When I first started my journey to the world of online dating, I was too excited. Can you imagine a person who got out of a relationship over a year prior, without a touch from the opposite sex, having meals alone, watching movies by yourself, and going to family functions without that revolutionary plus one? Well, I am here to tell you, that was me, for a while trying to get over my last relationship; hoping to move on and start living life again. A friend told me to try online dating and for over one year I have been totally immersed in this cybernetic, super information entendre of cyber sex, love and interest.
I started with interest because if you're like me, you like the vegetables first before the meat, just to get it out of the way…but furthermore it’s so healthy for you, INTEREST, for it is the key factor in any situation when it comes to dating. So you have read my previous GAG Article concerning online dating, and have built this awesome profile, with three great photographs, and a light and funny paragraph about yourself. You have sifted through the files and files of hopeful suitors and now it's time to communicate. So what does one say?
I have read countless profiles, and found what is helpful is to actually READ what she had to say, and asking a question right off the bat, from her interest. I have found that if you start off saying Hi, Hey, Hello, What’ up? What’s good? They may solicit a response, statistically 33% of women respond, but may not respond back, but if you are a guy finding her interest maybe as simple as taking time to ask a question. This is the time you need to be like that detective “The dark knight” and know what your dealing with. Besides it makes her feel you actually had time to read what she wrote, therefore giving her a great impression that you are in fact interested in her mind. For Example:
Him: “So you like MMA, me too! That fight against Holly and Mesha came down to the last minute, do you think Holly had the fight?”
Her: “Yeah, totally if she would have kept her distance….
Him: “It would have been fun to watch it with you…”
Her: “Yeah that would be cool!”
Him: “Well fight night is every Thursday at the FOX and Hound, would love for you to join me.”
“Cool it’s a date.”
It can be that simple trust me…However, many women have expressed that they feel guys tend to just look at the picture, and not read information that may help determine if they want to continue on with the process of dating. Then when the date actually happens men realize that their not interested.
There are plenty of people with profiles that display disclaimers like I am a transgender, or I have three children or a handicap. If you don’t read, you might be wasting the other person’s time.
Statistically, women read more than men, for some odd reason they are a little more prepared and will generally start a conversation by a simple greeting, “Hi liked your profile, I’d like to know more?”
In some cases, if the attraction is really there from the pictures, it doesn’t matter really how you greet, he or she will want to meet you just because you’re hot!
On occasions you might have profiles from men and women that express that they are not looking for: (A relationship, or is in an open relationship wanting to add flavor, or who doesn’t want anything serious and just want to have fun.) I have also found the occasional; I just want friends plastered on a woman’s profile as well. These clues my intuitive friends, are markers for men and women who just want SEX.
I can hear most of you cringe and murmur when you read this but the painstaking truth, is Wisengruber has put these theory’s to the test, I am here to tell you that not only am I the president but I am also a client. (Smile.)
What I mean by this, is I have dated all kinds of girls and found that when she says she doesn’t want anything serious, that’s exactly what she means, unless you can somehow change her mind…. And that’s another article all together, because it can happen, trust me!
More women are now thinking like a man! Women are more free with their desires and inhabitations then ever before, and it is partially because they are tired of getting hurt, so like men they view sex as something to free themselves and make them feel good. Why am I talking about this? Well, to simply put it, online dating, especially sites like Tinder and POF are synonymous for having the most sexual hook up ratios on the planet. Some of you may not be in the market for a relationship, maybe you are hoping sex can manifest into one, or it maybe that you just want more notches on your belt. If this is you, looking for profiles like the ones that I have listed above for you, then maybe these sites could be one of your options.
I for one don’t like to start off any conversations with sexual jokes, or promises of mind blowing sex. I for one don’t use the internet to find women to get in the bed with; it is simply not my thing. I am not judging anyone who does; it’s just not my cup of tea. In fact I hate tea! More of a coffee guy in the morning next to my beloved….Sappy I know but just saying. For me sex should be organic, spontaneous if it’s going to happen, I don’t need to talk about it by sexting or sending pictures of “Mr. Bo jangles.” However, to be fair, these dating sites do have people who are interested in this and will use their profiles to gain that attention. So if you are not the type for this, do be careful and READ the profiles PLEASE!!!
Ah, so love is a difficult subject to write about, especially when it comes to online dating, because LOVE unlike SEX does not have a prerequisite for physical entanglement. To clarify many people will have sex with you, even if they don’t like you. Sorry to say I have had sex with women that I really wasn’t attracted to physically. This confused her into believing I was in love with her and wanted more, and at that time that was far from the truth.
I know Bad Wisengruber!
If a person is not into you, but has sex with you, you probably would never know until, you want to get closer, with the person by moving in, putting titles on the relationship and meeting family. Many have mistaken sex in exchange for LOVE and that is totally bad. So up front clear this with your potential suitor.
On the flip side, I have read profiles that express they are looking to settle down, start a family, find their best friend, soul mate etc… if you are new to dating on the web you may want to be cognizant of this and know that mostly these key words indicate marriage and or commitment. Can one find love and marriage using online dating? Sure I know several people who found marriage, rather they are still married is another article all together but yes you can. I believe it’s a lot easier to find someone who is willing and ready because if you are READING the profiles and that person is attracted to you because you have posted awesome photos of yourself, and not Brad Pitt, and have a positive bio and or personality, then you are well on your way.
See if I went to the grocery store, and I saw a really beautiful woman, now in days women are wearing work out clothes, tight leotards forming to their bodies as if it had been painted on. She had long hair flowing down to her back and face like an angel, with every step my eyes bounced in my head, and her ass was so tight you could bounce a quarter off of it and get change back…she turned around saw me looking and smiled, as she held cucumbers in her soft manicured hands…
(Think about for a minute.)
Okay so she is in the produce aisle and you gather enough strength and courage to talk to her not knowing who she is and what she wants. You stroll to her basket look inside her shopping cart and start a conversation. As you are about to find out her name, and ask her for her number, her husband walks up, looking angry with a clinched fist and now you have to pretend that you are the store manager wanting to know if her shopping experience was satisfactory… you exit stage left freaking embarrassed and give up on talking to women unless she is online.
Online dating categorizes those who are looking for what, you maybe looking for, its all there: I’m single looking for a husband, or wife, got two kids, might want more, have a job I make x amount of dollars, lets meet for coffee and see where it goes.
I can say sadly that there are pretenders who say they want all these things but they want SEX, they are married and didn’t tell you, yep, they promised you the white picket fence but left you naked with the window open, wondering if they will ever return. Sadly this will never go away, however I believe if you use some of the principle listed above you may have a better fighting chance.
In conclusion the purpose of this article was really to help people consciously think about really what they want to get out of internet dating and not be under any illusions as to how the world works. If you have been married for years and now divorced seeking relationships as if was before you married; you will hard pressed to find it.
The times have changed and so has dating. It has evolved and will continue to. I hope people can be honest because I sense there is still good people on the internet looking for real results, and come up short because of dishonest people, and people who don’t READ!!! Take the time to be honest in your profile, about what you seek, and let the chips fall where they may.
For more articles like this please follow me. If you have any questions about my dating experiences feel free to message me on GAG and as all ways happy hunting and happy READING.