Why a Woman Rejects a Man

You're-probably-a-lesbian, and other falsehoods.

When I was single, sometimes men had laid out their charm, hoping I’d pick up on it or be flattered. When I didn’t give them the response they wanted, I discovered that rejection is just not an easy thing for some people. So badly, the guy felt the need to insult me just to "get me back" for rejecting him. I was sometimes accused of being a certain way, or feeling a certain way in order for the man to justify why it’s surely not them, it’s me.

Here are some of the ridiculous verbal spankings I’ve received that weren’t true:

Why a Woman Rejects a Man

“Oh, I understand. You must be a lesbian, then?”

Newsflash: just because a woman isn’t interested in you doesn’t mean she’s a lesbian. For a man to think he is just so great that she could only be declining because she has no interest in all men is going to find there are an awful lot of lesbians out there. No one should be this conceited to think he is at the top of the heap as far as men goes, and the only way to not be attracted to him is because to her: all men are not attractive. The conceit proves that she just made the right decision. By the way, being a lesbian is not an insult per sé - but as a straight woman, it's a falsehood that doesn't need to be assumed.

Why a Woman Rejects a Man

“You just don’t like me because I’m too ugly for you, right?”

Wrong. It doesn’t explain how so many "unattractive" men have wives and girlfriends. I myself have dated men traditionally unattractive because I simply have different taste in men. I’ve turned down big guys if they also have big mouths. If a man wants to believe the woman is shallow rather than look in to a deeper issue of what might have turned her off (in my case with said-guy, his boorish and bullying behaviour), he will use this crutch on every woman to remain in denial.

“You’re a bitch. No wonder you’re single.”

For not giving you my number and simply not allowing our interaction to get to the next level? That’s right. I must be a bitch. You asked for my number, and I just said no. How awful of me for not providing you my direct contact information, therefore exposing a personal part of me to you, opening me up to hate-text messages and phone calls if things go badly. I should have been flattered and given you my number out of thanks. I should have seen your efforts of simply asking, and given it to you out of pity. Had I done that, I surely would have been a bitch then too.

Saying no doesn't automatically make the woman a bitch. Sure, if she's actually being scornful, insulting, making fun of you and that sort of thing - then yes, she's shown her colours - be glad she turned you down. But for just turning you down? Give her a break. You might be surprised by her reasons, and saying no up front can be just as courageous than to feel obligated only having to tell you later she wasn't interested.

Why a Woman Rejects a Man

So let's presume that yes, the women you're trying to ask out are heterosexual, they might turn you or another guy down because of her own personal reasons and preferences. Sometimes, yes, it is the guy.

Here are 10 typical reasons if it’s personal for her:

1. She’s got a boyfriend/husband.

2. She’s single, but pursuing someone else.

3. She’s afraid of revealing something she's ashamed of or will be judged for.

4. She just got out of a relationship, and wants to be alone for a while.

5. She’s inexperienced and not ready for dating.

6. Her religion prohibits dating, or dating you depending on your faith.

7. Being alone at this time in her life is golden.

8. Her therapist or AA counselor has suggested she remain single for a while.

9. She’s a single mother, and is selective about her future.

10. She has a life-commitment such as work or a move coming up, preventing her from starting a relationship.

Sometimes, yep – it’s the guy. Here are 10 possible reasons:

1. You remind her of someone else, possibly an ex or someone she dislikes.

2. You appeal to her, but you might have said the wrong things.

3. Your first-impression hygiene or appearance is off-putting.

4. Your name is also her dad’s name. (Makes calling out your name during sex just terrible.)

5. You’re with idiot friends, and she wants no part of your social circle.

6. If she saw that you just hit on another girl before her, she doesn’t want to be second-choice.

7. She thinks you just moved on her too quickly.

8. You talked all about you, complained about your ex, and didn’t even ask her a question about her.

9. She found you/added you on social media and didn’t like what she saw.

10. You’re not her type. Period.

Why a Woman Rejects a Man

I hope this clears up some doubt for some guys wondering why, if they’re seemingly so awesome, why a woman doesn’t want anything to do with them. It’s not meant to make men feel worse, but to try to understand why your wonderfulness wasn’t enough for a woman to act on.

