Men, This is Why We Don't Want to Date You (Page 2)

[meatballs21]

Dear Anonymous Troll,

Here I am dignifying your shit with an answer it does not deserve.

"You Won't Pay For The Girl On The First Date!"
Sets the tone for the relationship? Sets you up as a gold digger/cheapskate too.

"You Take Forever to Respond to Calls/ Messages or Respond With 1 Word Answers!"
We have a life of our own, you're not our girlfriend yet. AAAAaaaaaand, you don't want us getting too clingy:

"You Are Too Clingy/Not Clingy Enough!"
We can't guess at how much attention you want.

"You Are Too Pushy For Sex!"
At least you know we're interested in you, right? Saves you posting an 'OMG DOES HE LIEK ME' question here.

[bobbyxx]

Lol..

[Fearless_banana]

Just wanted to say I do all of those things and women still want to date me.

I don't pay for her meal. That would suggest that she's doing me a favor. Women are more than capable of working and paying their own meal.

Truth in reality women don't really want guys tip toeing around these rules of yours. That will actually turn pussies dry.

[BubbleBoy69]

Didn't you say in another question you had a 2.3 inch penis?

[Fearless_banana]

@BubbleBoy69 2.3 and a half boyo. Get your shit straight. I'm huge.

[blondfrog]

you make up for it with your body that's why.

[10dsw]

Ahh here we go... more anti-male ranting.

No guy should be paying for a first date in 2016. Does it sound a bit harsh? Admittedly, yes. However the idea that a man should pay for every first date is 1950's-esque.

With the advent of online dating there are plenty of women who have no intention of starting a relationship with men and who only go on dates for free food. As an example: my sister's best friend uses Bumble and openly brags about how she gets $500 worth of free food off of random guys.

Moreover, there was a time where I was going on first dates almost once a week over a period of a year (girls that I met online). If I were to spend $50 for each one of these dates that would amount to over $2600 a year.

I don't know on what planet this would be affordable to a college student... please open your eyes to the realities of the dating world from a man's point of view.

Anyhow, not trying to come across as harsh.

[cheeseysouffle]

I completely disagree with you. I think I disagree with you because our idea of a first date are completely different.

My first date idea is a cup of coffee or maybe a pot of tea at the local tea house which both are below $10 total. I'll offer to pay but I expect the guy to be able to pick up the tab.

Now if a guy takes me out to a fancy place, I'll make sure I have enough cash on hand to buy my meal even if I can't afford it. Why should I expect to pick up the tab if I don't even know if I didn't pick out the place?

General rule of thumb: first date is small like coffee and the guy should pay. After that, whoever plans out the dare should be expected to cover the cost. If you want to see a movie, and I have 0 money, why should I pay?

[10dsw]

@cheeseysouffle "completely disagree", "but I expect the guy", "Why should I expect to pick up", "why should I pay".

And I'm expected to spend money on this attitude?

[cheeseysouffle]

Oh so I'm completely wrong that if a guy took me out to a place that I can't afford I should still be expected to pay for it?

[AriadneSky]

@cheeseysouffle

this is why you should ask guys out and plan your dates. that way no surprises and you control how much things cost.

[10dsw]

@AriadneSky I appreciate the logical input

[cheeseysouffle]

@AriadneSky every time I make the first move I end up with a guy who is either too clingy for me or serious issues. One of the first dates I went out on, the guy couldn't afford it and so I ended up having to shell out $50. It turns out he asked his parents to loan him money for the date.

It leaves a sour taste in your mouth. If a guy can't be fiscally responsible to plan out a cheap date, he's not mature enough for me.

[cheeseysouffle]

@AriadneSky /especially/ when a local coffee shop charges $5 for an entire pot of tea and gives you one free refill.

[tyber1]

@cheeseysouffle "why should I pay?" If a guy isn't able to pay for a date, he is told he shouldn't be dating. Same for women. If you candle afford a date you shouldn't be on one.

