Why Women Want Men Paying For Dates


As an act of chivalry, men are likely to pay for themselves, and their date. however, times have changed, and although many men still pay for women chivalrously, many women have come to the expectations that the man should be the one paying for the date (especially the first). As sexist as it sounds, the expectation still exists. Here are the reasonings of why women expect men to pay for dates.

Why Women Want Men Paying For Dates

1. They believe that paying shows respect

She'd feel as though you're respectful of her once you pick up the tap. She feels as though you're acting gentlemanly because she knows that she'd rather not be forced into paying, and so she appreciates you paying (even if it's for exploitive, gold-digging purposes).

2. They feel entitled

A very common reason I see nowadays, a woman can feel entitled to you paying for time just as easily as people feel entitled to be able to eat. Of course, many women I've met would disagree with entitled women as well.

3. They don't want to feel as though they're being led on by you

This reason is legit, but still cowardly. If resisting to cater to yourself because you'd feel as though he's leading you nowhere, think about the man. What if by refusing to pay for someone (that you even actually liked), he'd feel as though you don't respect, like, or care about you?

4. They couldn't care about you

Period. If a girl feels as though she doesn't like you, or the date isn't going great, she isn't going to want to pay for herself if she didn't enjoy herself. Personally I'd feel the same way, but I don't usually have a say in this situation here.

5. Feminism

In some countries, feminism is actually needed. Men and women are definitely not equals there, and women are the inferior sex. Just like in the past where feminism was needed in America, feminism is needed in these certain areas, and just as men were paying for women as we weren't equal, women expect men to pay for dates in these countries in this day and age for the same reasons, and it happens to be a reason that I'd be very much willing to oblige.

Women are independent creatures. They aren't weak (like society unfairly claims them to be), and they can certainly handle paying for themselves on a date. However, if you see a woman refusing to pay for herself, it is most likely because of her traditionalist views on the dating world, or it's because of one of the reasons above. I mean c'mon, we're only human.

Why Women Want Men Paying For Dates
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nyx_85
    When I go out to dinner with friends I always pay for myself. I don't see why a date should be that much different. Even if you don't have a good time and never see that person again well... if you went out to eat alone you'd have to pay for your food right? Paying for yourself means nobody feels taken advantage of. And if the guy insists on paying that is on him. However if a guy I'm seeing chooses to NEVER pay for me, not even on my birthday, then that shows he doesn't give a fuck. Especially if I find out he did (or is doing. i. e we break up and he's seeing someone new) it for another girl. It's all about what their actions mean.

    TBH MOST people if given the choice would not scream "OH NO PLEASE DON'T!" when offered free stuff. I've paid for guy's dinners before and have never had a protest. Also if bars offered "Guy's night" with free entry and drinks then you'd be your ass dudes would be piling in. Not one would be like "I reject the idea of free alcohol! How dare you!"

    Is this still revelant?
    • Nyx_85

      *bet your ass

    • Lopezz1999

      You're pretty much one of the respectable women out there.

    • Nyx_85

      Thank you. You can't expect things. I won't even go out on a date if I don't have the extra cash for it. I hate being in a bind. Years ago this guy asked me out to dinner and I told him no because I was pretty broke at this time. I think I had maybe like $40 or $50 in my bank account until my next pay day. And I mean I needed money for gas and stuff. I wasn't expecting him to pay. He was like "I'll pay for you don't worry". Insisted on seeing me. We went to a place for takeout so we could go eat at the beach. We ordered our food. He paid for himself. I thought he had paid for me because he said he would. Then the server is like "Is that going to be cash or debit?" to me. I looked at the dude and he was like "Yeah I paid for myself. I'm a student you know..." Well you could have mentioned that BEFORE you insisted on treating me you asshole... Luckily I had ordered something cheap but grrr. That was the last time I went on a date when broke.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • ThisDudeHere
    I like how the only excuse women have nowadays for not paying for dates is "tradition" when if it weren't for that, there would be nothing stopping them from enjoying "equality" with men and paying.

    I can understand how it was supposed to be this way a century+ ago when women typically did not have a source of income, unlike men. But the same just does not apply today. In some areas young adult females actually outearn males. Other than the highly convenient "tradition" excuse, there is no reason at all a woman shouldn't at least pay for herself.

    I do not there is a single thing to say that can hide the fact that expecting the man to pay at all times is anything but gold-digging.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • RJGraveyTrain
    I'd have to agree, but I'd also add that blatantly some girls just abuse the tradition to get free shit as well. That way even if the date goes bad they got something out of it.
    • Lopezz1999

      Yeah, gotta watch out for those girls too.

