Why Women Play Hard to Get, Even if you Hate it


Men who are in it only for sex

This is something most men would take rather they cared for a woman or not. Many men string women along for years just to get it.

Why Women Play Hard to Get, Even if you Hate it.

Most guys move on once she shows interest

This happens a lot although many guys say they want woman to approach, so that they don't have to, woman do approach, and when they do, the guy repels. It turned out this particular guy wanted the chase.

Why Women Play Hard to Get, Even if you Hate it

Men who take advantage of a woman's kindness

My sisters boyfriend says on the phone "I'm just living with her until I get on my feet" many men, mooch of their girlfriends so they stay bouncing relationship to the next, for a place to stay, to be fed and have clothes washed. While you might not be the type this is what woman face.

Why Women Play Hard to Get, Even if you Hate it

To single out the Losers who give up easily

This is my personal reason. There are a lot of guys out there who don't fight to make the relationship work! I fight to make my relationships work, and when I'm tired they hold the door open for me, I don't want that. I know that the guy whom I'm waiting for isn't focused on relationships right now, he's figuring out what he wants to do with his life, but when he finds that right one to settle with, he won't just let it go, and I need to know that before I invest my feelings in him, in a guy with commitment phobia, how much does he truly want me? Of course I'm not impossible to get, but I am if you don't APPROACH ME 😁

Why Women Play Hard to Get, Even if you Hate it

So, a lot of men might feel intitled to do the same thing. Go ahead, with most woman cautious of diving head first, especially when experience with these issues and guys can be too insecure to approach in fear of rejection.

Ps. I will approach a shy guy I like, after I'm 100% sure he liked me, by then he would've gave up, and became the loser who didn't approach...

Why Women Play Hard to Get, Even if you Hate it
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14Girl Opinion
79Guy Opinion

Most Helpful Girl

  • Anonymous
    PLAYING hard to get and BEING hard to get are two very different things. I will elaborate..

    A woman playing hard to get is simply seeing how long she can get that man to chase her and try to pursue her. "May the best man win"- type of scenerio. The longer they chase you, the better the chances are of that particular woman maybe giving you a real chance. However, in the same sense, some of these women will turn around after this long chase that this man upheld and say things such as, "I'm not ready for a relationship", or "You're such a good FRIEND", or "I'm just not that into you". Playing hard to get is simply playing a role and playing with the mans emotions. And more often than not, the women who PLAY hard to get are the ones who will sleep with you and tell you they like you just to turn around and change their mind in the long run.

    A woman whom IS hard to get is a lot more respectable in my eyes. This woman will give men ample chances at winning her heart but in the same sense won't settle for anything she doesn't deserve (a mooch, woman beater, cheat, etc). This woman knows what she wants but isn't shallow. She won't sleep with you on the first date. She genuinely wants to get to know you as a person and know your life stories. She likes hearing about your day but she also won't give in without knowing exactly where she stands with you.

    Like I said; there is a huge difference between someone playing hard to get and someone whom is hard to get.

    From your descriptions listed above (your personal one) it seems to me that you are the more respectable type of woman. The woman who is hard to get, rather than a woman simply playing the part. Women who are truly hard to get are the ones who don't flaunt it. The ones who are playing hard to get are the first ones to say statements such as, "I don't want to go too fast," or "I'm hard to get". Because those statements alone will make a man try harder and these women know it. The ones who are truly hard to get don't want the man to try harder. They want that man to be himself. After all, he doesn't have to try to be himself.
    LikeDisagree 17 People
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Most Helpful Guy

  • AleDeEurope
    Perhaps it's true, but then those girls are the ones crying and whining because they're single.
    Cry all you want, but if you play hard to get, it's your fault that you're alone.

    This is another Take from a lazy girl who makes excuses in order to not put effort into getting something. I see this everyday.
    Keep playing hard to get all you want, but don't cry if guys don't want you and you end up alone. Entitlement at its best.
    LikeDisagree 14 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      *Says all the young guys*

    • You're the same age as me xD

    • Anonymous

      Young (guys.) Just don't get it... Take an example from the opinion of Thor696

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • stegocanop
    "Men who are in it only for sex" - True, some are.

    "Most guys move on once she shows interest" - That literally never happens.

    "Men who take advantage of a woman's kindness" - True, but you have to be really dumb to not recognise one.

    "To single out the Losers who give up easily" - Or maybe they just think you're not interested, don't want to force themselves on you, and move on.

