Why Women Actually Go for Looks Instead of Personality

Why Women Actually Go for Looks Instead of Personality

Here you are. At a coffee shop looking at your dream girl. She's sitting down with a caramel frappe and looking at her laptop. You decide to get the guts to go and talk to her. You say to her "Hey! I saw you sitting here and I thought you were pretty cute so I came over to talk to you. My name is (insert name)" and she straight up ignores you. Chances are that it wasn't your personality at fault here; it was your looks.

Gentlemen, it is time to realize that women care about your looks more than your personality. We don't live in a fairy-tale land where you can get any girl you want with ogre looks and a great personality. Looks will always dominate personality and this applies for both genders too. I already know what the comments are going to be too. "Oh, he's such a beta male. More women for me!", "Might as well go gay" or "You have no clue what women older than you are like! You only know about girls who are your age." Let me get something clear, I am not here to bash women, just stating facts. I am 17 years old and I know of my experiences and others I have interviewed. Let's start off with how girls act over time.


Ah middle school, this is where relationships begin. These relationships are very shitty and only last about a week usually. This is because the couple has no clue of what they are doing. They think second base is holding hands. This is usually where all the experiments happen too, like kissing. Most people get their first kiss during their middle school career. Men and women base their relationships off of looks, or they date you because they feel bad. This was the case for me. I had three girlfriends in middle school and none of them actually liked me. They only did because they felt bad, it was only out of sympathy. Girls during middle school won't even talk to you if you are ugly. To sum everything up, looks are way way above personality.

Why Women Actually Go for Looks Instead of Personality


As a senior in high school, i'd say that so far high school has been fun. I've had lots of memorable times with my friends and hopefully want to continue that, but the girls still act like, well, girls. They still think that looks are greater than personality, but now the relationships last longer. Relationships in high schools varies from a month to all four years of high school. Girls in high school are more "open". They like to do more stuff like sex for example. It feels as though getting a girlfriend is so easily accessible in high school, if you are attractive. Unattractive guys like me are left in the dust.

Girls still don't want to be associated with you if you are unattractive. I've never had a girlfriend through my high school career and still don't have my first kiss. Last year for prom, I had to bring my best friend's younger sister (who was a freshman at the time) to prom because my friends practically begged me to go to prom even though I didn't want to go. It wasn't even that fun because I kept seeing real couples together and how happy they were. This year I don't even plan to go to prom at all because I know that girls only care about looks.


Why Women Actually Go for Looks Instead of Personality

Okay, so this is the point of the myTake where I had to get other men's experiences with women because I'm not in college yet. College is the place to find your potential soulmate. Girls and guys alike are out to find their potential mate; however, girls STILL only look for attractive guys. Personality is now playing a bit more of a dominate role, but looks is still on top. Now is the point in life where you must have looks, but now you need your personality to backup your looks. The reality is that a lot of guys who are in college are single because they are unattractive. It's kinda sad if you ask me.


This is the final point of the evolution. You are out of college and now in the real world. It's time to put your major to use and get a job, house, car, etc. Guess what women are like post college? Yep! They still look for only attractive guys. They keep doing this until they hit the "wall". Once they have hit the wall, their standards lower, thus unattractive guys have a slightly better chance of getting into a relationship. This is also the period in which status becomes a big factor. Some women will put status over everything, but this take isn't about gold diggers so they are irrelevant. The majority of women want a guy who is good looking.


Now, do you know the reason why girls are really only into good looking guys? Because that is what attracts them more, not personality. I know that personality plays a big part, but let's be real here, if an ogre-looking dude comes up to you to introduce himself and he has an amazing personality would you consider dating him! No! He must meet your physical standards in order for you to be attracted him. I know that you can say the same thing with guys but in reality, girls turn down guys more than guys turn down girls. Girls will always say "Well I can just say guys only want girls with big boobs.", but then once a guy, who doesn't meet her physical standards, approaches her she will turn him down and talk to her friends about how ugly he was. I'm not saying that women misogynistic or anything, but you simply can't say that when you go around and do the same thing. It's hypocritical. Girls can't help themselves as it is part of evolution.

Why Women Actually Go for Looks Instead of Personality


There is the girl on YouTube called SSSsniperwolf. She's a very attractive girl gamer who makes Call of Duty gameplay and I really like her content, but she used to date this guy who goes by Sausage. Now, Sausage isn't the most handsome looking dude, but SSSsniperwolf still dated him and said that it was because of his personality, not necessarily his looks. That has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard and I don't believe it for one second. Ogre looking dudes don't get attractive girls unless they have something on the table that is HUGE like money, big house(s), nice car(s), etc... In the words of Kanye West, "Now I ain't sayin she a gold digger, but she ain't messin with no broke, broke......" That kinda sums up what I think about SSSsniperwolf, not hating her though I love her content, but something was up between them. So don't believe girls or dating coaches when they say "Personality is way over looks guys!" because it isn't. It isn't logical.


For the people who are going to say that I am bitter, I guess I am a little bit. I can't really blame girls though they can't help themselves, but it sucks when I get turned down because i'm "ugly". I've been called "handsome" by a few girls i'm cool with, older women, and even some guys (not out of homosexual content), but I never believe them. I've been rejected too many times to believe them. i don't think i'm handsome at all quite frankly. I also use to believe that "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" bullshit too.

To some extent, it's true, but it's mostly false. Good looking guys get good looking girls and unattractive guys get nothing. The unattractive girls are too busy chasing the attractive guys to be worried about the unattractive guys. To sum up everything, girls want looks over personality. Hate to break it to you, but we don't live in a world where we unattractive men can get Kendall Jenner or Emily Ratojkoski. Please feel free to leave feedback and i'll try to respond to as many comments as I can. Thanks for reading!

Why Women Actually Go for Looks Instead of Personality
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59Guy Opinion

Most Helpful Girl

  • lumos
    Men are so confused. They always want to claim that men are visual creatures, more so than women, and that that's why you're obsessed with looks. Yet you also want to make it seem like women care more about looks, despite men always labelling themselves as "visual". So which one fucking is it lol.
    You're quite selfish for thinking that if a woman ignores you, it MUST be because YOU don't look good enough. You don't know shit about her, she might be taken, or busy, or gay, or not interested in relationships. Don't jump to conclusions, that makes this mytake fake af.
    Is this still revelant?
    • ADFSDF1996

      I hope he's rightπŸ˜†.