  • PrincessPie
    Good take :) i agree with your points.
  • Gonetowardthewind
    That's why you make the first date like a walk in the park with ice cream. Most you'll spend is 6 bucks, no anxiety since your at a restaurant (some people are really insecure with how they eat, for privacy) plus you won't have to talk over people and if there are sensitive topics that come up, you don't have to worry about eavesdroppers. Also why spend a lot on a restaurant when you may not go on a second date.
    • Lopezz1999

      I wonder why a woman down voted you...

    • Hmm, maybe she's a gold digger and just wants free meals from restaurants. Ohh well Karma is going to be a bitch for her if I'm right

  • Browneye57
    Pretty good. Especially the entitlement bullshit. From the time these girls can walk they've been told how special and pretty they are, that they deserve the very best and should have WHATEVER they could possibly dream they could want. And that they are better than, smarter than, and more entitled to anything and everything than boys. We've raised a whole generation of entitled snowflake princesses. :)
  • oneinchyuri
    I agree with a lot of these actually! Like with anyone, if you aren't enjoying your time, why would it be worth it? And also feeling entitled, it's very easy to get caught up in yourself. It's good to see that this expectation is lowering and it's way more common to see the bill be split or the woman paying. All this has been grown from the gender roles that men are the providers so hopefully it continues to fade out.
  • Honestly, I would like to pay at least my half. Everything above is so true. Yes he can obviously pay and all, I know it. But what's wrong with me paying? My own little way to respect him and appreciate him you see. Showing him that I'm not a fully dependent person. But if he insists posting by himself, it's okay at times. :)
  • Dez22
    None of that applies to me im just cheap as hell and im always greatful if he pays. I got money so if I HAVE to pay for both of us I will, or if he asks me to pay I can, and sometimes I offer to pay as well. But most of the time he pays, and he doesn't mind. But I never refuse to pay. I'm just willing to save as much money as possible, and it's not just with my boyfriend 😂
  • SaramadHill
    Chivalry is a meme that needs to die, or at least be re-worked. It undermines a woman's sense of equality, either placing her on a pedestal or making her feel like she's different-- needing to be treated differently...

    I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being nice, paying for dinners in full, or even holding a door open for someone; but being expected to do it every single time? That's taking advantage of someone's kindness for granted. And chivalry has made that seem perfectly normal, when I don't think it should be.

    Whoever asks someone to go out for dinner should at least offer to pay for their guest, that's just good manners, you don't want to extort people out of their money.
    Another thing is the invited party should at least offer, or insist, to pay for themselves, and be prepared to follow through with it if they must.

    Men and women take chivalry gestures for granted too often, effectively undermining the whole point of being nice to someone.
    And I'm not saying it's true for all women, because there's certainly some good souls out there who appreciate things people do for them...
    For instance, me and my fiancee have always split our bills on everything straight from the start -- something she initially asked of me actually. That doesn't mean I won't go out and buy her a milkshake, or pay for a dinner date sometimes, but she'll always find a way to do something nice back for me in return like pay for my movie ticket... We keep hitting the tennis ball to each other's court, perpetuating good deeds with good deeds.
  • CT_CD
    The girls on G@G lie about not expecting the man to pay for dates, especially the first date. Most of them expect and want the guy to pay.

    "Despite changing times, old dating customs die hard: A study found that 77.4% of people in a relationship believe men should pay the bill on a first date. This sentiment is true for both genders"
    • Lopezz1999

      Oh I definitely agree here.

    • MrNameless

      Men are brainwashed to do so.. And like the idea of tips in america, you're damned if you do and damn'd if you don't.

  • Superchick123
    True and not true. I personally want the man to pay. I'm not expectant of it, but it would disappoint me if he wouldn't pay.
    I am not a feminist by the way. I'm definitely for equality, but I'm definitely not a feminist. I believe to a certain extent in gender roles. With no gender roles, society is a free for all. Consider me traditionalist or too conservative, but I do like to have a man that dominates to an extent.
    • vc1990

      If you expect the guy to pay, what do you offer in return? Just curious to know as I see most girls expect the guys to pay but when you ask them what they offer, they don't say much.

    • Yes, make the man pay while you do nothing. So dominating. Lmao

    • Lopezz1999

      Unfortunately, I disagree dear friend.

    • Show All
  • Red-Pill-Truth
    So in other words, if you're dating a woman swayed by feminism, who still holds men to traditional standards, you're dating a hypocrite.

