Women Seeking Financially Secure Men Are Not Gold Diggers

Women Seeking Financially Secure Men Are Not Gold Diggers

I decided to get back into the dating world and I met this guy on POF- seven weeks age. He was kind, he made me laugh and treated me with respect but I refused to go on a second date with him. Why? You may ask. It was because he was in his mid-20s and absolutely had no stability or consistency in his life. He had a worthless liberal arts degree and hasn't held down a job for more than 12 consecutive months.

I have yet to meet or spoken with a woman that doesn't care if a man is financially stable or not. A woman seeking a financially stable man is NOT a gold-digger. I'm not going to sleep with a guy I've no emotional feelings for so I can have some nice dinners or maybe few lavish shopping sprees. In an age where people enter serious relationships with more financial baggage than ever(student loan debt) it is important to find someone who has a steady source of income.

Women Seeking Financially Secure Men Are Not Gold Diggers

A Well-Paid Man Is Tenacious

It is not the yearly salary I'm interested in as much as it is the fact that he is hard-working, dedicated, intelligent and persistent enough to hold down a well-paying job. These are desirable and attractive characteristics in a man.

A guy with a mediocre job or bumming it at home, even if he is smart, never fully applied himself. That makes him seem lazy, and laziness is a libido killer.

Raising A Family Is Better With Money

If a woman is seeking to raise a family, being financially stable is extremely beneficial and will give the child a better life. If she is able to work from home, work part-time, or be a full-time mom, this will allow her to have way more parental guidance than if she were working a full-time job. Not only that, but having money will allow the family to live in a safer environment for her kids to play in, and they’ll receive a better quality public education being from a good neighborhood. Or better yet, they can go to private school. Not being financially stressed out makes for a better mommy and family dynamic.

Women Seeking Financially Secure Men Are Not Gold Diggers

I Don't Want My Kids To Grow up In A Broken Home

Almost half of the marriages in The United States end In divorce. What is the number one reason for divorce? It's money. I wish women would stop dating deadbeat men because of how cute he is or his potentials. In the end, the little ones get hurt the most.

More Disposable Income Means More Fun

I want to be able to pay for my daughter's ballet lessons and my son's expensive piano lessons. I want to be able to take them on vacations to Disney World, Paris, Istambul and explore the world together.

Women Seeking Financially Secure Men Are Not Gold Diggers

A Stable Man Is More Likely To Commit

He is more likely to put a ring on your finger, want to start a family and pay for your dates.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're right, a girl who wants a financially stable guy isn't a gold-digger. The problem is, too many girls who ARE gold-diggers use this as an excuse. Many young women (in particular) claim they want a "financially stable" guy, when they actually want a rich guy to spoil them at places. It's the easy way out of admitting they ARE gold-diggers. I notice when women hit their 30's, they realize money isn't everything, unlike the greedy 20-something women I come across on a daily basis.

    "A Well-Paid Man is Tenacious"-Uh, not necessarily. It entirely depends on HOW he is "well-paid." If a wealthy man inherited money, or was GIVEN a well-paying job through connections, that doesn't make him tenacious at all. On the other hand, some people are working mediocre jobs (like me for example) who are trying to get a better job, and have been given an unfortunate hand in life. It's now how hard you work, or what you know-It's WHO you blow ;)

    "A Stable Man Is More Likely To Commit"-There is no correlation to commitment, and wealth. I would be interested to see how committed (or tenacious, at that) Hugh Hefner, Ozzy Osborune, or Kanye West is. Sure, I used isolated examples here, but you get my point. Commitment is a personal trait, which has nothing to do with how much money you make.

    This "MyTake" is decent-But there is a lot of stereotyping. Also, as a final note (And you're going to hate me for this one), if the woman isn't EQUALLY helping out, she has no room to talk. Plain, and simple. The old fashioned notion of the man as the "breadwinner" is in the past, because I can say "Fine, let's go back to the old days where women can't vote." You can't have it both ways. Gender roles should be abolished in general.

    • @MyTakeOwner Nevermind what I said. I just scrolled down to read your comments on people's opinions, and I've realized this entire MyTake is a clever troll attempt. Except, you're not an obvious troll-You're passive-aggressive, and sneaky about it.(Which is why I said this attempt is clever). Combining this with the fact you posted anonymous, it's clear you're trolling. I wonder if you're even a woman? Probably not.

    • Show All
    • Whatever helps you sleep t night buddy but you can clearly see why I wanted to inflame her.

    • Good that a woman upvoted you.
      Some of them have balls; and some men have too, fortunately.
      But we are a few :)).

      I mean, after reading something like
      "He is more likely to put a ring on your finger, want to start a family and pay for your dates"
      (translated: they are betas who will cheerfully submit and serve as your doormats, until you get bored and file divorce)
      I had to go to the comfort room for a brief pissing session :)

Most Helpful Girl


    QUESTION pink anon. Why don't you become more financially secure. Instead of depending on someone else to give you that security and stability?


    "He has a worthless liberal arts degree."

    You have no right to ridicule and belittle someone on their achivement (s). He earned that degree. Worked hard for it. For you to say that is just wrong.

    that's something my mama would classify as a rubbish personality.


    • I'm currently single and financially independent. All I'm saying is a man who is not financially stable won't be able to support a family. By the way, I've never said he was a worthless person. I just said his degree was worthless. I think college is a major scam and you're not gonna get a bang for your buck unless you have a STEM degree.

    • Show All
    • Men in stem degrees are getting ducked be caused women are now prefers hires. I'm the only guy in my lab and I leap dragged all the worthless women that take three times it take a man to complete the same task

    • Late but, I agree with the comment owner mostly. [[ B. t. w. Sorta skimmed the convo ]]

      "You have no right to ridicule and belittle someone on their achievement (s). He earned that degree. Worked hard for it. "

      * That, I 100% agree with.

      - - - Now, he should be able to earn income. I would have given him a chance. If he turned out to be someone that couldn't support himself, then things would have to end.

