Ghosting: Who Does It and Why?

Ghosting: Who does it and why?

Ghosting is defined as: "The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date."

The hope here is that the ghostee will "get the hint" and understand that this person no longer wants to date them, that they will "leave it alone".
And ghosting is done instead of just simply having a conversation and telling this person that they are no longer interested.

Ghosting is not gender specific. Both men and women are known to ghost on one another.

I believe that ghosting has always been around and that it is more prevalent in today's world due to our ability to be connected to anyone instantly. Gone are the days of waiting for phone calls on a corded phone at home. Gone are the days of snail mail. We are able to connect and communicate anywhere, anyhow.

Urban dictionary (as well as other sources) say: "Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels."

I think this defines how mature the ghoster is. Ghosting is confusing and hurtful. It leaves a sense of dread with the ghostee. They'll eventually get over it, but it will always be there when they meet someone new and communication goes quiet. Ghosting is the act of people who are scared, immature, or just simply don't know how to state the truth.

I've been ghosted on numerous times, each time leaving me more confused than anything. Each time makes me a little more cautious and nervous when I meet someone new. It makes one wonder where things went wrong, especially when they thought things were going well.

A few have returned a few months later to apologize, saying they were wrong, and that I didn't deserve to be treated in that way. Then why do it? If no one deserves to be treated in this manner, then why do it?

Honesty and truthfulness will you get your further in life than ignoring someone.

No one deserves to be treated like this. Ever.

Keep that in mind the next time you lose interest and start "ghosting" on someone.


9|4
2036

Most Helpful Guy

  • I have been ghosted once, after a first date that I thought went extremely well, and it was rather unsettling even though we had only gone out together once.

    2|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • People are so afraid to be honest

    3|1
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Join the discussion

What Guys Said 35

  • The only reason why I ghost is if I get the impression that the other partner has lost interest in me or I can tell they are straining to say they dont want to date.

    Let me give you an example. Chic 1-We go out for drinks. She is standoff-ish from the first minute. Is looking at her phone. Starts fake crying about a cancer boy friend. Leaves early after no questions about me. Doesn't call the next day. BOOM! Ghosted.

    Chic 2- Meet girl who is a doctor in a city 2 hours away. Meet her for breakfast. Have a nice conversation Have a good time actually. Texting becomes less frequent. She says her car broke down. BOOM! Ghosted.

    Chic 3- Talk to a girl online for a month or two every day. engage in deep conversation that goes well. Request to meet with her over drinks. Agrees to meet up at a different location. I say I can't because I dont have a car. She makes an excuse to say she can't make the next date arranged. BOOM! ghosted.

    Chic 4- Go on second date with a chic. Chic is acting a intense at dinner. Starts snapping over little stuff. Im turned off. Hug her at the end of the night. She says she will call me. She does not call the next day. BOOM! Ghosted.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Full disclosure. Each of these chics has my number. They can contact me. IF they ever messaged me or responded I would happily talk to them without issue.

  • Bullshit. Some girls are so crazy you don't DARE tell them to get lost. They'll stalk you, stab you, fake pregnancy, show up at your work, embarrass you... and that's just off the top of my head.
    No, if you're done with crazy you just ghost her. You're WAY better off than trying to explain it cuz she'll never understand or get it anyway.

    Your feelings? You'll get over it. It's not the end of the world. [shrug]

    0|4
    1|1
  • Although ghosting is improper, yes, but speaking purely technically, no one owes anyone anything. Especially after cheating, in which case ghosting the cheater is totally justified.

    0|5
    0|0
  • I've only ever been "ghosted' like one time and I gotta say. I just don't care lol. The whole point of dating is finding out who this person is and your chemistry with that person. If they're the type of person to ghost how do you think they'd respond in a relationship when it came time for an argument? You don't want a weak person.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Man or girl up... talk about the issue like an adult (or teenager if you are one) and use mutual respect and then get on with your life.