    I expect to pay - In fact, I insist.
    And if her response to that is inconsistent with her values, that's usually the last date.
  • Phoenix98
    Well sorry to say I do0n't really care I'm still gonna pay and that's that.

    I don't even do it for them I just do it because it's how I am I do it for men and women. If I take you out then I am going to pay, it's my responsibility.
  • Unit1
    So damn true! Fantastic mytake!


    and number 7: She wants to be taken care of, not because so he proves, that he can but because she can't take care of herself :P

    The truth hurts butts! Go on and let out the reaction, which are the downvotes! idc.
  • Watermelon15
    This is so bs. Like dude you are 17 and you've been on like 2 dates. Sure a lot of women want the man to pay, but just say hell nah and leave and find one of us who actually wants to split it or pay for what we ordered or offer to pay for you as well. Im well aaware of these types of women, but the number of them are getting smaller and smaller.
    • Lopezz1999

      Tell me how it's bs. I'm ready. Ps, I know you can take a challenge, as I believe I've seen you around before?

    • Its bs that women in general want the man to pay? Like no not all women, only the stupid ones. And also its also bs that feminism has anything to do with it. Feminism is about being independent from the man and having both genders be equal towards each other. I agree that in many western countries this has already pretty much been achieved, but thats exactly why woen DONT want to go back in this old pattern by letting the man pay, and instead prefer to split the bill and prove equality in the money and datinggame. Do you see my point?

    • Lopezz1999

      Hm, in the beginning I thought you were completely disagreeing with this mytake, but I happen to be talking about any woman that wants a man to pay for the dates, not those who don't. And yes, I did come across the idea that if feminism were to exist where it's needed right now, it has the potential to become chaotic like the West. I'm not referring to women who want to pay for themselves at all.

    • Show All
  • Iraqveteran666
    6. Women are cheap. Some women accept and go on many dates to avoid cooking or paying for dinner so naturally are upset if they have to pay their way. Think about it how much would thry save if they had a date 4 or 5 days a week.
    In the past I purposely stiffed a few women who were cheap like this or a crappy uninterested date by going to the bathroom but really leaving the restaurant.
  • spnsfi
    One factor I think gets missed out is that guys do most of the asking out.

    I don't see the issue with the one who sets up the date pays, especially the first few dates.

    I doubt most women would think that the guy should pay for her just as a reward for having tits, and I think very few women would ask a guy out for coffee and expect him to pay for her.
    • Lopezz1999

      That's right. Women who ask men out definitely wouldn't expect him to pay for her nor feel entitled because they're women. However, many women do feel entitled because they feel as though they paid to look great (makeup and dress), and so you must pay because she paid to look good. That's an example of entitlement, but I still agree with you.

    • spnsfi

      Yup, I think it's social conditioning more than anything.

    • MrNameless

      My issue isn't so much of me paying, but the entitlement that comes along with it, and that I get judged if I don't "act like a man" and do all the planning and paying, or else I'll be looked down upon on a woman that makes just as much as me.

    • Show All
  • seregunda
    I've actually only ever paid for a guy when he's been my boyfriend, usually I set a system where we take turns. But in dating situations I always paid my half (although I have never been the type during dating to pay for the man's half either)
  • TheSniper
    When girls here say that they don't expect the man to pay for the first date, there is no reason in hell to believe them. Most of them will upvote takes like this but MORE girls will upvote takes which tell us why the man should pay. It's more like saying- "Oh I'm a feminist but I want men to pay on the first date because it's such a turn on."
  • raspberry0416
    Because it's better to get a free meal. And it's better to date a guy who has enough money to pay for dates.
    I'm not saying this is good or right, and you are free to refuse to pay for dates. But women are also free to refuse to date you if you don't pay.
    • Lopezz1999

      Either a very single life awaits you unless you were to change your traditional, hypocritical, ludicrous views, or an unfortunate heartbreak awaits for boyfriend/future partners that you mooch off of. You are the type of person people would stay away from, and are definitely far from being the most pleasant in comparison. You are by far one of the most hypocritical women I have ever met. Hopefully you're a better person outside of these views, but I hope to never see you again. I will not block you, but your views are very controversial. Good luck in this foreseeable future.

    • I love how a 17 year old guy thinks he knows more about my life than I do. You will grow up and learn, little boy.

