Online Dating: It's Not That Serious

So I wrote a question concerning this topic earlier, now I figured it would be more suitable as a Take.

Dating can be fun and exciting, however this new age dating has become more of a game, people come off sites with wounded self esteem, anger, confusion and sometimes shame as a result of someone they hardly knew. To be quite honest, if many of us looked at the positive, while not taking it so seriously, it wouldn't hurt so much. I think we just don't accept disappointments, but what fun is life if it's always predictable?.

Some mistakes were fun while making them, some hold fond memories and others can have irreversible damages, and that is why I want to share some experiences with you, to help a lot of people here understand the truth of what I know about dating online.

Online Dating: It's Not That Serious

It's not that serious, you're meeting strangers over your computer.

People have become more pretentious since the world has become more superficial, this means more con artists, liars, players and wanna be heart-breakers. When you find these people sending mixed signals and wasting your time, it's not you, it's them. Some of them are catfish, if it's them they could have major self esteem issues, so they crutch theirs by breaking yours, or might sense you're a no nonsense person so are sparing you the trouble.

It is easy for someone to lose interest online as they might be conversing between two or more sites, you might get lost in all of that, it happens. Whatever the case, it is just someone you met online and it's probably for the best, trust me, sometimes fate is trying to save you from major disappointment.

Feeling used after pouring too much into someone only to get ghosted? Check out how dumb I have been.

Online Dating: It's Not That Serious

My early online experience were kinder, because the internet was a friendlier safer place. I did my first webcam sex with a guy named Steven, I crushed on him because he was a nerd and I'd never met a guy like him in real life. He never disrespected or recorded me, but he wrote me a song. DO NOT TRY THIS TODAY, AS I STATED SOME STUPID THINGS CAN BE FUN BUT HAVE CONSEQUENCES !!!!! Unless you don't mind taking risks, go ahead but then what would be the point of searching for love if you are going to act reckless?.

I hear of people complaining about being ghosted, most guys online will ghost you after you give him nudes, or have webcam sex with him and no it's not because you suck or wasn't hot enough. They are jerks preying on your vulnerability of craving affection. FOR THE MEN, some girls are looking to make you feel bad for them, so you will send them money, some of these girls are catfish or could have you robbed and killed. The internet is more diversified now, with multi measure for internet accessibility. You have all types of psychos here. Who knows, you might not even be talking to a girl

I have met four guys online that I fell for, the last was a disaster and I hate to say some guys here told me not to rush, but that was a waste. The one before was my longest most serious but I think he has BPD, another I never met in real life but had mood swings and a hot and cold behavior that left me drained so I called it off. Aah and my first love at nineteen from Myspace:) oh I loved him so, we are still friends. We had protected sex on the first date, yup, I know.....risky.

The one I met after I broke up with my long term boyfriend, was on tagged, it was an instant connection that was creepy, too creepy to explain, it started with him wanting to donate sperms to me. Then he said we should be married but he will just be a donor if that's all I wanted.

We started to like each other, he never acted manipulative, but was so charming I sent him a video of me performing sex acts with my toys, after a good while of communication, he a day, after that changed mood again.

I was never worried about the videos, but I felt drained and stupid about trusting someone who seemed unstable. He made me cry because we actually started using LOVE to describe what we had.

I cut him off the last time he tried to reconcile, but remember I sent a total stranger videos of me doing the dirty. Be careful girls, sometimes you do not know a person even years after living with them, let alone someone online.

Learn from my mistakes, online dating mistakes and signs to look out for.

Online Dating: It's Not That Serious

First of all.....plenty of you need to get out and off the computer anyway. I see many pretty girls here and men who are decent looking who waste their times on laptops looking for the one. You might say why am I here then? shouldn't I get out more too?. I am thirty and lived so much already, trust me when I say, I. have. lived... so I am burned out. I will go out to find someone soon when my business is complete. I am confined because of work and most places I have outgrown, so now I must find grown up places to meet my type.

There is nothing wrong with keeping online connection, even GAG is a great place to interact, learn new things and stay informed about people in other parts of the world, but think it's sad that young people are confined to their devices, developing social anxieties and all types of disorders that I think is in their heads anyway, sorry for seeming unsympathetic, but it's true.

You have youth, something I took full advantage, while you will regret it as the days pass with you online trying to get strangers behind your computer to notice a fraction of the real you.

While you go out to meet real people, keep your options open by staying connected but look out for these types of predators online.

Men/women who seem so perfect, it's as if he studied your profile and switched up to match.

I Have met at least two people who have done this, it is pathetic and if someone is willing to start out a relationship with lies, that person is very dangerous. Plus habitual and elaborate liars frustrate their own selves since they can't stop lying, it will be your fault and you might end up hurt even physically when they explode. Still keep an eye out, don't be paranoid, you might have really met you twin soul, but there's a higher possibility it's just a psycho that studied you

The guy/girl with the impressive profiles that don't match their conversations.

