We all have experienced rejection at some point in our lives. Maybe you auditioned for a lead role in your high school musical but ended up being the background dancer , applied for your dream job and didn't even get picked for an interview, or finally mustered up enough courage to ask out the girl/boy of your dream but they weren't interested.
Yes, rejection can be very lethal to our self-esteem and it can definitely put a dent in our ego.But we must not let the fear of rejection cripple us from pursuing what we want in our lives. These situations should make us stronger, more resilient and tougher. We should always love ourselves unconditionally. Accept ourselves exactly as we are. Wallowing in self-pity or feeling defeated wouldn't get us anywhere in this big bad world.
But if you have ever been on the other side of the fence where you had to utter the soul-crushing word "No" to someone, you know how hard it can be when even you're in the position of power. Maybe you're unable to reciprocate the romantic feelings, someone has for you. In that situation, you have to be clever enough to walk a fine line between honest and harsh.
Remember, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to be open and vulnerable in front of someone. Maybe the person's
fear of rejection has crept in, the anticipation is killing them but they are still anxiously hoping for a resounding "Yes". He/she may not be the person for you and that's okay. You have control over who you want to date or not date. They should also be gracious enough to accept "No" for an answer and not turn vindictive or bitter toward you after a painful rejection.
I've blabbered long enough, let me list all the simple, easy to follow steps to reject someone. I can guarantee, they will not even regret their decision to ask despite being rejected .
Tell him you truly appreciate his kind words
Tell him he made you feel good about yourself. He has made you feel special. Say something along the lines of " You're too kind but you've definitely made my day" or say joking "Stop complimenting me, I may fool myself into believing they are true."
Highlight his good qualities
He shouldn't devalue himself for not being your type. There are plenty of fish in the ocean and maybe the girl of his dream is out there although it may not be you. Tell the brave man how brave he actually is for being completely honest with you.
Adopt a self-deprecating sense of humor
Joking warn the guy by saying "Oh Jhon, you don't want to be with me. Now, you're saying all these nice things about me but you will be in for a rude awakening"
Tell him you are busy ( white lies are okay)
He will still be intelligent enough to translate that means you're not interested. But remember, beautiful lies are better than painful truths.
i don't like being built up while rejected. its either confusing or patronizing or both. i really just like a direct answer so i can be clear about things and move on.
when someone starts going into how great you are you stand there feeling the 'but' coming and it sucks. plus i know my good qualities better than someone who has never even darted me. and i don't need permission to ask or to be told i shouldn't feel bad.
i think people need to learn how to be direct not ice. bc many of them think the short cut to nice is ignoring, and it all goes to hell.
i think being upfront and respectful is the bet way to go. long rejections kind of suck. and no one likes feeling 'handled'.
You shouldn't assume that. A lot of guys are dense and might actually think your busy.
For example - Suppose the girl i'm dealing with is a medical student. Her being busy might actual be a legit thing I'd take into consideration as being true.
You are absolutely right!!! The girl might actually have a pretty tight schedule. But if she genuinely likes a guy, she can never be too busy. I know girls who are training for Olympics or full-time university students with two part-time jobs still making it work!!! If she is too busy for you it simply means she doesn't like you enough to make it work.
I believe that honesty is the best approach. Now this does not mean you need to be cruel, just honest. I dated a girl briefly when I was in high school, and she was very attracted to me and really seemed to like me, and in all fairness I was initially attracted to the attraction, however I was making plans to go into the service so I knew I was going to be leaving, secondly I didn't want to be the guy who has sex with her (using her) and then leaves, as this is not what I would want done to me. So while it is true we did go on a few dates, and even kissed a few times, we never had sex. I did break up with her, and I was honest in the sense that I was not physically attracted to her, I was not mean about it, just honest, I did try to be friends with her after the fact, but that didn't seem to last for very long. I did hurt her feelings some (not what I wanted). I could take some comfort in the fact that I didn't use her, was honest with her and did my best to comfort her when she was upset. I would like to think this is not a terrible sort of thing.
I was not rejected in nice ways, ever. Perhaps it was the culture in rural Australia, at the time. Any conversation that did not involve the girl saying "fuck off" or "fuck off, you freak" was counted as a success. In the end, I gave up. I applied the first and second principles of military tactics: fight only the battles that you can win; and do not reinforce defeat. Now I am the one who does the rejecting, mainly by pretending to not notice the displays of interest by various females for whom I would have been 'not fun enough', or 'too nice' when they and I were 20. Strange how there is a power reversal in gender relations after the age of 30 to 35.
@Mrwoo99 What I mean by a power reversal is that when women are young they have high sexual market value. They hold all the cards and they know it. That is why so many are obnoxious bitches. Between the ages of 30 to 35 (typically) they hit the wall, which means that their youthful beauty begins to fade. The bad boys who caused their crotches to tingle when they were 20 stop paying attention to them and men in general take less of an interest in them. About the same time, most men begin to think with the larger of their two heads. That is the age at which most who go MGTOW take that decision. Women who had a wonderful time being cum dumpsters for bad boys during their teens and 20s find themselves alone, with few prospects and, if they are really unlucky, have one or more Mini Me versions of one or more of the bad boys snapping at their ankles. These are the women who grab hold of the 'life begins at 40' delusion when someone puts it forward. continued. . .
