11 Signs You’re Dating A Boy, Not A Man


11 Signs You’re Dating A Boy, Not A Man

1. He Can’t Fix Anything

Maybe it’s an old gender role, but men are expected to be reasonably handy. He needs to know how to change a tire, mount a towel rack or at the very least, put together an IKEA bookshelf without bursting into tears.

2. He’s Not Assertive

I'm a feminine woman and I love strong, powerful and assertive men. An assertive man is a sign of power, hence a sign of fertility, wealth, and strength, things every woman wants in a partner.

3. He’s Passive-Aggressive

Instead of being upfront and honest with you when you’ve pissed him off or hurt his feelings, he just shuts down or finds subtle ways to make your life difficult. Screw that guy. He’s a big baby.

11 Signs You’re Dating A Boy, Not A Man

4. He Tries To “Win” Arguments With You

It’s been said many times that arguing in relationships is a good thing — it proves you’re both invested. But arguments are about finding a middle ground, not about coming out on top. And a grown-up man knows there’s no way to win an argument with a woman, anyway lmao.

5. He Worries Too Much About What Other People Think

A man doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him as long as he believes in what he’s doing. Confidence (not arrogance) comes with maturity.

6. He’s Not Interested In Self-Improvement

And I don’t mean self-help. I’m talking about learning new skills, becoming more invested in current affairs, reading more… that sort of thing. If he thought he was finished gaining any kind of knowledge when he graduated from school, he’s still got a lot to learn.

7. The Thing He Likes Most About You Is Your Looks

Obviously, physical attraction is important, but if you’ve been together awhile and your hotness is still your number one draw, this is a relationship with little hope for success. A man needs to connect with his partner on numerous levels. A boy just wants to bang a hot chick.

8. He Is Arrogant

11 Signs You’re Dating A Boy, Not A Man

I don't care if you're the richest, smartest and the most good looking guy on the planet!!! If you aren't a humble person, your accomplishments become completely worthless.

9. He Can’t Handle Conflict

Running away from or avoiding problems is one of the most childish things a guy can do. A man deals with shit, even if it means getting punched in the face by some douche at the bar or getting screamed at by your girlfriend.

10. He Lacks Respect For Other Women Figures

Does he respect his mother, sister, and elders? If not you should move right along.

11. He Whines A Lot

Nobody wants to date a complete pessimist.

11 Signs You’re Dating A Boy, Not A Man
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Guy

  • Mesonfielde
    So apparently what we've learned today is:

    1.) men utilize power accumulated in their penises to fix IKEA tables, and females are magically incapable of helping if need be because they're too busy being independently reliant on men to build their tables for them

    2.) feminine women need a men to be wealthy

    4.) women argue using their vaginas, and their vaginas are always right

    9.) in order to be a man, apparently you have to get punched in the face in bars. Additionally, women get a free pass to emotionally abuse you ("scream at you") just because you have a penis and they don't.

    10.) vaginas entitles females to respect no matter what they do other than that

    3 5 6 7 and a bit of 11 apply to both sexes.

    I think it's funny how you portray emotional abuse by your girlfriend as a normal thing that "men" should just endure so that you don't have to have the responsibility of being a decent person

    Because you know, vagina
    Is this still revelant?
    • Unit1

      Them upvotes bro. Isn't that telling something?
      Because it sure does indicate something, especially not a single female has upvoted you so far and you're leading here with 14 upvotes!

      You are liberating and I like that :)

    • LuckyLucka

      It is pretty stupid to assume men should just go along with whatever makes them look good for women without being themselves. Hell, I'll be handy if I really need something done.

    • Unit1

      @LuckyLucka Absolutely agreed! That only makes men look desperate and moronic (not being themselves and go along with making them look good for women).

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • RJGraveyTrain
    Oh yay, more sexism. I didn't expect that from G@G. Have your preferences for men, but don't go so far as to try and define what men are or aren't; they did that shit to us back in the day, and we didn't appreciate it.
    Is this still revelant?

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

  • ElissaDido
    I like this, all dem betas be cryin' doe
  • 99percentangel
    Completely agree. I'm just looking at the boys in the comments who are getting butthurt. LOL grow a bare and accept that everything she listed is true.
    • lol I spelled a word wrong.

