How To Politely Reject Someone

kneehow
How To Politely Reject Someone

We all have experienced rejection at some point in our lives. Maybe you auditioned for a lead role in your high school musical but ended up being the background dancer , applied for your dream job and didn't even get picked for an interview, or finally mustered up enough courage to ask out the girl/boy of your dream but they weren't interested.

Yes, rejection can be very lethal to our self-esteem and it can definitely put a dent in our ego.But we must not let the fear of rejection cripple us from pursuing what we want in our lives. These situations should make us stronger, more resilient and tougher. We should always love ourselves unconditionally. Accept ourselves exactly as we are. Wallowing in self-pity or feeling defeated wouldn't get us anywhere in this big bad world.

But if you have ever been on the other side of the fence where you had to utter the soul-crushing word "No" to someone, you know how hard it can be when even you're in the position of power. Maybe you're unable to reciprocate the romantic feelings, someone has for you. In that situation, you have to be clever enough to walk a fine line between honest and harsh.

Remember, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to be open and vulnerable in front of someone. Maybe the person's

fear of rejection has crept in, the anticipation is killing them but they are still anxiously hoping for a resounding "Yes". He/she may not be the person for you and that's okay. You have control over who you want to date or not date. They should also be gracious enough to accept "No" for an answer and not turn vindictive or bitter toward you after a painful rejection.

I've blabbered long enough, let me list all the simple, easy to follow steps to reject someone. I can guarantee, they will not even regret their decision to ask despite being rejected .

Tell him you truly appreciate his kind words

How To Politely Reject Someone

Tell him he made you feel good about yourself. He has made you feel special. Say something along the lines of " You're too kind but you've definitely made my day" or say joking "Stop complimenting me, I may fool myself into believing they are true."

Highlight his good qualities
How To Politely Reject Someone

He shouldn't devalue himself for not being your type. There are plenty of fish in the ocean and maybe the girl of his dream is out there although it may not be you. Tell the brave man how brave he actually is for being completely honest with you.

Adopt a self-deprecating sense of humor

How To Politely Reject Someone

Joking warn the guy by saying "Oh Jhon, you don't want to be with me. Now, you're saying all these nice things about me but you will be in for a rude awakening"

Tell him you are busy ( white lies are okay)
How To Politely Reject Someone

He will still be intelligent enough to translate that means you're not interested. But remember, beautiful lies are better than painful truths.

How To Politely Reject Someone
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Most Helpful Girl

  • AriadneSky
    i don't like being built up while rejected. its either confusing or patronizing or both. i really just like a direct answer so i can be clear about things and move on.

    when someone starts going into how great you are you stand there feeling the 'but' coming and it sucks. plus i know my good qualities better than someone who has never even darted me. and i don't need permission to ask or to be told i shouldn't feel bad.

    i think people need to learn how to be direct not ice. bc many of them think the short cut to nice is ignoring, and it all goes to hell.

    i think being upfront and respectful is the bet way to go. long rejections kind of suck. and no one likes feeling 'handled'.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • BubbleBoy69
    Last one is a fucking no and will drag things out for both of you and make him even worse when he figures out what's going on.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Just be fucking upfront and honest and tell them you appreciate it but your not interested.

    • kneehow

      Everyone knows busy= NOT INTERESTED!!! it is just said to soften the blow.

    • You shouldn't assume that. A lot of guys are dense and might actually think your busy.

      For example - Suppose the girl i'm dealing with is a medical student. Her being busy might actual be a legit thing I'd take into consideration as being true.

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

627
  • Bvroon
    I believe that honesty is the best approach. Now this does not mean you need to be cruel, just honest. I dated a girl briefly when I was in high school, and she was very attracted to me and really seemed to like me, and in all fairness I was initially attracted to the attraction, however I was making plans to go into the service so I knew I was going to be leaving, secondly I didn't want to be the guy who has sex with her (using her) and then leaves, as this is not what I would want done to me. So while it is true we did go on a few dates, and even kissed a few times, we never had sex. I did break up with her, and I was honest in the sense that I was not physically attracted to her, I was not mean about it, just honest, I did try to be friends with her after the fact, but that didn't seem to last for very long. I did hurt her feelings some (not what I wanted). I could take some comfort in the fact that I didn't use her, was honest with her and did my best to comfort her when she was upset. I would like to think this is not a terrible sort of thing.
  • red324
    I'd rather her just tell me the truth. After a while you realize wow all these girls tell me how great I am, yet still don't want to be with me. Then you realize it's complete bs and it hurts just the same.
    • kneehow

      Well I'm sure you would be intelligent enough to interpret the truth. You may not be physically her type or she doesn't find your personality very appealing.

