Why Refusing to Date Bisexuals is Either an Insecurity Issue or Bi-phobic (Page 2)
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People who are so vehemently against it, I'm finding it interesting how none of you have brought a valid explanation to the table as you why you're against it that doesn't put you in either one of the categories OP has put forward.
What someone does should not matter to those who are not impacted by it.
@America1st Which is exactly the reason why homophobia makes no sense.
The only defense I've heard about it's comparable to be offputted by incest. Like if someone had sex with your family memeber then tried to date you, rejecting them because while having sex with them you would think of your family member they fucked.
So when they have
A bisexual partner they'll think of the gay sex they had and be digusted by it
Very few people are vehemently against it. All they are saying is they wouldn't date a bisexual person. Who the fuck cares?
I don't care if lesbians don't want to date me. I don't ask those women why they don't like men, do I? So who the fuck cares why I don't date bisexuals. I just don't, and I never will at least consciously. Maybe the girls I've been with lied on not liking other women, what is for sure is that if they would have admitted that at any point I'll dump them right in the spot.
I want women who are exclusively attracted to men. What anybody else wants I could care less.
@the_bright_one Few people are against it? I think you need to look at the opinions people have posted on here again.
No one is saying you should date a bisexual person. I think the point of this take is to demonstrate that your 'preference' to not date bisexuals is not entirely organic and is rooted in bias and prejudice. To say that you'd dump a great girl just because she's attracted to both genders is bizarre to me, in my opinion.
"your 'preference' to not date bisexuals is not entirely organic and is rooted in bias and prejudice."
Exactly my point. So if I went and said lesbians wouldn't date me because I am a man then they are also basing themselves on bias and prejudice then?
It's all about preferences. Gay men are not comfortable sleeping with women, lesbians are not comfortable sleeping with men. I am not comfortable sleeping with someone who goes both ways. It's just the way it is.
I can only speak or myself here, but women who are exclusively attracted to masculine features is such a turn on for me, while girls who are attracted to both masculine and femenine features is such a turn off. There's no other reason than that. I have also noticed bisexual women tend to favor women too, but that's just a personal observations.
One I find extremely attractive, the other not. It just is.
@the_bright_one Not being attracted to bisexuals is not a sexual orientation, like you're trying to make it out to be. Gay and lesbian people don't just not sleep with the opposite gender because they're 'uncomfortable' with it, they're simply not attracted to them. A person being bisexual has nothing to do with how physically attractive they are to you, it's only the idea of them swinging both ways that makes you feel intimidated.
I'm not saying it is. But my comparison comes from the fact that just as lesbians and gay men can't help themselves I also can't. I'm not intimidated at all lol but I simply can't feel attraction to a girl who would lick another girl's pussy or suck on another girl's tits the same way I would, to put it crudely. I think it's weird as fuck, and I rather being with someone who likes nothing else but masculine stuff. I've met a handful of girls like that and it really is the best thing for me, whereas to bi girls it just doesn't work/click the same way. There are hundreds of dudes for them, anyways. So whatever
@the_bright_one Okay perhaps not intimidation. Most definitely homophobia though.
lmao ok so now I'm homophobic then... what part of "I want women who are exclusively attracted to men. What anybody else wants I could care less." you didn't get
doesn't matter keep throwing names call me what you want, now I see I was wasting my time with a leftie
@the_bright_one "I think it's weird as fuck"
Digest that statement and then come back to me 👍
It IS weird as fuck. I respect / don't care if lesbians do that, but that doesn't mean I would go and make out with one of them. I don't like the idea of a girl who's also attracted to other girls while being with ME. There are preferences leftie, deal with it.
@the_bright_one Lol you really think ascribing me to some arbitrary political leaning is going to insult me? Bro you've got a lot to learn.
@itsallover : but it struck a chord that you felt compelled to discuss it.
When people similarly behave, I just say, "I'm not a registered voter". That ganglefucks their mind no end.
@Ahsthen who are you and why are you commenting on such old posts?
Who can tell? Topics get the days past rubbed off after a week.