    2|1
    1|1
  • Yeah it's happened and then you wonder what happened to them, did something horrible happen to them? You always think the worst of things. I never ghosted anyone, I'm usually up front

    2|1
    0|0
  • "Honesty and truthfulness will you get your further in life than ignoring someone. "

    Sounds good, doesn't work.
    In 99% of cases it will get you a toxic entitled response from females who can't handle the notion that their divine greatness is not being adequate for you.
    And that is generally the reason they get ghosted.

    I'm sorry to say, but if you keep getting ghosted then maybe you are the problem.

    0|1
    1|0
    • What's wrong with a toxic response? Break ups are shit. Have some respect to say it's over rather than just disappear. Even if that means you get a "toxic" response, which you're probably getting because you've hurt the girl!

    • @Hayleyaaa What's wrong with a toxic response?
      The fact that most people don't want to listen to it.
      People don't care about your response if they don't want to talk to you anymore.
      And if people don't want to talk to you anymore, it's usually your fault.

    • I mean yeah that's true, if they are choosing to not talk to you they don't want to hear your response and if it's after one date I'm all for the ghosting but if it's after months of dating doesn't that person deserve some respect to hear an I'm sorry at the very least?

  • I did it once to deb moore, and regret it. i did it only to see of she liked me or not. her mom n bro always wanted a ride when i went n seen her n killed r time together. she didn't even call afterwards so i guess i got my answer. it sucked, i was hopin she cared:( I've had it happen to me, not from gfs, but women who had bfs/husbands. i felt/feel like i wasn't even worth a break up conversation to them

    0|0
    0|0
  • This is a thing now? No wonder people are not dating these days.

    3|2
    0|0
  • I will admit i did it before, why? The girl i was talking to was alright when we first started chatting. Then she would repeat herself saying what some guy did to her like 7 times. Told her to keep it between us. Then she kept talking about her school and parents. And if im not kerping the ball rolling she ain't got much to say. She blows up my chat box a lot and misses me and that. But i was bored.

    Some say she was bored with me too. Well she must faked pretty well seeing as she did all she can to not laugh but ended laughing anyway, blowing up phone, and sext every other day.

    So i jus ghosted her. When i think about it its wrong but no buts. I just felt telling her again would result in her just doing it again.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Just like how women love to say they don't owe men anything, men don't owe women anything.

    I don't owe any woman anything, including an explanation of why I don't want any further association with her. If there was some deal-breaker, I don't want her to learn to hide it so that she can secure a chump. And I'll say flat out, telling someone why you don't want anything to do with them is reserved for those you respect. Women aren't worthy of respect. If they ever evolve past the Ice Age, then maybe I'll think about it.

    0|2
    1|0
  • Don't do that. People have feelings and if you just stop talking it's not cool. Start to miss the good times.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Good take. I don't ghost when dating. Then again, I don't date just to date either.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Children do it and it's because society is obsessed with social media.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Yeah this has happened to me a couple of times too.
    I think it's because ghosters are bad people inside.

    0|0
    0|1
  • My thoughts on it are that it isn't going to do any favors to the person doing the ghosting.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'd rather be ghosted 👻 than rejected! Even though it's almost the same thing lol. Because ghosting may mean that he/she may still like you I think.

    0|1
    3|1
    • Ok ok. So Ghosting and rejection are the same exact thing lol.

  • I've known this for a while, but it's time to officially take this phrase out of my rolodex

    0|0
    0|0
  • Great my take. Very true and i like how it calls people out for being cowards.

    0|0
    0|1
  • I ghost girls who don't have sex with me. If you don't want me, I don't want you.

    0|0
    2|0
  • I never done it

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ghosting is fine

    0|1
    2|1
  • Thank you

    0|0
    0|0
  • Everyone has done it.

    0|0
    2|1
  • Men more apparently

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nice Take

    0|0
    0|0
  • Great my take, i like it. Thanks.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have never done this before..

