Why Women Actually Go for Looks Instead of Personality

Here you are. At a coffee shop looking at your dream girl. She's sitting down with a caramel frappe and looking at her laptop. You decide to get the guts to go and talk to her. You say to her "Hey! I saw you sitting here and I thought you were pretty cute so I came over to talk to you. My name is (insert name)" and she straight up ignores you. Chances are that it wasn't your personality at fault here; it was your looks.

Gentlemen, it is time to realize that women care about your looks more than your personality. We don't live in a fairy-tale land where you can get any girl you want with ogre looks and a great personality. Looks will always dominate personality and this applies for both genders too. I already know what the comments are going to be too. "Oh, he's such a beta male. More women for me!", "Might as well go gay" or "You have no clue what women older than you are like! You only know about girls who are your age." Let me get something clear, I am not here to bash women, just stating facts. I am 17 years old and I know of my experiences and others I have interviewed. Let's start off with how girls act over time.


Ah middle school, this is where relationships begin. These relationships are very shitty and only last about a week usually. This is because the couple has no clue of what they are doing. They think second base is holding hands. This is usually where all the experiments happen too, like kissing. Most people get their first kiss during their middle school career. Men and women base their relationships off of looks, or they date you because they feel bad. This was the case for me. I had three girlfriends in middle school and none of them actually liked me. They only did because they felt bad, it was only out of sympathy. Girls during middle school won't even talk to you if you are ugly. To sum everything up, looks are way way above personality.


As a senior in high school, i'd say that so far high school has been fun. I've had lots of memorable times with my friends and hopefully want to continue that, but the girls still act like, well, girls. They still think that looks are greater than personality, but now the relationships last longer. Relationships in high schools varies from a month to all four years of high school. Girls in high school are more "open". They like to do more stuff like sex for example. It feels as though getting a girlfriend is so easily accessible in high school, if you are attractive. Unattractive guys like me are left in the dust.

Girls still don't want to be associated with you if you are unattractive. I've never had a girlfriend through my high school career and still don't have my first kiss. Last year for prom, I had to bring my best friend's younger sister (who was a freshman at the time) to prom because my friends practically begged me to go to prom even though I didn't want to go. It wasn't even that fun because I kept seeing real couples together and how happy they were. This year I don't even plan to go to prom at all because I know that girls only care about looks.


Okay, so this is the point of the myTake where I had to get other men's experiences with women because I'm not in college yet. College is the place to find your potential soulmate. Girls and guys alike are out to find their potential mate; however, girls STILL only look for attractive guys. Personality is now playing a bit more of a dominate role, but looks is still on top. Now is the point in life where you must have looks, but now you need your personality to backup your looks. The reality is that a lot of guys who are in college are single because they are unattractive. It's kinda sad if you ask me.


This is the final point of the evolution. You are out of college and now in the real world. It's time to put your major to use and get a job, house, car, etc. Guess what women are like post college? Yep! They still look for only attractive guys. They keep doing this until they hit the "wall". Once they have hit the wall, their standards lower, thus unattractive guys have a slightly better chance of getting into a relationship. This is also the period in which status becomes a big factor. Some women will put status over everything, but this take isn't about gold diggers so they are irrelevant. The majority of women want a guy who is good looking.


Now, do you know the reason why girls are really only into good looking guys? Because that is what attracts them more, not personality. I know that personality plays a big part, but let's be real here, if an ogre-looking dude comes up to you to introduce himself and he has an amazing personality would you consider dating him! No! He must meet your physical standards in order for you to be attracted him. I know that you can say the same thing with guys but in reality, girls turn down guys more than guys turn down girls. Girls will always say "Well I can just say guys only want girls with big boobs.", but then once a guy, who doesn't meet her physical standards, approaches her she will turn him down and talk to her friends about how ugly he was. I'm not saying that women misogynistic or anything, but you simply can't say that when you go around and do the same thing. It's hypocritical. Girls can't help themselves as it is part of evolution.


There is the girl on YouTube called SSSsniperwolf. She's a very attractive girl gamer who makes Call of Duty gameplay and I really like her content, but she used to date this guy who goes by Sausage. Now, Sausage isn't the most handsome looking dude, but SSSsniperwolf still dated him and said that it was because of his personality, not necessarily his looks. That has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard and I don't believe it for one second. Ogre looking dudes don't get attractive girls unless they have something on the table that is HUGE like money, big house(s), nice car(s), etc... In the words of Kanye West, "Now I ain't sayin she a gold digger, but she ain't messin with no broke, broke......" That kinda sums up what I think about SSSsniperwolf, not hating her though I love her content, but something was up between them. So don't believe girls or dating coaches when they say "Personality is way over looks guys!" because it isn't. It isn't logical.


For the people who are going to say that I am bitter, I guess I am a little bit. I can't really blame girls though they can't help themselves, but it sucks when I get turned down because i'm "ugly". I've been called "handsome" by a few girls i'm cool with, older women, and even some guys (not out of homosexual content), but I never believe them. I've been rejected too many times to believe them. i don't think i'm handsome at all quite frankly. I also use to believe that "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" bullshit too.