Well in my personal experience, bi-sexual women are much more likely to have mental health issues like depression or anxiety and tend to be quite promiscuous. obviously not every bi-woman is like that, however, the ones I've known (yes, known) were like.
So, you can try to call it a phobia or whatever, but in reality it's just simple logic.
Why i don't care.. call me bi-phobic, I'm still not doing it lolz
And i don't want a dude who likes dick, sorry just no.
I wouldn't want to date a girl who couldn't date a guy who does that.
And you're free not to date bisexuals, I'm just telling you guys the reason why you aren't.
I don't want a girl who likes pussy also.
@Anon1256
She may do it in secret. Not all people are open with you about everything.
@Clock-Yom-Kipperloo Thank God, I'm not with her. If I found out, she'd be out the door.
Lot's of what you say is true, but it is completely untrue to say that refusing to date Bi-sexuals is Bi-phobic.
Refusing or resisting to date bisexuals can be based on a respectful understanding of what bi-sexuality is. It is not just based on the ability to be attracted to people of either gender, but also the ability to be attracted to both genders.
The more than subtle difference there is that for someone dating with an eye on the long term may be a legitimate worry that they may, or may not be able to satisfy a partner who is into both genders, rather than either gender.
It may be biased but you can't force people to be comfortable with something they aren't. Plain and simple.
I never said I'll force them or pressure them. You jumped to that conclusion.
I didn't mean YOU were forcing anything on anyone. I meant you as in whoever. But statements like "So why should it matter?" might cause one to jump to such a conclusion... The point is no matter what their reason if it matters to someone that is their choice. You don't agree then great.
I'm merely spreading awareness that most of these reasons people give for not dating a bisexual is rooted in bias or insecurity. Only 1 or 2 people gave a legitimate reason for not dating them that didn't fall under the categories I mentioned.
To put it simply, most people find this extremely repulsive
Speaking for myself, I can agree that part of my apprehension is insecurity. A man has something I can never bring to the table. How can I compete with that? That's like an invisible enemy. Also, it adds to the number of people he can find attractive or maybe interesting enough to leave me for. I don't mean to be so negative, it's not like bi people are less trust worthy. As a straight woman though, I would feel less secure of my hold on my man, if other men could also catch his eye.
perfectly said
It's not a competition.
They can label it in whatever way makes them feel better, but I still wouldn't want to date a bisexual girl. And it's not like I would ever specifically tell a girl that I am rejecting her for being bisexual so I can't see how this would ever be an issue anyways.
Oh and in regard to the bisexual cheat more/sleep around more argument.
As far as I am aware there are not any studies that have compared the rate of infidelity or promiscuity of heterosexuals to bisexuals. So I will admit that I can’t objectively prove that they do sleep around or cheat more. However, you also can’t objectively say that they don’t. It’s still up in the air at this point.
I don't think preference has to go as deep as stemming from insecurity or phobia. If I am athletic and prefer to date someone who is also athletic due to our commonality, it doesn't necessarily mean that I am insecure or that I am biased against people who never played sports. It's just something that is on the list that I look for in dating partners.
If it's purely for commonality then it's personal preference.
Right... and preference doesn't equate with bias OR phobia. Just because you prefer someone heterosexual because it's more familiar to them, that doesn't mean they are phobic or biased. Most people aren't either. They just stick to what is familiar to them.
If it was the reasons in my take it is either insecurity or homophobia
*or just bias against a sexual orientation
That's bullshit because it's not as if you are at all isolated from Heterosexual Community.
@Alexzktrafied
I don't understand what you mean.
Well, there will always be people out there who are scared of anything that is different. Those aren't the kind of people who you want to surround yourself with anyhow. I have dated two bisexual men and also one who was a crossdresser. My biggest complaint is that none of them were honest about it from the beginning. It's not cool to date someone for a year and then drop something like that on them. Just be honest about who you are from the beginning. I would have dated them anyway. But the deception? Not cool
I totally agree with you. I don't know why so many people have a problem with dating a bisexual because bisexuals are not that different from heterosexuals and homosexuals. I don't get how being bisexual would affect the other important things in a relationship. Ignore all the opinions on this myTake. They are just a bunch of nobodies...