(Once I turned a guy down who asked me on a date for the simple fact that he looked almost identical to my brother. Do you know how disgusting of a thought that was for me? Here was this otherwise great guy, who I know would be perfect for another girl – but if I was physically sick thinking of what it would be like to kiss him, what sort of future would we have? ...I had to turn him down.)

Sometimes, it's just for the best.

Thanks for reading!

Auntie Ozanne

Ozanne is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
Who are Editors?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Niece Ozanne :)

    When I was younger, I got depressed every time I got rejected. I didn't get mad. I finally realized that this rejection did not mean that I would never again have a girlfriend. I also realized that if this girl really did not want to be with me, being forced to spend time together would probably be painful for both of us.

    So I stopped caring about rejection. When I did that, I guess I developed some confidence that became obvious, and I got rejected much less than before. So just accept it, because

    1. even the quarterback on the football team gets rejected, and
    2. there is somebody out there for everyone. So stop caring about the rejections and ask more girls. Kiss enough frogs and you will find your princess.

    Uncle OAW


Most Helpful Girl

  • Gave you a definite thumbs up on this one. I wrote a similar mytake a while back about an encounter I had being called a b*tch, in a library of all places, because all I said after being asked out by this random guy, was I'm flattered, but I'm sorry I'm just not interested. Literally a couple of the comments in response were like, it's girls like you, or you are a b*tch, or you're why men shouldn't date or ask out.

    Rolling my eyes. As you said, there are many reasons for a rejection and just b/c a guy asks does not mean, you are obligated to say yes because he put in an effort. Everyone has their own standards and reasons for not wanting to go out or ask someone out including men. Rejection sucks, it does, but it's a part of life until you find that someone you like and that likes you back. Well done.

    • I get it when women are hard on someone for getting a negative reaction. I understand. But yeah, just plain and simple saying no shouldn't get someone to go ape-shit. One time I got approached to dance at a pub and I said no. Reason? - as if I need to give one - I don't dance very well, plus I'm busy chatting with some friends. Not interested. This guy went back to his group of "friends" and the lone female in the group came over to me very threateningly, telling me that I had turned down her brother, and demanded that I come over there and give him an thank you and an apology. I'm like, oh fuck off, seriously. Big sister protecting little brother, I guess. I did nothing wrong, told her that I don't owe anyone anything, and to leave me alone. But it didn't end there. During the entire night, the group of "friends" including the sister made comments to me, about me, and others as people walked by, basically shaming and bullying me until I left the pub. All for what? LOL

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    • Definitely agree with that sentiment. Perhaps you should have said, you know, actually, can you ask your brother to come over and apologize for interrupting my good time with my friends, and while that girl was standing there, she too should have apologized for barging back over and demanding you say something to him, lol!

      I also might add that a guy may be rejected because of the situation or wrong place/time, but if he's polite, say you saw him again somewhere and the situation was different, you may be receptive to his advance, but if at the time he approached, stuff like this happens, why on earth would you ever consider him for any reason ever again, especially like in my case, where the guy called me a b*tch? That's a no win situation. Oh, and don't get me started on power issues and weak men. Thankfully the majority that do the asking, at least for me, don't fall into that pathetic category, but the ones that do, it's like seek out some therapy... please.

    • Thank you :)

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What Guys Said 68

  • I think the biggest issue is that women tend to take pride in having rejected men, as well as bragging about all the guys they've turned down, and they also enjoy how there are guys who are bothered by it. Women pretend that rejecting men is just as messy and painful for them as it is for the guy, when they really get a kick out of saying they rejected men.

    So I think the bigger ego is with them more than it is with men who think they shouldn't be shot down.

    • Lol as a woman I know this is sooooo wrong. My friends and I always feel so bad and guilty when we turn a guy down, but it's better to do that then lead a guy on. Turning a guy down is in no way a prideful feeling.

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    • @rjroy3 Yep, you got it spot on. Very explained, man. Very well.

    • @rjroy3 I always take pride in turning women down. Because I don't need a woman to be happy I can easily turn women down and I love hurting their ego.