      It shows responsibility when someone can manage their money wisely. Holding down a job (assuming the company is good) shows me that they either REALLY like their job, or can get their ass up in the morning and motivate themselves into work.

      Why? Because, who wants a quitter? Oh, things get too hard?
      You go and look for a 2nd job instead of quitting without a back up.

      - If that backup falls through, well... Stuff happens, but at least you DID have a backup.

Recommended myTakes

Join the discussion

What Guys Said 102

  • "He had a worthless liberal arts degree"

    Wow I wouldn't wanna date you either with an attitude like that

  • I like how you have CONVENIENTLY avoided providing any information about YOUR career and earnings. Assuming you're doing good on that front... you still call his degree 'worthless'. I'm a STEM major, yet I have to usually job hunt for months. 12 months being jobless is not that big of a deal.

    I really pity the man who eventually ends up with you.

    • aficionado, Well said!

      Men should expect MORE from Women! Men need to practice their own version of HYPERGAMY. Men never know if...

      1. The wife will Divorce him. 50% of his Finances gone. 90% chance he loses custody of children. Suicide rates increase 9-12 times during divorce.
      2. The wife will make a False Domestic Violence charge. The law gives a woman the power to simply claim domestic violence and he is kicked out of his own house.

      A Man marrying a woman is giving her the power of life and death over his life. Thats a HUGE WALL for Women to overcome. Women have to bring A LOT more to the table.
      She is going to have to demonstrate virtue, values and TRUST that she will not leave him, take his money and the kids.

    • Show All
    • I didn't mention it because I think that's irrelevant. by the way I don't think a guy owes me a luxurious lifestyle. I wouldn't want to start a family with a guy who is broke.

    • myTakeOwner, Women are now beginning to make MORE money than Men. The disparity will get worse. Fewer and fewer Men are going to College. This means fewer Men making high salaries.

      Be prepared to marry a Man that makes LESS than you.

      Also, in 3 percent of Divorces, women are now having to pay Alimony... because the Wife makes more than the Husband.

  • I didn't read the comments but I'm sure there are a lot of butthurt guys whining about how a woman always wants/demands more, that if money comes into play at all it's shallow, blah blah blah. I don't even have to look, I'm sure it's true.

    Bottom line? Reality dictates. No woman should waste their time on a waste-of-space lazy man, especially if she's a doer herself. I'm not saying a woman should only date wealthy guys or anything ridiculous like that, but I AM saying she has ever right to find someone who can provide financial stability. Aside from sex, the #1 issue that plagues all relationships is money. The less there is, the hardest it is on the couple, and that's just the way of the world.

    All this being said, if I sense that a woman is ONLY interested in the financial security part, I'm gone. And ladies, we can indeed sense that. Also, it's important for women to reward ambition and drive in a man, especially a young man. No guy at 22 is going to be financially set. Hell, most guys at 32 can't claim to be that these days. A woman should simply want a go-getter for a life partner because it will invariably result in that security.

    • Don't worry man, you'll be reincarnated into the untouchable class of India society in your next life. You'll learn what reality is from a perception other than your current one, maybe if you're lucky you'll retain some education from the learning of this life, but just enough to know what you should grasp for.

    • Show All
    • @Gommers lol ya he's a fuckin tool

    • you are 38 and still think this way? You're fuckin lost. If money dictates a major problem in a relationship... it wasn't much of a relationship in the first place. Money actually ADDS major problems. You become a slave to it, leaving less room for the relationship. I've been across the board on this issue, from earning 6 figures to next to nothing. I find it's quite irrelevant except that the more money you have, the more likely you are to attract fake, lame, worthless women.

      You're a simp, nothing fancier.

  • Problem is, most of those women don't wanna move a muscle to make more money themselves.
    If you expect the guy to make lots of money, but you don't wanna work, or just work a minimum wage job... yes, that makes you a gold digger.

    • That's what I kept looking for in this take, what she is doing to add to the financial stability. Were all equal right?

    • Show All
    • @AdamThomas that applies for like a year man... you rambled about things way past that.

      your fallacy? strawman argument. FAIL

    • @feminismisnarcissism

      Yeah the breast-feeding part applies for a year, and then the kid still needs taking care of. Then you could argue that the man could stay home for a while, but if he's got a good job and she's just taken quite a bit of time off which could impact her earning potential, that wouldn't make sense. Besides, they might have more children, and that would mean they'd have to get a job, quit, get a job, quit. It's just easier to have the woman at home looking after the kid.

  • I'm going to guess and say you are the same woman who thinks men should pay for your tampons.

    If you have a decent degree and job by all means your wants are valid. If not then you may be looking for a while. You need to offer something more than being a stay at home mom or a minimum wage job to get what you are seeking. After all nobody likes a free loader.

    • Women are allowed to have their preferences and so does men. Although a lot of men would love to date stay-at- home moms because there are tons of stay-at-home moms.

    • Nobody is saying you can't have preferences. But they also need to be realistic. A neanderthal looking man working at walmart may have a preference for women who is a 9 or above. It's his preference but is highly unlikely to be achieved. The same can be said for a woman making 25000 a year as a receptionist at a hair salon looking for a man making 6 figures for financial security. She needs to take a good hard look at what she brings to the table to be able to get her "security". If that's all she brings then a gold digger title fits.

  • Piano and ballet lessons, dont they fall exactly under "worthless liberal arts" lol?

    I find it hard to believe a succesful or attractive women has so few contacts and quality suitors in real life that she would have to resort to online dating, because powerful succesful women are out there networking and engaging (i know because i work with such women)

    The spirit of your take is fine, but i'm seeing holes in your story.

    • I have a "worthless liberal arts degree," and I probably earn more than the take writer as a technical writer. I would never commit to a woman who judged me based on my income.

    • Show All
    • @umama In the context of the take, what are the realistic chances you're going to find a high earning, socially forward man, who looks good and is going to be a good stable father sitting arond clicking women on an internet page? Those men are go getters, they are out there working, earning, achieving and they are chasing the women they want.