To some extent, it's true, but it's mostly false. Good looking guys get good looking girls and unattractive guys get nothing. The unattractive girls are too busy chasing the attractive guys to be worried about the unattractive guys. To sum up everything, girls want looks over personality. Hate to break it to you, but we don't live in a world where we unattractive men can get Kendall Jenner or Emily Ratojkoski. Please feel free to leave feedback and i'll try to respond to as many comments as I can. Thanks for reading!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Men are so confused. They always want to claim that men are visual creatures, more so than women, and that that's why you're obsessed with looks. Yet you also want to make it seem like women care more about looks, despite men always labelling themselves as "visual". So which one fucking is it lol.
    You're quite selfish for thinking that if a woman ignores you, it MUST be because YOU don't look good enough. You don't know shit about her, she might be taken, or busy, or gay, or not interested in relationships. Don't jump to conclusions, that makes this mytake fake af.

    • Show All
    • If you're saying men are only attracted to women aged 17-23, yeah, that would be creepy. And whether you think it's creepy or not, it isn't true. Most men are attracted to a very broad range of things, it's actually women who almost universally agree on a few archetypes of men that they find attractive, and what's more, most women, if they were honest, would admit that they're more attracted to men based on how other women's perceptions of that man's status. Men don't care if a woman is attractive to other men or not. But for some reason, women are more attracted to men who are ALREADY in a relationship, already married, already rich, already successful. Most women would never think to build a life together with a man just starting out, they'd rather go have fun "playing the field" while they're young and attractive and then when their looks start fading, they try to settle down with a guy who's already successful. No wonder most successful men only date younger women.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You do realize that the majority of guys do the same exact thing, right? When I take girls out on dates, I must be both mentally and physically attracted to her. And by the way, I'm not the most attractive guy, but I date girls that are far beyond my "league." Must be something with your negative, victimized personality. Girls don't owe guys anything. They can date whoever they want and if they aren't attracted to you, then so be it!

    • I said in the beginning of my take that this really applies to both genders, but since i'm a guy I talked about how women want good looking guys over personality. Let me ask you something. Did those girls like you? Did they date you because they felt bad? Also, describe me girls who you think are out of your "league" because we could be talking about different girls here. Of course they don't owe me anything i'm just saying that you need to be attractive to be able to talk to a girl.

    • Show All
    • *act similarly

    • lol my friends are good looking (no homo) so they have no problem getting girls. Firstly, if I was those things you've listed, how can a girl tell I am those things from a far without talking to me? Exactly, they can't, so that wouldn't make sense. Secondly, I'm none of those things (except maybe boring). I am a bit bitter because of my harsh experiences but i'm just stating facts.

Join the discussion

What Girls Said 39

  • Short answer: If we're going to have sex I need to be somehow physically attracted to you.
    We want both looks and personality.

    • Looks>personality, but other than that you agree so thanks

    • Show All
    • @CHRIS11796 personality is just a bonus because think of it this way; if a girl had a choice between the two men, one with good looks but no personality or asshole and the other lets say... below average looks and short height but awesome personality. The good looking one with tall height will win, whereas the other would be rejected or friend zoned.

    • @Mrwoo99 ya i agree looks are the deciding factor not personality.

  • Of course looks matter. I don't know any man or woman who wants to date someone they aren't physically attracted to. Let's be real, EVERYONE cares about looks, at least to an extent. That being said, to claim that looks are the only thing that matters is completely false. Looks are only what causes initial attraction.

    Personality still matters to make a relationship last. If someone is attractive but has a shitty personality, I'm not going to be interested in any type of relationship with them. So in reality, looks AND personality both matter when it comes to forming a healthy, long-term relationship.

    • Yes, obviously you need your personality to backup your looks, but looks is what gets you in to get to know your personality.

    • Show All
    • @CHRIS11796 You're entitled to your opinion.

    • @xHoneyxBeex "Of course looks matter. I don't know any man or woman who wants to date someone they aren't physically attracted to."

      Yep, that bit is true in most cases and even if you try to do it otherwise it will end up in disastrously. I done it once and it ended up in brake up, they are better off with someone who finds them attractive.

  • 10|4
    • yeah... guys should just know their place and shut up about it... and those uppity BLM people should do so as well... right?

    • Show All
    • @akadatank44 πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜—πŸ‘Œ thank you!!! Tank

    • Oh well hi. And yeah the majority of them do. As in probably 90% of them.

  • I always laugh when guys ask or post takes about this, as if somehow, they made a huge revelation. Lol nope.

    It's human nature, WE ALL want someone who's attractive and that we like they're personality. Looks are the initial attraction, but personality keeps you with them. That doesn't mean looks matter more, it just means that's where it starts. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that because everyone should be happy with their partner.

    Are you telling me that if Rosie O'Donell or Honey Boo Boo's mom were to be super nice and caring, that you'd pick her over Scarlett Johansson or Mila Kunis? I highly doubt you or the majority of men would. And there's nothing wrong with that, it's human nature.
    So unless you'd give that "ogre looking" woman a shot, you're no better than the women you look down on. And no, "pity dates" don't count, to me that is even worse because you're giving them false hopes, and just trying to make yourself look better and "open minded". Knowing damn well you'll never want anything serious with them.