    You sound very immature, entitled, and selfish. I wouldn't bother to chase you either, to be honest.
    LikeDisagree 26 People
    • Anonymous

      Happens to me all the time

    • Anonymous

      To single out the lower who give up easily obviously you didn't read or understand that part... There's principles behind actions, and when you love or want someone you don't just let them go b over simple things

    • Amen. She doesn't know what she's talking about.

    • Show All
  • JSmuve
    "Many men string women along for years just to get [sex]." Then it looks like you're going to have some massive trust issues.

    "Most guys move on once she shows interest- This happens a lot although many guys say they want woman to approach, so that they don't have to, woman do approach, and when they do, the guy repels. It turned out this particular guy wanted the chase." Not true. He could've found you uninteresting and lost interest in you, or you weren't attractive enough. Both of which could've happened if he approached you.

    "Men who take advantage of a woman's kindness- My sisters boyfriend says on the phone "I'm just living with her until I get on my feet" many men, mooch of their girlfriends so they stay bouncing relationship to the next, for a place to stay, to be fed and have clothes washed. While you might not be the type this is what woman face." Then the girl is a poor judge of character if this is happening to her.

    "To single out the Losers who give up easily" Well aren't you such a nice person, calling all the people who aren't sure if you're interested and don't approach losers.

    All I hear is a lot of complaining and excuses but did you ever stop to think that playing hard to get might be counterproductive? Do you even know HOW to play hard to get? Do you know HOW to get a guy to approach you? Do you know HOW to get a chasing you? Do you know HOW to keep a guy interested in you long-term? Or do you just hide behind these excuses that allow you to sit on your ass and blame guys because, paraphrasing you, most of us are sex-fiends or losers who'll mooch off you and leave once you show a hint of interest?
    LikeDisagree 9 People
    • Anonymous

      You're the one who were initially interested not me. ..

    • Anonymous

      This isn't about making him chase you, I don't know why you don't guys don't get that, you seem to turn everything on yourselves

    • Yes it's about seeing if someone is sincere or not, not chasing. If a guy truly is a nice person at his core, he will act with some kindness.

  • OfAfricandescent
    The obvious flaw in playing hard to get, is that the great man who isn't interested in playing games moves on. As a guy it seems to me that playing hard to get limits your options. You're basically hoping that there is a great man out there who will approach you and go along with your 'hard to get' game.
    The user who goes by the name Frost_Byt3 touched on this on his post.
    Like 8 People
    • kitty71

      So you are saying a woman should never approach a guy? What about flirt and tease is that bad too?

    • Jmarx

      This a thousand times this.

    • Suhmer

      well thats a really tough thing to hear, because last time a guy told me i didn't "play the game" and i got my heart broke as a result because this guy just thought i was easy. im not a fan of games, i think its dumb, and i will be straight-forward. if i want to hang out i'll arrange for us to hang out. if i want to talk, i'll talk to you. but by doing that i got my heart stamped all over.
      so now im gonna HAVE to play a bit more hard to get so im not so easily hurt next time... but you saying that might scare off a guy who LIKE ME doesn't want to play games. but thats so FEW men out there, i dont know if its worth having my heart broke a few more times just to find out it was a bad decision afterwards. dating is a fucking chore :(

    • Show All
  • HikerDude
    This is an important take, but not for the reasons the author intended. This take is actually important because it highlights the very reasons why there's so much trouble between guys and girls today, and why so many people remain single and socially stunted well into their 20s.

    The current generation of girls has been raised to believe that they're special, so special that they should accept nothing and no one that they feel is beneath them in life. This is the you-can-be-anything-you-want movement. The consequences of this trend are stark.

    Girls today tend to look down their noses at most guys. We've been denigrated in the media and in academia to the point that girls truly believe they're superior to the vast majority of guys. I hear girls spouting nonsense all the time about how girls mature faster, and have better verbal skills, and are more conscientious, and more successful, and cleaner, etc, etc. It's gets really old, and it's pretty sexist to boot. Imagine if a guy went around ticking off all the reasons guys are superior to girls. He'd be lambasted and branded a sexist without question.

    The result of all this are the 'lazy' guys you note. They're 'lazy' not because they value women less, but because women value them less. Why would any guy prostrate and sacrifice himself for a person who looks down on him? Only a total masochist would do this to himself.

    So this take really describes the world through the self-focused lens of a girl who's been denied what she feels is her birthright. There isn't much empathy toward men in anything the author wrote, which is the principal reason the author probably is and will remain single.
    LikeDisagree 7 People
    • Anonymous

      You guys are ridiculous, I don't see how to take the title only read that. And completely disregard the, whole take, this proves that this generation does not listen! Women get disrespected played and flopped and we're spoiled. .. I am so done with guys...