      You just proved my point, why would a man that i have described above be intentionally out looking for people a widowed woman? Answer, he is not, he can cherry pick who he likes.

      My intent is not to insult the mytakeowner, i have already said i agree with the sprirt of her take. BUT if you want those standards in a man, you have to uphold those same standards yourself - otherwise you are, for all intents and purposes, a gold-digger. EVEN that is not an entirely bad thing in my eyes, if you have exceptionally good looks you can play the trophy wife and give him a better chance of attractive kids.

    • Dating websites like eharmony use complex algorithms to match people. So it can be highly effective (not sponsored lmao). by the way my neighbor is in her late 50s and her husband is a successful computer engineer who worked in a high tech manufacturing firm.
      Yes, it's very unlikely that an online dating site is crowded with handsome, eligible bachelors. But there are some good men there. I don't think she said liberal arts are worthless. It can be very enlightening but she is correct about liberal arts "degrees" being worthless. Colleges in America are like diploma mills churning out graduates with no employability skills. STEM degrees are the only ones that are worth going to college. I know tons of student loan indebted people who didn't pick their majors wisely and currently unemployed.

  • I love how you talk about "wanting" to do things for somebody else's money.
    I'm sorry, but you are a terrific gold digger.

    If you don't have the same amount of money and financial stability as I do, you can go fuck right off with whatever requirements you have for me.

    • Well a lot of guys want to be the breadwinners in the household...

    • A lot don't, I think you're projecting. *You* want guys who want to be the breadwinner, because it allows you to sit back and do nothing.

    • @Kirah Well that's boring. I want to spend more quality time with the kids. I plan on having 6 of them.

  • Why is a liberal arts degree useless? What an acrimonious statement. I also don't like that you need "more money to have more fun." When I am done medicine I will make $40,000/month, and the women I will want to date are not girls who needs me to shovel copious amounts of dollars into a date.

  • I say it does and I'll give you a r unique case from my life story. When I was 19 I left home to join the United States Air Force, I served a total of 5 years doing a lot of different things, I got out in 2014 at age 25 and have been using the Montgomery g. i bill to pay my way through college and I get a nice chunk of change each month while using to support myself, I also work part time and I've been getting grants and scholarships on top of it.
    And girls my age still act like I'm the guy who never left the couch at his moms house. And yes I have some set backs like living at my parents house for example while in school is one of them but the reason for it is 1000 times more noble than 99% of the bums they let raid their cooch. To me it is like calling someone a lazy POS because they are obese and wheelchair bound from working as like a fire fighter and hurting themselves on the job vs the person who ate themselves that way.
    I have a few lady friends and almost every time we go some where we get that awkward "you guys make a great couple! Oh your not how come?" and the girl never gives a legit reason why and I figured it out. Money is the reason, I even make that joke "I can't wait for money to make me more attractive" and the girls give that awkward laugh because deep down inside i'm right lol.
    So I went on a rant but my point is that women are gold diggers because they don't care that i'm scrapping by because i'm a military veteran with some physical, mental and financial issues.
    Versus the dude with moms debt card who jizzed on them and ran out the door to cheat on them with their best friend. So as a veteran I will say this, America loves the troops but treats the veterans like garbage. As soon as the toys are done playing they toss them in the trash and that is what i'm dealing with in my life. Just look around you, does the American society have a positive portrayal of military veterans?

    • What are you studying?

      What did you do in the air force?

    • @Bluemax Criminal justice but I think i'll change it to psychology or political science and I worked in aircraft maintenance

  • My only thing is this: don't ask me for anything you aren't willing to bring to the table yourself. My girlfriend is going through a health situation where she's unable to work right now, and I'm paying the way, and that's fine, when one of us down, we can lean on the other to pick us up. But I know that she's more than willing to put her 40-60 hours a week to when she's up to it. When we first met, it was me who was broke. I was bumming around as a bouncer at a bar, working 20 hours a week and just getting by, at 27. And that was fine for me at the time, I'm somewhat of a minimalist, I don't need a whole lot to be happy. But I knew I couldn't do it forever, so when I was offered a management position, I took it. Tell you what though, I haven't felt that same quality of life since that day. I made more money, and in my current job I make 4 times what I made as a part time bouncer, but I haven't been at peace in like 10 years. Call me lazy, unambitious, whatever you want, but money doesn't excite or motivate me, free time does. Like I'm at a point where I wouldn't care much if I were to die, because at least I wouldn't have to haul my ass into a job every day. All that said, I work my ass off, so my actions don't represent my feelings.

    So I say all that to point out that being asked to be the provider in a relationship sucks the soul out of me. I do it, but I'm miserable. Like I'm no longer living to live, I'm living to work to live. I have my things that give me brief happiness, but overall, I'd never tell you I "enjoy" life at this point. My existence revolves around making money, and it shouldn't have to be like that. No weekends off or even vacation time justify the amount of time and effort I have to put in to get to them. I absolutely hate adult life, if I'm being honest. So forgive some of us guys who are resentful if our earning power is a major factor in your assessment of us. I totally understand why you don't want a total deadbeat, but if you can't fall in love with a bus driver because you don't think he can pay for your prospective children's piano lessons, I don't want to say "golddigger" per se, but you're suspect. Money isn't everything in life, remember that. And if it is, be ready to bring some in yourself, and never, ever fail to appreciate and be accommodating to the one who is keeping the boat afloat. And that's not a sexism thing, I'd say the same to a guy if the woman made all the money.

    • You just haven't find that job that excited you yet

    • Show All
    • It has to be a passion if you start it. A hobby. ☺️

    • @abundantlyrich True. No time for hobbies these days though, I'm lucky to get out an hour a day to the gym. Life for me = Wake up, work, come home and take care of the girlfriend, slip out to the gym real quick, come home and cook for us, get ready for bed, sleep, rinse and repeat. Zero downtime for the most part, so I'm stuck like this. I only come on GAG while I'm waiting for food to cook or if I'm waiting around for something at my job, really. Maybe one day it'll change, but not for the foreseeable future. Thanks for the advice though☺️

  • The. You believe in gender roles than huh? Fine when I get home I want a whiskey and diet ready amd dinner on the table everynight. If you wanna play it this way than let's do this.
    Yes you are correct about divorce but your forgetting a huge thing. The divorce and money is about one of the two are idiots and spend the money foolishly. Its not about not having money. Its about one of them spending the money they don't have and often enough it's the wife.

