be able to be a man because that's sexy.

[CaliforniaMe]

3 dislikes boys these days are feminine and lazy and cheap

[RansomDraven]

@CaliforniaMe lol looks that way doesn't it? My husband paid in the beginning and fought me for trying to pay later. But we were both looking for a serious relationship, not just a fun lay. Now we both treat each other with equal respect, he's stil a gentleman and treats me like a queen and I treat him like a king. And he gets laid most nights which is I'm sure more than the little boys who are downvoting get. I'll keep my man =)

[Joc4Position]

Miss I'm from the south so watch your blasphemy please.

[Joc4Position]

We do NOT pay for the first date. I hold the door for everybody and the women here do too. I don't know what part of the south you live in but where I'm from we are nice to everybody. Not just the opposite sex. We open the door for everybody. We split bills. We show respect but we don't spoil each other. You have to work hard here. Nothing is given to you.

This has nothing to do with the feminist movement either. I'm all for women having equal rights, but don't tell me a man paying for the first date every time is equal. It's not and you mentioned the feminist movement there just shows you really don't understand the movement at all.

A man should be a man, but a woman should be a woman. Little girls like to be spoiled. Grown ass women do not.

[Joc4Position]

@CaliforniaMe Just like the girls. "Lazy and cheap". Like the famous quote says "Chivalry left and is wherever being ladylike went."

[RansomDraven]

@Joc4Position... oh I'm sorry brother, have you had much experience dating southern men? Because I have, and they paid for our date. Not because I asked them to, not because it was expected by me, not because I couldn't, not because I'm a gold digger honey, because let me tell you my husband is a fireman/paramedic so we definitely aren't millionaire, but because they are gentlemen and offered to because they were raised by gentlemen. So disagree all day long, and I wish you the best with that mentality. We live in America also, God Bless It, so you're free to disagree and right on brother, stand strong for what you believe! I respect that, but from my datin southern men experience... they paid because they were genuinely kind men.

[Joc4Position]

I've had much experience with talking to men and women and literally we all open the door for each other. This is common sense. I don't know where you live, but I swear more women have opened the door for me probably than men and they don't even know me. It's "southern hospitality". We don't care who the person is we open the door for everybody.

I'm not saying guys don't do it, but you made a general statement as if they all do. All of us don't. I don't. I know guys who don't. I never called you a gold digger, but I do feel girls who expect guys to pay for dates are "old fashioned" and hey if that's you then fine. Be you. Hopefully all the guys you date will want to pay first, but don't say we all do that because all of us don't.

[Joc4Position]

And that doesn't mean we aren't gentlemen just because we don't pay first. When can women be ladylike? Instead they expect things from guys. Should we expect things from them?

[RansomDraven]

@Joc4Position okay clearly you have taken my opinion personally... first of all obviously... we all hold the door for each other, we are all nice here, we give the shirt off our backs, and we work hard. Now... let us use common sense... have I met everyone in the south? No. So OBVIOUSLY I am speaking from my personal experiences. In my experiences, as previously stated... the men paid because they would have had it no other way. Have I ever paid for a date? Yes of course. A first one? Absolutely not. Was I expecting things from them? Absolutely not. I really don't know what about my opinion has you so hellbent to prove me wrong, but... I'm not. It's my opinion from my personal experiences. As I said, good luck with your future ladies, I dated my share of men and got the best one in my opinion. We respect each other, we spoil each other, we love each other. Feel free to disagree, as I said, stand firm.

[Joc4Position]

Yeah okay but people make general statements and I just feel it's important to note to people that guys in the south aren't paying for first dates every time. Take each situation individually. That's all I'm saying. You say it's obvious but it's not. "Our men pay for the first date"? What are people supposed to believe? That if a girl dates a guy from the South he'll automatically pay for the first date. This isn't true and I don't want people to get confused here.

Also, you said something offensive to me earlier on my opinion. Saying that I can't be in a "deep relationship" unless I pay first. At least that's what you're alluding to.

[RansomDraven]

@Joc4Position. "We do NOT pay for the first date"... is this not a general statement? If you want to start picking apart quotes, that's fine, we can have a pissing contest. As I said again, and anybody with 2 working brain cells would know that obviously all southern men won't pay, just as you can't say all of any group would do all of something. That is commen sense.
As for me offending you, my apologies.

[Joc4Position]

I'm sure I meant to put a I there instead of we, but I was a bit upset with what you said on my opinion. It's not a pissing contest. I doubt anyone would be alive with just two brain cells much less be able to think logically.