  • When I saw the title of this piece, I braced myself for another delusional female rant.
    I was surprised to find that I understood and agreed with the points that were expressed by @Ozanne.
    I must point out, though, that when I was younger most of the rejections that I received were what she described as "scornful, insulting, making fun of you. . ."
    What I find fascinating about rejection by females is the way that there is a 180 degree shift in demonstrated female group preference about the age of 30.
    After 15 years of being rejected so savagely that I learned to count as a success any conversation with a female that did not involve her uttering the words 'fuck off', or 'fuck off, you freak', I found that women began to pursue me after they and I were on the wrong side of 30.
    I did not understand this, until years later when I read about the bad boy phase, the cock carousel and how, when women were confronted by the wall, they defaulted to the good men (I hate that term) who were of no interest while the women were being fucked by conga lines of bad boys.
    Everyone has an absolute right to pick the company they choose to keep, but women should be aware that it is not possible for intelligent men to observe girl after girl say no them, then bounce from one bad boy to another and one heartbreak to another, without forming an unflattering opinion of the female cognitive process.
    Some years ago I gave up on women completely and abandoned all hope of finding what I wanted when I was young and naive, which was that one special woman to love.
    For almost three decades, women have made moves on me with a frequency that younger men would not believe.
    Interaction with females when I was young and naive has left me too scarred to be open to those approaches.
    A wall goes up in my mind and I see the faces and hear the voices of the young women who told me to 'fuck off' so long ago. The rogues gallery includes a couple of females who broke my heart rather savagely.
    I would have been 'too boring' for these women when they were 20, but now they are so interested that they make the first move.
    Divorce statistics show that at least half of the women are motivated by a desire to get their claws into my assets. At my age, that is a risk that I cannot afford to take.
    My view is that the mature-age women some sniffing around can go back to the bad boys who gave them the crotch tingles when they were 20. They deserve each other.

  • Not to be a jerk or anything... but who cares?

    We all reject people - it's a normal part of life.

    I kind of have the feeling that whoever wrote this is incredibly insecure about SOMETHING ELSE and thinks that taking it out on some guy who asked her for her number at a bar (then forgot about her the day after) will make her feel better.

  • "6. If she saw that you just hit on another girl before her, she doesn’t want to be second-choice."

    Talk about special snowflake syndrome!

    Men of the world, disregard this stupid ass reason for being rejected by a girl.

    Yes there are other women around the vicinity, and it may not be 'she's better looking than me'. It can be a simple case of "I saw her first before I saw you".

    So if a man is a social setting, he's supposed to approach just one woman for the entire outing? 😂

    • Lol that's a really good point and one of the reasons I don't bother with bars (aside from drinking with co-workers). I've definitely had this happen to me in my younger years... and yes... apparently I quite literally am supposed to approach just one person.

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    • @10dsw whats wrong with it is that it will still end up like your 3 failed relationships, it ends and goes no where.

    • @BrittBratt2416 ... but he has more experience dating, he will know to better court and woo a woman, and he will better know what qualities he wants in a woman.

  • The very first thing that people should say when they reject someone is a truthful and proper explanation, if someone does not give an explanation for the rejection or gives an untruthful one simply because they don't want to hurt the other person's feelings, then they get very little to no respect from me. I asked this girl out once, and she told me no and that she had a boyfriend (which I found out a few days latter from one of her friends who was a mutual friend, that she didn't, and she didn't find me attractive) the same girl who rejected me approached me after that, and said that I was a good man and that despite her rejection of me she still wanted to be friends, and knowing that she lied to prevent my feelings from being hurt (which the lying actually hurt my feelings, not the fact that she found me unattractive), I told her that I had no respect for her, and I did not want a friendship, and I told her to have a nice day; she felt bad and tried to apologize, but she should not have lied, I have zero sympathy for people who are dishonest, even for good intentions. When you reject someone, you should always give them an explanation and tell them the truth. PERIOD.

    I do agree with most of these however, and I vehemently believe that people should not hurt others with the pain of rejection simply because of a selfish reason. Being rejected hurts and is hard, but causing that pain (especially without a truthful and proper explanation) because of something selfish is wrong in my opinion. That being said, I do not believe that you should accept every request, but just be honest and give an explanation, and it should lessen the pain.