    No such thing as a stable job anymore. Companies get bought out faster and lay off people faster than years ago. Stable man and committing? How could you say that? A stable man at your age is gonna enjoy himself.

    And I probably won't marry someone with debt. I'm not inheriting there shit. You gotta bring to the table the same thing and your life long dream can't be to be a stay at home mom. Thats not how it works.

    That dude is probably better off without you. Probably become the next Bill Gates.

    Money isn't everything in life. Being happy is way more important. Cuz at the end of the day money is just paper.

    • Is the part about dinner supposed to be a bad thing? I'm not arguing with you but I'm just curious as to whether or not women would find that truly offensive.

      When I'm married I look forward to taking care of my husband and children. Is making dinner and providing a comfortable environment for the man you love really that tedious? To me it sounds exciting.

    • Show All
    • @Relentless_Hippie I agree with that but I've met a few girls in my life that being a housewife is all they wanna be. Even when they get married and don't have kids yet they still wanna jusg find a rich husband. This my take owner reminds me of them.

      I've had high paying well off jobs and they've sucked. I could be making a shit ton of more money but I would never know my own kids. I'd be in the office 24/7 thats not right either. I've talked to countless CPAS who've regretted doing all the worm they've done and just now getting to know their grandkids when they don't know their own kids. Like I said life is about being happy and not money.

    • To me it sounds like the women you're referring to cared more about being rich than the actual well being of their partners and families. Happiness is always more important. Before working at my current job, I was at a place where I made more money and had great insurance benefits and everything. i was absolutely miserable, and it was affecting my life entirely.

      Since then I've quit and now work at a place where my coworkers are like family, I'm a million times happier there and I've even got my boyfriend a job here to so it's great. I don't want money for living lavishly, I want it so my kids can have access to things that I wasn't able to have. Like for doctor visits, for properly fitting clothes, for food so they don't go to bed hungry. I want to be able to afford their yearbooks for school, give them things to enjoy life instead of watching from the sideline.

      I feel like that should be both women's and men's focus when it comes to relationships and their kids.

  • I agree. Just as I believe that men who seek young, athletic, physically attractive women are not perverts or players.


    • Show All
    • I would add however that we should not be morons who pursue only those things. In which case, it becomes shallow, say if a man is only with a woman because she is hot and a woman with a man only because he is wealthy. That is a recipe for disaster and both of them deserve whatever consequences they suffer. Ideally you want someone hot or wealthy whom you are compatible with.

    • compatibility is important to me too.

  • GOD you're full of shit.

    Discriminating against men on the basis of social class is exactly equal to racism, sexism and other forms of discrimination.

    Just another woman trying to justify being a racist. Sickens us. You are a gold digger if you 'dig gold'. Its pretty simple really. Like if you only let caucasian people on a bus, you're racist, and if you only let girls into college, you're a sexist. If you only let the rich into your bed, you're a classist. If that sounds simple, its because it is.

    If you're going to talk in public on this subject, I strongly recommend that you read studies on Evolutionary Biology and Evolutionary Psychology first. These scientists will show you that money has nothing to do with the things you wrote. Instead, they found that you, and all women, are biochemically programmed to be attracted to guys with resources, from the CAVEMAN DAYS.
    Scientists conclude that the female brain is actually tens of thousands of years out of date, still programmed with pre-historic horseshit from the time of the Mammoths.

    Whats more worrying, is that girls are not being educated about this, and are not taught - and forced, through restructuring society - to change and update their mate selection criteria to things that are relevant to modern civilisation - or rather, that are personal to them.

    Imagine a world in which males didn't compete and fight over resources to get enough social status to be allowed to have sex. This entire fascist, unequal, injust, poverty-ridden, authoritarian Battlefield Earth would collapse. Money would have no use whatsoever - its only women like you that keep this entire shitshow turning.

    Just imagine a world of equality, where males and females can love eachother based on who they are as people. Not ethnicity, wealth, height, social status, weight, attractiveness, money... just on who we really are.

    This is The Red Pill.

  • Yeah, simply wanting financial security isn't gold digging. Apart from financial problems being a leading cause of divorce, a person's earning potential says something about the character of that person, chiefly his drive, ambition, and intelligence.

    My wife had a steady, stable income and I expected that of her. She expected the same of me.

    P. S. I have a liberal studies degree. Somehow I made it work. ;)

  • I agree with the Catch-22. A Husband working 60 hours a week is not going to be around to be a good husband and Father. The Wife will complain.

    If he cuts back his hours in order to be around the Wife and Children more. She will complain.

    A "happy medium" has to be found. It might include the Wife working!

  • Wanting your man to be financially stable doesn't make you a gold digger. But if you expect your man to make all the money while you don't make any makes you a gold digger.

  • "He is more likely to... pay for your dates."
    Yeah makes sense haha. Sure the arts degree seems pretty eh. But girls shouldn't really need to use a dating site in the first place? Most of those, both genders basically just want to fuck around. If you met someone attractive with a good personality, who didn't seem like he wanted to hit it and quit it after a week, you should have hopped on that train. If you don't want a relationship that will ultimately end, I wouldn't recommend any free dating sites in general. Maybe try a paid one if you're that into starting a family.

    The degree probably wasn't the best choice, but whatever. So then you go onto say, you want a hard working guy above all else. You then say it can't be a 'mediocre job'. Now based on that, going to assume you mean 'not the best paying job', which would show a bigger concern for currency, than work ethic.

    If a girl can financially support her own student loans/various debt and not throw all of her money away, I don't really care what job she takes. Besides something in terms of stripping/streetwalking.