    • Haha thanks. It's blatantly obvious that most guys here don't get laid.

    • No, I don't think it's true at all. It's class A sexism. Plus this girl is 17 trying to define what men are. She's not a woman. Not every man is gonna fit the Macho Manly Man box and guess what that is a-okay. No one wants to get punched in the face and having your girlfriend "scream" at you, hey welcome to an abusive relationship. Don't fucking scream at your partner. She just wants to be a bitch and is defending herself by saying um if you can't put up with me being a bitch, you're not a real man :) okay sweaty?
      Seriously this is one of the worst takes I've ever seen. It's chock full of sexism.

    • Show All
  • Fearless_banana
    A 17 year old girl is going to define to us all what a man really is?
    • Point taken, but thats not really how I read what she wrote. She did make some good points... which are some of the reasons I had zero desire to date highschool BOYS a few short years ago. 🙋

      Not much has changed in college tbh 😂😂😂

    • @CheerGirl38139 lol. She made some valid points but it's more along the lines as to what she attracted to. I just hate it when women try to define what real men are lol. None the less she is 17. I can understand those feels though lol. College girls seem to be the same man. Dunno if Chico state will change anything lol. Huge party school.

    • Lol many college girls are fucktards too.

      And the campus is crawling with tool bag dudes that think they got game and dont... at all...

    • Show All
  • awesomexljr
    This list is so arbitrary and dumb. It's so sexist and spoiled. Not to mention the writer of this is 17. What business does she have determining what is and isn't a "real man"? If you want to be a bitch that's on you but you can't go to men and say, hey men, if you don't like me being a bitch then you aren't a real man. :) Sorry I don't make the rules. :)
  • TayTay21
    Good list. Here's my take on a few items...

    1.) I agree, but I also think girls should be have skills, too. There are too many girls today who refuse to cook or do anything domestic, like they believe it's some kind of slavery.

    2.) I totally agree with this one. Assertive men are the only kind I want. If you want me, come and get me. The end.

    4.) Most guys will try to win arguments. The only thing I don't like is when they resort to pettiness.

    5.) Yes and no. If a guy doesn't care what anyone thinks, that will include you, so be careful about this one.

    6.) YES. I see too many guys who whine about not getting girls, but yet these same guys put zero effort into improving themselves. It's like, hey, those guys who spend 10 hours a week in the gym building muscle have no trouble getting girls, so step it up, guys.

    8.) Agree. Some cockiness is good, but arrogance is a total turn-off.

    9.) I would never demand that a guy get knocked out to prove something to me, but it is good to settle arguments.

    11.) Yes, that's very unattractive. Whining is unattractive because it shows that he's powerless. Not sexy.
  • hellionthesage
    The first one is stupid. So he isn't a real man if he functions in all capacities except that he can't use tools to fix things around the house? So a man that is a doctor isn't a real man if he can't put your table together? Seems, a stupid priority especially in this day and age. I agree that men should be assertive but then their is a difference between him being assertive and him wanting to do what you want him to. ie assertive when he cares to be not when you want it. I would also agree about the passive aggressiveness, however I find that this is a trait most commonly found in girls ie it is applicable, more so to women. Of course he is going to try to win an argument. Why wouldn't he? Because you have a vagina he is just going to acquiesce? Thats not what a real man would do, he would stand by his convictions. Besides which arguing isn't about winning, its about facts, if he is stating a truth he has a far greater obligation to adhere to that then pretend to be wrong because you don't have the proverbial balls to handle being proven wrong. 5,6,7,8 are applicable to every one. As for conflict, yes I think a man should be able to hadle it however choosing to get punched in the face is stupid. Theirs a time and place, its a measure of risk and reward so pushing for conflict where it isn't needed or escalating it when its not necessary is a sign of impuslive irrational emotion ie behavior befiting a child not a man. And again you state how he should be assertive and strong yet then you yet again demand that he be a bitch when it comes to his girlfriend?(admitting he is wrong to give the woman what she wants (ie ego stroked) and to allow her to abuse him simply because she has a vagina and he doesn't) A real man wouldn't tolerate disrepsepct from a woman or a man, but especially not a woman who is dependent on him, thats what children and victims do. In short your take is contradictory and sexist. Congratulations.
  • LaVilaine
    While I don't necessarily disagree with this clickbait list full of trite stereotypes, aren't you a minor? Shouldn't you be dating boys instead of men because it's illegal for you to be dating the latter? Though, you're Mormon so your only goal in life is to get married and have a billion babies.
    • LaVilaine

      @HornyAndReady disgusting. She's a child.