    • ADFSDF1996

      He's had better luck encountering visual women.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • Baumber
    You do realize that the majority of guys do the same exact thing, right? When I take girls out on dates, I must be both mentally and physically attracted to her. And by the way, I'm not the most attractive guy, but I date girls that are far beyond my "league." Must be something with your negative, victimized personality. Girls don't owe guys anything. They can date whoever they want and if they aren't attracted to you, then so be it!
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      I said in the beginning of my take that this really applies to both genders, but since i'm a guy I talked about how women want good looking guys over personality. Let me ask you something. Did those girls like you? Did they date you because they felt bad? Also, describe me girls who you think are out of your "league" because we could be talking about different girls here. Of course they don't owe me anything i'm just saying that you need to be attractive to be able to talk to a girl.

    • Baumber

      Basically people would look at us 2 and wonder how the hell I'm dating such a hot girl. Each and every one of the girls I've dated liked me. I also had a couple random hookups with some good looking girls and they definitely didn't feel bad for me. I just don't worry about what girls think of me. If they turn me down then I'll just move onto the next girl. I don't hold it against them for not being interested in me.

    • Anonymous

      I'm sorry but i'm kind of calling bullshit here. This seems more like a fantasy, or you got something else like status.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • ElissaDido
    Short answer: If we're going to have sex I need to be somehow physically attracted to you.
    We want both looks and personality.
    • Anonymous

      Looks>personality, but other than that you agree so thanks

    • Mrwoo99

      Well you don't need personality to get laid, you could be even a criminal and still get women if your born with good genetics like tall height and facial symmetry. Both looks and personality are best but without looks it pointless trying to get a girlfriend if you have personality or game alone. You might as well chase money and status then buy women instead.

    • CHRIS11796

      Let's be real here though looks over personality that's what it boils down to.

    • Show All
  • BuchitaBuchys
    I always laugh when guys ask or post takes about this, as if somehow, they made a huge revelation. Lol nope.

    It's human nature, WE ALL want someone who's attractive and that we like they're personality. Looks are the initial attraction, but personality keeps you with them. That doesn't mean looks matter more, it just means that's where it starts. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that because everyone should be happy with their partner.

    Are you telling me that if Rosie O'Donell or Honey Boo Boo's mom were to be super nice and caring, that you'd pick her over Scarlett Johansson or Mila Kunis? I highly doubt you or the majority of men would. And there's nothing wrong with that, it's human nature.
    So unless you'd give that "ogre looking" woman a shot, you're no better than the women you look down on. And no, "pity dates" don't count, to me that is even worse because you're giving them false hopes, and just trying to make yourself look better and "open minded". Knowing damn well you'll never want anything serious with them.

    • https://i.imgur.com/H3C3Ixu.jpg
      Here's the guy version. Everyone wants someone attractive and a good personality. This doesn't mean looks are more important.

    • Anonymous

      I'm not trying to make a revelation, in fact this is pretty basic stuff, but some people need to wake up and smell the reality. Also, looks play a major role that is more important than personality. Once the relationship starts going, then the personality trait becomes more and more important, but looks will always be king.

    • Looks aren't king, they are just necessary for initial attraction. Personality is the deciding factor in the end.

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  • This_is_my_username
    • yeah... guys should just know their place and shut up about it... and those uppity BLM people should do so as well... right?

    • Anonymous

      So you use a gif and a meme to combat my take... Ok

    • nahhh @Asker I'm just tried of seeing this same thing over again. And then trying to present another side of the story and getting shut down in the process. I'm not going to waste my time fighting with stubborn people who've already made up their mind. And oh ya You don't speak for women ya know. Just like women don't speak for men.

    • Show All
  • ginny_weasley
    "I love it when men think they know everything about women and decide to speak for all of us. Jesus take the wheel I get all tingly when they take control like that. " - said no woman ever.
    • Anonymous

      I speak for the majority, yes.

    • Good lord. You are writing a take about women and you're under 18? Young padawan, you have a lot to learn.

    • You are sadly mistaken.

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  • Chico_brah
    It's obvious that if you are batshit ugly you will have a severe disadvantage in life. Let's talk about the general population for a minute here though.

    Looks will get you in the door, personality is everything else. You only have to be a 5/10 to a girl to get your foot in the door. After that it's all about selling yourself. Women dig that rugged confidence that a lot of men carry.

    They want a man that is sure of himself, not an insecure boy who determines his self worth by his looks. If that guy is unsure of himself how can they make a woman feel secure within herself.

    I'm probabaly considered average, above average to some women facially. I have taken a lot hits to my face and have scar tissue under my eyes, my nose is deviated, my jaw has been hit so hard that it's actually off it's tracks so to speak. No girls are telling me I'm absolutely gorgeous. No girls are telling me I'm pretty despite my blue eyes baha.

    Bro I have absolutely no issues attracting women. I'm a bodybuilder and have a great physique. I work my ass at university. I can make literally anybody laugh. I can charm. I'm confident within myself and it shows through the way I carry myself and how I communicate. Women pick up on that really well.

    As man your value is not dictated by your looks. Women are judged on their looks more so than men.

    I think even women worry about that too much sometimes. Having a trophy gym bunny girlfriend has its perks. It shows some status to your friends and you'll get respect from a lot of other local bros. It can be an ego boost. The younger girls that are top tier are usually entitled as fuck, there are a lot of them that are also extremely insecure because their whole self value by others is based on their looks, so they have to upkeep a certain image. After a month those rose colored lenses wear off and you see the person for who they are. If they are entitled and annoying as fuck then where is the fun in that? Been there done that. jpg I MUCH rather have a girl that continuously turns me on with every word that they say.

    I see a lot of guys that are OBSESSED with their looks in bodybuilding. I see this A LOT, and I just laugh because they are acting like fucking insecure women. Yes bodybuilding is about beauty in the body but I see these guys talking about facial routines and designer clothing shit all the time lol. Women aren't attracted to that cringe mindset.