    If someone is rejected for any reason, they should not be an asshole/bitch about it, to the other person, accept the fact that they are not ready and/or they do not find you attractive and move on. If they found you hygene appalling, then that is something you should work on.

    • Well said... well said agreed to everything you said man.

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    • @Prof_Don I am sorry if I sound cold and callous, that is how I feel.

    • Not cold and callous.. just refreshingly truthful. I am just like you in that regard; it infuriates that some girl stereotypes me to be in that fuckboy category.

  • Good take, I just wish women would understand that we reject them too because of the same reasons.

    I have to point out that number 4 of the guy's reasons is absolutely... well retarded, no mother word for it.

  • I'm sorry that so many guys out there are pussies who can't handle social interactions with women. Women shouldn't be assholes, but they need to have the right to choose freely who they want. When guys pull this shit it just makes women cynical and skeptical, and it makes it harder for guys like me who are doing it the right way.

  • What I find baffling is that people take rejection as a personal matter rather than a chance to learn.

    I had been rejected 4 times before I got my first girlfriend. Every single one of those experiences made me the person I am today.

    Quite frankly, one should be thankful when they've gotten rejected upfront, rather than being led on and toyed with.

  • Hehe..

    I don't wish to come across as arrogant, and whilst the list of reasons for genuine (?) rejections seem *OK*, I think what is forgotten here (unless I've misread) is also the factor of women's' own personal insecurities as a factor into why they "reject" fellas.

    Now I'm the kinda guy thats used to getting his own way, for the most part, but there was this one shy gal who used to flirt a bit, we didn't really speak but "clicked" in a way. So I eventually just cold approach, not too cocky but definitely with a "jack the lad" vibe - as I usually would. She smiles intently, looking pleased at the proposition, but apparently "rejects" by using the old addage of "my boyfriend"...

    So like any confident but decent fella, I shrug it off with a smile and "what a shame" haha. But... 3/4 months later, bump into each other again... And she decides to start lay down some flirting again, more intent than last time...

    Anyways.. Point is some chicks also "reject" fellas they actually wanna hump too. Whether they do have boyfriends or not really isn't an issue, for if they were happy in their current rs, they wouldn't be "feeling" elsewhere.. Catch my drift? Equally sometimes its just a childish defence mechanism, due to inexperience and/or immaturity. For the more devious types who don't think they're good enough for such a handsome beast, they'd rather take more pride in tearing the fella down than embarrassing themselves..

  • If I get rejected, I just assume I am not good enough for her...
    No need for fancy explanations like she being a lesbian just to protect my self-esteem.

  • That's a nice thesis, but what if she claims to hate people yet she is always talking it up and laughing with people. All her friends are guys, my thesis on this is either she's a whore, or her father never showed her any love and she's looking for some male attention to make up for it. Don't think she's a who're because every guy they asks her to hang out she always says she will but then she never does.

  • Rejection is fine, guys/girls shouldn't get annoyed at the person about it.
    I'd think girls are more upset by rejection because they wouldn't be used to it.

    Unless the person rejecting them is a total ass about it, then I could understand them calling that person a bitch.

  • Whatever a girl's reason is for rejection, can all be summarized into just not interested. No reason to investigate why.

    I'm more concerned of a girl leads me on. That's when it's a problem.

  • Often women just reject initially as an opening test. Sometimes you can get past it if you take it playfully, turn it on her, and progress on the subject/change the subject. Any man that insults a woman that rejects him is both out of line and out of touch. There are other ways less brash ways to save face if you have to do so.

    • "Often women just reject initially as an opening test. Sometimes you can get past it if you take it playfully, turn it on her, and progress on the subject/change the subject." That is the stupidest, most manipulative thing I have ever heard.

    • @TooskilledforU It's true. Go to a club and women will throw out the 'I'm a lesbian/have a boyfriend line' so unconfident guys will walk away but confident guys will be unaffected, hold their ground and continue to talk to her as they believe they are worth her attention. She's screening for quality guys given she'll get approached every 5-10 mins in that environment.

    • @MusicMayhem I have no doubt that it is true, I just think it is ridiculous.