    • daveses

      "But women are also free to refuse to date you if you don't pay." those women are prostitutes

    • Show All
  • Kit_Kat88
    There are a lot of other ways besides paying for something to show care. I'm ok with paying my half and if he offers to pay, i'll accept. Sometimes I feel bad though so I invite him.
  • HungLikeAHorsefly
    If I ask a woman out, I'm going to pay for the date. If she asked me, well then maybe we'll split it. Then again, if I ask another dude if he wants to get a beer with me, I'll probably pay for that too.

    I know a lot of guys are butthurt about the whole "who pays" issue, but I largely consider it a trivial matter.
  • Benk111
    the last two are wrong but the rest of them I agree. I'm no expert on these matters but most women I've heard talk about this subject say that if the date wasn't going well they would pay just to get the date over with.
    • Lopezz1999

      True, I do see this happen sometimes.

  • fabulouspancakes
    The only reason I want a man to pay on a date is because men still are usually the ones to ask for the date in the first place. I believe the asker needs to pay, or at least offer. If I were the one doing the asking, however, I would expect to pay at least for my half. You don't invite someone to do something and then expect them to pay for it, it's just bad manners.
    After two people have been dating for a while, I think splitting the bill is the way to go. However, a lot of guys still feel emasculated if they don't pay. My boyfriend usually turns me down when I offer to pay for half, but I'll cover the tip or dessert. So that way he feels like "da man" but I'm also contributing. I guess every couple is different so that's something you have to figure out for yourself.
    • Lopezz1999

      So you say that because men ask, you want them to pay?

    • Yes, I think the person asking (male or female) should always offer to pay. Because when you invite someone (even just a friend), you should know the approximate cost and be prepared to pay for it. However, I will always offer to pay my half regardless. In my experience, most men refuse, but I think that's the polite thing to do.

    • Lopezz1999

      Well here's the thing.. women are very unlikely to be the one to make the first move, even though they want to. They also expect the guy to be the one to ask her out, and still expect men to pay for them. It isn't the cost that matters, it's the act of courtesy done by paying. By paying for yourself this day and age, it actually does show courtesy, since many women still believe that men should be paying for them out on dates. I don't consider it polite to pay for a woman on a date, actually. It's more of a chilvarous thing.

    • Show All
  • Tunnel_Weeks
    Well wouldn't a woman paying for a man also show that she respects him?
    • Lopezz1999

      Not quite. It's that they believe that paying shows respect, and that's not necessarily true. There are many ways to show respect to a woman, much better ways, before a date. As for a woman paying for me, I wouldn't believe that she respects me, since she could be paying out of courtesy. If she were to offer to pay for him however, it does show that she actually likes the guy, but you know.. that never happens with this belief in play.

    • Men ain't greater than women and women ain't greater than men. If a man paying shows respect, then so does a woman paying.

    • Lopezz1999

      No, paying doesn't show respect period, is what I'm saying. The women who want men to pay just believe that it does, but it doesn't.

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  • JoyGirl
    Well, done on your myTake! Now, take me to Red Lobster. You're paying. *-*
    • Lopezz1999

      Only if you take me out to all you can eat burgers 😊😂

    • JoyGirl

      That depends on how much you plan to eat. 😅

    • JoyGirl

      I can pay for a few, but not all you can eat. xD

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  • frozenhorizon
    Sorry this is bad, have you actually been on real dates dates? I can't see how these are realistic at all.
    • They sole reason why a woman would potentially want a guy to pay is because she wants to date a guy who is willing to provide for her. If he pays on the date it shows that he is capable of doing that. Not all women want that type of guy either, I think it's about 50/50, maybe even less. Maybe the ones who are looking for a partner like that are actually weaker and less independent than men.

    • Lopezz1999

      Are you saying that men should provide for women outside of a relationship with the risk of her walking away right then and there?

    • No, I'm just saying I don't think your reasons are accurate. I'm not saying it's right or wrong

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  • jinglybeads
    I used to always pay my share and insist. However, I've come to realise that sometimes the guy genuinely wants to do the things they consider "manly", which includes paying for my stuff sometimes and fixing things around the house that I could do. It's like an old school traditional way of thinking that is buried deep inside guys' heads.

    So now, if they want to pay, i let them. otherwise, i'm super happy to pick up my own tab.
  • BrileyCat
    idc . fancy or Mc's . he pays 1st date .
    for that he gets my attention and my companionship
    if i like him he gets something more than that
  • justkidding93
    women are weak, and regardless of social constructs specific to each country, biologically they are inferior to men. nothing can really change that, and this is why they are hypergamous, and thus they demand more from men than they can offer back to him, and this includes paying for her in various ways.
    • Lopezz1999

      Hm, I'll have to look further into this.

