Why Girls Think Pickup Advice Is Lame

Any girl who listens or reads any pick up advice will probably laugh, feel bad for the guy who believes it, or say there's only about 1 percent of it that makes any sense. Yet, girls definitely look to get picked up by hot/cool guys. It's easy to say that women just don't understand what it's like being a man trying to meet women. However, I believe there's a bigger issue that they can see but can't articulate that's going on...

Why Girls Think Pickup Advice Is Lame

When you're a kid you're learning the world around you. That's why its become a cliche to talk about how your childhood like it was some big series of traumas. Trauma might be the wrong word, but it did shape you and how you think of yourself in relation to the world.

As a kid, some boys very quickly became popular with girls. Not having become attracted yet to them, the attraction they put out wasn't conscious. Nevertheless, just like when a kid for some reason picks up fingerpainting really well the art teacher takes notice and tells the child they have a talent. The child gets affirmed that they are good and worthy of being great at this.

but some boys don't develop as quickly in this area and because they have eyes and ears they see the other boys ahead of them. They do not care at the time but the message becomes loud and clear to them, they are not as interesting to girls as the other boy. If you can remember back that far or if you have a chance to witness kids over a period of time you might notice how there's a sense of scornful envy that the other boys feel towards the boy who all the girls seem to take a liking to.

What does this have to do with pick up advice? Well, it's nearly all not only targeted toward people who aren't good with girls (this much is obvious) but it's almost entirely and i mean 99% created by guys who also didn't grow up attractive to women and, in fact, probably were so unappealing to women it hurt their ego so hard they studied naturally attractive men as if understanding their ways would cure world hunger.

And this is what women are picking up on and shaking their heads at. See, I can give you advice on how the greats play baseball and in fact my studying the greats and emulating them might make me a very decent player. But, there's a layer of insecurity beneath. They are the greats and I am a copycat. At least that's what i believe in my mind. and why would i when i base my entire skillset and behavior off of other people?

To me, guys who did not grow up liked by girls need to spend more time around guys who did. The problem isn't so much a skillset which i believe is honestly much more about the luck of good timing and various traits and situations outside of their control (they had an older sister and kind of understood girls better than the other boys because of it; they have a huge family so they are very social, etc. etc. etc.) The point is that knowing things to say when you yourself don't feel like an attractive guy is at best sad and at worse dangerous to your self esteem. when your confidence changes based on who you're talking to its not an issue of lack of social skills its an issue of lack of positive image. of course the allure of unattainable women is the reason we find them attractive but the feeling that they don't want to be bothered with someone like you doesn't go away because you learn some things to say. And when you do feel like they want you to talk to them your whole social skillset is finally at your disposal.

One last note is that it's ok to feel like you need a reason to justify your "hotness." the human mind has a hard time not knowing how things work or where they come from and taking it on faith. if you think girls like you because you're funny thats fine smart thats fine hot thats fine cultured thats fine charismatic thats fine just feel like whatever it is about you thats great about you you go into the interaction feeling like they're getting a lot out of being around you and that they'll be very happy with their decision to be around you.

and last last note...if you imagine taking your car to the shop that snot your official dealer for your car brand...if the first guy says he'll take of that no problem it will be about this much and you'll have it on this date or the second guy who says oh um i don't know um i have to look and then I don't know I guess I can get back to you and it could be days it could be weeks um but I can let you know and hold on let me see if we have room in our garage to store it...you're going with the first hands down. point is its super important that you make others feel that they will be safe with you in whatever way that means at the time. nervousness betrays a sense of not knowing yourself or your skillset which can make it problematic for girls to accept because if you don't know if you're a good choice then you very well may not be.

pavlove is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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What Girls Said 1

  • For some reason you make me really deperessed.

    • I don't know what it is about you but your posts and mytakes are deperessing.

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