    • She is 17 and I am 21.

      That is the same age differencr between me and the girl I lost my virginity to.

  • KittieCat
    1 - 5 and 9 are just... interesting lol. Anyways who are you to say what a man is? Last I checked you're just like me, barely out of the womb lmao.
  • Nothanks700
    1. Who gives a shit? Call someone to fix it. There are more efficient uses of ones time. And it is sexist to suggest because I'm a man I should be able to fix things.

    2. Assertive or confident? Confidence probably shows growth in maturity. Assertiveness can mean a lot of things, some of them actually detrimental to success.

    3. Agreed- again, sign of maturity

    4. Agreed. Also being a mature man or woman means you shouldn't always try to be right. Your statement "there's no way to win an argument with a woman" shows your lack of maturity.

    5. True to an extent. You do have to care to some extent or you aren't going to get anywhere in life, saying that's not the truth shows a naïveté toward the world.

    6. True, and again, a reflection of maturity. Although it's also just a personality trait. Some people just want to relax, there's nothing wrong with that.

    7. Agreed

    8. Agreed

    9. If you can deal with conflict correctly, you won't let it escalate to the point of being punched. That said, I agree.

    10. True

    11. Also true
  • Kylesar
    #4 was already pushing it, but #9 made this entire take fall apart, mostly because how, together, it paints women as incredibly emotionally empathetic and emotionally abusive towards men, and it reinforces the notion that, when it comes to women, "being a man" means "being a doormat," yet not being one at the same time

    "A man deals with shit, even if it means getting punched in the face by some douche at the bar."
    Sorry, but I'm not getting into a fight at a bar, getting thrown out and probably getting arrested. If that's what it takes to be a man, then I'll gladly stay a boy. I have nothing to prove

    Now on to the main point
    "A man deals with shit... or getting screamed at by your girlfriend."
    "A grown-up man knows there’s no way to win an argument with a woman."

    When you put #4 and #9 together, it basically says she can bitch and nag all she wants, and you should stand there and take it "like a man." If you try to counter, you're a boy. If you leave, you're a boy. They contradict and correlate at the same time.

    Sorry, but I'm not dealing with an emotionally abusive bitch. If you want to scream, I'll literally laugh and walk away and we'll talk when you can act like an adult. Having a vagina doesn't mean I'll just let you scream at me. If that makes me a boy, I don't want to date someone who thinks putting up with that shit makes me a man
  • LittleSally
    Hahahaha Lawd! Soooooo true! You couldn't have written it better. =)

  • poopedmypantsagain
    Well the points you raised are great ones.. but I do wear diapers and rubber pants due to a bad fall... but I still date and believe me the women that go out with me know they have a man on their hands and and not a little boy.. but some will think I am a boy because of wearing those garments I guess
  • Azara
    Are you saying these behaviors are appropriate for an adult s long as that adult is not male?

    Im just not sure why this is directed at Men. This seems like basic growing p stuff people have to deal with or choose not to but end up making really shitty partners friends employees etc.

    I dont have a problem with the points except i dont see how they should be limited to mean. im sure grown men -or women- would not want these traits in a grown woman.
  • SovereignessofVamps
    I agree with the emotional parts. If he's always emotional and especially angry, you've got a potentially abusive guy on your hands. Every story I've heard where the woman was abused, the guy was always a huge gigantic toddler who had tantrums. I don't really agree with the rest or with the reasons why, but if he's emotional then watch out for instability! So true. lots of people on here are used to sexism debates... they don't really put a lot into different contexts, like real life.
    • And I hate how people say you're 17 so this post is stupid. And some of them are younger than you lol, so I don't know how that makes sense. But although I don't agree with most of this, IRL I wish the women I've known who had abusive bfs thought like this, because maybe they would have avoided him. Standards might be sexist sometimes but that doesn't mean they're worse than drama or dating an immature guy.