    I know someone who kept switching jobs (in construction), because it would get slow towards fall/winter generally, or other reasons. He now makes 40 something an hour without any sort of degree, works his ass off and has been there for years.

    If someone is lazy and has no idea where they're going, it's definitely grounds to not continue anything. But this whole take is ridiculous, you don't use POF or Tinder to find someone to marry, you just don't. You'll see the same people over and over most likely. This entire thing is based on finding someone you can marry, judging him by whatever you've learned from one date and some texts. Maybe he is a complete loser, maybe he isn't. Either way, if you're trying to judge someones marriage potential, you're looking in the wrong places and being pretty quick to judge.

  • So pink anon has a stem degree and held a good job for longer than a year all while being in her mid-twenties, right?

    It's fine to want a man with a decent job. But it's the hypocrisy that's so goddamn annoying: either the woman has to bring a decent job to the table too (and none of that "I only work 3 days a week because I like to enjoy life" BS), or she should just admit she plans to leech off of a man.

  • Absolutely not!

    Had this discussion with a friend who was complaining about a chicky wanting to date him for his money and asked what I thought.

    Every woman wants security, doesn't mean they will toss his ass later if he hits hard times. All relationships have to start somewhere, if a lady indicates that she likes to be taken care of then more to her. She is being honest with her desires in a mate/lover.

  • memecrunch.com/.../image.png?w=400&c=1

    You want guys who can pay for your stuff. If that financially stable guy refused to pay for your dates, you'd be out of there.

  • And when your husband looses his job and you guys face serious financial difficulty you will divorce him. Don't believe me? just look at the divorce stats from the "mancession".

    If your looking for financial stability that is EASY to find and 100% reasonable. Your looking for a wallet, not a man, hence gold digger. Listing off a bunch of reasons why money can be nice to have does not somehow make you less of a gold digger.

  • The main reason why guys don't like women that ONLY go for guys that are "fonancially secure" is because even if we have money, if we lose our job somehow, then we get to enjoy a nasty divorce and her trying to take the kids away and get support.
    If there was a law that made it so men with money will provide no support whatsoever after a divorce, we keep all of our stuff, and the MAN keeps the kids, then it would be fine. :)

    • Lots of "ifs" there. The idea that men who are financially secure are afraid of marriage because of divorces sounds far-fetched. Usually when two people enter a marriage, they're thinking of a relationship that is lifelong and thought of breaking up isn't even on the table. Unless of course, there is a prenup.

    • @WillowTree I'd rather never be married again. I'd be in a LTR, but not marriage because of my last experience. (I won't discuss details of it, but it was a bad experience)

    • I'm sorry you had a bad experience. I can't imagine. Not all relationships end up that way though.

  • You just keep telling yourself whatever helps you sleep at night. Sure, you're not a gold digger. You can't help it if the only men you're 'attracted' to make six figures, can you? Certainly not!

  • The idea that I get from you is that you don't have patience to fight side by side with someone to get the life you wish, you fear too much the unknown, and you just jump into a boat if the trip is short.

    It's ok, but what's the problem here? Is that you are more likely to force yourself believing you are in love, when you meet guys that apparently are solid. You might trick yourself here.

  • Are you serous? Out of curiosity. How well off does the woman in this relationship have to be for it to work?

    • Depends on what the guy is looking for in a wife.

  • Youd better be financially stable yourself. And for your own food on dates for fucks sake.

  • I have no problems with this at all.

    However, women can want whatever they want as much as they want. Wanting something does not automatically mean that you deserve it.

    If you met a guy when he's young, saw the future potential in him, and worked with him to help bring out his potential earning power? Then great. You deserve it all.

    If you met a guy already stable and secure, and you found ways to help contribute to his life? Great. You've earnt a spot by his side too.

    But If you think you deserve a guy whose worked damn hard to get what he's got just because you have a vagina? Don't act surprised to find yourself on the side of the berk the moment the guy gets bored of your vagina.

    • Well a vagina has the power to give birth to his future offsprings. I don't want a deadbeat baby daddy.

    • Show All
    • That's where i disagree with you. A man should not need a woman to better person. A man should be able to stand on his own two feet and be able to have his shit together and desire to constantly improve without needing a woman to help him do it. Men should want a woman to compliment him, not need a woman (notice women don't like needy men).

    • @BubbleBoy69 I assume you meant "complement" and not "compliment".

      But here's the thing. The definition of having a woman that complements a man is to have a woman that makes a man better than what he can be alone.

  • The moment that a woman needs to rely on a man for all this: you are a gold digger. That said, I agree with you. But many men I know are idiots in business that got there because of rich mommy and daddy. I never judge a man by his money. I came from a poor background and am working like a bitch to get out of it. I even came from a 3rd world country and worked my way into a first world country. That's an achievement in itself for me. Oh... and I will never commit!!

  • I think i won't get married if i got money. Because all women caring about money. And i dont want a money based relationship.

    Dont get me wrong. I red your take and i understand what you're saying. But you know that kinda "money" talk just... Uhhh disgusting. If i got money i can't trust any women on this planet after ALL those experiences. After seeing peoples relationships ending/starting because of money. I absolutely hate it...

    • I absolutely second that!
      With the exception that I plan to never get married. Still money is what runs quite increasingly relationships now.
      You can't trust anybody these days anymore.

    • Show All
    • @Unit1 if you have money all you gotta do is show them money, let them try to have it, dont give anything and fck them all.

    • Bad idea! You only attract the wrong kind of attention and then people will know, that you are rich (which will spread the rumor) and then you will always be "wanted". It's easier to just ghost out altogether.

  • And let me guess - you'd really love it if answers justified your obvious intent here?

    Or is there a question behind it - as in, if I go for a guy because of his money - can I somehow avoid being a gold digger?

    Unlikely - that's the definition of the term, right?

  • Show more from Guys

What Girls Said 31

  • Please don't speak for all women. I, for one want to make my own money and make as much or higher than my partner. I'm not a leech and I don't need his money.