@Mrwoo99 continued. . . part 2 During my work in the media, I came to know many different people. Two such people were the owners of old-fashioned introduction agencies. These were the good ones, which had offices and required potential clients to attend for interviews. Both of these agency owners told me this same thing. They said that between the ages of 18 to 35 they had five males to every female on their books. At age 35 that began to change and by age 40 they had five females to every male. It was not that the males had died, or been abducted by aliens. What happened was that the men had simply had a gutful of the mind games and other bullshit that is involved in dealing with women. The men also became aware of how the Family Law Act and the Family Court (that is what they are called, here in Australia) were biased in favour of women to a degree that was grotesque. The men did a cost/risk/benefit analysis and decided to walk away. continued. . .
@Mrwoo99 continued. . . part 3 The net result was that there were roughly five times more single women who were 'looking' than there were single men who were 'looking' in the age range of 35 and older. By the simple economics of supply and demand, this caused a power reversal. Women are forced into the position in which they have to make the first move, if they see a man who takes their fancy. For those who are not inclined to make the first move, they make displays of interest that escalate until the male responds. I find it darkly amusing how women expect men to 'man up' and shrug off hundreds of rejections from often bitchy women, but when it comes time for a woman to make the approach she cannot find the courage to 'woman up'. I have practised the art of pretending to not notice these displays of interest. This leaves women exasperated and wondering why I am not responding. This applies especially to women who were the hot babe types during their youth.
You are man of knowledge, wisdom and enlightenment. How come you never share your knowledge and experience within the GAG community? You have a story to tell and a voice to be heard. Why do you not express your mind through a mytake perhaps?
What is your name old timer? We have been speaking for quite a while now on GAG and I still never catched your name. I like getting to know the people I admire.
a lot of these points seem dishonest. you don't have to be mean, but if you're going to reject him, don't play around. do it flat and to the point. for example: this dude tried to invite himself to my house for sex, and he was someone i barely knew. i told him no. when he asked why, i said "because i said so." flat and to the point.
Here's a good way to reject someone, just flat out tell them you're not interested. Your reasons don't matter, they don't want to be your friend, and the only person you're trying to be polite for is your own self. So have some self respect and speak with conviction.
@Shawn58 thanks, I'm good. I have different kinds of chocolates in my life, at the moment i have snickers, tmr probably mars... the day after who knows... 😂😂😂
I'd rather have the shitty truths than blissful lies that lead me on and make me waste my time (many guys will genuinely believe you are busy for possibly half a dozen times before getting a clue), so just say no to white lies. No hope is better than false hope (could be why I'm an atheist). As far as rejection, I've simply learned not to ask. If they don't come to me it's safe to assume they are not interested (something I learned by the late 1930's).
I don't know that you even have to be polite. I mean if he's way off base that means he's not paying attention to the vibe of the conversation he's just forcing this scenario to happen which is weird/uncomfortable. better to shut him down completely so he rethinks things
You don't have to be polite when you reject someone. I'm never polite when I reject someone. I just blurt out "I'm not interested!" like an asshole. I don't see a reason why I should be polite to them...
You titled this as "How To Politely Reject Someone" but you go on to advise girls on how to reject guys... This obviously wasn't intended to teach everyone how to reject someone.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I usually am straight upfront. I'll thank them and say how nice they are but I'm not interested. This one guy never gave up though, constantly tried to ask me out every day for months plus he was creepy (describing what he'd do to me even though I said JUST FRIENDS.) So it got to the point where I said "I don't like you that way. I never have never will" and I say that whenever he hits on me.
I've always been the rejected and it hurts so damn much. All I ever wanted since I was 12 was a girlfriend and eventually to get married and start a family. Now at the age of 25, it is becoming apparent to me that it will never happen. There is no rainbow bearing a pot of gold at the end of it.
The first two will help me a lot. The last one I've tried but I don't like, since it's confusing to him and somewhat leads him on. But thanks for this!
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Disagree with a lot of these, especially the last one. All that does is drag things out only to make the pain worse once you find out the truth.
I once had a girl who acted very hot and cold throughout the time I dated her. Like shed keep in contact but once Id ask her out she'd make excuses and when she did ask me to hang out, it seemed very last minute. Then the last time I saw her, I learned the hard way that she was just playing me and I was her side guy.
I'd rather her just tell me the truth. After a while you realize wow all these girls tell me how great I am, yet still don't want to be with me. Then you realize it's complete bs and it hurts just the same.
Well I'm sure you would be intelligent enough to interpret the truth. You may not be physically her type or she doesn't find your personality very appealing.
None of these are good choices to use. Just be honest and tell him up front that you are not interested. Sure, it may suck but it'll save him time and future heart ache if you just tell him right away
All that is good except for one thing: WHITE LIES ARE NOT OKAY Double speak is not how guys communicate and probably will not pick up on even if aware.
Never lie; many guys get heated when they make the effort and you lie to heir face. You are basically saying "I have no respect for you and you're feelings don't matter. I'm just worried about me and being uncomfortable."
I think sugar coating won't work for me. Just be up front and straight. I'll get it. And that's it. Why you want to sugar coat it this much. He will get diabetics... LOL :D
NO direct response is better cuz by this you are giving him the "False Hope".
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
The first one is good.
All the othes NO. Don't do any of the others besides the first. Any guy that isn't a moron will feel deeply insulted. They'll feel patronized and they'll know you're lying with your white lie.
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