    • Chico_brah

      If you are consistent with your theory, then why wasn't Elliot Rodgers a complete stud with the ladies?

      Pretty decent looking dude right? He had a shit load of money and drove a BMW to his college. Women wouldn't even look in his direction because he was insecure as fuck and carried himself like a social autist. They were repulsed by him because of THAT, not his looks. The dude was so frustrated that he randomly shot up a bunch of people at his university.

    • Anonymous

      Women are very attracted to people who have an amazing physique and in some cases it tops looks. I personally am pretty skinny. I'm about 120 pounds, but I go to the gym a lot and I have a few gains from the gym, however I am no where close to a Zac Efron physique. This, however, all goes along in the looks department.

    • Chico_brah

      Well then why are you self pitying yourself into the mindset of an insecure 12 year old girl? Self fulfilling prophecy if you will. You can change your body. You can change your cringe mindset. Women are all about emotion dude. They are emotionally driven. If you can make them feel a certain way, whether it's good or bad, they will be attracted to you. Women that say they hate their ex boyfriends still think about them all the time. It's all about how they FEEL. As soon as you can't make a women emotionally responsive to you then she will leave. That's why mindset/confidence is so important with women.

    • Show All
  • WillowTree
    "Hey! I saw you sitting here and I thought you were pretty cute so I came over to talk to you. My name is (insert name)" and she straight up ignores you."

    Or maybe it's because you sounded like a creep that's just trying to get laid by starting off with saying she's cute?

    Maybe she has a boyfriend or a fiance or recently separated and doesn't want to be bothered with you?

    Or maybe she just came to the freaking coffee shop so she could work in peace?

    NOPE! It just HAD to be ALL about how this goddess-like beauty didn't deem you looks worthy enough to stand in her presence! My gosh, what the hell is wrong with these visual obsessed females and their impossible to reach standards! The least she could've done is give this strange man off the street the time of day because he gave her the honor of a verbal compliment. To hell with the coffee and the laptop, lets spend 10 minutes chatting with a complete stranger whom she had absolutely no interest or time for.

    Male entitled theorist like you says we have to accept and associate ourselves with every guy who approaches us. As if it's our obligation to drop everything to give you a chance to score. I go to the grocery store to shop. I'm NOT trying to get picked up. I go to to coffee shop to concentrate and get my daily injection of caffeine , NOT TO GET PICKED UP. You make is sound like we have no choice but to give you the time of day no matter what our situation is, no matter what we're doing, no matter what thing that may take precedence over our lives, WE HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

    NO WE DON'T.

    Just like YOU DON'T have to give a girl you don't find attractive the time of day. That is your right just as much as it is ours. But you can keep groaning on about looks since there's certainly no other logical and rational real world explanation why women don't want to talk to you.
    • So what is the right way to approach?

    • Anonymous

      @QuestionMan How is that a creepy approach? If you tell the girl that she is cute and you came up to say hi to her how is that creepy? That is more flattering than creepy. Secondly, if she did have a fiance or husband, she should of said "Hey, sorry but I got a (insert relationship status)". If she doesn't want to be bothered
      1.) Why would she go to a public coffee shop where anyone can talk to anyone
      2.) She could lie and say that she has a boyfriend
      3.) Tell the truth and say that she doesn't want to be bothered at the moment.
      I'm not entitled, women don't have to date me. Your statement also proves my point that looks comes before personality.

    • Anonymous

      @QuestionMan Sorry I was talking to the opinion owner not you.

  • RainbowFanGirl
    You haven't met me. 😛To me, personality is way more important than looks. You can look hot, but if your personality is shit, then that automatically negates a lot of points in your overall attractiveness to me.
    • Anonymous

      But what if they guy was really unattractive? Would you still give him the time of day? Like Chico_brah said, looks kicks open the door then personality comes, not vise versa

    • Yes I would if he was sweet and kind enough.

    • I would so long as you're not an ass and listen and we get to know each other then yeah. I just want someone who is like my best friend that I know I can trust, won't lie to me no matter how bad the truth is and will always be there for me.

    • Show All
  • starliteyes
    I'm not super PC but maybe it could be because you are straight up objectifying her.. she's your dream girl? Why? The bitch didn't even speak to you? Her looks.

    And you seem to think liking sometimes entitles you to it.. no sir. She doesn't have to respond. You're not her type and if it's because your looks.. well you're no less shallow then she is so quit being a sanctimonious prick.
    • *something

    • Anonymous

      Never have I said that I am entitled to any woman. I'm simply stating that this is true and by your comment you have only confirmed my take so thanks.

    • Yeah! You just confirmed the OP's argument xD

  • Puppylove94
    Lmao 1) you need to find the person you're dating attractive. Notice I said YOU, not everyone. A guy doesn't have to be the hottest guy ever, as long as he's attractive to me

    2) yeah looks are important for approaching and the initial stages of dating, but I wouldn't stay with a guy if I didn't mentally connect with him. That would lead to a very boring life.
    • Funny enough, the person who wrote this didn't mention anything about wealth, or money. I guess Hugh Hefner gets all of those girls by his looks!

    • Anonymous

      See you've proved my point. The guy has to be attractive. Then further in the relationship the personality aspect starts to rise, but looks will always be on top.

    • Looks as in I need to find the person attractive. What I find attractive may not be what someone else finds attractive. It goes along with that saying, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

      @EnglishArtsteacher what are you talking about?

    • Show All
  • whyisitso
    When you guys approach women, do you think about her personality? Well, probably not, because you do not know her yet... you will most likely choose to approach a girl you think is attractive. You think that is your dreamgirl! But whaat? She doesn't want you to approach her? What is wrong with her? She is just so shallow she turns you down just knowing your looks?
    I'll just leave it here for you to think about it.
    • Anonymous

      Hmmm... If she doesn't want you to approach her that means she isn't into your looks. It can't be because she isn't into your personality because she doesn't know you, it can't be because she has a boyfriend because if that was the case she wouldn't care if you did or not she would just tell you that she has a boyfriend, and it isn't that she doesn't want to be bothered because everyone likes compliments and if you go up to her and flirt with her (complimenting her and such), then she will blush and giggle because everyone likes compliments.