So this is supposed to make me date bi? I don't date bi because I'm against homesexuality and I'm the jealous type so if I have to worry about both guy and women it wouldn't work.
you are against homosexuality? it not being a preference is one thing but that crap belongs in the 1st century
@guysaskgirls555 why does everybody have to agree on this to make you happy. If she doesn't like it, it doesn't effect you. Back off.
@America1st no, you back off. there is a difference to not liking something and being AGAINST IT> maybe you should learn the definitions before jumping the gun?
@guysaskgirls555 get over people are entitled to their opinions
@guysaskgirls555 yes, I'm.
@guysaskgirls555 So, according to you she has the right not like Gay, but no right to hate Gay. Since you feel the power to take away peoples right's, I take you right to say anything on this subject. Pretty stupid, huh? Just as stupid as you thinking you have the right to tell people what they cana and can't say or do. Go away.
@America1st you literally make no sense. Im not saying she has no right, I am saying that crap belongs in the 1st century. I have no problem with you addressing a point that I actually made but until then go away and actually come up with an ACTUAL argument and the reason why i have such a problem with it is because I have seen gay people have parents who are ''against'' it and actually think its a ''sickness'' nothing on my side sounds stupid, but you clearly dont understand the seriousness of it.
@guysaskgirls555 the classic anyone who disagrees with me is a bigot nice move but it lacks originality
@ManDudeBro It doesn't matter if it ''lacks originality'' its the truth. having your own opinion is one thing but when it effects other people then its crossing the line. you can say you have that you refuse to date a bisexual because the thought is repulsive and that is completely understandable but being against gays as a whole definitely is a form of bigotry. everyone here seems to lack common sense. Im muting this post
and when I say it effects other people Its mostly the people who are against such things then end up having kids who are to ashamed to come out because their parents are against it. The parent makes a child think it is a sickness. Back in my church days there was a gay kid who kept talking about how he was ''cured'' from homosexuality. This is the thought process of a lot of people who are against it. They dont see it as natural even though its all throughout the animal kingdom. Its an ignorant view usually brought by bible thumpers. you can ignore this all you want, but you will only be lying to yourself
@guysaskgirls555 if u wanna talk about it from an evolutionary standpoint it still doesn't make sense so it's not just Bible thumpers
@guysaskgirls555 So, if I don't agree with you I must shut up and I'm a bigot? You're really mature...
you are not a bigot for that as I never said anything close to it. you can think that its nasty and not prefer it all you want but being against it is entirely different. Hopefully if you ever have kids they dont end up being gay because you would be against something they can't help.
@ManDudeBro im not saying it make sense I am saying that bibe thumpers tend to be homophobes.
@guysaskgirls555 there is a grey area of being against a behaviour but not a person
@ManDudeBro you mean a behavior such as something they can't help? its different when someone is against something that effects other people, such as being a homophobe. Its indifferent when someone is gay and did not choose to be gay.
@guysaskgirls555 it's funny when I have gay and bi friends who understand my point
@ManDudeBro I understand your point, but its almost as if you reply to me without actually understanding what I am telling you. I never said its normal nor did I say there is a evolutionary purpose to it. you have dragged this to far off topic so Im going to go now.
@guysaskgirls555 homosexuals are like banned books… they burn in a fire in the end
The point here is she is aware of herself and open about.
Preaching tolerance while wanting to shame people with a preference into dating certain people.
There's a difference between personal preference and not dating someone because you have something against their demographic as a whole.
Or you have a personal preference that by chance is displayed by a certain demographic. 'duh.
You are a fucking genius, man. And people see the irony in your statement already. I just worded it.
Okay let me out in simpler terms.
1) Someone don't date (your races) people because you don't find their facial features attractive, you would also date someone who finds (your race's) people attractive, that's personal preference.
2) They don't date (your race's) people because you openly think they're inferior to them. They have a strong disgust for them as a race. That's intolerance and racism don't you think. That's not personal preference.