    • look up hypergamy, red pill knowledge, 80/20 rule etc, gynocentrism, mgtow

      Youtubers such as turd flinging monkey, black pigeon speaks, peter molyneux, they explain in detail why the genders aren't equal and why feminism is a failure and not sustainable. This is also why gender relations are so extremely bad in modern times and why divorce rates and the ammount of single moms are through the roof. Men are waking up to female nature and are avoiding marriage for good reason.

    • Levelthree

      Sure women are not tailored to the same tasks as men (primarily physically), but to outright call them weak or inferior is just misogyny. Physical traits are only part of the equation.

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  • Prof_Don
    If I feel the woman would appreciate the gesture, I would pay for some dates. But to avoid being used, the FIRST date would be dutch. We each pay our own separate tab.

    Now if she didn't have a job at the time of the first date, or if I made way more money than her, then I would pay for her.
    • MrNameless

      I agree with you all the way. It's hard to convince women to pay for the first date without looking "cheap." I hate it. It's a lose lose situation.

  • JCT666
    Didn't realise so many women on this website were gold diggers, lol. But I shouldn't even be surprised.
  • daveses
    They are prostitutes, that's why, a women won't sleep with a man without him spending money in some way.
    • Lopezz1999

      lol some are, some aren't. There are still good women out there.

    • Browneye57

      You know, it's funny you would say this. It is well established that women will generally do pretty much anything for a price. It's simply a matter of establishing what that is. I didn't believe it myself, I was MUCH MUCH older than you before I figured this out.

      And the masculine concepts of honor and loyalty are pretty much non-existent in a woman's mind. They can and will justify any action they deem to be 'what they want'. The term is 'solipsism'. It's simple biology. You can't fight mother nature. You can try, but you'll never win out.

  • Recovering
    When I was dating I always paid because that was what I was most comfortable with. I don't mind either way. As long as she and I both agree on it.
  • Hispanic-Cool-Guy
    If she isn't my woman I'm not spending a dime on a woman that isn't mine.
  • Cccgala
    I can't find a loophole. All points make sense!
  • loveArt1983
    lol that policy works if food out is good, I like imagine if people would go picnic baskets to go if that even possible anymore. sharing a meal is also good policy?
  • TrollG0D
    Why women want men paying for dates? They want a free meal.
  • ConnorGracie
    They need a deposit just in case things don't work out. You're getting played possibly as a man every time you pay.
  • Zumber
    What I tend to do is go for a coffee informally, and see if we click. If we do then I'll pay the first date and split anymore after that.
  • FaithfulGuardian
    In situation where women have to pay money, they will play the weaker sex card saying men should be a gentlemen and pay. But when they want to get benefits that men are getting, they will use the men and women are equal. Seen too much of this crap.
  • MrNameless
    It's tragic that in this day and age that many women (and worse, men) hold on to these old fashioned traditions when it benefits them, when its totally irrelevent in western society, and women can clearly support themselves on their own (which is a good thing obviously) today,

    Women these days are independent and driven, and focus more on their careers and don't want to be housewives like their moms. Most can't cook nearly as good as them (neither do most men) and are getting married much later, but its hypocritical to expect men to hold on to the same old fashioned gender role traditions if they themselves aren't holding to them.
  • rjroy3
    6. Free meal

  • fueledbythc
    The person who made the plans should pay. Most likely its the guy.
  • tyber1
    Because theyre pitiful, worthless scumbags who demand to have the upper hand.
  • cupidkisses
    Well written
  • Midget_Hug
    What about "saving money"? Because as far as I am concerned if someone is paying for my food... that's awesome!
  • Eternallylucky
    As far as i know, it's what American women expect.
  • starbucksjr69
    I don't mind paying, as long as the girl appreciates me
  • Silver158
    Is it because they're cheap? It's because they're cheap isn't it?
  • douride2
    I can't find 1 thing in your take I agree with.
    • Lopezz1999

      I'm sorry to hear that

    • douride2

      I will pay my own way unless he insists on paying. With that said there are many who think the guy should pay regardless of income.

    • Lopezz1999

      Well lucky for you, I'm not referring to you or any other woman who is content with paying for herself, splitting the bill, or paying for the guy. I am referring to any woman who expects a guy to pay. I've never said that women want men to pay. I say that those who do fit into these categories. You're an exclusive. Does that change your opinion?