    • whyisitso

      Not exactly like that, why do you think she is interested in any men at all? Also even if a girl says she has a boyfriend guys often try to continue the convo.
      But this wasn't really the point. The point is that men and women aren't too different, just think abut it.
      And to add here, an important point you are missing: for example if I turn a guy down it is most likely because he has behaved like a total ass. Not really much to do with his face. But ofc I would not be very trilled to date a guy I am not at all attracted to either, it wouldn't be fair for the guy either. It is just the way things work on this planet earth of ours.

  • Bandit74
    I agree the looks matter more because looks can actually somewhat stand on their own, while personality can't.

    I believe a person who looks great but has a mediocre personality will have a much easier time getting sex and relationships compared to a person who looks mediocre but has a great personality.

    So looks play more of a role in how how successful you will be with the opposite sex than personality does. Looks are more likely to be the limiting factor, and not personality.

    I would also say that women typically have higher standards on looks for casual sex than men do. However, men typically have higher standards on looks for relationships than women do. Bassically, the lower the level of commitment and investment from the guy, the higher womens standards will be on sexual attraction, while for men their standards on sexual attraction often go down for girls they are not comitting or investing in. Then for relationships, women still want a guy who meets a baseline level of attractiveness but they aren't as picky about looks as they were for casual sex. However, the guy has to be more intelligent and have more earning potential.

    So Women are more likely to have casuaul sex with men who are more attractive than they are, while men are more likely to get into relationships with women who are more attractive than they are (but usually only if the guy is smarter or makes at least slightly more than she does).
    • Anonymous

      Exactly my point

  • JohnDoe3000
    As a guy, looks get you in the door, personality keeps you in... BUT, because of the halo effect the better your looks the more you can get away with a shitty or mediocre personality, even when the girl actually believes she likes guys for their personalities. If you only have looks you can still get casual sex, if you only have personality you get nothing.

    As a girl it's the same, except you can still get casual sex if you're not attractive (as long as you're not morbidly obese and/or butt ugly).

    I agree with the Asker that it's simply annoying that girls just won't be upfront about this, though I think that often they really do believe their own BS about the importance of a genuine good personality.

    Personally I see this too: occasionally I notice a girl is really into me and until now it's always been the case she likes me within 5 seconds after meeting me and it feels like it doesn't matter one bit what I do or say after that, but they still claim to like my personality. Whenever a girl isn't into me within those 5 seconds I could be the second coming of Shakespeare with everyone else in the room hanging on my lips but she still won't give a f*ck.

    One time I fell in love, over time, with a girl's personality even though initially I found her just "meh" visually, not ugly, but meh, (she had been into me from the first 5 seconds and had pursued me), but I've never had a girl do that with me and sometimes I wonder if it ever really happens or whether all girls just simply rationalize their initial butterflies with talk of "personality" and "mental compatibility" and most girls who claim to be into "deep conversations" and stuff like that really aren't, or have ridiculously low standards for it (especially if the guy's hot).
    • Anonymous

      yep. and the reason she's into in 5 seconds is because of your looks. One cannot tell one's personality in 5 seconds.

  • xHoneyxBeex
    Of course looks matter. I don't know any man or woman who wants to date someone they aren't physically attracted to. Let's be real, EVERYONE cares about looks, at least to an extent. That being said, to claim that looks are the only thing that matters is completely false. Looks are only what causes initial attraction.

    Personality still matters to make a relationship last. If someone is attractive but has a shitty personality, I'm not going to be interested in any type of relationship with them. So in reality, looks AND personality both matter when it comes to forming a healthy, long-term relationship.
    • Anonymous

      Yes, obviously you need your personality to backup your looks, but looks is what gets you in to get to know your personality.

    • CHRIS11796

      Na you don't need personality when you got the looks, it all boils down to looks.

    • @CHRIS11796 You're entitled to your opinion.

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  • Relentless_Hippie
    Why are people so pathetic on the internet?

    Seriously. You're the one who thinks you're ugly and because of your personal experiences with middle school and high school children you think the world is dark and bleak. Please stop your self pity.
    • Anonymous

      The world is dark and bleak, you must be looking through rose covered glasses. You wouldn't understand if you are attractive. Also, I've stated in the beginning of the take that these are based of my experiences AND OTHER MEN'S EXPERIENCES.

    • These small experiences you're discussing do NOT make them the facts of life. I'm a mixed person, I'm Puerto Rican and Jamaican. Growing up as a child and being around people who weren't used to mixed raced individuals I was constantly bullied and questioned.

      I was always told by boys I was ugly, I was weird, it was wrong for me to be mixed, I'm too dark, I'm too light, I only like "x" girls etc etc etc.

      That was my life all the way up to middle school until black American boys took notice of me. And from there is was "you're sexy come spend time with me." (the answer was always no, I wasn't allowed to date until I turned 18).

      But anyways as a child I began puberty at age 7-8 and finished at age 10. When I was 10 years old I was a 34C in bras and they were only growing. Can you imagine the amount of sexual harassment I underwent during what should've been innocent years of my schooling, and in spite of wearing a uniform everyday?

      I high school my self esteem was so low I would

    • I would avoid being the spotlight of anything. I didn't attend school dances, our school field trips, football games, nothing. I felt so bad about myself from the bullying and harrasment that LITERALLY started from kindergarten that I wanted to be invisible to everyone around me and it worke. d

      The truth is I was never ugly, I'm actually quite beautiful and get attention now, but the people I grew up around made me feel like trash. My first boyfriend was at age 18 and we're still together now after two years and we plan on getitng married.

      If it were you, who were in my shoes using your thinking. You would talk about how men are pathetic, shallow, evil, perverted animals with no respect. But this isn't true right? So if I were to say these foul things about men and you could see how it was flawed then why can't you see this? Because I could find PLENTY of women with my same experience. But once again, that doesn't make it the fact of life.