    • https://i.imgur.com/H3C3Ixu.jpg
      Here's the guy version. Everyone wants someone attractive and a good personality. This doesn't mean looks are more important.

    • Show All
    • If personality had much weight to people, then we would weigh personality with looks equally from the start. Like a test with 2 papers where one is looks and the other personality and you need to make a score total from each to get with you but most people do not do this and only care about the looks from the start in picking mates. Hence, why majority of relationships fail these days.

      People select looks, they barely know the person and become a couple. Realize their personality aren't compatible, problem ensues and they break up at best 5 years later. Rinse repeat until their much older into their 30's-40's.

    • @BubbleBoy69 this is going nowhere bye bye now

  • You haven't met me. πŸ˜›To me, personality is way more important than looks. You can look hot, but if your personality is shit, then that automatically negates a lot of points in your overall attractiveness to me.

    • But what if they guy was really unattractive? Would you still give him the time of day? Like Chico_brah said, looks kicks open the door then personality comes, not vise versa

    • Show All
    • i think with a girl like you, looks actually work against the guy. Thats because they probably incite insecurity in you. (not commenting on your looks but rather your self esteem based on previous posts.) I would be shocked if any of your guys have ever been extremely good looking or fit

    • @pavlove actually I have been with a few good looking guys. One of which was white and was sort of thin. Not muscular but he was tall and lanky.

  • "I love it when men think they know everything about women and decide to speak for all of us. Jesus take the wheel I get all tingly when they take control like that. " - said no woman ever.

    • I speak for the majority, yes.

    • Show All
    • @AnonRom that paragraph was unnecessary I didn't read past the first sentence. I post opinions not argue. That is what Reddit is for.

    • this guy has no clue

  • I think it's amazing that men apparently need a long take to point out the obvious, that looks matter!
    I don't know who told you the lie that looks don't matter? I'm guessing years of watching porn? But most women will not tell you that looks don't matter at all. Like your last picture, that can't be what guys expect, right? That a hot girl will throw themsevles at them because he's nice?

    Looks matter, but that doesn't it's all that matters. People will normally tell you that look aren't all that matters and that's true.

    • Lol why would years of watching porn tell me that looks don't matter? Everyone is getting paid to do what they do so in porn industry looks will never matter. Many people always say looks don't matter, mainly other women and dating coaches who lie and say that they don't matter at all when in fact its quite the opposite. I'm sorry that this take kind of points out the obvious, but it is to explain to other gagers who are either clueless or living and lala land that looks are first, personality is second.

  • "Hey! I saw you sitting here and I thought you were pretty cute so I came over to talk to you. My name is (insert name)" and she straight up ignores you."

    Or maybe it's because you sounded like a creep that's just trying to get laid by starting off with saying she's cute?

    Maybe she has a boyfriend or a fiance or recently separated and doesn't want to be bothered with you?

    Or maybe she just came to the freaking coffee shop so she could work in peace?

    NOPE! It just HAD to be ALL about how this goddess-like beauty didn't deem you looks worthy enough to stand in her presence! My gosh, what the hell is wrong with these visual obsessed females and their impossible to reach standards! The least she could've done is give this strange man off the street the time of day because he gave her the honor of a verbal compliment. To hell with the coffee and the laptop, lets spend 10 minutes chatting with a complete stranger whom she had absolutely no interest or time for.

    Male entitled theorist like you says we have to accept and associate ourselves with every guy who approaches us. As if it's our obligation to drop everything to give you a chance to score. I go to the grocery store to shop. I'm NOT trying to get picked up. I go to to coffee shop to concentrate and get my daily injection of caffeine , NOT TO GET PICKED UP. You make is sound like we have no choice but to give you the time of day no matter what our situation is, no matter what we're doing, no matter what thing that may take precedence over our lives, WE HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

    NO WE DON'T.

    Just like YOU DON'T have to give a girl you don't find attractive the time of day. That is your right just as much as it is ours. But you can keep groaning on about looks since there's certainly no other logical and rational real world explanation why women don't want to talk to you.

    • So what is the right way to approach?

    • @QuestionMan How is that a creepy approach? If you tell the girl that she is cute and you came up to say hi to her how is that creepy? That is more flattering than creepy. Secondly, if she did have a fiance or husband, she should of said "Hey, sorry but I got a (insert relationship status)". If she doesn't want to be bothered
      1.) Why would she go to a public coffee shop where anyone can talk to anyone
      2.) She could lie and say that she has a boyfriend
      3.) Tell the truth and say that she doesn't want to be bothered at the moment.
      I'm not entitled, women don't have to date me. Your statement also proves my point that looks comes before personality.

    • @QuestionMan Sorry I was talking to the opinion owner not you.

  • I am going to be completely honest. When I date, personality is key and how I bond with them and their interests. But. In the back of my head there's that 1-10 tally system that I analyze evey guy with. For me I'm not interested in anyone lower than a 5/6 that's about as far down the numbers as I'll go. I don't purposely look for the hottest guy out there, personality is more important to me but they must fall with the 5-10 range because girls, honestly, you know you don't want to date someone who is ugly. For me I always feel bad about it, I like to give everyone a chance but I just wouldn't be attracted to them and their wouldn't be a "relationship". It's just not how our bodies were programmed. In reality it's science. We dont do it on purpose, we are suppose to look for the healthiest and fittest. And guys, you know its not just woman, plenty of guys out there won't date an ugly girl for the same reason.