  • My advice for guys is stop overthinking it. She likes you or she doesn't. If she doesn't, screw it she is totally replaceable.

  • Men that get their little feelings hurt because a woman has rejected them need their butts kick.

    She it hurts the ego, but for goodness sake you're not 10 years old anymore.

    Move on and just find another chick.

  • One thing I learned is that women love to make you think they reject a lot of guys and just can't get rid of them. It's their way of saying "look at me, I'm so desirable that I can't beat them off with a stick."

    And it's not just you they want to think that, it's themselves. They gloss over their insecurity by deluding themselves into thinking they are some kind of man magnet and just can't stop those incessant men from approaching them with desperation. They fantasize about guys tripping over each other just to get on the line so they too can be "rejected" when their turn arrives.

    Rejection is a badge of honor for a lot of women.

    Get over yourselves. There are so many hot chicks out there no one needs you. They are a dime a dozen.

    • Yeah that's pretty much the same thing I was trying to say but I think you did it better.

    • True. But again, why generalize? You people are obviously looking for the wrong reasons if these are the only type of women you encountered. Just like there are stuck up, sexist men in the world, there are also stuck up, sexist women. But just like there are good men in the world, there are also good women. Maybe you're the one who should get over yourself?

  • 1. they are liars and won't just tell the truth which would be much more respectable.
    I don't see why they couldn't just say not her type, in a relationship, interested in someone else already, or whatever. The name being the same as a parent's name is a completely understandable reason too, so are some others. I don't see why people aren't more honest.

  • The problem is that women today are just too fussy and have insane, unrealistic standards. Women today are just not worth the hassle. Let the muslims have them.

    • My life philosophy: men are stupid, but women are crazy. But not all of us are high-maintenance. And sometimes, you just gotta give us some time to grow up, too. Don't generalize based on your bad experiences.

    • @Thatonegirl_99 I've heard it all before. Women are both stupid and crazy. They have destroyed marriage and family and it's much better for men to go their own way and let women rot.

    • Women need not have high standards to reject egomaniacs.

  • I'm fine with being rejected I have no problem with that, but one thing I can't stand is when women on here wonder why they get rejected and think that it can never be because the guy just didn't find her attractive. Also how ugly women on here or over weight women expect to not lower standards and get the same level of attractive guy as a woman who is like model level. Thanks for the insight though its interesting to get advice from an older women since they usually tell it how it is and don't give any bullshit answers. As bad as us guys are at handling rejection I still believe women are worse at handling. This is just form what I've seen personally and experienced. This is why being yourself holds so true and is so important. Most of those things you mentioned guys aren't physic and can't control so just be yourself and eventually if your lucky enough the right woman will come to you.

    • Big girls sometimes crack me up. My old roommate was about 30 lbs overweight. After moving and having some conversation with some friends and few drinks I asked her if she had boyfriend and she responded that "she was really picky". She also said rude shit one time about me "getting shoved into the friend zone" because I was too nice. Then about about 6 months later I got a steady girlfriend who sometimes came over weekends (who was thin and pretty). She never said a word to her and one time slammed the door when she came home and saw us laying on the sofa & watching a movie.

      The fact she got angry/jealous was entertaining. I remember looking her and thinking "now who's getting shoved into the friend zone fatty...".

      Anyway I don't usually rip on heavy people, unless they do something to piss me off. That "friend zone' comment was below the belt and I felt great to shove it back in her face.

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    • Fat girls get much more leeway for one huge reason (no pun intended): political correctness. Seriously how many attractive women do you see at a "women's" rally?

      With that all said I have met some really nice, cool and fun big girls. In fact I'm guilty of chubby chasing on a few isolated drunken incidents. Like my old college buddy once said "fat girls are like mopeds. They are fun to ride on but you never want to get caught on one..."

      Anyway when it comes to their personality its really a 50/50 split. They are either really cool/fun or delusional, loud miserable cunts. I have yet to meet a big girl who is in between. But the fact the shitty ones can abuse PC protection to justify verbally abusing & bullying other women and men is complete and utter bullshit.

    • @somewheresomeway Hhaha lmao your friend's analogy was perfect XD.

