Cyber Girls and Guys
What you need to know about online dating
So you want to online date? So did I, and for a year and a half, I have put many websites to the test. I have been on many dates in the past year, and have gained quite the knowledge of how things work. I have met many people who ask me about how to improve on their online dating experience. I have also met people who just did not trust online dating at all. Either way I feel it is very important to understand the process of online dating before you actually start making a profile.
The commercials give you that grand feeling that if you join this online dating website, you will eventually find the woman or man of your dreams, get swept off your feet, and then get married. For some, this is true, but according to a national study, only 17% of the couple who meet online actually get married. That being said, online dating has been a cornerstone in the fast-pace, instant gratification, cyber world we live in today. The reason I began online dating was simple, I have a very busy and complex lifestyle; and going out to clubs and stalking women at the grocery store is really not an option. My excuse maybe true for most people aswell, and for others it maybe that their too chicken shit to step up to a person and ask them out. Either way, I believe that online dating is not only helpful, but amusing as well. The key points that I have written are not only helpful if you have questions about online dating, but also if you have been at this for awhile and need a fresh perspective. Having said that, if you have had bad luck with your online experience and need to know why, you did not get the responses you desired then keep reading, and I should be able to shed some light on the matter.
HAVE A GREAT PROFILE PICTURE
Having a great picture can go along way when it comes to grabbing the attention of any suitor. When you are thinking about online dating you have to have the mind set that you are a salesperson trying to buy the attention of a potential customer. Essentially you are trying to sale yourself and when you are doing so, you have to put your best foot forward. When you think about buying a service from a business most people tend to choose an agent, doctor, mechanic etc. As customer you should be looking for a clean presentable building, professional uniforms, commercials and billboard with clear pictures, that display their professional services. Plenty of times I have took my camera phone and tried millions of angles, and snapped away. Most of them were dark, blurry, and just not good quality; you couldn’t really see my face. This is bad! However, I have read plenty of articles that would suggest professional pictures will increase my dating potential. So I had my sister in law take some pictures for me. They were clean, and clearer than the ones I took with my camera phone. Since then, my dating emails and online visitors have increased by 75%. I went from having two emails a week, to having eight emails a week. I went from having one date a month, to having four dates a month.
I have looked at hundreds of women online and noticed that the women who had photos taken professionally got my attention. I like looking at the details of a woman’s ascetics because attraction is a key factor. The saying goes, the devil is in to details. Also, it showed me that they were very serious about online dating, and they cared about how they presented themselves. For men statically (72%) of women won’t even bother looking at your profile if your picture is not clear. The mistake that most men make is taking pictures with their hat, and glasses on, it makes the woman feel like they are hiding something. Another mistake is men and women taking pictures shirtless, or presenting photos that are compromising. Studies show pictures such as these turns them off or sends the wrong message. When a person takes pictures showing the areola of the nipple, they tend to attract the wrong attention. I have seen pictures of women in night gowns, and then in their profile they say exclusively: “I am not looking for a one night stand, so if you just want sex move it along!” The saying goes, a picture says thousand words, and it does. If you want good quality suitors find a professional photographer or someone who is really good with a digital camera and get three good pictures, fully clothed.
I suggest a photo of you dressed up professionally. Also try one where you are doing some type of activity, like lifting weights or running. Next find a pet, and take picture with something cute, make sure you have the camera guy get a close up on your face; if you do this you will increase your responses from potential suitors.
HAVE A SHORT BUT SWEET SYNOPSIS
Having a great photograph is important, once he or she looks at your picture and decides that they are in to you, they will move on to the profile. This is true for half of the subjects who online date… Like I said before, the photograph and attractiveness is a key factor. However there are a few of us who read profiles, and this is important to us who are looking for certain qualities in people. Your profile should be simple, sweet and short. According to a professional love Guru, Doc Love, you should keep it light and funny, a paragraph at best.