    • Yep. You've hit the nail on the head. Exactly what I have pointed out.

  • When you guys approach women, do you think about her personality? Well, probably not, because you do not know her yet... you will most likely choose to approach a girl you think is attractive. You think that is your dreamgirl! But whaat? She doesn't want you to approach her? What is wrong with her? She is just so shallow she turns you down just knowing your looks?
    I'll just leave it here for you to think about it.

    • Hmmm... If she doesn't want you to approach her that means she isn't into your looks. It can't be because she isn't into your personality because she doesn't know you, it can't be because she has a boyfriend because if that was the case she wouldn't care if you did or not she would just tell you that she has a boyfriend, and it isn't that she doesn't want to be bothered because everyone likes compliments and if you go up to her and flirt with her (complimenting her and such), then she will blush and giggle because everyone likes compliments.

    • Not exactly like that, why do you think she is interested in any men at all? Also even if a girl says she has a boyfriend guys often try to continue the convo.
      But this wasn't really the point. The point is that men and women aren't too different, just think abut it.
      And to add here, an important point you are missing: for example if I turn a guy down it is most likely because he has behaved like a total ass. Not really much to do with his face. But ofc I would not be very trilled to date a guy I am not at all attracted to either, it wouldn't be fair for the guy either. It is just the way things work on this planet earth of ours.

  • *sigh* Another guy that thinks he knows what he's talking about when it comes to women.

    • The majority, yes.

    • Show All
    • How?

    • There are too many of them here lol. Then you have guys like me who actually know a thing or too but is too lazy to write takes xD

  • I'm not super PC but maybe it could be because you are straight up objectifying her.. she's your dream girl? Why? The bitch didn't even speak to you? Her looks.

    And you seem to think liking sometimes entitles you to it.. no sir. She doesn't have to respond. You're not her type and if it's because your looks.. well you're no less shallow then she is so quit being a sanctimonious prick.

    • *something

    • Never have I said that I am entitled to any woman. I'm simply stating that this is true and by your comment you have only confirmed my take so thanks.

    • Yeah! You just confirmed the OP's argument xD

  • Lmao 1) you need to find the person you're dating attractive. Notice I said YOU, not everyone. A guy doesn't have to be the hottest guy ever, as long as he's attractive to me

    2) yeah looks are important for approaching and the initial stages of dating, but I wouldn't stay with a guy if I didn't mentally connect with him. That would lead to a very boring life.

    • Funny enough, the person who wrote this didn't mention anything about wealth, or money. I guess Hugh Hefner gets all of those girls by his looks!

    • Show All
    • @EnglishArtsteacher because they are more attractive and it's not as common as you think. I don't see a majority of women of all ages going after money, they go for stability.

    • Actually I kind of agree with Puppylove94 here... Gold diggers are more common with girls who are outside college because that is when the men can make money. For the most part, everyone is equally broke in college, so there would be no reason to gold dig if there is no gold to dig.

  • ... and yet I read a Take/Question on this site not long ago saying that women are incapable of finding men physically attractive & that they only go for personality.

    Are you saying men AREN'T visual, and that you're incredibly offended by the mere thought?

    Thanks guys for telling women exactly what we do or don't want or find attractive and what goes on in our own minds... and that we're all made with cookie cutters and all want the same thing.

    Many guys on this site ( not all) always place the reasons for why they're single on everyone's shoulders but their own.
    Maybe it's your attitude that's the problem.

    • I wonder what the other person's take was that said that women are incapable of finding men physically attractive because that person is seriously wrong. I'm talking about the majority of women here and the majority of women put looks over personality. Looks is what always kicks open the door and personality keeps you inside. It's my attitude? Why is it that women blame the man's attitude over his looks. If he's ugly just say he's ugly. No one is trying to bash you for it, but you know damn well that it isn't the guy's attitude that is at fault here it is his looks.

    • Show All
    • I have guy friends who I'm not attracted to, but I like them on a platonic level. What's wrong with that?

      No one is required to be attracted to someone just because that person might be attracted to them. That's not how it works.

      We're all only human.

    • You're somewhat right, ugly and good looking is a matter of opinion, but the majority of girls want a guy who looks good first, then the personality comes second. Obviously if you don't have the personality to backup your looks then you're screwed, but looks are what matters first.

  • We all know that physical attraction plays an important part in relationships but so does personality and compatibility. If i just wanted sex, then i would base it on looks alone. But since im not a ONS type of woman, there's got to be a good balance between those 3 aspects before I would even consider getting into a relationship with someone. If your looking for something serious, don't just base it on looks alone, that's how it all ends in tears. Oh, and please don't go with someone your not really physically attracted to just because they've got a wonderful personality, because you'll end up wanting to leave them when someone more attractive comes along. Is it worth lying to that person just to break their heart eventually?

    • Physical attraction comes first, then personality comes in second. Physical attraction always tops personality.

    • Show All
    • Exactly my point

  • Why are people so pathetic on the internet?

    Seriously. You're the one who thinks you're ugly and because of your personal experiences with middle school and high school children you think the world is dark and bleak. Please stop your self pity.