[cheeseysouffle]

@tyber1 dude. Movie tickets cost $25 where I'm from versus $5 for a pot of tea and refills that lasts about 1 hour between people. If you can't afford to go do something, there are cheaper options.

What if the guy made sandwiches and we ate them ag a local park? That's like less than $4 and I'm talking the nice sandwich meat. It's about being smart with your money. Is it wrong to want a guy who knows how to have a good time without spending money?

[10dsw]

@cheeseysouffle You're asking if it's wrong that a guy can't have fun without spending money but on the same token you're demanding men spend money on you.

You're either retarded or a troll.

[cheeseysouffle]

I'm saying if he is going to spend money, then it's on him. Personally most of my first date activities I like have 0 money involved. My fondest memories of the last guy I dated is that he would pick me up and then we would go out and just talk about how our day was.

[tyber1]

@cheeseysouffle if it's inconsequential then why do you care at all? Obviously you shouldn't mind chipping in 2 or 3 bucks for coffee.

[FashionQueen86]

Hmm, I'm like half the respondents; that first one threw me off. If I were in the situation, I'd have money on me anyway. Guys are not all the same who believe they should always be the one to pay. If he insist on paying, I'll at least chip in with the tip, or pay for his dinner on the next date. You talk about investing int he first date. What are YOU doing to show that you are also investing as well?

The second one about the cell phone is understandable, then again what specific time frame IS too long? I find that women freak out over this a lot. Maybe to a guy, not responding within a certain time is not a big deal or so threatening.

Being pushy for sex is a SUPER DUPER turn off for me. I'm the type that wouldn't give it up easily, whether it's the first, second, or third. I want to make sure I REALLY get to know him at least.

[Luci92]

Your points are valid, however I really disagree with your first point about 'investment' or the man insisting on paying, like, who cares? Just split the goddamn bill or pay for what you ate and be done with it.

[yucel_eden]

phew.

At least one girl disagrees with that. Was starting to get worried lol

[Luci92]

@yucel_eden Haha yeah I don't understand why girls insist the man pay... it's just ridiculous tbh

[yucel_eden]

Not that I'm for splitting. I don't let girls pay in the first date, it's just how I am.

But to suggest girls get turned off if we don't isn't the right way forward. I mean if your future with a person is down to £20 then why bother.

My first ever date, I got to the cinema after her as I was working before, so she bought everything before I even got there. I told her off but, she didn't care

[Luci92]

@yucel_eden Exactly, everyone has their own preference, but I don't think it's right to expect the other person to pay.

[feminismisnarcissism]

that got you a follow :)

[Luci92]

@feminismisnarcissism Haha cheers :)

[summerfox]

Haha I'm just randomly joining in but I agree with you two whole heartedly!

[Luci92]

@summerfox Yup haha, good on you

[vintagegirl90]

I agree with half of these.. if you're too stingy to pay for me on a date, I can honestly assure you there won't be a second date and you'll see me making excuses to get out of the date. The pet names are stupid, please save that for further dates that lead to something serious, I have a name and it's not baby, honey, sweetie etc, lol probably easier for you to use this to all the girls you date, since I can't remember their first names. Oh I hate the clingy crap, if I don't message you straight away, please don't send me 5 messages back saying I guess you're not interested, we all have lives too or need breaks from staring at our phones.

[tylerdurden]

You sound like the perfect date!

[Bizzaro_Elmo]

@tylerdurden
... yeah, to leave at the bus stop.

[SimplySuperb]

@Bizzaro_Elmo Lmao fr, Id

[tylerdurden]

@Bizzaro_Elmo I'm guessing you don't get to date much?