In my experience I have read profiles from gorgeous women, and after reading them I was turned off. I have stayed away from women who put their whole life story on their profile page or those who have nasty attitudes. I want to discover you slowly. I don’t want to read a freaking novel when I finally get around to your profile. Another thing that I saw that I hate and most men who I have talked to agree, is when women comes off stand offish from the first few sentences of their profile. For example: (First of all if you are reading this, it means you like me, and have some sort of interest. If that interest is sex then you need to move it along because I am not about having a one night stand. Furthermore I have kids…that’s right kids if you can’t handle that then STOP now!!! They are my life and they come first…so now we got through that, hello!)
This type of message shows male suitor that you have baggage and will be negative. Your attitude here suggest that you are not tactful enough to say what’s on your mind in a nice way, therefore the relationship will be riddled with many arguments.
On the opposite side of the coin, I have spoke with women and what they tend to hate is when men don’t say much at all. Furthermore, misspell words or use improper English. This is a major turn off and will get you fired before you were even hired.
Another major mistake is when men are vague. They are not upfront about what they want in a relationship or come off too brash and cocky. For Example: I am fun loving active and courageously romantic and if you are not blonde fit and know how to handle a man, then I won't respond to your emails. I have a lot to offer and no one will give you the thrill of your life like I can, so ladies let the games began.) If I was a woman reading that I’d be ready to hurl!
My suggestion is to greet them nicely, tell them that you are excited about dating and take it very seriously, and will be looking forward to meeting new people in the future. If you want good responses try and be positive, do not write in your profile negative comments such as this “Well, I don’t really like online dating, it’s creepy and I think it’s lame, but anything is possible.” Yes I have read this from an actual profile. Gross!
UNDERSTAND THAT ONLINE DATING IS A NUMBERS GAME.
In the conclusion of this article I want to sincerely highlight particular truths about online dating. The first and foremost particular is that online dating is a numbers game. Simply the more you put into it, the more you will get out of it. You can not expect that you will put your profile out there and get hundreds of qualified suitors. For men, you may get very fewer emails than your female counter part. Statistically women average thirty to one hundred emails in a week. This is because men make up about 75% of the online dating population. Men have been known to send at least several emails to the same woman in the same week, in hopes that his frequent messaging will gain her attention. The painstaking truth is most women, get exhausted with so many emails that they only look for those messages from men, she finds attractive. That is why your profile picture needs to be “On Point.”
For men you need to understand that you may not get responses from women if you send out one email to one girl. Furthermore, you need to broaden your search to 30-60 miles from where you live. In my personal dating journal I have found that statistically I average about eight emails a week. This is after sending out twenty emails to twenty different women. Out of those eight emails, only five agree to meet with me for coffee, and out of that five, an average of two actually show up.
Online dating is good for the busy professional; it allows you to pick and choose from a database of people who display some of the same qualities that you hope to find in a mate. However, with anything it becomes a chore after awhile and what you put into it, is what you get out of it. Be patient, use multiple sites, be positive, and please have fun. If you have any questions about my article and or about my dating experiences please send me a email on GAG and I will get back with you. Thanks for reading.
Most Helpful Opinions
I have done online dating at two different times. 2008-2008, and in 2015. The first time, I eventually found a lady who I married. W eventually got divorced but that was unrelated to the fact that I met her online. Currently, I have been dating a woman for 10 months; we met online. Before meeting her, I had about 12 meetings/first dates that went nowhere.
All of the points you made are valid considerations. I have found that, as women get older and more successful, they expect your profile to be well constructed. They do not want to see misspelled words, bad grammar, or disorganized ramblings.
Understanding the numbers game is most important for guys. You can't expect to send one email and get a date. I averaged 10-15 emails per week and I usually had one date per week with a new lady. And. . . if anyone gets discouraged by the numbers, you need to remember: if you are looking for The One, you only need to find one person. As soon as you find The One, and you both realize that, the dating game is over.