    • I'm Only speaking for women who are seeking financially stable partners.

    • Independent woman who don't need no man

  • Is that why you posted this anonymously? Are you genuinely proud of this myTake?


    • I don't want to get pms from weirdos

    • You know there are ways to make your account private so you don't receive pms from anybody that you don't follow right? That's a crappy excuse lol.

    • Oh that's great!!!

  • My dad worked middle class jobs all his life and actually got his first job when he was 10 or so, which was a paper route but despite him not being paid the big buck, he's one of the hardest working guys there is. So, guess that first one doesn't apply to everybody huh?

    I've lived in the same house, in the same town since I was 3. We live in a nice quiet neighborhood in the suburbs and my parents have never been rich. They made enough but they didn't have money falling off the trees in the back yard, yet they've always lived in good places. So, guess you can find something you can afford in a nice place without being rich, huh?

    My parents have been married for 39yrs and are currently having some extreme money troubles, yet they never think of divorcing. See, if two people want to divorce they'll find anything as an excuse to make it happen but if you truly love each other you'll work through whatever comes your way together, even money issues.

    I tried activities but quit them all because my heart wasn't in it, so isn't better to wait to see if your children even want to join a group activity before you decide you don't want to marry someone if they can't pay for it? Also, I've only been on two vacations in my life both to FL and the first time I went I was little and we went to St Pete's Beach and it was the best time of my life! So, you can go on fun affordable vacations if you want to and still have a great time.

    Also, if you know ahead of time you want to take a family vacation or your child wants to do an activity, you just set the money aside and plan ahead. It's called being an adult.

    Is that so? Do you have any facts to back this up? Because, my dad worked at a place called EJ&J railroad when he met my mom and it was just a blue collar job. Yet, he still committed to my mom. Guess that last one doesn't apply to everyone either.

    • Women these days don't seem to care about character.

    • Show All
    • That's good have you always been that way or did you date bad boys when younger.

    • I've never actually dated before.

  • An equal partnership to me is finding someone who matches the same values as you. Meaning if you believe in traditional roles and abide by them yourself then the person you're with should too. Otherwise you guys will never get along.

    Personally I'd never marry and have children until both my partner and I are making money and can live comfortably. I've dated my boyfriend for two years now and for two of those years I was the only one with a job. He had no reason to work as he was away for school.

    Now that he's back I've got him a job at my job but I certainly don't expect things from him he can't provide. I don't understand why so many people would be offended at someone else's desire for themselves. My boyfriend and I are going to get married and have children, it's the most exciting parts of our future we look forward to but we both know it would be highly irresponsible of us to do so without first establishing ourselves and making sure we have the funds to raise a household.

    A woman who is single and looking for a man with money in order to ensure a better future for her family isn't a stupid or shallow one. It's because she loves herself and her children enough to make sure they don't live a hard life. I wish my parents were established so I wouldn't have to deal with the issues I do now. If anything it's entirely selfish to have children with someone when neither of you can raise a family.

    I believe in traditional gender roles. To me you can still be a working woman and hold on to those values. I've never understood how angry people can respond with "well you better be cooking and cleaning and make sure you put food on the table every night."

    Of course I will! Like what kind of woman doesn't feed her family and makes sure their environment it pleasant, clean, and filled with food and love? Those are the things I can't wait to do when I have a family. Women who can't do that which to me is the bare minimum, don't deserve to be married with children.

  • Good take.

    Guys are butt hurt because you only labeled the title as why girls can want a successful man. But we're not the ones constantly calling them gold diggers. Both people should work or find a situation that works for them.

    Success will always be attractive though

    • "Success will always be attractive though"

      So do attractive faces xD

    • Show All
    • @BlackGirl23 im for trump and i grew up poor. im a native American and a nuclear chemist. it seems that you're the racist black girl

    • @dudeman haha agreed. Thanks 😊

  • Yet another pathetic female parasite belittling our sex.
    It's at times like this I take sides with the guys.

    • Right! I guess women aren't capable of making their own money?

    • @BlackGirl23 Well I don't know about you, for I consider I work jolly hard indeed 5 days a week to earn my money.
      But there again I was brought up and taught to understand the value of money.
      And if I really wanted something I had to save up and buy it myself.

  • Mytake owner ignore these idiots they can't read or they just assume crap that makes no sense from your mytake. I agree with you growing up poor I realize how important it is to have money so you wouldn't have worries or issues because of money. I'm not money crazed I want be able to relax and know no one is going to evicted me because I was late on the rent an 3rd time because I couldn't pull the money through. Money in marriage IS important I wish people realize that since most divorces happen because of money.

    • Young girls are so pathetic these days... pffft

    • Show All
    • The my take author makes it sound like men are the only ones that need to bring in money. Unless she wants to be in the kitchen and doing laundry all day, it won't happen.

    • @Thisperson98 well its her opinion if you don't agree fine if you don't agree with mine fine but don't be asshole about it no need for it. Honestly. This is why I told other two go fuck themselves.

  • Financial stability is great, but there are too many girls who expect a man to provide them with things when they don't really bring all that much to the relationship. If you're a girl who has nothing to offer and expects the world in return, then you probably are a gold digger.

  • "He is more likely to put a ring on your finger, want to start a family and pay for your dates."

    Yeah sorry, this last statement DEFINITELY makes you a gold digger. Pay for your own stuff.

    • "A guy with a mediocre job or bumming it at home, even if he is smart, never fully applied himself. That makes him seem lazy, and laziness is a libido killer."

      Alright, so when are you going to get a high-paying job yourself? It's incredibly unrealistic to expect a rich boyfriend, while you contribute almost nothing financially yourself. Guys can do better than you, and they will.

    • any guy with anything on the ball would not take a 2nd look at her.