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  • sugar95
    Despite gender, we as people are naturally attracted to attractive things and people. Just as we like glitter and neon. But, we don't "go for looks instead of personality". They are just two factors we ALL look for in people; neither is more 'significant' than the other and I don't like how you've made women sound like we're heartless people who only care about visuals. Men are way more visual anyway.
    • Anonymous

      Looks is more important that personality in BOTH genders. Personality plays a big role, but you must have the looks in order for her to see your personality. Men tend to be more open about unattractive women, however women tend to do it more. They keep it on the DL about it. Kind of interesting if you ask me.

    • sugar95

      Seeing that's you're only a teenager, believe me when I tell you that things will not be like that when you're older. Don't worry.

    • You contradict yourself by the way. The reason that men are more open about looks is because we are more physically impulsive, not because looks are less important to us, to be clear, we give into our physical drives more easily than women. That does not support the idea that looks are more important to women. Conversely, women will much more likely follow through with a guy if she relates to him on a personal level meaning 'looks' play a much lesser role on whether she stick it out with him or not, that's not true of men.

  • realityphil
    I can't believe that looks vs personality debate came that far and is even discus-sable like it's really some dilemma, while it clearly isn't. If you really have to ask such question, just gather some attractive guys, ask them how many girls they've fucked, compare this number to average joe's and you'll get the black and white correlation. Looks > Personality. Is it that hard? Or check out which guys are women stalking, harassing, begging for sex and sending walls of stupid and delusional texts and you'll see that in all cases it's about exceptionally attractive looking guys and in most cases, they're dickheads because they can afford being that. Looks > Personality.

    And one more little secret: the perception of personality is heavily based on ones looks, which means that if you're good looking, you'll be perceived with positive personality traits, and if you're not, you'll be seen with negative personality traits. How do women call an unattractive guy who doesn't speak much? A creep. How do women call an attractive guy who doesn't speak much? That's right, a mysterious guy.

    But at the end of the day, even if one has clearly negative personality traits and but is good looking enough, women will go with good looks any time. Just think of this pattern: lots of girls reject hundreds of guys and pullout of dozens dates in order to find a right one whom they'll lose virginity with. They say they're waiting for mr right who has this and that personality trait. But at the end they fuck some random stud in matters of hours. Conclusion? Just be hot (attractive looking) enough since looks > personality.

    source: statistical analytics big data expert, human psychology expert, evolutionary psychology expert, biology expert, from attractive guy to average joe aging expert, knowing women expert , what women say is not what women think is not what women do expert
    • Anonymous

      You've hit the nail on the head. This take is pretty basic in concept, but some guys and girls just don't understand the reality of it.

  • ObviouslyOriginalMe
    I guess as a generalization this is true... But I can't agree that it's all of the time. I always value personality first and always have. Something guys should take into account though is that there isn't one version of attractive. My attractive is tall, skinny, pale, bright eyes, and I LOVE freckles. My boyfriend is all of that plus some unexpected characteristics that grew on me... But not many girls agree that he is sooooo freaking sexy. Which is fine, more for me :)
    • Anonymous

      There are always exceptions to the rule, however you must understand that most girls do think that looks are better than personality.

    • Oh I know they do, but they end up in shitty relationships typically. Comparability is based more on personality and it can be really bad to only care for each other look wise. I'd love to know what I said that was so bad I got down voted... But... Yeah. Like I said, as a generalization your post is correct.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks. I appreciate you reading.

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  • ShaeNielson
    Ohh poor baby, women only going for men they find attractive, how horrible. We all know how men won't mind dating the "ugly girl" because it's what inside that counts.

    You're being very close minded here, of course if you only consider attractive women then yes they are going to be more likely to only date attractive men, because they can.
    • Anonymous

      I'm not complaining about it i'm just stating that this is what happens. In the beginning of the take, I stated that this can go both ways, however (I should of probably made this more clear) women tend to do it more. Men are more open about calling people ugly so you here about those cases more often, but in fact women do it more and are a lot more sneaky with it.

    • If it comes as a surprise to anyone that people date people they find attractive, then they're morons. You can't claim women do it more without scientific backup.

    • Anonymous

      This take's main purpose is to explain to the people who say "Personality over looks is key!" that they are wrong. This post will seem basic to people who already understand the concept.

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  • Cosytoasty
    Do girls care about looks? Yes
    Do you have to match THEIR physical standards? Yes
    Are those standards universal? No

    You'll cringe so hard in 5 years if you read this again, but for the moment, let's say you're correct - what are you going to do about your situation? So coffee shop girl turns you down, just go find an ugly girl to tap.
    • Anonymous

      Standards are not universal, but the looks>personality thing is. If you don't meet their physical standards, then you're out of luck. The only thing you can do about the situation is to try it on more girls, because as you said, standards aren't universal.

  • Dipsy
    When the girl rejected/ignored you at the coffee shop, it's not because you're unattractive, it's because you come across as a creep.

    "I saw you sitting here [stalker?] and I thought you were cute [immediately compliment about looks?]."

    If you wanted to talk to her so badly, I'd've asked her a question, which gets her attention in a neutral way. And after that try to make a conversation out of it.

    by the way, she is also not worth much for not replying to you, so part is her fault too.
    • Anonymous

      That isn't creepy, that is showing that you are attracted to her. If you an attractive girl sitting down somewhere at the coffee shop that doesn't mean that you are a stalker. With your logic, that means that if I even look in the direction of a pretty girl that I am automatically a stalker. If she ignores you, it's because you're unattractive.

    • Dipsy

      Showing attraction when you haven't even talked to a woman IS creepy. "Hey I've been checking you out" can come across as "I've been watching you for the past 5 minutes", which definitely IS creepy.

      You should try to talk to woman in a neutral manner, and not hit on them immediately.
      Women don't want to be loved for their bodies. They want to be loved for who they really are. Their personality.
      If you start the conversation with a compliment about her looks, she will most likely assume you want something from her. Namely, her body. Thus she ignores.

    • Anonymous

      No, women love compliments more than anything. If you have the attractive face for it, you can get away with saying that she is cute. Also there is a difference between "Hey I've been checking you out" and "Hey I saw you sitting over here". Seeing someone sitting somewhere isn't creepy, checking you out IS creepy.