    • Anonymous

      Never once did I sat anything about chivalry, and paying for dates, as far as I'm concerned if paying is such a pain for you stop choosing expensive places, that cost money

    • Anonymous

      This also proves that the self - focused lens is on these sensitive males

    • Show All
    For a lot of guys, they're told to just back off if a girl says no, which makes your logic troubling. Most guys don't want to get in trouble for sexual harassment, so they take no to mean no. Playing hard to get just makes things worse for everyone.
    Like 12 People
    • True, not many guys want to risk being arrested for some stranger who might be playing hard to get.

    • This kept me single all my life. I was TERRIFIED that if I ever made a move, however innocent, that she'd yell and go cry harassment and my life would be over.

    • Anonymous

      Go ahead. ..

  • tashasei
    I don't agree with "playing" anything, I hate all of these games that dating contains. Although I do understand why it could be misinterpreted that a woman may be playing "hard to get" when she simply has her guard up for some of these reasons (men who only want sex, men not interested in something more serious).
    LikeDisagree 11 People
  • sanloveshorror
    Finally someone said this! well done you may have received a lot of criticism from some butthurt guys but it's something most of the times happens to me and my friends. Some of this may not be for everyone but the 2nd point you mentioned is so freakin true.

    If guys can mention write stuff about anti feminism and other stuff which criticizes the female population, then why not girls too?
    LikeDisagree 12 People
    • Anonymous

      Maybe if I change the title they wouldn't be so mad, air heads lol they don't listen

  • Transigence
    I appreciate the insight to the shitty side of dating for women. Some of those seem like legitimate grievances, others are not particular to the female side of dating.

    The rest of it boils down to, "We're the prize, you're not. You do the work, we'll pick the winners." It's part of why I don't respect women so much so automatically.
    Like 5 People
    • babu_001

      Yeah. They think they are too special because they have a vagina.

    • BigJake

      "It's part of why I don't respect women so much so automatically."

      I couldn't have stated it better. Most women carry a haughty air of superiority about them, and it's very immature and off-putting. So many of them were treated as precious little princesses when they were young that they've grown up expecting men to cater to them to the extreme. It's not an adult mentality, and that's why I don't really respect it at all. I respect women who express their own agency and don't expect men to act as their valets.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe I should change the title then you'd listen

  • jacquesvol
    A woman who doesn't play hard to get is labeled 'slut'.
    LikeDisagree 66 People
    • Diputs

      Interesting reaction. 3 thumbs up: all women. 4 thumbs down: all men.

    • Suhmer

      @Diputs sooo true though. @dudeman by not playing games I've just had guys play games with me. Where I lost a guy last time a few guys told me i "made myself too available and guys like the chase. in this instance he just got you and didn't have to work for it, thats why he lost interest"
      and because of the hurt i got from that, and him confirming it by saying to me "i didn't even have to TRY and pull you..." that yeah. thats gonna stick with me and im gonna be forced to play games so that im not hurt like that again. its not "dumb bitches" i was dumb BEFORE. now im wising up to how to be a little more.

    • Sorry, but that's bullshit. Usually the ones that play more games tend to be sluttiest cause they want all that attention and thrive from it.

    • Show All
  • loveisbeautiful
    I can't say I agree or disagree with the other things on this list, but I do have a problem with the first one. The first one is "men who are only in it for the sex", then you say " Many men string women along for years just to get it". I seriously have to disagree with that, if a man is only in it for the sex and nothing else. Do you really think he's going to spend years of his life on one woman just to get sex? If he truly just wants sex, he ain't going to wait years. He's going to wait a few months if that and if nothing happens, then he'll move on to the next one. But, no guy who only wants sex is going to spend years carefully stringing a woman along just to get laid and then say "well, I know it's been ten years but we finally screwed so bye". If any man has ever done that, he truly is horrible person. I know men like sex but I don't believe any man is that cruel.

    As for the hard to get part, isn't that just another way of saying "playing games"? I'm not into game playing, it's not easy for me to like a person so when I REALLY like them and I feel it's worth it win or lose, I tell them. But, I don't play hard to get. What's the point in that? You just waste a whole bunch of time, when it could be more wisely spent.
    Like 4 People
    • FatherJack

      You actually DESERVE Editor status for this , very correct post !! Is it any wonder a large & growing number of men are simply opting out of even dating?

    • @FatherJack No, it's not surprising at all. From the things I've seen on here, either gender deciding to opt out of dating is understandable. I just don't get people nowadays.

    • Wow, you completely destroyed this mytake that pretty much all it does it make women look bad if any male actually takes its ranting serious.