  • More from Guys

What Girls Said 25

  • This is a great myTake! Rejection is hard but if a man responds by insulting you, then clearly you made the right decision.

  • I agree with the reason your listed but you also forgot another reason why a man or woman may reject someone: They don't find them physically attractive. Some times there are no other reasons and is the sole purpose why someone may reject someone, which pretty much falls under number 10. Not my type. I know this is true cause growing up I had a lot of crushes on guys but my main crush was a boy named Danny from elementary all the way up middle. It wasn't cause he wasn't ready to date, or the fact my names Brittany, or had a girlfriend, etc. It was because he just didn't find me attractive enough to pursue me. He went out with almost every girl I knew around me but not once came my way even though he knew I like him, and that was before he even had girlfriends. So yes you have to take physical attractiveness as a reason why people reject others, I know its shallow and seems like an asshole thing to do ( cause truthfully it is) but that's how things work in our society and there's not much you can do to change it. It is what it is.

  • I like this take, but, it's still based on a false premise — specifically, the idea that there even needs to be a "why" for rejection AT ALL. That's... just not a thing.

    ··•• Rejection doesn't NEED a reason... because REJECTION IS THE DEFAULT. ••··

    What DOES need a reason... is... saying YES to someone. And/or actually giving them some kind of window of opportunity.


    I mean... would you ask someone why she/he DIDN'T buy some random piece of clothing at the mall (especially if she/he wasn't even there to shop for clothes)?
    Or why she/he DIDN'T stop at some random restaurant on the way home?
    Etc etc?

    ... well, no, of course you wouldn't, because those would be positively ridiculous questions. When you go to the mall, you DON'T buy 99.9999 percent of the items for sale. Every time you walk or drive home, you PASS UP 99.99 percent of restaurants/businesses along the route. And so on.
    The whole question of "why WOULDN'T you" or "why DIDN'T you" is fundamentally nonsense. That's what you do **as a baseline**... and then, if you DO decide to buy that shirt, or if you DO decide to stop at that restaurant, **THAT** is when you have "reasons".


    And it's INCREDIBLY presumptuous of **anyone** -- man or woman -- to demand a concrete "reason" or "explanation" for it.

  • you know... i've never had this problem. guys always seem to accept rejection from me gracefully. i'm guessing that it probably has something to do with how i am respectful honest and allow the man to retreat with his dignity. i've never met a man who truly felt good about being an asshole. men become jerks when you piss all over the courage they had to muster up just to approach you. if a guy asks you out it's a compliment. but some women just see it as another annoyance to be swatted away like a fly. men pick up on that even if you don't overtly say anything offensive. some women need to learn to just stuff their emotions like a tampon- smile and behave gracefully. i've had men tell me they felt better about being rejected by me than accepted by another girl.

    • I'm glad this has been your experience, but there are some guys that aren't as nice about being turned down. Most guys I've come across are nice when I reject their advances, but a few have been disrespectful. Just because it hasn't happened to you, doesn't mean it hasn't happened to others even if they've been polite.

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    • also- simply not replying is the internet default right now. if they can't handle that then they shouldn't be online. but sometimes i haven't replied because i'm talking to someone else. but if it doesn't work out i don't want to say that i'm not interested in the other guy. but if you tell them that you're talking to someone else then they get pissy. guys are babies sometimes. you just have to deal with it.

    • @KaseyRouqe when they get like that it's best to not reply to them anymore. most likely there's something going on in his own head that is bothering him and sometimes men use women like a sport to build their self esteem. if he can hit on you and get a good response then he feels better about himself. in that situation (which is an exception) it's not about you, it's about himself. and if he already feels crappy and then you try to come back after he says something mean that will antagonize him more. it's best to let him have the last word and realize he's probably having a much worse day than you. and again- when he thinks back on his actions he probably will not be proud of that. so that goes back to what i said about never meeting a guy who genuinely feels good about being a jerk.