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  • Imbisexual19
    Oooh my god you're so ignorant! Don't speak for all women okay?
    • Anonymous

      You're right. I'm sorry I should of clarified. The majority of women do this. As in probably 90%

    • Okay. Thank you! Because I was reading this and I definitely do not fit into this lol

    • Anonymous

      Yeah. The majority of girls go after looks first then personality. There is a small minority that don't and they are very hard to come by

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  • datgirl
    *sigh* Another guy that thinks he knows what he's talking about when it comes to women.
    • Anonymous

      The majority, yes.

    • datgirl

      Nah bruh. People shouldn't talk if they don't know what they are talking about.

    • Anonymous

      So if an ugly guy walks up to you would you let him say his peace and see if his personality is worth it or not?

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  • ADFSDF1996
    I wish women went for looks. You seem to have encountered the opposite women of what I've encountered. Most women I've encountered only care more about personality. I'm glad there are women that care about looks.
    • Anonymous

      What kind of lala land are you living in?

    • ADFSDF1996

      It's called reality

    • Anonymous

      No, reality is that the majority of women look for looks first then personality.

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  • LoloWaye
    I'm going to be honest. If I'm not attracted to someone the attraction won't develop over time as I get to know the person. I'll just see them as a friend. I feel bad about it, and I've dated someone who I wasn't attracted to, but the relationship was a complete fail. I wasn't able to form a connection with him because there was no physical attraction for me.
    • Anonymous

      Exactly my point. Thank You!

  • Nothanks700
    Why were you walking up to the girl in the coffee shop? Her looks. So, she really has the right to judge you on the same quality. Meeting a girl in a different context, such as work, may have different results, because you get to know her before expressing romantic interest. Looks are superficial, I think most people only care about them to the point that they have nothing else to qualify a person on.
    • Anonymous

      Both men and women look for looks. Also, if you meet a girl at work and you begin to express your romantic interest towards her she will put you in the friendzone if you don't meet her physical standards.

    • I don't think that's true. I mean, yes to a certain extent. But women are not usually that shallow. They are in high school, but so are guys. I'm 25, and women my age don't act like that anymore. And no, they aren't just looking for money either. I'd suggest developing a less cynical viewpoint on the world, and especially women, if you want to have a happy life.

    • Anonymous

      I have a happy life, but I'm telling other guys that women care for looks first and to stop believing this lie that women care about personality way more than looks.

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  • itsallover
    Stop. Speaking. On. Our. Behalf.

    We have our own voices, thank you very much.
    • SamPaige

      You still wouldn't date an ugly person

    • itsallover

      @SamPaige Well, obviously. That doesn't make me shallow or mean that I only care about looks.

    • SamPaige

      It doesn't make you shallow no. But all woman only care about looms and I'll always beleive that

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  • AleDeEurope
    Everyone goes for looks. I highly doubt you'll choose Susan Boyle over Megan Fox.
    But that doesn't mean looks is what matters the most... but it matters.
    Even if they're super awesome, if you're not physically attracted to them, you're not gonna date them... and it's perfectly normal to do so.

    Personality still matters, and a good one may give you extra points if you're not that good looking, but there still has to be some sort of physical attraction.

    You say you're unattractive, but yet you still dream of having a girl like "Kendall Jenner or Emily Ratajkowski", just like those unattractive girls dreaming of hot guys that you complain about. In the end, you're just like those you're whining about.
    • SamPaige

      I wouldn't choose Susan Boyle over Megan Fox but I would still choose women I know over Megan Fox

    • Anonymous

      Looks trumps personality. I'm not whining about anything women don't have to like me. It's all a part of science.

    • This ^^^

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  • fueledbythc
    I agree with you 100% on this one. I don't want to date because of this. I was ugly as a teenager and I still feel like that. Maturing into adulthood has been good for me especially the past year. More and more each day, I get women staring at me. And it's not because of my personality. I've even had my ass grabbed before on the bus. Girls and even women in their 30s and 40s get nervous or try to impress me. Girls are so nice to me now. It's all about looks.
    • Anonymous

      mhm exactly my point.

  • Unit1
    This is true for both genders. And yes, looks is commonly what matters the most when building a relationship.

    So if you want a quick girlfriend, then start to look and act like "alpha", get a look like Christian Grey/Brad Pitt, behave like Chad Thundercock and make money like Steve Jobs. I wouldn't advise this however.
    • Anonymous

      Yes, more common in women however.

  • mostwomenshouldstfu
    Thumb down your own article. Looks get their attention, personality is what reels them in, then the REAL work begins. Attraction->S*** test barrage->Love (real battelfield)

    You're welcome. Quit dwelling on your ugly mother f***ing face and better yourself. Women want men of action, not whiny s*** like this. Show of hands how many girls reading this are dryer than the Sahara right now. You seem to forget you judge them too.
    • Anonymous

      Uhh... You're statement proved my point. That looks are first then personality second. I'm not whining I'm just stating the truth.

    • Whining. It's preference, so quit b****ing. I went completely opposite of what you cried about. Once again, stfu better yourself. Your whole message is "I don't have balls, oh woe is me.". THAT'S your point. If they want to screen out in that order, that's their business, and it could blow up in their face. Just like YOU have every right to do the same. Again, you judge them too, so stfu.

    • Anonymous

      lol someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, this is also coming from a guy who is censoring his own cuss words... Anyway, my whole message is that looks comes before personality not this "I don't have balls" bullshit.

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  • nalaa
    I think it's amazing that men apparently need a long take to point out the obvious, that looks matter!
    I don't know who told you the lie that looks don't matter? I'm guessing years of watching porn? But most women will not tell you that looks don't matter at all. Like your last picture, that can't be what guys expect, right? That a hot girl will throw themsevles at them because he's nice?

    Looks matter, but that doesn't it's all that matters. People will normally tell you that look aren't all that matters and that's true.
    • Anonymous

      Lol why would years of watching porn tell me that looks don't matter? Everyone is getting paid to do what they do so in porn industry looks will never matter. Many people always say looks don't matter, mainly other women and dating coaches who lie and say that they don't matter at all when in fact its quite the opposite. I'm sorry that this take kind of points out the obvious, but it is to explain to other gagers who are either clueless or living and lala land that looks are first, personality is second.