  • RandomBritishGuy94
    These are a mix between being a good person (respecting people for example) and number 4 that might as well say "You can't always get your own way with him". Some even contradict each other - doesn't argue but is assertive (#2)?

    I think you have no idea how to tell if you're dating a mature man or not because you have no idea what you actually want.
  • Datboi
    I agree with everything but number 6.
    I don't see why a man can't learn new things if he wants to expand his skills and knowledge. You say-if he has to learn then he's still a boy-so what you can't learn new things throughout life like what if he wanted to try guitar or a new sport? Nobody in this world knows every single thing sooo... you get where I'm coming from
  • chc0009
    I'm definitely a man, too bad most women don't want me.

    1. I love fixing things. Even if I can't, I'll try it anyways.
    2. I can be quite assertive, due to my stubbornness.
    3. I'm not passive-aggressive, if I don't like it, I'll show it.
    4. I have my differences, but if I have to compromise, I will.
    5. I do worry about what other people think, but I don't let it bother me too much. Like some people laugh at me for dressing like a goth, but I just don't fucking care.
    6. I LOVE self-improvement.
    7. Not just looks to me. She has to care for me because if she doesn't, I will end the relationship right there. I've had several fake friends, so I will not tolerate any more bullshit.
    8. I'm mostly a silent, humble, and respectful person. Too bad that doesn't really attract women, since a lot of them prefer the cocky, fiery, and light-hearted douchebags.
    9. I used to not want to handle conflict, but if it comes up, I will not hesitate. If a douche wants to throw down, then I will and most likely win, since I'm a black belt in taekwondo.
    10. I admit that I used to whine a lot. But now, I'm the type of man who doesn't like to tell his problems, unless the person wants to know.

    Based on this, I'd be a proper man for women, but too bad most of them don't want to give me chance.
    • chc0009

      Also forgot 10. I do respect several woman figures. My mother, my sister, and the elderly. And, as an aspiring cyber security professional, my favorite woman figure in history goes by the name of Ada Lovelace. She was the world's first computer programmer and the modern computer wouldn't exist if it hadn't been for her.

  • Mesmaeker
    The first thing that came into mind was; "conservative", "preconceptions", and "contradictory".

    Then i looked at your age and thought; "i hope she's only being provocative to stir up a little discussion."

    If not, then yóu are the one who still has to learn a lot.
  • genuinlysensitive
    Lol change the pronouns around and it sounds like my ex to a T (except #7)! Now I don't really care if my woman can't fix anything or isn't very assertive, but all the rest on there yea it doesn't make for a very good woman...
  • noisette91
    Ther's no general definition of a "man"... A real man is simply someone who's got your back and will be there for you when things get tough. It's someone you can count on. Just like a real woman (not a girl) is the same thing for guys.
  • Ssimon91

    I can fix things up and what not. But I promise if i were to say the difference between a woman and a girl is that a woman can cook, while a girl can't.

    a lot of girls would be pissed the fuck off
    • I wouldn't be. I think all adults should be able to cook, and all adults should be able to assemble an IKEA book case. It doesn't need to be a gender thing.

  • AbleLearner

    I don't want any woman like you. You have no idea what a relationship is, you are a little girl who is a spoiled brat.
  • MakeShiftThug
    When your bae says you ain't a man cuz you can't "put together an IKEA bookshelf":
  • Levin
    You do realise you've just described all the stereotypical female qualities. So what you're really saying, is that you hate women, and you can't stand to be with your self :P
  • iOoko
    you're a girl, not a woman. instead of growing up and learn to be independent, you want to find a new daddy. an ideal daddy, who can fix anything, will always condescend to his little daughter, will "get punched" for her... such a man will never waste his time on you. grow up instead. nobody will work for you and fix all your problems. even though you're a woman and disney movies taught you otherwise. sorry
  • frozenhorizon
    So you think he should be assertive and not passive aggressive, but also not try to win arguments with women and "deal with" conflict by sticking around?

    At make your take consistent with itself before you write it...
  • cinderelli
    Although I do agree with a few points..(5, 8, 9, 10) I don't like this annoying traits in men.. but I must say that you yourself are a teenager.. you are not mature enough to decide what a mature man is and what he's not..
  • BigJake
    It's comical in the extreme to read a list written by a girl who isn't yet a woman telling guys what it means to be a man.
  • lightbulb27
    Awsome job! Not so sure about #1, that isn't fair... not all males are good mechanically.