    • The world is dark and bleak, you must be looking through rose covered glasses. You wouldn't understand if you are attractive. Also, I've stated in the beginning of the take that these are based of my experiences AND OTHER MEN'S EXPERIENCES.

    • Show All
    • And no one is going to awake to the fact that the majority of girls want looks first then personality.

    • Yup, because that's what the billions of women on the planet you've never met are like.

  • Oooh my god you're so ignorant! Don't speak for all women okay?

    • You're right. I'm sorry I should of clarified. The majority of women do this. As in probably 90%

    • Show All
    • @diegoD Anyone that calls "troll" is inherently trolling.

    • @diegoD Well then there ya go. It's because you are good looking.

  • Ohh poor baby, women only going for men they find attractive, how horrible. We all know how men won't mind dating the "ugly girl" because it's what inside that counts.

    You're being very close minded here, of course if you only consider attractive women then yes they are going to be more likely to only date attractive men, because they can.

    • I'm not complaining about it i'm just stating that this is what happens. In the beginning of the take, I stated that this can go both ways, however (I should of probably made this more clear) women tend to do it more. Men are more open about calling people ugly so you here about those cases more often, but in fact women do it more and are a lot more sneaky with it.

    • Show All
    • @CHRIS11796 Point proved.

    • Ya but people make it seem like you have to be goodlooking to be attractive to one individual.

  • Despite gender, we as people are naturally attracted to attractive things and people. Just as we like glitter and neon. But, we don't "go for looks instead of personality". They are just two factors we ALL look for in people; neither is more 'significant' than the other and I don't like how you've made women sound like we're heartless people who only care about visuals. Men are way more visual anyway.

    • Looks is more important that personality in BOTH genders. Personality plays a big role, but you must have the looks in order for her to see your personality. Men tend to be more open about unattractive women, however women tend to do it more. They keep it on the DL about it. Kind of interesting if you ask me.

    • Seeing that's you're only a teenager, believe me when I tell you that things will not be like that when you're older. Don't worry.

    • You contradict yourself by the way. The reason that men are more open about looks is because we are more physically impulsive, not because looks are less important to us, to be clear, we give into our physical drives more easily than women. That does not support the idea that looks are more important to women. Conversely, women will much more likely follow through with a guy if she relates to him on a personal level meaning 'looks' play a much lesser role on whether she stick it out with him or not, that's not true of men.

  • I really do look for personality. I haven't truly had my first kiss yet. My boyfriend is super special. He has a perfect personality, but I'll admit may not have the perfect looks (well, to me he does) but that doesn't matter. I may be the rarest girl ever but I think personality is better than looks.
    As for the sympathy dating, that's crazy. I would never ever do that. Not even when I was in middle school. It's just mean and hurts the person. One of my best friends has told me, I'm the only girl that pays attention to him. I don't see why tho. He's hot lol. But still. He had the sympathy girlfriend thing and all it did was hurt him.

    I'm gonna flat out say this because I know first hand too. Girls can be very mean and bitchy.
    Thankfully I have been told I'm nothing like that. ☺️

    • Then you must be in the minority

    • Show All
    • interesting response. well I was agreeing with you not him, yes I have realised that in 29 years thank you very much. I'm saying you are not in the minority (that's what majority means).

    • @noModifierNeeded
      Sorry. Some people like to argue with me. I thought you were telling me I only want guys for looks.

  • More from Girls

What Guys Said 56

  • Everyone goes for looks. I highly doubt you'll choose Susan Boyle over Megan Fox.
    But that doesn't mean looks is what matters the most... but it matters.
    Even if they're super awesome, if you're not physically attracted to them, you're not gonna date them... and it's perfectly normal to do so.

    Personality still matters, and a good one may give you extra points if you're not that good looking, but there still has to be some sort of physical attraction.

    You say you're unattractive, but yet you still dream of having a girl like "Kendall Jenner or Emily Ratajkowski", just like those unattractive girls dreaming of hot guys that you complain about. In the end, you're just like those you're whining about.

    • I wouldn't choose Susan Boyle over Megan Fox but I would still choose women I know over Megan Fox

    • Show All
    • No. Try being a hot guy with a disgusting personality, and see how you end up alone. You'll get lots of attention, cause looks is what people know at first, but once they get to know you better, they'll dump you.

    • Exactly my point. If you don't have the personality to backup your looks then you're screwed, but looks are what kicks open the door and keeps it open.

  • It's obvious that if you are batshit ugly you will have a severe disadvantage in life. Let's talk about the general population for a minute here though.

    Looks will get you in the door, personality is everything else. You only have to be a 5/10 to a girl to get your foot in the door. After that it's all about selling yourself. Women dig that rugged confidence that a lot of men carry.

    They want a man that is sure of himself, not an insecure boy who determines his self worth by his looks. If that guy is unsure of himself how can they make a woman feel secure within herself.

    I'm probabaly considered average, above average to some women facially. I have taken a lot hits to my face and have scar tissue under my eyes, my nose is deviated, my jaw has been hit so hard that it's actually off it's tracks so to speak. No girls are telling me I'm absolutely gorgeous. No girls are telling me I'm pretty despite my blue eyes baha.