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have not done it before

    0|0
    0|0
  • Reasons why people ghost is that they're often selfish and their top choices aren't giving them attention so they'll talk to people they have little to no interest in until their top choice/s come around to pass the time which is misleading because they shouldn't be even talking to someone they know they have little to no interest in.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Show more from Guys
    5

What Girls Said 19

  • In my experience the guy/girl can not bring themselves to be mindful enough to deal with the emotional repercussions of how the other person might take a form of rejection. So to avoid responsibility of doing the right thing, by being honest, going ghost is easier.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Rejecting someone is difficult for sure, but I always dignify the person w/rejection instead of ghosting. If someone is being creepy, I do start ignoring them, but if the guy has been respectful, I will reject him nicely if I didn't like him. Ghosting is hurtful, you don't have like me, but don't pretend to like me, plan on a 2nd/3rd date, then drop off the face of the earth.

    0|0
    1|0
  • I've been ghosted and I talked it out with significant other. He didn't ghost me because he didn't want to be with me. He told me that wasn't the reason. He wasn't mad or purpsely ignoring me. This article on ghosting is inaccurate because everyone is different. My boyfriend can have introvert tendencies where he doesn't want to talk to anyone. He went a week ignoring everyone. He'd message me once or twice a day. He wanted to be alone or hang with his friends. (btw this is an online relationship) Every one of you are going to be like, "oh he's lying" "oh he's probably cheating on you" here's the thing my boyfriend being an introvert. When he tells me something he means it. Like he told me the other day he's very proud of me because of success at a new job I have. As well as he wanted to punch someone who keeps harassing me. I understand ghosting can be scary, but if your significant other is ghosting you. Talk to them and see why. It may not even be about you. It's probably them. One of the reasons why my relationship has gone well for so long because I tried to meet my boyfriend halfway and try to understand that we are okay and he doesn't want this to end as much as I do. Plus we were best friends before we dated so our relationship is amazing.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I just recently got Ghosted on it's really devastating because you have no idea 💡 You think everything is going swell then one day just like out of nowhere there gone... Anyways I will never do this to someone because it's not a cool feeling 😏

    Preppythoughts 💋

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's the way to go if you're a bitch and can't express yourself.

    1|2
    0|1
  • Ghosting is for cowards. Just man up and say your reason. I won't kill you for it jeez.

    1|1
    0|2
  • I'd never do something like that. It sounds horrible.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I only ever ghosted people when I was in middle school

    0|0
    1|0
  • I ghost guys I haven't spoken to in years and all of a "sudden" want me. Yeah, they deserve it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've not done it before - I'd just tell them straight.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would never do that to someone. So messed up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ass holes because they're ass holes.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Here is why;
    Well honestly, my boyfriend... I would ask him to lick my cooch because I loved it and saw it in porn videos. He would be so hesitant and insist on a shower. He even told me to shave because he doesn't like hair.
    His buddy though eats everything and he even, begs me to lick it. I came back from the gym once, and he licked me right away without ever asking for a shower because he tells me i taste the best... he doesn't care about me shaving and told me that as long as i spread my lips and he can get to the clit that is all that matters
    so i ghosted my boyfriend, because he didn't care about my needs. Amen

    0|0
    1|0
  • Very true. I think in today's society, it is so easy for people to hide behind technology and not confront people face to face. Its just cowardly and a way of avoiding confrontation.

    1|0
    0|0
  • never did it personally

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think some men or women lose interest or were never seriously interested so don't care how the other person feel

    1|0
    0|0
  • Sometimes you just have to cause it's easier

    0|0
    2|1
  • I've never ghosted anyone I've actually dated. However, I have ghosted guys I was sort of friends with who turned out to be really obsessive and/or stalkerish. To me, there's really no need for an explaination there; you have to look out for yourself, especially when you feel like the other person isn't respecting your boundaries and/or violating your personal space.

    Even so, I've also been ghosted myself, more than once, and while the initial rejection did hurt at first, I never felt like I was entitled to an explaination. Especially if I didn't really get to know the other person all that well. People aren't obligated to talk to you, or spare your feelings. Giving you a heads up may be the nice thing to do but again, if a person decides that they don't want to communicate with you, that's just the way is. You have to let it go.

    1|0
    0|2
  • I think most people want closure. However that would not make things much better it someone doesn't want to be with you.

    1|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...