  • "Not being financially stressed out makes for a better mommy and family dynamic."

    totally agree, because we never hear about dyfuctional wealth families. never ever. and the mommies are especially great in those situations. the whole 10 minutes they take their kids of the nannies hands are real quality time that'll turn those kids into upstanding members of society someday. hmm.. ok. ;)

    • true men who make better money are more likely to commit, but their also much more likely to cheat, a lot.

    • Show All
    • @thewanderingme I was thinking the same thing. I know several wealthy families where the parents basically never mingle with their kids, or everyone is a fighting mess. This MyTake Owner is probably a troll anyway.

    • @BlackGirl23 indeed... money fucks up priorities.

  • One of the many reasons I broke up with my boyfriend was because he'd never had a job in his life, had no money and no car. I've had numerous jobs, two cars and got a good amount of money and I'm at the stage in my life in which I would like to move out and start building a life of my own away from my parents. How can I do that with a guy like him? It would take years for him to get a job and save money!

    Guys think we want men with money so we can take their money when we have our own money, we just want financial security and not a guy who can support you equally. Guys who've had jobs usually have more common sense too which forms them into who they are.

    • I've had ten jobs, and assuming this MyTake isn't a troll attempt (Which it probably is), I disagree with 50 percent of it. Money doesn't equate successful, and hard-work doesn't make you rich. Also, some of the most uncommitted men I can think of are wealthy. There is a lot of stereotyping, and ignorance in this MyTake to be honest.

    • Show All
    • @Keyspirit I said one of "many" reasons.

    • But that shouldn't be the reason doe. Not many excel at the same rate as u.

  • Agreed!😊 As I get older, I realize that I want someone financially stable, has a car, moved out of his moms house, loves his family and is good with mine. I learned a lot from my past realationship, and I just feel like my views are maturing and I'm getting to a point where I'm looking far into the future now and I don't want to be with someone who isn't all around stable and secure. Doesn't make me a gold digger.

  • You want a guy who's hustle matches yours.

    Why dont the butthurt broke guys ever try to go after equally lazy, unambitious broke women? Bums never want to date each other. All the bum ass females I know always demand a guy have money to spend on them. and all the bum ass guys i know demand that a woman overlook his bum assness and date him and pay for everything.

    If money really didn't matter, then broke jobless guys would not care about nonambitious women overlooking them, because they would be just as happy dating women with no jobs or ambitions. however bums are looking for a come up so when they see a successful woman with her shit together they flock to her, and get in their feelings when they see that she won't let him use her.

    • just because a guy is broke does not make him lazy or unambitious.

    • Show All
    • There just aren't enough educated professional men willing to work. Most of them dont even apply for these office jobs thats why there's so few of them. why dont the guys with masters degrees in chemistry apply for the office jobs or move to an area that has a better job market? I only hear lazy men making excuses that women are favored. There are too many educated professional men in management positions for lazy broke guys to be crying about women are preferred. Maybe your friend just doesn't interview well

    • you mean people who do studies? they are the ones saying women are favored its just a conformation to what men already know. these are not excuses this is a valid reason. yes plenty of men apply for those jobs they just dont get them because women are doing the hiring. there are plenty of educated professional men who can't get jobs because women are preferred hires. a simple google search will clear up your lack of information.

  • What irritates me the most about guys answering this question is that they're trying to support an alternate argument that the original poster proposed.
    What she is saying, is that, NO she is not trying to sit back and let the guy pay for everything.
    YES, she will herself have a stable job and work to financially support the family as well.
    BUT let's say for example that she earns 70k+ a year, and wants a partner who makes around that or more rather than someone who is working 30k a year?
    HOW does that make a woman a gold digger? MIND YOU, she is not saying money is more valuable than love, or that financial stability is the ONLY important thing in a relationship. Geez guys, answer this damn scenario and stop trying to find ways to justify why women should be happy dating a guy from a lower income bracket when she herself is making a fairly decent salary.

    • Exactly! I'm currently single and financially independent. I pay for my own rent+bills now. I'm not looking for a fuck buddy. I'm looking for a husband and the potential father of my future kids. Financial security is a must when you're trying to raise a family. I don't understand why some naive women refuse to acknowledge that and end up with broke guys. There is also nothing wrong with a traditional woman expecting the guy to be a sole bread winner as long as she takes full responsibility of all the household chores.

    • You realize 70k is way above average right

    • more sexism from myTakeOwner- men have just as much right to be the homemaker.

      god i hate sexism.

  • Having a lot of money doesn't mean much though. I don't have experience with dating, but I always think of my step father when it comes to things like this. My mother had trouble finding someone after she was ready to date again after my dad died. Not too many guys wanted a single mother. My step father came into her life with not much money, but he was willing to be a father to us. They just celebrated their 15th anniversary. He's a hard worker but he definitely doesn't have a lot of money. I admire him a lot for wanting to look out for us.

    There could be a lot of reasons for why someone isn't financially stable. It doesn't mean they are a dead beat. They could have just had a rough time or just got laid off. I grew up poor so I am understanding of why someone might not have a lot of money. I'm not going to turn someone down if we get along well just because they don't have a fat bank account.

  • If a man wants a woman with a job and is financial secure herself does that automatically make him a gold digger as well?

  • Very true, I don't see anything gold digger-eske about it. I plan on being financially well off when I have kids so I would expect the same from my husband. A lot of guys get all pissy about girls wanting a certain type of guy or that they can't find a girl, but in all reality, you need to date your equal. I feel like a lot guys think that smoking hot girls are bitches for not wanting to date a 5, but in all reality, she worked hard for that body so it is her choice and same for a guy. Go ahead an attack me, I dont care

    • It's scary to know there are girls like you out there. But it's good because more girls out there like you that vocalise it the more men become aware. This gold digger thing wasn't a big deal a decade ago but men are wishing up. You say she worked for that body... What does that have to do with money. This isn't prostitution mate

    • Show All
    • Sensitive little girl

    • Not sensitive. I'm angry. You don't know true anger until you fuck with an Italian girl. BLOCKED.

  • Amazed by how many people here don't realize that financially secure/stable =/= rich.