    Bro I have absolutely no issues attracting women. I'm a bodybuilder and have a great physique. I work my ass at university. I can make literally anybody laugh. I can charm. I'm confident within myself and it shows through the way I carry myself and how I communicate. Women pick up on that really well.

    As man your value is not dictated by your looks. Women are judged on their looks more so than men.

    I think even women worry about that too much sometimes. Having a trophy gym bunny girlfriend has its perks. It shows some status to your friends and you'll get respect from a lot of other local bros. It can be an ego boost. The younger girls that are top tier are usually entitled as fuck, there are a lot of them that are also extremely insecure because their whole self value by others is based on their looks, so they have to upkeep a certain image. After a month those rose colored lenses wear off and you see the person for who they are. If they are entitled and annoying as fuck then where is the fun in that? Been there done that. jpg I MUCH rather have a girl that continuously turns me on with every word that they say.

    I see a lot of guys that are OBSESSED with their looks in bodybuilding. I see this A LOT, and I just laugh because they are acting like fucking insecure women. Yes bodybuilding is about beauty in the body but I see these guys talking about facial routines and designer clothing shit all the time lol. Women aren't attracted to that cringe mindset.

    • If you are consistent with your theory, then why wasn't Elliot Rodgers a complete stud with the ladies?

      Pretty decent looking dude right? He had a shit load of money and drove a BMW to his college. Women wouldn't even look in his direction because he was insecure as fuck and carried himself like a social autist. They were repulsed by him because of THAT, not his looks. The dude was so frustrated that he randomly shot up a bunch of people at his university.

    • Show All
    • how are you so sure about the insecurity part?

    • Lol at you men thinking Elliot Rodgers is good looking. Just lol at delusion. This is a good looking man. Elliot is a 4/10.


  • I agree the looks matter more because looks can actually somewhat stand on their own, while personality can't.

    I believe a person who looks great but has a mediocre personality will have a much easier time getting sex and relationships compared to a person who looks mediocre but has a great personality.

    So looks play more of a role in how how successful you will be with the opposite sex than personality does. Looks are more likely to be the limiting factor, and not personality.

    I would also say that women typically have higher standards on looks for casual sex than men do. However, men typically have higher standards on looks for relationships than women do. Bassically, the lower the level of commitment and investment from the guy, the higher womens standards will be on sexual attraction, while for men their standards on sexual attraction often go down for girls they are not comitting or investing in. Then for relationships, women still want a guy who meets a baseline level of attractiveness but they aren't as picky about looks as they were for casual sex. However, the guy has to be more intelligent and have more earning potential.

    So Women are more likely to have casuaul sex with men who are more attractive than they are, while men are more likely to get into relationships with women who are more attractive than they are (but usually only if the guy is smarter or makes at least slightly more than she does).

    • Exactly my point

  • I just hate it when women go for hot guys that don't give a shit about them, or he act interested one moment and cold the next. My manager cries at work cause her boyfriend won't treat her right. She tells us this but her reasons for staying with him cause he was hot. I encountered plenty of women and this goes to the ones I encountered not all women. That does this. On the other hand I'm not going to attracted to a girl who's not that good looking. But hey look at BeyoncΓ© and jay z. Anyway, everyone has there preferences and you can only accept it.

  • I appreciate you took the time to write this entire thing out, but its a little far off of reality honestly. To bluntly say all girls care about is looks is actually really false the older you get. High school and college, sure that probably has some truth to it. However I can tell you with my experience that girls are not as shallow as you are making them out to be.

    Maybe I get where I do because girls like older guys, or I just know how to talk to them; I never really thought about it. However I have no issue talking to an attractive girl and having a conversation, she certainly won't ignore me. Taking it a step further I have no problem dating them either.

    Take 20 more years of talking to girls before you make this assumption I think would be fair to say, regardless of what kind of research you did.

    • Well if you don't have a hard time finding girls yourself then you must understand that the girl thinks that you are physically attractive. She wouldn't be bothering with you if she didn't think you were attractive in the first place.

  • As a guy, looks get you in the door, personality keeps you in... BUT, because of the halo effect the better your looks the more you can get away with a shitty or mediocre personality, even when the girl actually believes she likes guys for their personalities. If you only have looks you can still get casual sex, if you only have personality you get nothing.

    As a girl it's the same, except you can still get casual sex if you're not attractive (as long as you're not morbidly obese and/or butt ugly).

    I agree with the Asker that it's simply annoying that girls just won't be upfront about this, though I think that often they really do believe their own BS about the importance of a genuine good personality.

    Personally I see this too: occasionally I notice a girl is really into me and until now it's always been the case she likes me within 5 seconds after meeting me and it feels like it doesn't matter one bit what I do or say after that, but they still claim to like my personality. Whenever a girl isn't into me within those 5 seconds I could be the second coming of Shakespeare with everyone else in the room hanging on my lips but she still won't give a f*ck.

    One time I fell in love, over time, with a girl's personality even though initially I found her just "meh" visually, not ugly, but meh, (she had been into me from the first 5 seconds and had pursued me), but I've never had a girl do that with me and sometimes I wonder if it ever really happens or whether all girls just simply rationalize their initial butterflies with talk of "personality" and "mental compatibility" and most girls who claim to be into "deep conversations" and stuff like that really aren't, or have ridiculously low standards for it (especially if the guy's hot).