Everybody online now has a bachelor's, again lying, signs of a bad person. Saying they are well traveled, well educated, but have poor grammar, like kindergarten bad, and no personality, plus things they say just don't add up. Most of all if they act too shy, someone so established and outgoing will hold a fluent , solid conversation.

Pictures unrelated to their job or pictures that are too professional.

Gosh, like I'm a Camgirl but I don't go on dating sites trying to pick up clients. Technically, I am a model but I dress normal and might throw up a bikini pic since I have a nice beach body. If they are a model, then you should see the agency information in their bio. I see some sexed up pictures that scream, I am a CATFISH which mainly the case or I'm here for narcissistic reasons and probably won't respond. Not only that, I just think it's pathetic, forced and impersonal. Take real pictures of yourself being you, which is more inviting.

The "Kevin Federline"/"Beiber" in his bad behavior/wild party girl type.

Those poor things don't know who they are, and are a part of the trying too hard squad. Nothing wrong with fun, but please cut the overkill. They will embarrass or insult you, even if you feel bad for them and try not to judge. Some girls maybe the young ones, will genuinely feel attracted to him and will get hurt. I am not judging you but I get sometimes these guys might be cute, have a nonchalant attitude like he doesn't care, but oh he does care lmao.

The men who talk to her usually are trying to score anyway, but just remember, these girls are usually looking for someone to trap.

They hurt themselves trying to think, so they'll hurt you too. He's not a bad person, he's just not a very good one. OH and you can catch him saying stuff like, my swag's on 10, I party all weekend. He also is rich in life, an entrepreneur with no real hobbies but partying and he's also the type to always be shirtless, he's gonna catch a cold. He doesn't even care about himself, unless you plan not to get attached and have fun with him, don't hurt yourself honey.

No information, low information profiles.

They are usually catfish or not looking for anything serious. Sure, you could just be fed up and took everything down. But take it from me, when you're serious about meeting someone you will take the time to fill out the fields, unless your agenda is otherwise.

They could be hiding something or just want to hook up.

The suave, casanova type who also wants you to trust him even though you don't know him.

It's plain and simple, anyone that persuades you to put yourself at risk, or makes you uncomfortable for their selfish gain, doesn't care about you. Those kinds usually are bad people, every time they get away with tricking you, they gain like a new life in their game and more boost to do more damage to others, take their power by cutting them off.

Yes they will call you paranoid, un-trusting, and make you feel bad for protecting yourself, but no one who cares about others would be that way. These types usually also have personality disorders, pity them but also protect yourself.

Fellas if she' asking for dick pic and trying to persuade to to get sexual over cam, you're probably getting set up and it's a dude. Unless you see her two way, cam to cam.... it might not her or even a girl

Online Dating: It's Not That Serious

Technology is amazing and a vital part of modern civilization, but don't let it control you, control it. The people behind their laptops shouldn't make you feel small, many times they aren't who they say they are. It's not that serious.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's really a waste of time unless you want to go to those sites for shits and giggles and set up catfish profiles or profiles for trolling, or some other fake profile to try and generate money from advertising through pay per click.

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What Guys Said 18

  • thats a good My Take but i would like to say that you do need to be careful but you also have to be open minded as there are a lot of genuine people out there that are looking for love and do want to find their sole mate. i met my wife on a dating website and couldnt be happier.

    for me though and i get people disagreeing with me, you need to be realistic about your expectations. now i know that i am not a supper model and i am never going to be so emailing the profile of the lady that has model pictures up is not going to be the one that i settle down with, but i think that people seem to see the pic and go oh i can have that one when they may be aiming a little to high and as you stated could be a catfish. for me i went for someone that had similar interests as me as i wanted a partner and not a trophy so with that i met like minded people and i think that that is an important lesson to learn.

    also when you say beware of people that dont act like them selves, is that not what we do on a date anyway as we are trying to impress the opposite person to liking us, yes natural but still not the true self. thats what a relationship is all about, getting to know the true person and if you can live and want to live with them for the rest of your life.

    for me i used to have a rule that after sending 3 emails i would ask to meet for a drink or go on a date, as after 3 emails you get a good idea of them and them of you, the only way you will truly know if you match is to meet. so get on with it. sometimes i would meet them and think mmmmm this isn't my type or the girl i was emailing. sometimes i would like them but they wouldn't like me and visa versa. but i had fun and it got me out the house and meeting people. i guess the use of a dating website is a tool to meet but we need to remember and take care in realising that its the starting tool get the conversation going with someone that i would have never met with out the internet.

    good luck in finding mr right and wish you all the best.