  • Bandit74
    I dont mind hard to get girls, as long as they are genuinely hard to get. I dont want to endup fighting for girls affections and waiting 3 months for sex only to find out she has hopped right into bed on the first date with guys she's gotten drunk with at clubs or parties.
    Like 4 People
    • PT1911

      Been on the receiving end of of that. She said I wasn't assertive enough.

      I called her a cunt.

    • Bandit74

      Realistically I think its really rare to meet a girl who always has sex right away, but I think its almost equally rare to meet a girl who never has sex right away.

      Even if a girl make you wait 2 months for sex, chances are high that she's had sex on the first date with at least 1 or 2 guys in the past. So regardless of if she's easy for you, she's probably been easy for other guys in the past.

    • PT1911

      It was just the concept, I actually liked her and wanted a real relationship. She turned me down fair enough, but then complained wht the guy she mer on a bus and fucked later wouldn't call her the next day.

    • Show All
  • spuitkaas
    My main reason is the second thing you've mentioned, but really playing hard to get is not the solution. You kinda have to move it back and forth. Like you show your interest and then if you think he's interested you kinda just let him take a step. And then if he took a step you can take a step again. Don't step back if he takes a step but just stand still and be neutral. You know what I mean?
    Like 7 People
  • higgsboson
    I don't chase women. I had a woman I really like lead me on for 6 months, saying she could not decide between me and another guy she was dating. Turns out, she actually was in love with a 3rd guy, and was snowing us all (as well as her ex-husband). Bad people ruin it for every gender.
    Like 2 People
    • Anonymous

      You shouldn't date girls, who keep their options, after a few dates a girl should be interested enough to drop those other guys...

  • rthomas43
    I'd say this is less of a useful article for guys, and more of mirror up to the face of women as a whole.

    Get off the pedestal, ladies.
    LikeDisagree 18 People
  • godfatherfan
    Wow, what a complete load of horseshit.
    1) All men are in it for sex. Women are in it for sex MORE then men, they just play coy and don't want to admit it. But most guys are in it for more then just sex. The ones worth keeping are going to admire the woman a thousand times more for sleeping with him when it is the right time, even if that is the first date, rather then waiting some predetermined time. Playing games, which is what "playing hard to get" is, is a quick way to have a guy tell you to go fuck yourself.
    2) Women do this shit WAY more then guys. As soon as you start to get serious they run because women are afraid of commitment.
    3) You cannot possibly be trying to say men come anywhere even remotely close to the same level of Women mooching off sugar daddies. I won't even give this one the time of day...
    4) you can tell by the 2nd date who is there just for sex. Nowadays is not like when I was young. with text, Skype, the freaking INTERNET, et al... your on your 5th date before you even meet for your first date.
    I met a woman on Tinder. We started texting. and texting. it was intense and even though we couldn't make our schedules work for 5 days to meet for a date, we must have chatted for 3-5 hrs a night each night.. we got DEEP into each others past. SHE was the one the brought up sex and other things. SHE suggested we cancel our date and just meet for sex instead. 100% true, I walked in the door, said hello, she dropped to her knees and was blowing me not 90 seconds from me walking in the door. Had that been the only time I met her it would have been a really nice night. but we dated a month and a half. I just wasn't ready and she lived a little too far away. But she was awesome and i admired her for doing what she wanted to do.
    Like 3 People
  • asiag299
    Honestly the reason why this is even a debate is due to the feminists movement. I'm not a feminists and I couldn't care less about what they are fighting for so that being said I expect my dates to be paid for. Now if the woman is some whore or is vying for all her 'rights' then me as a man I would not pay. You're not going to argue me down about how women need this and that and how the system needs to change and then turn around and expect me to pay. You don't like the way it used to be then you are not allowed to like this tradition either period. That's how i feel about it like you're not going to hit me with some chivalry needs to be done away with or that it's dead and expect me to pay. If I was on a date with a girl like that I wouldn't pay either. On the other hand I probably wouldn't have taken a girl like that out in the first place as I'm sure it wouldn't be fun. All I'm saying is I agree with the old ways I'm traditional and i don't mind being underneath a man and letting him be head of the household. What feminists seem to forget when people say what I said though is this it's my decision! Feminists love to call people a slave or delusional when we want to be under our husband or partner. That's my choice the people who actually need feminists are the ones in other countries who are not free to make their own decisions instead it is forced upon them. They are killed, raped, and beaten we in the U. S choose this life because we want it if you want to fight so bad go fight for the rights as well. Those women are the ones who need it. Anyways I want to serve my man so it's only fair for him to pay for me. I expect my man to be a provider and a head to my household if I'm dating you I see potential and if you'e not paying I'm going to assume you can't be the head of my household. I'm waiting until marriage so my future husband better be ready to pay for my dates considering the fact that he's getting a prize. I also will not be working once we get married so a stable job is necessary as well. P. S this is not a bash to women who lost their virginity unwillingly although for the others who did it willingly before marriage *side eye* Also let me also state that I have a job now and I'm also in college courses although I'm getting ready to travel the world :)
    LikeDisagree 4 People
    • I really respect how non hypocritical your views are. I can respect a woman that makes her own way in the world, and I can respect a woman that is traditional, but I can't respect the women that want to mix and match everything so they have the benefits of both, and the responsibilities of neither. You don't seem to be mixing and matching anything in order to give yourself an advantage the way a lot of people do.

