There could be several reasons why you are reading this MyTake. Maybe you have considered ghosting, maybe you are in the middle of it as you are reading this or maybe you are just curious. But, I`m pretty sure the majority of you guys have experienced ghosting both directly and indirectly. Has it happened to you? Perhaps someone you know? Regardless of your situation, I hope this MyTake can guide you to the right answer.
Before we get started: do not be too hard on yourself.
If you have ghosted someone as I have, I`m sure you feel or felt bad. I have just realized that the past cannot be changed, and it will all work out eventually for everybody. No one is perfect, and if you have ghosted someone once, pick yourself up and learn from your mistakes.
Let`s jump right in!
1. If your intentions were good (sometimes they are!), you most likely will regret that you did it.
I know it could be hard to understand, but my intentions were good (still, I have no idea why I did it like that) when I ghosted my ex. Our relationship was hell, and towards the end, I was feeling alone, scared, anxious and neglected. He was leaving our problems alone and he wasn`t understanding how I was feeling. Breaking up was out of the question for him, but I felt like he could be happier in a relationship that was not with me.
Even though our relationship ended really badly, I still regret that I ghosted him. I only did it impulsively, and I felt like it was the only thing to do at that moment. Now I realize of course, that it was not the only thing to do. I was just immature, and I had never had a real relationship before.
2. You give the person you ghost unnecessary reasons to dislike/hate you.
When you leave someone in the dark, it doesn`t matter to them at all if your intentions were good or bad. They only know one thing: you are a traitor, and they were wrong about you. However, it might be really hard for you and maybe you even have a really good reason to ghost them, but it puts you in an unnecessarily negative light. The reason I say this is because you might not have wanted to hurt them intentionally. It was something you did because it was the best thing for you.
3. It haunts you.
Again, no matter the actual motivation and reason to do this, your actions will haunt you in the future. It`s like a scratch; it feels good for a moment but it will start to burn. I strongly recommend that you find other ways to remove someone from your life.
4. It makes it harder for the other person to get over you.
Obviously, when you ghost someone you do not wish to see them or hear from them. Either they did something that triggered you, or the relationship between you overall was not to your liking. No matter what it is, I`m pretty sure you would want them to get over you ASAP (or you don`t care). Well, ghosting someone will make it worse for them. They will keep asking themselves what the hell went wrong, who should really be blamed and how long you considered wiping them from your life. If you want to prove a point, tell them what happened. Or else you will not be able to prove it.
5. You lose chances to ever speak to them again.
Ghosting is probably the lowest thing you can do to someone in any kind of relationship. Usually, it`s normal to catch up with an ex further down the road when both of you have gotten over it. No hard feelings, right? You might want to reconsider that possibility for you. The person will probably always (or for a very long time) think badly of you, and there is nothing you can do unless they come to you (which is very unlikely). If you think this is a person you want to keep in your life but not so close, do not ghost them.
6. Most of the time, you cannot apologize no matter how much you want to.
This is similar to point #5. Still, apologizing is a big part of parting ways with another person, and it is important if you want to have a neutral relationship with them. By ghosting someone you pretty much lose the chance to decide if you want to apologize or not. As for me, I have wanted to apologize since we broke up, but I have accepted the fact that I did something terrible and I will leave it alone. Still, it kills me because I don`t want to be a terrible person. Also, when you apologize, it will mean very little to nothing.
7. It gets you into bad habits and teaches the wrong lessons of life.
In life, no matter how difficult the problem is, you cannot just escape them. If you do, it definitely should not be easy. If you can escape something easily, something is terribly wrong. The right way to deal with difficult situations is to think them over and discuss them with the people involved. Easy solutions are ALWAYS temporary, and it gets you into bad habits. It feels good to just escape everything, but when you do it, you realize really soon that it was not such a good idea after all. However, it is the only way you know how to deal with things and you find yourself stuck.
8. Overall, it is just a really sad thing to do.
For everyone. It is sad for you because ghosting seemed like the only way out. It is sad for the others because they will never know what really happened, and maybe they really liked you. Try to remember that there are other options! If you do not know what to do, there are always people around who can help. I hope for others that they avoid making the same mistakes I did. I sure learned from them.