3) Someone don't date (your race's) people and they find it repulsive that someone could find anyone in your race attractive. If someone they dated for years and fell in love with said they did find your race's people attractive, they would break up with them out of disgust.
So you're saying #3 has nothing against your race?
*lay it out in simpler terms
*1) secenerion it should be "they" would date someone who found people in your race attractive
That's what preference is about. So yes, perfectly fine.
The problem here is that you instantly equate said preference to discrimination. You are wanting tolerance, but are incapable of tolerating other peoples preferences.
Wait so your saying all 3 scenarios are personal preference?
1 and 3 are.
Logically explain why 3 doesn't have anything against your race.
Its like doing a blinddating. Just like I wouldn't know the race before - someone doesn't know their dates sexuality before.
Thus when it gets revealed, they realise its not part of their preference and thus end it. If I didn't know someone was a certain ethnicity which I find unattractive and then find out - it naturally can be a dealbreaker depending on the severity of my preference.
That's Number 1, I think that's personal preference. I asked about Number 3.
Actually it still is personal preference. Just because you didn't know about it right away doesn't make it any less personal preference.
Apparently people who don't want to date bisexuals, have an irrational fear of two.
If you can't explain why talk personal preference in a logical manner while you can explain the other one, then it's probably not logically personal preference. I actually made a poll about this and about 70% of GAG thought Number 3 was racist.
*why it's personal preference
You asked me "Logically explain why 3 doesn't have anything against your race."
You never asked me to explain why #3 is a preference. So stop twisting my words.
When said preference, I mean personal preference, as in nothing bigoted like racist or negative biases towards that race.
Think personal preference like not dating tall, or short, or blondes, or muscular, or skinny, or brunettes. Logically explain that.
Lmao I understand this. I don't think I've ever dated anyone Bi before, but if they were I wouldn't give a shit. You're fucking staying exclusive to me or fuck off. Same for anyone that ever dates me. So what if they like girls and guys at the same time. If I love them. I love them. I can't fuck with these fake love people
Where do you get this tomfoolery from? If someone is bisexual then there are some things they seek sexually that you can't provide. So yes, they are more likely to cheat. The stuff you mention about race is not comparable. Liking either penises or vaginas, or both, is considerably more significant than what color they happen to be...
Thinking you're not good enough to provide for them is insecurity, which I mentioned in the take.
It's not insecurity to not want your sig other to be fucking other people while in a relationship.
I think I mostly agree with that- I'd feel uncomfortable dating a bisexual person and I'm well aware that it's because of my insecurities. However, I don't know if this is true for 100% of cases. I think it's possible for someone to simply feel the most comfortable dating someone with the same sexual orientation as them.
Bisexuals are more common than most people think and there are a lot of misconceptions about them like they are prone to cheat or go around looking for group sex and other weird swinger stuff. The ones I know are monogamous minded and just happen to have the capacity to live either male or female. Personally, I think they are better off pairing with each other since most people don't understand them or object to them.
Only 10% of the US identify as being other than hetero.
@lovelyhoneybones Being in the art field I run into a higher concentration than most people might I think lol.
Everyone now-a-days claims to be bi-sexual. There are a crazy number of people who CLAIM it but don't actually practice it.
@lovelyhoneybones I'm not going to ask them to prove it. It's not that important to me.
@lovelyhoneybones OK but is policing people's identities really constructive? I get that a lot of bisexual people don't often have same-sex relationships, but I think that's more a numbers thing (you're more likely to find a straight person interested in you, just statistically speaking) than anything else.
@powerwoman Nobody is saying anything about "policing". All I'm saying is that people try to make something small seem big. 10% is a small amount.
@lovelyhoneybones OK-- but 10% is still millions of people-- it's a large demographic, no matter how you frame it, and even if it wasn't, well, minority issues matter too.
@powerwoman Well said!
Thanks!
@lovelyhoneybones More like 50%
@Incompatible More like 10%
You have the capacity to live male or female. HILARIOUS, does your pecker snap on and off or does it attach with glue? Screws perhaps?