    • asiag299

      @heavensgift2girls right like I don't care if you want to be a feminist but if you are going to be one then don't expect anything from the traditional ways. It's either one or the other you can't benefit from both because it isn't fair to men. I'm traditional and I plan to stick that way I'm not going to take pointers from the feminist movement and then still expect the man to hold the door for me and pay for me on a date because it's not fair. To me there really is no in between for this because it wouldn't be fair. Thanks for the reply too :)

  • heavensgift2girls
    Guys are not losers for giving up on a girl. lol A man that feels desperate will just waste his time chasing after a woman that clearly doesn't feel the same way. A confident man will simply move on and find a woman that does show interest in him.

    There is a difference between trying to make a relationship work, and chasing after a girl that doesn't act like she wants a relationship. Besides if she is playing hard to get then she clearly isn't demonstrating that she isn't willing to try and make things work herself, so that would be a huge double standard for her to have.

    Women play hard to get for three main reasons. They like men that act aloof and out of her league because this shows confidence, so women assume guys will like the same thing. We don't. We like girls that show interest, but are also don't come across as desperate either. You can take anything to an extreme. Only desperate guys and players will keep trying to impress her. Desperate men don't think they have many other options, and players see it as part of a game. Normal guys will just move on. The second reason women play hard to get is because having some guy chase after her feeds her ego. The third reason is because the woman doesn't feel confident enough to be honest with her emotions.

    "Ps. I will approach a shy guy I like, after I'm 100% sure he liked me, by then he would've gave up, and became the loser who didn't approach..."

    Do you really not see the hypocrisy in those words? If he was 100% sure you liked him then he would have approached. You give up on men when they don't meet your expectations, and men give up on you, when you don't meet their expectations. You aren't any different than the men you are looking down on. It sounds like you have some really unhealthy views about men.
    Like 1 Person
  • BigJake
    You can make up whatever reasons you want to make yourself feel better, but your choices are your own. Don't try to blame them on men and tell us that we're the reason for all the problems in your life. That's a mark of immaturity.
    Like 4 People
    • Anonymous

      Maybe I should change the title, then you would understand

    • No, but a nice tall glass of "Grow the fuck up" wouldn't hurt.

  • Strider90
    This is so stupid and recently I had a conversation with a young girl who's an attention whore and an older married woman saying that we men should try again and again no matter if we get signs of interest or not. Sorry sister, but we won't bother too much if you don't show any signs of interest and the answer we get is most times a cold ''No.'' at least most countries here in Europe. The only girls I have seen to be more open for a date are UK girls.
    Like 2 People
    • Anonymous

      Maybe I should change the title then you'd understand

    • Strider90

      With all you posted?

      ''This happens a lot although many guys say they want woman to approach, so that they don't have to, woman do approach, and when they do, the guy repels. It turned out this particular guy wanted the chase.''

      Biggest lie ever. I could go on and on.

  • Bookwik
    Another man-hater making excuses for not making a move... say hi to your 28 cats for me kthnx
    LikeDisagree 9 People
    • Anonymous

      I am starting to hate guys... I prefer traditional and a guy who prefers traditional, I don't disagree with approaching a guy first but I'm also not going to hand anyone my heart. Just found that the guy who was flirting with me for year straight doesn't truly like me he's an attention whore and he does the same to my friends, tried approaching him... Another guy who initially showed interest I wasn't physically attracted to i liked him anyways, got to know him more and he cursed me out for a year straight. ... At least cats clean after themselves

    • BigTuna

      I think I should stay off this site for a while. Seeing first hand how irrational a large portion of females are is slowly driving me to become sexist, and basically confirming the beliefs I already had after my previous relationship ended. I guess the good thing is, the more I read here, the less I will respect women which will probably make them more attracted to me, not being as nice. LOL.

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