    • yep. and the reason she's into in 5 seconds is because of your looks. One cannot tell one's personality in 5 seconds.

  • Do girls care about looks? Yes
    Do you have to match THEIR physical standards? Yes
    Are those standards universal? No

    You'll cringe so hard in 5 years if you read this again, but for the moment, let's say you're correct - what are you going to do about your situation? So coffee shop girl turns you down, just go find an ugly girl to tap.

    • Standards are not universal, but the looks>personality thing is. If you don't meet their physical standards, then you're out of luck. The only thing you can do about the situation is to try it on more girls, because as you said, standards aren't universal.

  • It's SSsniperwolf & Emily Ratajkowski

    Looks attract them, personality keeps them. So, yeah. It all starts with looks.

  • Personality > Looks IF that personality includes passion, fun, care free, confidence and drive lol. Even if a guy isn't all that good looking he'll do pretty well for himself if he has those traits. Now if we're talking about personality as in he's just a nice guy, then no his "personality" won't be enough lol. There are tons of threads about that. You can't nice your way into a girls bed. But you can attract girls by both accepting who you are, being yourself and unapologetic about it. Plenty of girls find guys attractive that simply know who they are. He's not putting on a front. That'll win over a guy that just has his looks 95% of the time.

    • Looks are what kicks open the door. If you don't have the looks to back up your personality than you are screwed.

  • So from things in my life that I've personlly learned or from friends:
    Attraction can grow over time with women mkre so with men. But this isn't ever woman on eart. It may be a few more but some can say omfg he was so ugly and not my type to one day they are in love. It happens. I don't know how often but it does happen
    But I've also leaned that that initial first attraction is important and the male has to be relatively attractive. Does he need 6 pack abs and look like Arnold in his prime? No. He could have a God like face or smile or whatever. Thats first and for most and the personality is very important. If he has no personality it won't last at all. So both need to be there.

    • but looks need to be more present than personality. Personality is for the later down the road, the initial stages of dating are based off of looks.

    • "Attraction can grow over time with women mkre so with men. But this isn't ever woman on eart. It may be a few more but some can say omfg he was so ugly and not my type to one day they are in love. It happens. I don't know how often but it does happen"

      Alpha fux/beta bux. They finally give you the chance to be a beta provider for them after Chad, Jamal, Tyrone have used them as a cum rag.

    • @BubbleBoy69 You got a point

  • To say that men are physical and visual creatures but women are emotional and expressive is not untrue because we refer to innate biological drives.

    To intentionally mar the understandings of how one sex may be innately predisposed in one direction, and the other sex, in the other, by talking about all of this as binary relationships as oppose to issues of degree is purposefully convoluted.

    OF COURSE looks matter to both, of course personality matters to both. Guess what, men and women want LOVE in their relationship, men and women want SEX in their relationship, men and women enjoy DOING THING with one another, men and women appreciate CONVERSATION with one another, none of this proves or even suggests anything other than an inability to measure in degree and assess critically differences in biological predispositions. Think harder, learn more, be realistic please. Men ARE visual and physical creatures, women ARE emotional and expressive. Think otherwise? gl with life.

    • Also, one more thing. To ask women if an unattractive guy walks up to you and asks for your number would you give it to him? Is to ask men if you would start dating a girl with a dog ugly personality. Neither proves anything other than what is patently obvious to begin with. The fact is if a woman meets a guy and she thinks he's really hot, but he turns out to be incompatible with her personality, most women will be massively put off. The same cannot be said for men, I've known PLENTY of guys in the past stick it through (even if just for a while) with a hot girl whose personality did not jive with his at all. As for cheating.. sure it's 50/50 between the sexes but men and women cheat for different reasons. Women cheat to fill emotional voids (emotionally impulsive) generally, men cheat because they are horny buggars (physically impulsive) generally. Further observational truth.

    • You're smart, I like that. I said in the beginning of my take that this could really go both ways, but girls are more visual because they must chose the best looking guy to give up her eggs to, it's all apart of evolution. The emotions come later and when they do come, then looks will still be on top. If a girl's boyfriend suddendly turned ugly most of them would break up with him. It's all apart of evolution, so to insult my education as to say "think harder, learn more, and be realistic please." is not necessary, but you can do whatever you want.

  • I can't believe that looks vs personality debate came that far and is even discus-sable like it's really some dilemma, while it clearly isn't. If you really have to ask such question, just gather some attractive guys, ask them how many girls they've fucked, compare this number to average joe's and you'll get the black and white correlation. Looks > Personality. Is it that hard? Or check out which guys are women stalking, harassing, begging for sex and sending walls of stupid and delusional texts and you'll see that in all cases it's about exceptionally attractive looking guys and in most cases, they're dickheads because they can afford being that. Looks > Personality.

    And one more little secret: the perception of personality is heavily based on ones looks, which means that if you're good looking, you'll be perceived with positive personality traits, and if you're not, you'll be seen with negative personality traits. How do women call an unattractive guy who doesn't speak much? A creep. How do women call an attractive guy who doesn't speak much? That's right, a mysterious guy.