    • Vostock

      still hurts

  • kellyg83
    a lot of these points seem dishonest. you don't have to be mean, but if you're going to reject him, don't play around. do it flat and to the point. for example: this dude tried to invite himself to my house for sex, and he was someone i barely knew. i told him no. when he asked why, i said "because i said so." flat and to the point.
  • TheGOM
    Here's a good way to reject someone, just flat out tell them you're not interested. Your reasons don't matter, they don't want to be your friend, and the only person you're trying to be polite for is your own self. So have some self respect and speak with conviction.
    • Avery18

      best comment

    • Shawn58

      @Avery18 Avery you look kinda good you want some chocolate in your life by any chance lmao

    • Avery18

      @Shawn58 thanks, I'm good. I have different kinds of chocolates in my life, at the moment i have snickers, tmr probably mars... the day after who knows... 😂😂😂

    • Show All
  • likitb4istickit
    I'd rather have the shitty truths than blissful lies that lead me on and make me waste my time (many guys will genuinely believe you are busy for possibly half a dozen times before getting a clue), so just say no to white lies. No hope is better than false hope (could be why I'm an atheist). As far as rejection, I've simply learned not to ask. If they don't come to me it's safe to assume they are not interested (something I learned by the late 1930's).
  • pavlove
    I don't know that you even have to be polite. I mean if he's way off base that means he's not paying attention to the vibe of the conversation he's just forcing this scenario to happen which is weird/uncomfortable. better to shut him down completely so he rethinks things
  • ASEXY
    You don't have to be polite when you reject someone. I'm never polite when I reject someone. I just blurt out "I'm not interested!" like an asshole. I don't see a reason why I should be polite to them...

    You titled this as "How To Politely Reject Someone" but you go on to advise girls on how to reject guys... This obviously wasn't intended to teach everyone how to reject someone.
  • justagirl5
    The first two will help me a lot. The last one I've tried but I don't like, since it's confusing to him and somewhat leads him on. But thanks for this!
  • Vostock
    I've always been the rejected and it hurts so damn much. All I ever wanted since I was 12 was a girlfriend and eventually to get married and start a family. Now at the age of 25, it is becoming apparent to me that it will never happen. There is no rainbow bearing a pot of gold at the end of it.
  • Baumber
    None of these are good choices to use. Just be honest and tell him up front that you are not interested. Sure, it may suck but it'll save him time and future heart ache if you just tell him right away
  • giggleswilmington
    All that is good except for one thing:
    WHITE LIES ARE NOT OKAY
    Double speak is not how guys communicate and probably will not pick up on even if aware.
  • kinggeorge007
    I think sugar coating won't work for me. Just be up front and straight. I'll get it. And that's it. Why you want to sugar coat it this much. He will get diabetics... LOL :D
  • Tony1974
    Never lie; many guys get heated when they make the effort and you lie to heir face. You are basically saying "I have no respect for you and you're feelings don't matter. I'm just worried about me and being uncomfortable."

  • YourFutureEx
    I liked the post but the last point... not so much.
    • White lies are ok when you have to avoid an persistent asshole.

    • @ThisDudeHere but then... if he's an asshole, why would she reject him "politely"?

    • Perhaps asshole was the wrong word to use. Basically some one who's not doing anything definitively bad but is highly annoying none the less.

  • Darkone1
    NO direct response is better cuz by this you are giving him the "False Hope".
  • Usersame
    The usual "i have a boyriend" line works best in both making the message clear and preventing any decent guy from continuing.
  • UpsideDownTableLamp
    I agree with all except the last one. I had a girl do this to me, I thought she was actually busy, so I kept asking when I would have stopped if she had just told me she does not like me.
  • Unit1
    Bad ideas!

    The only way to properly reject is to say "No but thank you!"
    • I was taught that saying "no thank you" is actually rude, because rejecting a person is not at all the same thing as turning down a cup of tea for example. It's actually kind of an odd response if you think about it.

    • Unit1

      @samhradh_leannan The truth is, that it will depend from person to person.

      If a girl were to be uninterested in me, I'd much rather have it quick and straight to the point rather than around it. I mean I prefer it that way.

