Why it's Okay to Ghost Sometimes

I am a Gemini and sometimes I am 2 people, and my evil twin likes to ghost. I don’t do it intentionally just sometimes I am sick of your shit. I try to be nice let you down gently, but sometimes you keep going and going like the energizer bunny.

While I don’t think ghosting is nice, (I tend to not let the evil twin out of her cage), there are some signs that the person will show, that will give you the all clear to run for the hills, and live your beautiful life as Slimer.

Why it's Okay to Ghost Sometimes

Don’t respect boundaries

When you are interested in someone and you see them as a potential partner, or even just a casual fuck, one of the qualities that starts it all is mutual respect. You make it clear from the beginning but for some ungodly reason they don’t get the idea and keep on placing themselves in your way. You have put your ground rules down, set your boundaries. If they don’t listen, well you can just tell them where to go.

They don’t take no for an answer.

This is pretty self explanatory. No matter how many times you say no, they don’t understand. It doesn’t compute. Its like their brains aren’t wired to understand the word no. In this case… Bye Felicia

Why it's Okay to Ghost Sometimes

Manipulative.

This can mean emotional or mentally. They will make you feel bad for not hanging out with them. “If you really cared for me, and my cousins daughters best friends second birthday party you would accompany to her grandmothers funeral. “Uh no. That is the line – if you really cared for me…

Sorry kid, not gonna work this time.

Why it's Okay to Ghost Sometimes

Being direct won’t work

You can spell it out, or write it on a piece of paper, you can even sign it out for them. Better yet why don’t you splurge and buy a billboard so that they can see it on their way to your work. They will refuse to believe that you mean what you say. Maybe you were just in a bad mod at the time, or maybe for us just girls, we were PMSing. (oh HELLL NAWWW I mean what I say, take it and go.

Why it's Okay to Ghost Sometimes

They make you feel unsafe or uneasy.

For some reason, they give you the heebie jeebies. Its not something you can explain, its just something that seems off about them. I mean what if they’re the next Aileen Wurnos, or Jeffrey Dahmer. If that’s the case abort mission, and take off like Usain Bolt. Adios Muchahos. Its better to be safe than sorry. We don’t want to see you on the 6 o'clock news

Why it's Okay to Ghost Sometimes

Now don’t get me wrong they may not show all the signs, these are just a few. If you’re talking to or seeing someone that are exhibiting these signs, you know what to day.

Stay woke kids


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are one person - not two - and YOU are responsible for all of your actions.

    Most of what you are describing is not ghosting. If you have tried to explain that you don't want to see someone anymore and they don't take "no" for an answer, going no contact is NOT ghosting. No, ghosting is going no contact and disappearing without any warning or explanation. If you have tried to explain and they won't listen, going no contact is not being a bitch; it is just protecting yourself. . . and you have no obligation to hang in there with someone who refuses to accept reality.

    As for true ghosting, it reveals what kind of person YOU are: rather devoid of concern or consideration for anyone else. Anyone who does this - and I hope you are not - is just a little bitch or a little bastard.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • instead of ghosting, why can't you just say something like "I can't make it because of x, y, z (I'm not feeling well... my mom is sick)" you know? Some kind of excuse. You do this often enough and then it will give them the message that you have no time for them and can care less to see them ever again. I think that helps better than ghosting them because that gives them no closure... another way for closure is something like... I'm just not ready to date right now or something like... I'm still figuring myself out and not really ready to give of myself yet.

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    • What i meant was - after you have given them the excuses (see take no for an answer) After you have given them every sign in the book to back the fuck off, and they still dont listen to you. then I said it was acceptable to drop off the face of the earth.
      Last resort - thats all

    • Yeah, that’s not ghosting...

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What Guys Said 46

  • Great Take - this really spoke to me.

    You're not saying just do it because you feel like it, those are five solid reasons, and an objective person wouldn't be able to dispute them.

    To be clear, I think ghosting is a measure of last resort, to get that toxic person gone out of your life, but unfortunately, sometimes you've got to.