    But at the end of the day, even if one has clearly negative personality traits and but is good looking enough, women will go with good looks any time. Just think of this pattern: lots of girls reject hundreds of guys and pullout of dozens dates in order to find a right one whom they'll lose virginity with. They say they're waiting for mr right who has this and that personality trait. But at the end they fuck some random stud in matters of hours. Conclusion? Just be hot (attractive looking) enough since looks > personality.

    source: statistical analytics big data expert, human psychology expert, evolutionary psychology expert, biology expert, from attractive guy to average joe aging expert, knowing women expert , what women say is not what women think is not what women do expert

    • You've hit the nail on the head. This take is pretty basic in concept, but some guys and girls just don't understand the reality of it.

  • ignore the people who try the tired lie about lack of confidence being the downfall of ugly men... I assure you that any poor ugly smuck who walked up to a gal full of confidence will get laughed at... and made to be the bad guy if he doesn't like her laughing in his face.

    And you need look no further to see the looks over personality issue that to check out the date rape cases... the VAST majority of the guys who did that were OBVIOUSLY scumbags... but the women didn't take the 5 minutes to get to know him before deciding that cute guys are always good until proven otherwise.

    • Exactly!

    • Show All
    • @diegoD No, he's saying that the nice guy becomes the "bad guy" meaning he becomes hated.

    • With decent appearance comes the implication of charm, confidence, and honorability. However, people that have always coasted on their looks eventually hit the wall at which they can no longer get away with murder but they could probably get away with rape or negligent manslaughter... You want proof? Here's a very brief link covering a story of a guy who was sentenced to death with absolutely NO evidence of involvement in a murder that he reported to the police. He just dressed weird and was a generally creepy dude. There was a the part 6 hour documentary series about him spanning the 15 years he was in prison.

      You want more proof, do some research.

  • Women are allowed to have their fantasies as well, it may be dumb and illogical but there are some girls who strive to change that. However, if all you have ever done is encounter American girls, assuming that is where you are from, i can guarantee 100% that girls from other countries have awesome personalities. There are some gals in the US with logic, wits and charm but it seems lost in a society that treasures sexualizing over exploring sexuality.
    Anyways good luck.

    • Foreign girls (meaning girls outside of the US) are even more picky. Not only do they want looks, but they have to be of the same religion, personality, and sometimes even race. Where as girls in the US, they aren't as picky.

    • Not my experience m8. I enjoy foreign girls much more and if they are more picky? good, then i do not have to wade through thorns to make it count.

    • Yeah they are pretty picky

  • Women want the whole package out of a guy in their youth which gives them unrealistic standards. Personality does matter to women but alone won't get you a girlfriend... only friendzone. At best a woman wants a guy with model looks with tall height, status, money and awesome personality. You could have 2 of those traits with no character or even bad personality and still get a nice girlfriend.

    I don't have looks or height and only have a funny personality and charismatic persona but its still dont get me beautiful women. Reasons why I'm chasing money and status because there's nothing else I can do to change my genetics. You guys should do the same if you don't have good looks or height.

    • Personality is a bonus while looks is what matters.

    • Yeah true but like I said you can always chase money and status. An just buy whores instead. What does it matter if she wants you for your money? Love between a man and a women is always conditional, even for goodlooking men becuase if they lose their looks women wouldn't want them anymore the same way if you went from been rich to poor again. Know what am saying?

    • Yeah I see what your saying. It makes sense

  • We have a troll.

  • We all go for looks first and then personality

    • Looks are 90%, personality 10%

  • Why were you walking up to the girl in the coffee shop? Her looks. So, she really has the right to judge you on the same quality. Meeting a girl in a different context, such as work, may have different results, because you get to know her before expressing romantic interest. Looks are superficial, I think most people only care about them to the point that they have nothing else to qualify a person on.

    • Both men and women look for looks. Also, if you meet a girl at work and you begin to express your romantic interest towards her she will put you in the friendzone if you don't meet her physical standards.

    • Show All
    • I have a happy life, but I'm telling other guys that women care for looks first and to stop believing this lie that women care about personality way more than looks.

    • And I'm saying that's not true. Most of them, my age anyway, care far more about personality.

  • I wish women went for looks. You seem to have encountered the opposite women of what I've encountered. Most women I've encountered only care more about personality. I'm glad there are women that care about looks.

    • What kind of lala land are you living in?

    • Show All
    • It's no typo, I actually mean ogre looking guys.

    • hmm.. possibly

  • Thumb down your own article. Looks get their attention, personality is what reels them in, then the REAL work begins. Attraction->S*** test barrage->Love (real battelfield)

    You're welcome. Quit dwelling on your ugly mother f***ing face and better yourself. Women want men of action, not whiny s*** like this. Show of hands how many girls reading this are dryer than the Sahara right now. You seem to forget you judge them too.

    • Uhh... You're statement proved my point. That looks are first then personality second. I'm not whining I'm just stating the truth.

    • Show All
    • Boy, stick to whining about apps and playing video games your mom bought you. That's your job right now. Those girls you are complaining about are ahead of you developmentally. Take your first step to becoming a man and focus on bettering yourself. Shut your trap and take notes, yoi'll be better off.

    • username lol

  • More from Guys