  • I've been called a bitch and told that I think too high of myself :/ I simply said no (repeatedly) and I wasn't rude or anything
    it's not my fault if the guy is frustrated or had a bad night, if I answer respectfully there's no reason to insult me

  • Here are my 5 reasons for turning down a guy:

    1. I'm a lesbian
    2. I'm not attracted to men
    3. I have a girlfriend
    4. I would like to marry said girlfriend
    5. I've had enough guys ask me out to the point that I don't care anymore.

  • I've was once asked by an older women if i was a lesbian just because i didn't have a boyfriend -_- people need to stop with that crap.
    This is a great take

  • The amount of times I've heard the "oh, are you a lesbian maybe?" thing, lost count honestly.
    The arrogance is unreal.

    • Do you want men to initiate or do you step up to the guys you like and ask them out.
      No, I am not saying that being that foul is warranted by anyone. But I am genuinely curious if you expect men to come to you or if you are the initiator too.

    • @Savreth I've been the initiator several times, pretty common for me to be the first to ask for their number too (if I'm interested in him obviously). Or I'll ask a friend of mine to introduce them to me if they already know the guy. No expectations to have him come up to me even if I prefer it.

    • That's fair.
      I had to ask because there are quite a few women who expect to be woo'd off their feet and then get offended when the rejection that men face constantly, gets them annoyed.

  • I really don't get the point of why we even need to explain to boys why we reject them? Why should I accept someone I don't want to be in a relationship with? The world is pretty effd up, with boys still believing that women are meant to be up for their pleasure all the time.

    Great post, though! I myself am a social person yet maintain some distance with men because I'm religious, some good are like "but talking to me does no harm" I didn't say it does. But it's out of my comfort zone.

  • I've met guys who are perfectly nice people just not for me

  • Oh my gosh almost every guy I have rejected has said some variation of this!

    “You just don’t like me because I’m too ugly for you, right?”

    Low key calling you shallow and trying to make you feel guilty.

    • I honestly don't think they are calling you shallow. I did ask this to the first girl who ever rejected me (I was young and didn't know better and it stung more because it was the first time). I asked her tho because I was left just wondering why did she reject. She didn't give me a reason why. I just wanted something to give me closure on why. Having a reason gives you something you can maybe work on. And looks is a valid reason to turn someone down, if you aren't into them and all. Plus you also kind of believe it yourself as a guy. I mean your self esteem just took a big blow so you honestly do feel like you're to ugly for her.

  • Great take, I have turned a very great guy down because I'd just got out of a bad relationship and wanted to be alone for a while. He would otherwise be perfect for me, a dream come true but not at that moment. I do realize that men take rejection hard and might assume the worst, yes it might be you, but it could also be me.
    Another really hot one I wanted to hump so bad, said too many stupid shit, so I didn't give him any and placed him on speaker phone so everyone could hear him cock-block himself.

  • Or it could simply be that we aren't looking for a relationship at the time. There's no excuse needed.

  • Either he lives with his mom, low testosterone, small peeter, aggressive, possessive boyfriend stereotype, girly, or just has no money.

    • How do you know a man has low testosterone? No facial hair? Girly voice?

    • @MrMysteryMan Low muscle mass.. Interest in yoga, better fathering to children, low sperm count.. and yes, girly voice.

    • LOL. I agree with most of these points. But, you don't want a good father to your children? Also, a shitty father is a prime example to having high testosterone? I see... So fathers who could care less for their child is what you're looking for eventually?

  • All these excuses are ok but if I tell a guy I wouldn't go out with him because he's bisexual... people lose their minds.

  • You'll never know the real reason. It could be anything

  • When one is new in what is related to dates and romantic relationships, one can be either insecure, stubborn, imbecile or all of them.

    When one says no I don't want to be with you, one has to accept it and move on. Or maybe they can't recognize the indirect about I don't like you or I don't love you, and they look for excuses to "make things work", or how to "solve it so both can be together".

    Those who insist they should know that enough is enough.

    Also, being rejected is part of life, the good thing is that one is in the game and is taking risks to know many people and sharing the feelings and see if others share the same.

    And being rejected doesn't mean that one has a problem or that he/she is not a great person, in the end means that a relationship wasn't meant to.

  • If she is a single mother raising her kids on her own and working she will reject a man but she doesn't have time to play games or deal with bullshit

  • Interesting points :)

  • Great stuff!

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