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  • Well, I would like to add that TECHNICALLY, no one owes anyone a conversation. Which means, you should be, technically, free to ghost at any time you want.

    Whether that makes you an asshole/bitch or not is a different question though.

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  • This kind of person you mentioned are really unhappily for themselves, deserving to be ghosted, they are a fucking pain in the ass to deal with, better if they wake up about their childish behavior and stop being so invasive.

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  • Only a female would write about ghosting being okay, and only females would be the ones to vote this up most.

    It honestly sounds like you're just creating drastic reasons to justify doing that to somebody.

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    • Please don't put that on a whole gender. I see ghosting as a sign of low character or cowardice

    • @Reach500 The vast majority of people I hear defending or justifying why they ghost somebody are women. So they're the ones who cause themselves to be generalized.

  • Ghosting will only make the situation even more a jellyfish of a mess. Simply tell them to give you a call when they find themselves other wise peace out. And just leave. If they are that toxic that one has to use ghosting as a tactic its often best to just leave. And if they try to make up just tell them you know they aren't ready for the relationship and keep going.

    Ghosting is just honestly a cowards way out. if you want them to change you gotta teach them the hard way.

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  • Didn't feel like reading it yet, but I might later...

    I've only ghosted one girl in my life, and it was because I was totally unattracted to her, meanwhile she's complimenting me on my eyes and how tall I am.

    She tried to resume contact after winter break, and I figured it would be easier on her if I ignored her rather than if I said "I'm not attracted to you." Instead of thinking "I'm ugly, and that's why he doesn't like me," she might be thinking "hmm, maybe he just got a new phone?"

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    • why did you date her in the first place if you felt no attraction?

    • @Reach500 We didn't date. We were friends, but it was painfully obvious that she was into me and I didn't want to friendzone her.

  • I don’t see how your zodiac sign can be used as a valid excuse for your actions

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  • You are fully responsible for your "evil twins" behavior this mytake should be titled "Im incapable of taking responsibility for my ations like a grown-up and I justify anything I do".

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  • I agree, but I rather just block them. If they don't get it after you've told them several times. Then just fk them

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  • Ghosting absolutely drives me insane. I just want to know what I did wrong, and if it is something I could improve.

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  • If you use the fact that the planets were in a certain position as you were born to justify certain shitty actions then you are a shitty person.

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    • I also honk you’ve gotten the defintion of ghosting wrong.

      Poor mytake. 👎

  • The two times I've been ghosted, I know for sure that A, B, C, and D did not happen. It's possible that girls think they're being clear when they're not. I've had one girl once tell me she tried to make it clear that she wasn't into me, but she failed on that front, because I didn't pick up on "hints." Guys never pick up on the hints that girls give. "Clear" means explicitly stating "no, I'm not interested in you." That's a much softer landing than drawing it out over a few weeks.

    This isn't to say that there's no valid reasons to ghost. If a girl was assaulted by a guy, I would say that it's acceptable to ghost at that point.

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  • Ghosting it''s NEVER okay. Do not try to find justifications for the type of person you are.

    "Being direct won’t work" - Generally who say this never had guts to be direct in their life.

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  • I recently had to ghost some people out of my life like this. I hated it, it didn't bring me joy, but everything else going on rendered my other options impossible.

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  • I'm sorry but I couldn't take this seriously when you brought up your zodiac sign.

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  • Yoi are gemini and you are an idiot for believing in cause of ghosting being gemini.

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  • If I ever did it, it would be the same as blocking someone. “Stop bugging me!”

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  • For me is not ok. Ghosting someone is having a week character, and not been direct or honest with what you feel and what you do.

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  • Yeah, these are good reasons for ghosting, especially with someone who doesn't get it.

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  • There's a difference between ignoring, ghosting, and well your take.. You make both the latter seem quite comfortable.

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What Girls Said 51

  • These are all great reasons to stay away from someone. I don't see what's evil about it. If they show such little respect, why should you validate them by sticking around?

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  • stay woke lol

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  • So very true.