  • LuisPenaNunez
    You are wrong man, girls/women work differently, you first have to make a emotional connection with them first, us guys are the one that get turned on just by a cute face, I have seen lot of attractive girls with fat, ugly guys kissing in the high school, why? I don't know but it must be it
    • Anonymous

      Those girls must be in the minority. I am talking about the majority of girls here

    • Everyone is different, asking for a girl number may work for one, but for others they probably don't like giving their numbers to stranger and will reject you, so before doing any move, you should analyze her and see how to flirt with her they way she reply, it's more like a game, and not so straightforward, but yes, for good looking men it can be easier, but not 100% easy.

  • Splintercell
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don't generalize, I used to don't. No not every woman is going to be attracted to you so what, your not attracted to every women. But be positive anyway, woman can read negativity in your attitude and body language. Simply complement them and if possible get to know them, if she still rejects you so what.
    • Anonymous

      Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but looks will trump personality in the end

  • OrdinaryGentleman
    Women are allowed to have their fantasies as well, it may be dumb and illogical but there are some girls who strive to change that. However, if all you have ever done is encounter American girls, assuming that is where you are from, i can guarantee 100% that girls from other countries have awesome personalities. There are some gals in the US with logic, wits and charm but it seems lost in a society that treasures sexualizing over exploring sexuality.
    Anyways good luck.
    • Anonymous

      Foreign girls (meaning girls outside of the US) are even more picky. Not only do they want looks, but they have to be of the same religion, personality, and sometimes even race. Where as girls in the US, they aren't as picky.

    • Not my experience m8. I enjoy foreign girls much more and if they are more picky? good, then i do not have to wade through thorns to make it count.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah they are pretty picky

  • alphadoggystyle
    You forgot about money and status, it would probably surprise you how many physically attractive women out there would be willing to date an ugly guy if he had lots of money and/or high status.
    • Anonymous

      I talked a little bit about it in my take. I didn't spend time on it because that is a whole other conversation in itself.

    • Well it seems like you kind of forget about it when you mentioned that unattractive men cannot get girls such as Kendall Jenner, when in fact a very physically unattractive, even ugly guy such as Tyga was able to get her due to being a high status/wealthy male.

    • Anonymous

      When I was talking about Kendall Jenner, I was just talking about hot girls in general, not really Kendall Jenner herself

  • uglyincel
    • Anonymous


  • skykidx1
    Wow no looks do matter but not 100% lots rate looks from 1-10 if a girl was a 10 and met a funny guy who was at least a 6 she would date him but she would never date a 3 or a 4... same with a guy. But for me its about who you are as a person and i won't date anyone under a 5 which is normal looking girl which my ex was a 5 but had a droo dead smile. . plus she was just so fucking cute the way she actedm
    • Anonymous

      Correct. Looks do matter a lot and the matter more than personality. Once you get the looks factor down then the personality will flow.

    • skykidx1

      Naaa if the girl was a 10 but had a shit personally i wouldn't date her at all. But looks more becuase of sex etc my new girlfriend a 7 but has a belly i rate girls by they face not body's

  • MusicLover8098
    Ah yes, middle school, where most relationships begin and where you get your first kiss
    'Sobs quietly in the corner with my zero relationships and kisses' 😰😔💔
    • Unit1

      That's cute. I'm 21 over here and still a virgin :P :(

    • I just want looooove man πŸ˜”

    • Unit1

      Me too, brother!

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  • Eevee2026
    I am going to be completely honest. When I date, personality is key and how I bond with them and their interests. But. In the back of my head there's that 1-10 tally system that I analyze evey guy with. For me I'm not interested in anyone lower than a 5/6 that's about as far down the numbers as I'll go. I don't purposely look for the hottest guy out there, personality is more important to me but they must fall with the 5-10 range because girls, honestly, you know you don't want to date someone who is ugly. For me I always feel bad about it, I like to give everyone a chance but I just wouldn't be attracted to them and their wouldn't be a "relationship". It's just not how our bodies were programmed. In reality it's science. We dont do it on purpose, we are suppose to look for the healthiest and fittest. And guys, you know its not just woman, plenty of guys out there won't date an ugly girl for the same reason.
    • Anonymous

      Yep. You've hit the nail on the head. Exactly what I have pointed out.

  • iFarted
    In high school you just need to be part of the cool kids group or be popular.

    In college you just need to go to parties or have 💰💰💰💸💸💸

    Or... Go socialize and build a network then you can use your awesome personality to charm some girl.

    Looks matter when it comes to cold approaches.
    • Anonymous

      And cold approaches are how you get women. You will never get a girlfriend unless you cold approach.

    • iFarted

      Negative.. A lot of people meet through friends, work, school, etc...

    • Anonymous

      And how do you meet these people from friends, work school, etc? You have to introduce yourself at some point, thus it is a cold approach.

  • FemaleAssassin
    After reading your article i was like "BULLSHIT HERE BULLSHIT THERE BULLSHIT EVERWHERE!" :O
    • Anonymous

      And why is that?

    • Dude u know that it's not intirely true, yes looks can be important to both genders no lie but i wouldn't really make a great fuss over it if he's sweet, kind, has a great peronality and many things in common with me, usually, many good looking guys can be such egotistic assholes anyways.

    • Anonymous

      But you have admitted that looks are important in both genders. Looks will get you in the door and personality will keep you inside.

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  • pavlove
    Give it up, brother. This site is not a space for "majority" view. This is the site of the underdog, the invisible man or woman. They don't want to hear what you're saying
    • Anonymous

      Exactly, so it is time to awaken the truth and stop this fairytale bullshit.

  • YourFutureEx
    It's SSsniperwolf & Emily Ratajkowski

    Looks attract them, personality keeps them. So, yeah. It all starts with looks.
  • Hollyxoxox
    I go for personality.. bonus if he's good looking. Who wants to be with someone who you don't get along with?
    • Anonymous

      If a guy you think is highly unattractive walks up to you would you let him talk?