[NajemEddine]

-pay for the first date : what about gender equality
-You Take Forever to Respond to Calls/ Messages or Respond With 1 Word Answers! : his world doesn't involve around you people have things to do
-You Are Too Pushy For Sex! : imagine if a women wants sex and he is in the mood she is gonna be crazy and think he is cheating
-You Are Too Clingy/Not Clingy Enough! : is there a clingy meter or indicator
-You Call Me "Baby, Honey, Sweetie its a pet name like you call him dear or baby or whatever
i have a feeling that you are a girl who have never been asked out or have some hate for men or just too needy or you cauld be the worst kind of people

.
.
.
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a FEMINIST (i vomit)

this is why many men are avoiding women and realtionships
you require a lot of care and maintenance

so let me ask you what do u give him in return and dont say love because love doesn't pay the bill.
hypocrisy :p

[feminismisnarcissism]

^^^ this, so much this.

yes we have an entitled girl here. aka feminist/superior girl

[EnigmaStigma]

It's funny how you mention guys paying for the first date and all the guys get all pissed and start throwing out "feminazi" lololol. Feminism is the exact opposite. Feminists don't want guys to pay for shit, they want everything "equal."
This take is about chivalry and manners, plain and simple, it has zero to do with feminism.
Go back to your caves trolls.

[Kitsunen19]

Feminists want equality for both genders
which can and will never happen because the game is always at your advantage... more job opportunities easier life based on looks
weaker bodies meaning less meinual jobs and more mind work.

Without my biase though
Though feminists want equality for both genders
feminazis want it better for women

That is the difference they're calling her a feminazi because she says the guy should have to pay unless she wants to.

Again you have more opportunity easier jobs and I've never seen ANYONE doing the same job getting paid less

I've seen MEN in the service industry get LESS HOURS but never paid more.

[bobbyxx]

Go back to your cage troll and stop sponging off men.

[hellionthesage]

That is inaccurate to an extreme. If feminism was for equality they wouldn't be fighting for more rights for women while downplaying or ignoring the loss of rights of men, many of which where at the hands of feminist.

[bryon]

I have always been one to pay for the date by choice , not just the first one but all ; I wanted you ( the girl ) to spend your time with me , it's the least I can do.
I'm not intending to set the hounds of hell loose here , but with the extent that women's lib has broadened some women's minds and the idea that old fashioned ways are out dated , the idea of who should pay is just simply a grey area.
The fact that I have been with the same wonderful Lady for 20 years is a testament that I do in fact know how to treat a woman well and never hesitate to do so with mine , with that being said ; if I had to start all over looking for a woman I have no doubt by what I have seen recently that I would dine alone quite frenquently as I don't find the lack of older fashioned women appeal to me at all

[MagiAlphaOne]

1. Won't pay for first date. WOW. I'm 56 and grew up watching all Bra Burning in the 1970s and Women wanting Equality. Ladies, you killed Chivalry and got EVERYTHING you asked for. Go "dutch". Start embracing the "equality" that you wanted.

2. "you message me back with 1 word, I am going to assume you're not interested and just move on. If you don't call me back for a week, don't bother calling." Answer: Ladies, don't you see the obvious answer to this? He is OBVIOUSLY not interested and OBVIOUSLY did not call you back.

3. Too pushy for sex. Answer: Ladies, you got everything that you wanted. You can behaved like a Man and sleep around like a Man. The perception today is that Women are no longer "reserved" in their sexual behavior. Those few Ladies that want to remain virgisn are going to get bypassed for the Ladies that will.

4. You Are Too Clingy/Not Clingy Enough! Answer: This is just STUPID! Clinginess is unattractive for everyone.

[glock33sig357]

1. First thing weather you eat or not doesn't concern me and i have no obligation to pay for anything.
2. If your interesting enough a person i will remember your name.
3. The world doesn't revolve around you; we're busy with things in our lives and will not be pressured or rushed into calling you for no good reason at all; plus you're fickle people, you hate when we talk too much/ too little.
4. We love sex (some will be pushy for pussy ) but for me if you say no someone will say yes ( more fish in the sea ) also you go all ape shit if we refuse to have sex with you.
5. The clingly ones you call stalkers and have them arrested and the ones that don't gives no fucks about you end up being the ones calling you a stalker.

[bobbyxx]

Well said.

