I see a lot of girls post images of their text convos with guys where the guy apparently flips out, out of nowhere to the shock and discomfort of the seemingly well meaning girl. It's become a staple in "female humor" and honestly I've been guilty of asking girls about crazy stuff like this that's happened to them when I'm bored/there's no chemistry on the date and i'm running out the clock before it's appropriate to bolt.
Instead of orating or ranting, I thought it'd be better to use actual examples to demonstrate what i'm talking about. Now granted, these conversations are not intended for men to understand it's girl humor just like guy humor provokes and offends many girls, so does this too. At the same time, i think it's helpful to see what's at play on both sides...
1) She ghosted the guy for a good reason, but it's still a ghosting...
Anyway, i couldn't find a good example but basically it's the guy saying what did i do wrong and the girl days later says "i just want to give a new relationship a chance" then he flips out...
Well, yes you have a legit reason and many guys will just bow out knowing that if they do a friendship an introduction to someone else or something at a later date bw you two is not outside the realm of possibility. Still, she literally didn't think you were important enough to even warrant a heads up. It was cool to just stop talking to you and let you get the picture. I'm not saying its right or wrong but it sucks when you're less invested in than you've invested in someone else.
2) You meant nothing to her or at least it's gotten so bad she's willing to let you believe you mean nothing to her.
To a guy this reads pretty coldhearted. Yes, he was a douche in his delivery but she was a mega douche in her response and knowing how clever we imagine most girls are this was very deliberate in its attempt to inflict hurt. It's not a matter of overanalyzing...any idiot could see he clearly expected a certain response from the girl and did not get but rather its opposite. For her to say finally instead of fine or fine with me is icing on the cake of being truly apathetic. Then he embarrasses himself with a childish attempt to bait her which she doesn't take and just whaps him down even further. Poor guy...
3) His feelings as humor.
Ok, so here this was obviously a stunt to get the guy to react negatively to praise because the praise was written to resemble criticism. The fact that he fell for it without actually considering that he had proper grammar suggests that lots of girls pretend to be down to flirt and then flip the script to insult the guy. On some level, it also reveals that he knows he's a scumbag but again going to what it pretends to be, when girls use guys interest in them as comedy its just like of course I'm going to lash out. That's sick. We as guys never think oh this girl is into me i'm going to make fun of her for it. That's sick! So, he responds accordingly with that's why you're single (then she corrects his grammar as icing on the cake) and then she ends her little comment with and then he insulted her? Not saying anything to the fact that she had the last word. Plus, no one seems inclined to call her out for being an ahole either.
4) Sugar coated poison
The final one is the hardest to call out because it's so sugar coated. A guy could honestly pivot and start a reluctant friendship (though she did say good luck which suggests she's ready to just cut ties.) The problem is that words are just words. It's what's behind the words, the essence of what's trying to be said that matters. So in other words...
Hey little buddy you tried your hardest and you should feel good about that. But I thought about it and you're just not enough for me, you shouldn't take this incredibly personal assessment of your character personally. Good luck out there trying little buddy!
Yes, that's a rather insecure interpretation of the below text but most guys who find themselves in the situation are insecure to be fair. Plus, a lot of that is clearly intended. I mean when you tell someone "we'd better suited to other people, nothing personal" are you really thinking the other person deserves someone different than you? No, you're just letting them down gently. The lack of realness is even more insulting because it's as if you don't think they could handle a real rejection. It's just fake crap al throughout and that is why the guy "overreacts" and calls her a fat girl.
And, of course, he plays right into her hand by taking the bait of her super passive aggressive text. I
the point of this take was to say: girls, don't think guys don't pick up on it when you're acting bratty. we do though we often don't understand brattiness enough on a conscious level
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