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  • Ox/cam definition:
    “The practice of Ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without warning withdrawing all communication”

    Nothing you’ve said there describes ghosting, at all. If you have told someone whatever you had is done and they won’t get it, you’ve told them you’ve ended it, you aren’t ending it by just cutting off without telling them.

    Some of the advice you’ve given is actually dangerous. If someone is manipulative, dangerous, doesn’t take no for an answer (certainly across some things, not all) or makes you feel uneasy and threatened, you SHOULD tell them no/you’re done in writing, and then cut off contact and not communicate anymore, as this protects you from a legal standpoint if they cause a risk to you/end up causing a risk to you.

    Ghosting actually isn’t better off, ever- you can’t exoect someone to “get the message” when you’ve not given them a message!

    And Gemini? What time of year your mother pushed you out doesn’t mean you have an excuse to be a douche.

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  • I agree with some of what you dated. If a person is manipulating me , disloyal , or lying to me, I just cut them off. Not everyone deserves an explanation. It doesn't make you a bad person for ignoring a person who is a bad person

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  • While I agree with what you're saying, I don't consider what you dewscribed as ghosting. Because in your scenarios you do let them know what the deal is and *then* stop replying.

    To me, ghosting is when someone suddenly stops replying without any heads-up whatsoever.

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  • I agree expect the last one, sometimes people don't know if they are coming across as creepy or maybe you just don't click with their personality. If personalities is clashing then its best to tell that person that your personalities don't align. Now if they start doing creepy things.. then yeah lol

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  • All the reasons listed above are legit reason to cut someone out of your life.. I believe that you should let the person know tho.. Ghosting someone is childish and immature in my opinion.. You don't have to keep negativity of any kind around you but if you ever considered them to be your friend or family then you owe them at the very least a heads up that they have gone to far and they can either correct it or be removed from your life

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  • I've done this once. *tried* to do this once

    I ended up having to block his number because he would not leave me alone. At all. kept talking about my eyes and how much he would love to be my boyfriend.. yep nope creeping me out buddy

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  • Ghosting can be a bit much but I understand what you mean. It will only solve the problem in the short term not the long term. It's best to just talk it out and if they still don't get it just be casual and go about your day. Life is too short.

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  • I'm old fashioned and wondering what is considered as "ghosting"? like when someone is annoying the shit out of you and you just disappear on them without a word?

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    • I think that's right.

    • @bekalen I think so too lol. If so, then I've done that plenty of times because if I stuck around, I'd probably end up saying things that I really don't want to.

      One guy kept talking to me about sexual things and asking me personal questions, so I ghosted him without feeling bad about it. He deserved it.

  • I am a Sagittarius so being honest is a major thing for me, if a person is ghosting me for no reason then I expect a goddamn reason because it is unfair on the person if you're not giving them a reason.

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  • In the end the person won't have anything against you thats been said and it makes it easier to accept cause talk8ng to them gives them a little hope and thats cruel

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  • Ghosting is never okay. And you are ONE person, NOT two

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  • If y li have tried explaining to them that you want space or to be left alone, then when you do just cut contact it's not considered ghosting. The other situations I can agree with.

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  • I guess I agree. then again, why would you start talking to people like that in first place? try connecting with a better crowd and maybe you dont need to have bad behaviors again.

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  • I really don't think ghosting is ok...
    You've no idea how it feels on the other end.

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  • A person who won't accept a breakup is different then one who has been ghosted. I necer puahed my last partner. He invited me to a huge event, said he cared about me unsolicited and then never called me again. I kindly sent a simple text. "Havent heard from you. Ok?" People lose their contacts. Sent another simple text a WEEK later, because sometime people need space. And a week later i called... nada. After 4 months of exclusive dating he acted like an asshole. That is wrong. I never yelled, cried, accused, manipulated. I did however deserve a "hey, this isn't really working out for me...". That is what a real man does.

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  • The ghost in you is that you are not a Gemini but a Taurus. Probably. Likely. Most likely. 😧

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  • I don't know how the kids work these days but if you tell them no before you block them is it still ghosting?

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