Looking for that special someone? On the look-out for any potential dates? Fear not, I arrive with a piece of simple advice that helped me tremendously in my own journey. I hope you can get something out of this as well.
I used to constantly be thinking of my future life in a two story house with a nice white picket fence, a luxurious SUV outside, two pet dogs, and of course the queen that I would be married to. It would start with me meeting her somewhere and gradually getting to know her, constantly giving out subtle hints that I liked her. Then, in my amazing fantasy, she would hint that she liked me as well, and eventually we'd get together! Sounds great doesn't it??
It does, except for the fact that it won't happen. Why did I plan everything out? Step A to step Z? I didn't know the future, but I was certain it would happen that way. A common problem is that we all romanticize this subject far too much in how we will meet our "king", or "queen", and just how we will go about living together with them. We don't consider the difficulties, or possibilities that our standards are just too high.
We get into some screen-play thinking and plan our entire wonderful journey bit by bit. We imagine how our future partner may look, or what they may do. We see how majestic it looks in novels and on TV, and even hearing some real life stories (which has us believe that it can all really come true). We crave that meaningful life full of adventure and purpose with someone. It makes it even better if they have all the aesthetics we desire to see as well. But, meeting that lady in a open pastern with wind blowing, her holding on to her straw hat, staring right at you waiting for you to approach is just not going to happen. No longer live in this dream. Break away from it and embrace reality to find your real lover, and never again allow your absurd "wants" to take over your life. You may even miss someone special if you keep this up.
There is nothing wrong with wanting someone who isn't a slob, or isn't a bad person. But you won't get this elusive dream to become reality. This ideal person will just simply not be real.
I encourage my fellow fantasizers to embrace reality; let go of the need to meet your future S/O in an amazing place. Accept that you may just run across them in Wal-Mart! Or, bump into them accidentally. Maybe it could even be online! Waiting in line for something! In the bathroom!...What?
Once you grasp reality, you will never feel more powerful, and the possibilities are endless. You will hopefully feel more relaxed and be able to feel comfort in knowing that it's possible almost anywhere.
It's going to take time. You'll find it hard to embrace reality, but you will feel so much better once you do, and the probability that you will meet that special someone will significantly increase. Once you drop the long list of how they should look, and only have something like "hair", "eyes", "a face that works", your chances will increase further. And more comfort you will feel, as you know that almost anyone around you could be your future sidekick. You'll learn how to be more open towards others, and possibly make more friends! That dream you had that weighed you down can finally be released.
I can't tell you just how many amazing people I have met because of doing this. I may not have wanted to talk to someone at first, but I did it anyway and found they were genuinely nice people. I was open towards different types of women and ended up realizing that what I thought I did not want, ended up now being a huge possibility. There is much happiness to be gained, and many adventures to go on. Are you ready to open your mind and live?