    12. He has a job or the confidence and drive to get one.
  • MrAtticusLebowski
    Nice write up but seems you've blended two undesirable personality types. 2-3 of these seem like unpleasant traits regardless of gender and maturity.
  • AhGojira
    I suppose that makes you a little girl. Guess you don't get a man...
  • 00Lelouchxx
    Well I guess I'm a boy. because I'm and 10

    Lol no WOMAN gonna tell me how to be MAN

    Your funny

  • EllieLexis513
    Good points though it really depends on the guy. I don't agree with #1, though. Not being able to fix things has nothing to do with being a man.
  • NourSy
    Nah that wouldn't make a man boyish.
    If he got u pregnant and skated out he would be a boy other than that it's just some philosophical shit that even Aristotle would shake his head at!
  • BoobMan
    Nice take! I've been guilty of a couple these from time to time and it's definitely a good reminder of things to work on!
  • watercolor_lions
    I think integrity is important. Is he a good person? Is he kind? Is his character strong? Is he so secure in himself that he doesn't have to sink to other people's level?

    This list has a lot of traits that any douche bag can fulfill. Only a man with good character will be willing to grow as a person, respect women, and be willing to face adversity with humility and confidence.

    And some men are passive because they'd rather not argue about petty things—they don't really care, so why not let the woman be happy?

    I want to marry a strong man, but I don't want his strength to be overwhelming; he needs to know how to be gentle, and assert things with logic, not force.
  • blondfrog
    And remember everyone this 17 year old little girl believes its okay for women to do all these other things, but a man can't. Move along little girl and focus on school.
  • Phoenix98
    I'll agree with everything except 4# all guys try to win fights, plus women are unnaturally good at fighting so it makes it better when we win.
  • Azgeda
    lol sounds more like 11 things you need to be to be a decent human being.
  • Polocrew
    12) He is not tall jacked athletic dude who look like freaking hulk and does not feel himself staring at his own naked bod in mirror
  • John_Doesnt
    Sorry to inform you that most men stay like that till the day they die. We don't "grow out" of most of those things.
  • ikissedtheskyonce
    Dang some the guys I use to date were boys then but then some actually were just assholes and the rest were immature
  • wankiam
    are you sure the guy portrayed above is not actually a woman?
  • Tanuron
    can't really say I agree, with some points sure. But like nr 2 for example to me, shows more that someone is still just a boy whos insesucre about himself and has to overcompensate that way and funny thing, you have to be arrogant really to be that way, which conflicts with nr 8. And yeah being assertive, I dont see how you are humble.

    An seriously is not hard to win an argument against a woman. Are a lot of stupid people of both genders naturally, so anyone with a brain would rather find it easy to win them in general, regardless of the sex.

    But either way, Mesonfielde summed it up nicely anyway. So I dont have to add more.
  • Wow, this take is shit. I can't really add anything to what @Mesonfielde said.
  • Ratiocinative
    This take is pretty generic, but I know so many guys who suffer from several of these on this list and it completely kills there chance at dating a decent woman, so basic and generic is what a lot of guys need. I would just add neediness and over-contacting to the list, though I supposed that could be included in number 5.

    In fact, my previous best friend suffered from at least half of these and along with his neediness he was just unbearable to be around. He'd brag about dates he'd get, but they were always a new woman. Not much to brag about if they all reject you by the 2nd or 3rd date.
  • Napoli
    1&2 really? ... other than than that, you maybe have a point to some degree.
  • Marinepilot
    This is a load of shit ! I can't believe anyone with half a brain would believe one word of this.
    • Rissyanne

      Actually I think she has it right on.

    • @Rissyanne I disagree. Rissyanne, once again we agree to disagree. That's cool.

  • FantasticDay
    A man is a man when he truly fell in love with a woman.
    • Unit1

      So a man can fall in love with someone whilst abusing and restricting his girlfriend and pretend it's "love". Doesn't happen too uncommon.

  • matt1209
    These are good things both sexes can improve in. Another grown up trait you left out is being responsible.

    Being on time
    Making sure bills are payed
    Keeping your promises