Guys and Communication 101.

I've dated my fair share of men between the ages of 18 all the way down to 42. If there are some things that I've learned in dealing with the male species... communication from the start, will determine how he is gonna treat you, and whether or not he is going to commit. So here are a few signs to help out the ladies out there, that might need some advice:

Guys and Communication 101.

1. Texting

If a guy takes a very long time to respond to your text message, you're not on his mind, and you certainly are not a priority. Trust me when I say, "where there is a will, there is a way". Now sure, if he texts back within a few minutes, and along the way he gets caught up in work- his responses may be delayed- but for the most part a man that is into you, will want to speak to you as much as he can, even if it is something impersonal as a text message.

As well, text messages that state "good morning" or "good night" are very good indicators that he is thinking about you when he wakes up, and goes to sleep.

2. Calling

If a guy likes you, he is going to want to hear your voice. There is no doubt about that. If a guy makes effort to call you on a daily basis, and want to hear how you're doing he is clearly invested. All too often you hear that guys don't really like to talk as much as ladies do, so if a guy is willing to chat- he is definitely a guy that is good for you.

3. Frequency of dates

The more he wants to see you, the more he likes you. A man won't invest time, effort and energy into someone that he doesn't care about nor want to see. This is especially true if the guy is more interested in getting to know you and taking you out on dates, rather than back to your place or his for some fun in the sack. If a guy is always making excuses for why he is so busy, don't waste your time and move on.

amandaschwartz is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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What Guys Said 2

  • Good take.. but I have to disagree on this point.

    If a guy takes a very long time to respond to your text message, you're not on his mind, and you certainly are not a priority. Trust me when I say, "where there is a will, there is a way".

    It's simply not true. If you are dating a REAL MAN who is living an exciting life in work and play guess what... he is not sitting by the phone just so he can respond to someone who is insecure enough to believe that if the man doesn't respond in a short time then the woman is not on his mind or a priority.

  • Great topic. Regarding #1, if I'm where I can text a very short message and no more. I text that I'm tied up and will let her know when I'm free to text. It only takes a few seconds and she knows I felt she is important enough to get back to if possible. I've been in 3-4 hour meetings and you don't mess with your phone at all. The girl will accept this when sh knows you respond if at all possible. If a guy does this too much, he is lying.

    #2 is good, but there are men that are not into talking on the phone all the time. I had a girlfriend who was like that. I gave her her space and she appreciated it. Can't apply the same exact rules to everybody.

    #3 I pretty much agree. In some cases, men and women don't need constant attention to believe the other person is interested. I'm one of them. That is being needy and I'm not. If I meet a girl that "requires" it, I usually stop with her because I want an independent and strong women. If she has to constantly hear from me, I don't need that nor should she. I show in many ways that I'm interested and if she is so insecure that she has to have proof on a constant basis, again, I move on. Like I said, this is a great question!


What Girls Said 1

  • You lost me at "dating"- given your other take, I would question the overlap of any of these "relationships" with your finding other people on the side.

    You lost me at "male species"- they're humans, not aliens. This dichotomy starts as "us"/"them" and far too rapidly becomes "us" versus "them." "And if we are to have any chance of a civil and humane society, we had better avoid the smug self-satisfaction of an elite that reeks of arrogance and condescension." I dont believe in creating false dichotomies, because personal responsibility for actions overrides gender.

    You lost me at "here's a list of HIS behaviors you can use to pass judgment on his intentions and commitment."- a theme through all of your posts seems to be placing responsibility on everyone else, while retaining an artificial "right" to pass judgment, and then act in exceedingly selfish ways based on it.

    People, not just men, have lives. They have comfort levels of how they communicate, how often, and the only patterns you should be concerned this much about, are yours. Are you communicating, texting, calling, asking to go out and do things?

    I would go on, except my biggest problem with this entire thing is that you've already stated that you use these indicators and whether you "feel" a man is doing enough of these to justify you not cheating on them.

    Rather than using these the build a joint relationship that is meant to grow, evolve, compromise, and change over time, this entire thing is about "did they give me enough of what I defined for them as the ways they have to show me love? Or should I go get it elsewhere."


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