Cutting off your pecker doesn't make you a girl, it makes you a moron who cut off his pecker!
@kickme Thanks for noticing a typo:) I'm proud of you!
@kickme : no - but I recommend everyone wait for more sophisticated bio-engineering, simply for aesthetic's sake, though having a real vagina or cock should be an incentive.
I couldn't do it. I feel like it makes him less masculine and not sure about his sexuality. I dont know why but its a major turn off for me. I want a man who ONLY likes women and is very manly.. Being Bi must be just curiosity, there must be one sex they like more. Its very confusing.
I think it's wrong if you to think that it's wrong for people to not want to date someone who is bisexual. I prefer men who like women and only women. As I'm sure many gay people would prefer someone who is strictly gay. There's nothing wrong with having a preference. For me it's not something I'm insecure about but if you look at statistics and facts men who have sex with other men are more likely to have STD's and HIV is more common among them.
So many new phobia are discovered these days! A few hours ago I heard about penisphobia from a lesbian.
And... Oh, yeah, bi girls. Dated two of those. Was there a problem?
If they don't like biphobia they can just call it the name of the individual issue you have you a problem with. It could be insecurity issues or a bias against the type of sexual behavior, if that will make them feel better.
The reason why I call it bi-phobia is because all these reasons are usually only an issue when concerning bisexuals.
Yeah.
Well, I still don't give a shit. If she's bi... well, good for her! How about exchanging tips on cunnilingus? I mean, I can't blame anyone for liking women... Can't blame anyone for liking men either, after all I'm one LOL
Funny thing is, the "tolerant" ones (ie, liberal retards) are usually the first to fling shit and get into flame wars with the bis and the trans and the feminists and others. Recently I watched a mud-fight of this kind on Tumblr. It was... quite epic.
why does everything have to do with insecurity? why not just plain and simple dislike?
seriously these shaming tactics are so old,,,,
i dont want to date a bi girl because i dont like being with a girl that also likes women. i dont want that. plain and simple.
No, it just means they don't want to date them. You can't tell others what to do.
When did this take imply you have to date bisexuals?
I didn't say that it did. I was saying it's OK not to.
Logically explain why the reasons listed in my myTake for rejecting a bisexual isn't either insecurity or a bias against a sexual orientation's behavior.
If it was purely because you'd have more in common with a straight person then this take doesn't apply. However if thinking gay sex is gross or thinking their likely to cheat or worried you can't satisfy them is another reason, then this take applies.
I won't explain anything.
Then I'll assume you have nothing.
Same lol
Actually, I have a Q
LOL.
So: Lots of Bi people end up with straight or gay partners. Does that mean that they're biphobic? Because, I think it'd be really hard to be phobic towards people like you. So, aren't you prejudiced towards straight and gay people?
" if thinking gay sex is gross" I do think it's gross, what's wrong with that? If I didn't think it was gross, then I'd probably be do it and therefore be gay myself. Being homophobic, or 'bi-phobic' in your scenario, would suggest that I dislike homosexual PEOPLE. Which couldn't be further from the truth. I've hung out with gay guys, have no problem with them whatsoever, they're just the same as anyone else to me. But of course I find gay sex gross, obviously I'd never say that to a gay guy, because that would be rude. But I'm sure the gay guy probably finds having sex with a woman to be gross as well. That's life, people have preferences. Stop trying to extend definitions to accuse people based on your own bullshit reasons.
And in answer to your take, personally, I'm not attracted to bisexual women because homosexuality is foreign to me and I want to be with a girl whom I can relate to.
@Kkaos You should make your own post, so it's more clear you know. I had to double check to realise you were replying to what the mytake owner said. Like I said to him, I think he's biased towards gay and straight people so jow can he judge anyone anyway. It's OK to have preferences I agree.
Eh, my bad. I kind of invaded your post, sorry about that. It was just a particular thing I saw him write here that I wanted to address to him, I didn't read his whole take.
@Kkaos It's cool dude.