    • Hollyxoxox

      to not talk to someone because of the way they look is a bit harsh, I would talk to anyone as long as their not a physco haha

    • Anonymous

      It's a bit harsh, but it's reality

  • MoreThanFriends
    It's not that women care more about looks than personality, it's just that your personality isn't that great but you think the reason girls are rejecting you is because of your looks.
    • Anonymous

      No, if you cold approach a girl and she turns you down right away that is because you are unattractive, not because of your personality.

    • How soon is "right away"? A girls attraction to a guy is mostly based on his personality, so if you asked a girl out right away and she turned you down, then you can't say she wasn't attracted to you when she doesn't even know your personality.

    • Anonymous

      Right away as in between the first 1-5 seconds of meeting her. If she turns you down then, as in ignores you, then she isn't into your looks.

  • Napoli
    ... and yet I read a Take/Question on this site not long ago saying that women are incapable of finding men physically attractive & that they only go for personality.

    Are you saying men AREN'T visual, and that you're incredibly offended by the mere thought?

    Thanks guys for telling women exactly what we do or don't want or find attractive and what goes on in our own minds... and that we're all made with cookie cutters and all want the same thing.

    Many guys on this site ( not all) always place the reasons for why they're single on everyone's shoulders but their own.
    Maybe it's your attitude that's the problem.
    • Anonymous

      I wonder what the other person's take was that said that women are incapable of finding men physically attractive because that person is seriously wrong. I'm talking about the majority of women here and the majority of women put looks over personality. Looks is what always kicks open the door and personality keeps you inside. It's my attitude? Why is it that women blame the man's attitude over his looks. If he's ugly just say he's ugly. No one is trying to bash you for it, but you know damn well that it isn't the guy's attitude that is at fault here it is his looks.

    • Napoli

      Ugly or good looking isn't an across the board thing. It's a matter of opinion.
      I've got to know guys who were good looking, but I just wasn't attracted to them, but I've become attracted to them later on after getting to know them... then they seem to get twice as good looking :)
      I've met guys who are total dicks, which kind of kills any initial physical attraction (do you find that with some girls? The girls you don't just want to sleep with?)

      I've smiled a hot guys in the street, why not? But I don't do it thinking I'd want to go home with him or date him, I don't know what he's like so I don't know if I'd want to. All I'm thinking is that he's good looking, and then he's gone and I've forgotten.
      Again, you do that right?

      I couldn't date someone who's personality I didn't know well. Someone's personality is what makes their looks for me.
      You can believe me or not, it's up to you.

    • Napoli

      I have guy friends who I'm not attracted to, but I like them on a platonic level. What's wrong with that?

      No one is required to be attracted to someone just because that person might be attracted to them. That's not how it works.

      We're all only human.

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  • ToruMatsuda
    Don't worry, right now you're only thinking like that cuz your young and only focus on the negative, soon you'll realize that there are more than one type of girl
    • Anonymous

      No the majority of girls go after looks first then personality second.

  • Psuedoscape
    I appreciate you took the time to write this entire thing out, but its a little far off of reality honestly. To bluntly say all girls care about is looks is actually really false the older you get. High school and college, sure that probably has some truth to it. However I can tell you with my experience that girls are not as shallow as you are making them out to be.

    Maybe I get where I do because girls like older guys, or I just know how to talk to them; I never really thought about it. However I have no issue talking to an attractive girl and having a conversation, she certainly won't ignore me. Taking it a step further I have no problem dating them either.

    Take 20 more years of talking to girls before you make this assumption I think would be fair to say, regardless of what kind of research you did.
    • Anonymous

      Well if you don't have a hard time finding girls yourself then you must understand that the girl thinks that you are physically attractive. She wouldn't be bothering with you if she didn't think you were attractive in the first place.

  • noModifierNeeded
    To say that men are physical and visual creatures but women are emotional and expressive is not untrue because we refer to innate biological drives.

    To intentionally mar the understandings of how one sex may be innately predisposed in one direction, and the other sex, in the other, by talking about all of this as binary relationships as oppose to issues of degree is purposefully convoluted.

    OF COURSE looks matter to both, of course personality matters to both. Guess what, men and women want LOVE in their relationship, men and women want SEX in their relationship, men and women enjoy DOING THING with one another, men and women appreciate CONVERSATION with one another, none of this proves or even suggests anything other than an inability to measure in degree and assess critically differences in biological predispositions. Think harder, learn more, be realistic please. Men ARE visual and physical creatures, women ARE emotional and expressive. Think otherwise? gl with life.
    • Also, one more thing. To ask women if an unattractive guy walks up to you and asks for your number would you give it to him? Is to ask men if you would start dating a girl with a dog ugly personality. Neither proves anything other than what is patently obvious to begin with. The fact is if a woman meets a guy and she thinks he's really hot, but he turns out to be incompatible with her personality, most women will be massively put off. The same cannot be said for men, I've known PLENTY of guys in the past stick it through (even if just for a while) with a hot girl whose personality did not jive with his at all. As for cheating.. sure it's 50/50 between the sexes but men and women cheat for different reasons. Women cheat to fill emotional voids (emotionally impulsive) generally, men cheat because they are horny buggars (physically impulsive) generally. Further observational truth.

    • Anonymous

      You're smart, I like that. I said in the beginning of my take that this could really go both ways, but girls are more visual because they must chose the best looking guy to give up her eggs to, it's all apart of evolution. The emotions come later and when they do come, then looks will still be on top. If a girl's boyfriend suddendly turned ugly most of them would break up with him. It's all apart of evolution, so to insult my education as to say "think harder, learn more, and be realistic please." is not necessary, but you can do whatever you want.

  • Guy83
    I don't think that they do. Men are more visually stimulated. Women are stimulated by touch, which can only be accomplished after laying down some kind of relationship.
    • Anonymous

      Women are more visually stimulated actually. Women get to chose who they want and who they don't want based off looks just as guys do the same.

    • Guy83

      No, scientifically there have been studies. Women are naturally stimulated by touch men by visual. That's why on dates girls always find a reason to make physical contact with you. Touching your arm or brushing up against you.

    • Anonymous

      But in order to get on that date and for her to touch you she needs to be physically attracted to you.

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