    • Fair enough.

  • Jemini_Crocket
    He's gonna think you're friendzoning him anyway. : I hate this age.
  • cth96190
    I was not rejected in nice ways, ever.
    Perhaps it was the culture in rural Australia, at the time.
    Any conversation that did not involve the girl saying "fuck off" or "fuck off, you freak" was counted as a success.
    In the end, I gave up. I applied the first and second principles of military tactics: fight only the battles that you can win; and do not reinforce defeat.
    Now I am the one who does the rejecting, mainly by pretending to not notice the displays of interest by various females for whom I would have been 'not fun enough', or 'too nice' when they and I were 20.
    Strange how there is a power reversal in gender relations after the age of 30 to 35.
    • Mrwoo99

      What do you mean by power reversal?

    • cth96190

      @Mrwoo99
      What I mean by a power reversal is that when women are young they have high sexual market value. They hold all the cards and they know it. That is why so many are obnoxious bitches.
      Between the ages of 30 to 35 (typically) they hit the wall, which means that their youthful beauty begins to fade.
      The bad boys who caused their crotches to tingle when they were 20 stop paying attention to them and men in general take less of an interest in them.
      About the same time, most men begin to think with the larger of their two heads. That is the age at which most who go MGTOW take that decision.
      Women who had a wonderful time being cum dumpsters for bad boys during their teens and 20s find themselves alone, with few prospects and, if they are really unlucky, have one or more Mini Me versions of one or more of the bad boys snapping at their ankles.
      These are the women who grab hold of the 'life begins at 40' delusion when someone puts it forward.
      continued. . .

    • cth96190

      @Mrwoo99
      continued. . .
      part 2
      During my work in the media, I came to know many different people. Two such people were the owners of old-fashioned introduction agencies. These were the good ones, which had offices and required potential clients to attend for interviews.
      Both of these agency owners told me this same thing.
      They said that between the ages of 18 to 35 they had five males to every female on their books.
      At age 35 that began to change and by age 40 they had five females to every male.
      It was not that the males had died, or been abducted by aliens. What happened was that the men had simply had a gutful of the mind games and other bullshit that is involved in dealing with women.
      The men also became aware of how the Family Law Act and the Family Court (that is what they are called, here in Australia) were biased in favour of women to a degree that was grotesque.
      The men did a cost/risk/benefit analysis and decided to walk away.
      continued. . .

    • Show All
  • KiaTate
    What happens if the person doesn't take the rejection well and they start cussing you out?
  • MarkTwain
    Do you know how many phone # I have that ended up just telling they are busy... FML
  • Words_and_Wisdom
    If she has a single friend, perhaps she should see if her friend would be interested.
  • kickme
    I think if you reject him you should at least offer him a handjob? its the least you can do
  • MisterSir
    ... or you could just say "thank you, but i'm not interested."
  • Anonymous
    I usually am straight upfront. I'll thank them and say how nice they are but I'm not interested. This one guy never gave up though, constantly tried to ask me out every day for months plus he was creepy (describing what he'd do to me even though I said JUST FRIENDS.) So it got to the point where I said "I don't like you that way. I never have never will" and I say that whenever he hits on me.
  • Anonymous
    ok cool
  • Anonymous
    The trick to rejecting women I found is to make them think its them rejecting you otherwise you may have a bunny boiler on your hands.
  • Anonymous
    The first one is good.

    All the othes NO. Don't do any of the others besides the first. Any guy that isn't a moron will feel deeply insulted. They'll feel patronized and they'll know you're lying with your white lie.
  • Anonymous
    prostitutes are most honest
  • Anonymous
    Disagree with a lot of these, especially the last one. All that does is drag things out only to make the pain worse once you find out the truth.

    I once had a girl who acted very hot and cold throughout the time I dated her. Like shed keep in contact but once Id ask her out she'd make excuses and when she did ask me to hang out, it seemed very last minute. Then the last time I saw her, I learned the hard way that she was just playing me and I was her side guy.
  • Anonymous
    there are a lot of people who needs that
  • Anonymous
    White lies are never ok

    *oh I'm too busy for a relationship, I'm not ready"
    3 days later her with a new boyfriend

    You don't know how that feels. I don't know maybe because you're a girl, but lies like that are terrible
    • Vostock

      I hate when they pull that bullshit, then they wonder why i never talk to them again

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