There are a lot of complexities in today's dating world that lead us to discontentment. We get strong feelings for someone who doesn't return them. We get into a relationship we think is perfect only to see it fall apart. Of course, some get lucky and mutually get "the one" and it lasts. I was never lucky, but recently I've cracked the code to both having a dating life I'm content with and eventually finding the right person.
The thing is, if you're single right now, it's best not to zoom in on one person and become attached to the idea of dating them. Especially if you don't really know them. They might reject you, or if they don't they might be a bad person for you.
The best way to go about is to gradually get to know a variety of people and eventually find out who's good and mutual. We may want "the one" right now, but just as we might work toward a college degree or go to the gym, good effects take time and learning to find. Here's what I experienced when taking this way:
1. Being attached to one person is risky. If they shoot you down you've been set up for disappointment, and even if they don't they might do bad things to you in a relationship (because you didn't get to know them). After getting to know a variety and gradually finding the one that's both good and mutual, this all is avoided
2. You're often more likely to get turned down if you emotionally attach yourself to that one person. Especially if you're a man pursuing a woman: women often need to get to know someone before they can actually be attracted to him (not always, but more often so). If you appear to be attached, she may think you're desperate and not want to deal with it. But if you get to know her gradually first, she may end up admiring the good things about you.
3. Having a lot of friends of the opposite sex (as well as of the same sex) helps A LOT with our confidence when talking to them, and also builds our self esteem as we see that people enjoy our company. This is key in the long run and will make any relationship better.
So, who are you gonna open-mindedly spend time with this weekend? Who's gonna begin the climb of the Everest of relationships with you? Who will be there in the middle and at the top?