Some people don't have common sense, and it's okay :)

[RansomDraven]

@Joc4Position lol ain't that the truth! Alright cowboy, well good luck out there in the dating world, best of luck to you! Much respect for your opinion.😉 take care

[hellionthesage]

Actually, women did work, frequently. We have documents showing that thier where women black smiths dating back as far as 1400s. Women worked in the mines, until it was deemed to dangerous for them in the late 1700s/early1800s. Men where the providors because reproduction was much more risky for a woman then a man, the woman would generally, refuse to be with a man not willing to dedicate his resources since pregnancy and child rearing was so resource intensive for her. If he was unwilling then it meant that he wasn't worth procreating with. So it was a standard that women set, not men. Notice how sex is much more easily excessable to men now and is concurrent with the rise of men and women paying equally? Its because they no longer need to pay to procreate.

[Anonymous]

you missed the most obvious and main reason: because we invited you. i don't think anyone has said it (i might be wrong). if i ask you to go out with me and you say yes, i'm showing you gratitude for you going out of your way to say yes. it's that simple. if a girl asks a guy out, then the role will be reversed. but since traditionally, the guy is the one asking, it has pretty much been ingrained in both men and women how the first date process goes.

[IamNuts]

I actually mentioned it "Many people also feel they have a sense of responsibility to pay if they're the ones who did the asking"
but thanks for elaborating on it.

[Opinion Owner]

i missed it then. i think that should be it's own point.

[serp777]

I'll sum it up for you. it doesn't require a two page article. Women have many options of sexual partners compared to a male of equivalent attraction. It is much easier for a woman to find a partner than it is for a man on average. Thus supply and demand curves imply that the demand for women is greater than the demand for men and the supply of sex from women is low; in order to adjust the curve, men need to incentivize their value as a partner and so shifting the demand curve by paying women and whoring them essentially is one way to do it. its not much different from finding a prostitute and paying them enough so that their demand of you meets a fair price. Men paying for women is just prostitution and not equal rights. Women should find men paying for them disgusting and insulting since the man is basically paying enough in order to have sex with them

[Metlahaed]

Lol, oh boy... I wonder if guys like you expect to find healthy relationships, or feel like you deserve them. -_-

[serp777]

@Metlahaed LOL Healthy is your opinion and only that. You don't determine was is a "healthy" relationship doctor meathaed.

Clearly im the unhealthy one for basing relationship on mutual attraction and how much we enjoy each other's personalities rather than paying for a woman's dinner to get laid. Yeah brilliant point bro.

[Metlahaed]

In fact, yes, I do determine what makes a healthy relationship. But you do realize I didn't make a point, you made a point for me, by making assumptions about me, and then argued against my hypothetical beliefs. All I did was wonder something, a question isn't a point, and you didn't answer it.

Apparently you believe relationships are based on supply and demand for dick and pussy... Nowhere did you mention personality. But nice try. Show this post to any girl you choose to date and lets see what she thinks about your "personality." I dare you.

[serp777]

Yeah I admit most girls would hate it because she would't like the cognitive dissonance that she was taking a free dinner in order to allow for the possibility of sex with some guy. By the way you didn't ask a question you just wondered if guys like me can find a healthy relationship. Well it depends on your definition of healthy.

But oh you determine it? Please enlighten me. i didn't realize you had your PHD doctor. What kind of studies do you have to determine relationship healthiness.

Finally, yes relationships are based on a supply and demand curve for sex just like any other commodity. Its a fact of life and it explains why men have difficulty getting laid and women have little difficulty if they're moderately attractive. Is there some reason you have to think that you can't explain relationships and sex by supply and demand? The demand is why males pay for dinner and why males are epxected to put in the work.

[CousinGrizzly]

lol I respect your pimping serp. I feel like your just calling it like it is man. Paying for her keeps her interested because if she has to pay for herself she will be turned off. Thats not for all women though, just the broke ones who feel entitled to free meals because they have a vagina.

[rjroy3]

I don't really care where it came from, nor do I think it's bad for guy to pay for a first date. I've done it plenty of times. But I do think is a sign of poor character for a woman to expect the man to pay solely on the basis of tradition or that he's the man.

Generally speaking I pay for only myself unless there was a discussion beforehand. There's been times a girl asked me out that I replied, "iI don't have any money at the moment" and she offered to pay for me because she really wanted to see me.
Likewise I've asked girls out who were upfront and said they didn't have any money, so I offered to pay for them because I really wanted to see them. It's not about the money.