  • Notice how the only people who disagree with this are uneducated liberals who support Hillary Clinton, and are usually poor because they're lazy? I'm disgusted by the number of women who disagree with this take. Do you hoes want some lazy guy to bum around? I'm dating a 6'5, 350lb guy right now, and my friends think I'm weird because he's obese, and I'm not. However, he's intelligent, 25 years old, has a great job working in computers, and is mature! His downfall is obviously food. He'll eat some crazy 10,000 calories a day, which causes him to have the worst gas imaginable. Anyway I know these girls who date these lowlife losers because they're "hot" and then they complain about it. And I see these answers on this take and these stupid Feminists are idiots. They'll learn some day.

    • you see guys it all depends on the girl because every girl has different preference. its impossible every girl likes the same type of guy

    • i disagree with this and im a trump supporter. just because a guy is broke and unemployed does not make him lazy or unambitious. its really not up to you if you have a job or not its up to the employer. all you can do is try.

    • Just assuming this is true (And I think this is another troll post), it looks like her boyfriend is on the road to a short life, if he keeps eating the way he does. Let's say his food addiction continues, and he weighs over 400lbs, that's quite heavy, even for being six feet, five inches tall.

      So, you tell me what's worse: A man putting his health SEVERELY at risk, OR a man who struggles financially, but is able to take care of himself?

  • Gold digger.

  • I expected a rich girl to say that. Are you rich?

  • Please tell me you're trolling.

  • One of the reasons that I want a financially stable man is because I am financially stable myself. I have a professional degree (as well as a bachelor's degree) and I want someone who is as driven as me. If I'm bringing home the bank, then how would a relationship work if he doesn't have a job? I'm never asking for a guy to be making a lot of money, NEVER. But I am asking that he have a pretty stable job. For example, teachers make almost no money, but I would love to date a teacher. You won't live a life of lavish, but I've never wanted that. I do want someone who cares about his work and wants to work like I do.
    It is also true that the biggest cause of divorce today is financial problems. I would also like to note for all men and women, that part of these financial problems also stem from the philosophy of each person about how to spend/save their money. For me, I'd rather live in a small house (especially if we don't have kids yet) and save every penny we can. We can save for retirement, but also live cheaply so that we're never worried if some expense comes up. I DO NOT believe in going into debt. I pay my bills the month that they're due. If I can't afford to buy a new suit/car/furniture/etc., then I won't. Advice to everyone: find someone who values money the way you do.

  • I agree with you and it's only fair to him if you are financially secure too

  • Well, I agreed with your title, but that's about it. You sound like a secret gold-digger to be honest. My boyfriend is the most tenacious, ambitious person I know at the moment, and we're both broke. He makes $10.00 at a factory, and works overtime hours. The reason he didn't go to college is because he couldn't afford to. He has tried to find a better job, but since he's not White (He's Black), and has no degree, he can't find a better job. He has tired everything. There are weeks he works 7 days a week, and I barely see him. Meanwhile I see rich white college frat boys use their parents money to buy everything and never work. Ever.

    I was raised in a poor, but close family. Money has nothing to do with that either. And a "stable" man is more likely to commit? Uh, rich guys are actually the biggest cheaters, since they have the most opportunities. I'm going to assume you're a rich white sorority girl, right? Notice how all gold diggers are whites girls? Sorry, but it's not racist, it's the truth.

    • Why do so many black women have des beat baby daddies? A serious question...

    • Show All
    • Haha no. I think it's obvious black women are more likely to have deadbeat baby daddies than any other race.

    • a guy who works is not a dead beat.

  • Not all msrriges end because of money a lot are from infidelity as well. Having money makes you stable but if there is a problem between husband and wife the family is not going to. stay happy. There is nothing wrong with wanting a man to be stable and holding his own. But you do know that a lot of them do start from. the bottom to get to the top. A broken home can happen regardless if you have money. And there are some wealthy guys who don't want to commit because they have the money to do what they want when they want to. If you require this in a man a lot of them are going to look at what can she bring to the table and can she told her own as well. Guys are doing the same thing nowadays.

  • BUT - you better be able to pull your own weight lest you become a ball & chain and not a life partner for better things.

    • When women stayed at home, they WORKED there. I don't mean over decorating for every holiday and making Pinterest crafts with the kiddos.

      The raised gardens, canned, mended clothes, took care of chickens, chopped wood, etc.

  • I get where you're coming from but, I dont agree with the raising children part. Both my parents work and have worked full time while I was growing up. I went to a private middle school but other than that all my education came from public schools. While we weren't rich, I grew up just fine. I even had friends who lived in really really bad neighborhoods who's parents worked two jobs and didn't have a lot of disposable money. Yet their parents and mine have stayed together and we were raised to be good people and one of my friends works for the government and is one of the smartest people I know. I understand there's a sense of security with money but saying that if a mom doesn't stay home that they can't provide parental guidance. Just my two cents.

  • This is so disgusting, no wonder why men are pulling away from marriage and women. Girls like you make me sick. Please go get a life and stop spreading BS, its really hurting everyone

    • Nice to meet you blue anon.

    • oh yea right.

    • Unfortunately, the young women generation these days are gold diggers.

  • When it comes to relationships/marriage, it doesn't matter what who thinks about you. There is no blanket statement.
    There are guys out there who like working women and there are guys who like homemakers.
    Likewise there are women who prefer a career and those who prefer to stay at home.
    There are guys who are truly satisfied with supporting their family, and there are girls who would actually be proud to share the cost burden.
    There's someone out there for everybody. The trick is to just know what you want and to go for it. Don't listen to all of the criticism, because in the end if you don't know what you want or if you change your mind just to comply with the dictates of society, you will have made the wrong decision, and you will end up in an unhappy relationship/marriage. Then you will also make your significant other unhappy too, and if there are children involved, they will also have to suffer from your poor decision.
    So, don't listen to any of the B. S. and shaming and stereotypes of society. But make sure you know what you want, and fight for it with your last drop of blood and last breath.

  • Show more from Girls

Recommended Questions