[Karōshi]

This is actually why guys don't take women like you seriously, if you've got the attitude that we need to pay for you and instantly respond to your messages etc. then we'll just find a girl less shitty, guys with options will anyway. Of course if you're really hot some guys might do that stuff to get in your pants, but the attitude will mean that's all it is, sex... then you'll find yourself realizing the guy doesn't actually give a shit and blame men in general for being assholes. There are tons of demanding, high maintenance bitter women like this and they make the same mistakes over and over.

[FakeName123]

"If you can't invest on the first date, then don't bother investing in the relationship. The first meeting sets the tone, and unless the girl insists on splitting the tab... you should insist on paying."

And how would that not count for the other side as well?

[vonasaurus]

i agree with all but one of these~ the guy should not be stuck with the tab just because he's a guy.

in my opinion, the person who does the asking should at least offer to pay; still, both parties should come prepared to pay for themselves. that way, if it goes bad, no one person is "indebted" to the other (since it's pretty sad that, even in 2016, some people still think paying for the date=you owe them sex).

[hellionthesage]

Reason why men don't want to date women: Entitled and self serving. So him wanting sex is him acting entitled to your body but you wanting his money is perfectly reasonable because "vagina"? Yeah hypocrisy abounds.

[AynonOMouse]

Yep. That sets a tone for the relationship too. A tone of selfishness on her part.

[hellionthesage]

@AynonOMouse Yep. The funny part is I'm not against paying for the first date I think the traditional way of doing things is their for a reason however when its not reciprocated (as she is suggesting) and is completely one sided where the guy is bending over backwards to please her and she is doing nothing in return that's when I have issues. He pays she pays both pay that's fine but if its not even and fair in distribution of resources (whether that be money or other things) then that's when I have an issue. Its the blatent hypocrisy of it that irritates me to no end.

[Bobbyhill1]

everything is understandable except the first date and name calling part. First, its not a obligation for a man to pay for your first date, we do it out of kindness or some may do it because it is ''right'' but here is how I see it. if you are equal do not except special treatment. That is like me ranting about females not paying for the tab. it makes the person seem snobby either way. second, the name calling part like ''honey'' etc may just be a joking matter. Third, if you do not want sex early on in the relationship let that person know what you they are getting into so they can steer left from the start.

[Anonymous]

Well hun think the titles going to put men off to start...
1. I really don't agree with. We're just as capable of earning money as they are. And we'D have just met the guy, why should we expect them to pay? I mean if you intend to see them again you can take it in turns anyway but just meeting it's just setting the tone you want to be a sponge...
2. Probably will agree with that one as I hate most pet names anyway, won't make me dump someone though as that's petty...
3. Maybe they're busy? It works both ways...
4. OK guys are more for this than women ( not saying women don't push) and I agree it's offputting...
5. Think girls are more for that then guys...

[Anonymous]

I have read some of the comments that guys made. Not that I don't agree with most of them, but I can see how outraged you all are about the above comments.
Just one thing from this female. The opinion of the woman above has nothing to do with women in general. Having said that, "some" of the points above also my apply to "some" men. Again, this is a generalization that DOES NOT speak for most women. I don't expect him to pay for me at all unless he insists. The rest of the comments could also apply to women.

[Browneye57]

The FI has put the fix in for you for this. You wanted equality - you got it. Pay for your own shit, open your own door, make your own money.
They don't respond because you're boring and talk too much.
The only reason they're interested in you is if they can bang you.

You and your pals have set the stage. It's going to be up to you to change it. Men are tired of it already, they're done. They don't want to date you either.

So, just what exactly do YOU bring to a relationship? Anything besides the golden vagina? Women have way over valued themselves and now they're whining about how men react, how they're treated. Get over it! It's gonna be a tough row to hoe to find the right one. And then likely you'll get bored and bail on him anyway.

[Mrwoo99]

I'll pay on the first date as long we both sign an agreement/contract declaring I am guranteed sex at my place after supper. 😆

Other than that it's a bad investment of my money because if I'm not making progress with any of the women I am dating then dating numerous women is going to cost a hell of a fortune, especially if I don't get anything back on my behalf. Trust me guys it adds up over time! ... think of it like tax.