But this idea of "she asked me, so I'm going to leave my wallet at home and leave her with the bill" is stupid. People should assume they have to pay for you if they ask you out? Just tell them so you can get that sorted out early. They might decline if that's the expectation.

[Elena_the_Star]

Most guys I have gone out with would not let me pay for the dates especially first date. I just offer 3 times after which I let him if he insists so I don't be looked at as a bitter feminist. One thing though, I am still living off my parents money and if a guy is financially more stable or has a part time job for himself and lives by himself I think its fair he pays more often. I try to be an equal partner but if a guy is rich and I am not as rich how will I be an equal partner all the time? .

Anyway just makes sure he's not paying all the time if he is from the same financial background as you.

[Punkbuster107]

Well stated, from several good angles.

I really don't feel bad about paying. If a lady seems to havr less income and more time than me, I may pay for dinner, but ask her to drive further for the date than me. I never want expenses to even be a factor when a girl is trying to decide whether or not to go somewhere with me.

[IamNuts]

Thanks

[Nice_Guy_Last]

It bewilders me when women get upset when guys are old fashioned in terms of politeness. I was walking into a gas station once, and I noticed a woman walking close behind. I held the door for her, something I would have done regardless of whether it was a man or woman, and she looked at me with this face of disgust, and said in a very matter-of-fact voice, "I can do that myself, pig." She then opened the other door, and walked in, leaving me in a state of shock and bewilderment.
A word to the wise: if someone is being nice to you for seemingly no reason, don't bite their head off. It is unbecoming of you, and you come off as mean and arrogant.

[Applefan1]

Wow that woman you held the door for is simply acting like a bitch and nothing else. She has a screwed up brain and screwed up thoughts. She was very rude! She should have thanked you for it, not be a bitch about it. Don't worry that is her problem not yours.

[NeedToUnderstand]

the girl was acting like a pseudo feminist. i would hold the door for a guy behind me, and i think its sweet when a guy would do that.

[Lindajackie]

It's polite to hold doors open so they don't hit the people behind you in the face that lady is rude and a pig herself.

[CottonMuffin]

Damn, that woman sure was acting bitchy.

[godfatherfan]

after a very unwanted divorce I have nothing. It is hard enough to keep things going for my kids I would rather pay but just can't. But until you get through the first few dates and to a point where you can just hang out at home and watch movies. I made a rule that if she doesn't at least offer to pay for one of the dates out of the first 3 I end it right then. I have had 3 women that were just going out for free meals. I even tried 2 of 3 times to setup only drinks and a post dinner date and she still managed to have "not eaten

[Anonymous]

On a first date I always insist on paying for myself, it's lovely when they offer to pay for me which they do every time and most absolutely insist or will pay while we are still eating. If we are doing two things I'll always pay for something. Eg. I went to coffee and a movie with a guy, he paid for the movie and I paid for the coffee. I am very happy to do that and if things progress then I would be happy to continue or pay in turns. From where I'm from (Australia) guys just automatically assume they are paying on the first date and it's very flattering that they even offer and most girls I know will insist back or shove money in their pocket or offer to pay for something else. It's just polite I guess :)

[Bliss-taylor]

I've always been told that a man should pay for a date if he was the one who did the asking. Also one thing I've realized is if a man will spend a little bit on you and not expect you to pay for anything then he's more serious. After all who would blow $20+ on you if he's just looking for a lay. A stupid one that's who. Until my husband most guys I called my boyfriend we didn't have money to go out anywhere and I was fine with that. One boyfriend I did all the buying because I had a job and his was a seasonal job. So personally if the guy has a job and asked me to dinner I would expect him to pay. If we made it to the second or third date I'd start offering to take the bill or at the least pay for myself.
I did date one guy a couple times. I asked him out and I tried to pay but he refused to let me.

[Kris85]

Where I live, most of the men pay for the dates. And they have no issues doing so. I do not always assume that they will when they ask me out, so I make sure I have money to go on the date and pay my way. When the bill comes and he says he will pay, then I am fine with that. If he doesn't , then I pay my share. Out of all the dates I have been on in the last year, I have only ever had to pay once. As for some of the people on here saying women wait for the guy to ask them out because they don't have to pay?
Meh. I don't ask guys out simply because I just don't chase them. If they want my attention, they can come to me. I lead a busy life and can't be bothered to chase a man down.

[CapitanMurica]

"And can't be bothered to chase a man down" lol someone has been around...

[Kris85]

@captainmurica yep did the chasing after boys thing when I was a teenager. Like all girls do. I myself as an older woman now , don't give really give a fuck. They all come to me. I don't need to go to them.

[Kris85]

@CapitainMurica