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  • It's extremely serious. As a male you could end up meeting a girl that gives you the waterfall of orgasms-and-impregnating-her-and-leaving-her-then-finding-another-hot girl-and dodging-all-responsibility-and-finding-another-hot-girl-who-does-you-until-you-erupt-like-a-cannon-and-you-impregnate-her-and-get-a-reputation-as-a-player-and-other-girls-from-rich-families-want-to-ride-you-and-you-attain-Godhood-and-get-television-shows-and-youtube-followers-because-of-all-the-hot-girls-around-you-and-you're-amazing-and-a-legend-and-different-kinky-positions-every-night-and...

    That about covers why online dating is the most serious game of all.

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  • I think the attention whore women are among the most toxic thing there is in modern dating. They make dating site/app accounts and at least part of their activity involves feeling good because they get attention from men.

    The result is millions of men suffer huge amounts of rejection so millions of women can have a tiny ego bump and feel better after a bad day at work.

    Then the men get angry and bitter, they stop trying and spam shitty messages to women online, and this new bitter or pessimistic attitude also seeps into how they treat women in general as well.

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    • Sad, I know. Get out and meet real people.

    • I do. I just think this is a serious issue no one talks about, I think internet dating is fueling a lot of negativity between men and women.

  • "he wrote me a song. DO NOT TRY THIS TODAY, AS I STATED SOME STUPID THINGS CAN BE FUN BUT HAVE CONSEQUENCES !!! "

    Dang, can't even write songs for girls anymore.

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  • been on-line dating since I was 18. It get old and boring after a while. I met someone I online dated, got engaged to her, but her grandparents and her controlling ways messed it up

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  • I've had a match on OkCupid act very cynical and that instantly turned me off. If you don't take dating seriously how can I take you seriously?

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  • The thing I hate the most about online dating is how much susceptible women are on there. You say one little thing wrong and the conversation is over.

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  • What do I do if I get too many tinder matches and I don't know who to choose from?

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  • Yes, I've had experiences with a girl asking for money. I didn't send any. I guess this is not uncommon with online dating.

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    • It might even be a dude, or a man pimping her and making her do it.

    • As well as some girls do it too, but just listing other possibilities.

  • It sounds like you really do care about people.

    The sites that I've visited seem to take dating really seriously, like they expect you to get married and the CEO is going to watch you to make sure things are going over well. They care about statistics - they had values posted on their front page, like 90% of people that use this website will have a lasting relationship HOLY SHIT WTF JESUS CHRIST THIS IS SUPER SERIOUS OKAY, YOU NEED TO BE WIDE EYED AND SERIOUS ABOUT THIS. ALL THE DRAMA SHOULD BE DIRECTED HERE, THIS IS A MISSION SOLDIER. ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING TO ME, IM NOT JOKING AROUND.

    It might have been either POF or Okaycupid that gave me that impression, but it was really demoralizing. They wanted a whole ton of info just to get my profile out there, then I believe they usually ask subscription money in order to get your profile at the top of the lists (instead of a life time payment; which would be better, I think it'd give more money in the long run).

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  • I tried it and it didn't work, Im too ugly :( . There are no girls who would find me attractive :(

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  • its Extreamly dangerous to say the least... I've actually tried it and it doesn't work..

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  • By the way, i don't advertise them, i don't want any other guy to go through what i have.

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  • this take is hell amazing!

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  • Amen.
    And thumbs up for the awesome cat pic!

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  • It is for some and for others it isn't.

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  • So much there sorry I skimmed. Online dating is not serious. The problem is that ladies don't want to know the truth. I put down the hard core truth about things that no one ever EVER wants to talk about. Most women think I'm evil and horrible, but I'm the nicest most normal person and the people that they think are great that agree with them are the ones that are always evil.

    -This is a "you can't have your cake and eat it to society."

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    • Excuse me but you sound like a troublemaker and far from normal, what truth could you be trying to present to a stranger on an online dating site, that they cannot handle?, probably going around insulting women.

    • There is okcupid. com they have tons of question that people ask or answer, for example they ask is abortion ok, I say no everyone else says yes. There are a million questions, but that one for instance knocks just about every girl off the website. If not that question then a few more. Maybe I just put to much info on my profile, but tell me something... Why do people even break up in the first place. Difference in beliefs, in religion, why wait? Why talk about it days from now... weeks or months for that matter? Why not right off the bat?

  • If it's not that serious, why are you using dating sites? I met my current girlfriend (dating for 3 years) on a dating site.

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    • It's not that serious to people getting depressed over it. And it really sounds like you're taking offense to what I wrote, it's making me doubt you're happy about your relationship, what happy person would like to take offense to me saying dating sites aren't that serious?
      Plus if you read, I've met at the two people I love online, but for those who haven't they need not worry, as the internet has become a weird place.

    • Show All
    • @Nobodycares everything in this world is serious. People are dying, Satan is taking away our children, God is real.

    • God real y'all

What Girls Said 8

  • For me being on a huge college campus where I only see the people in my major, and the few other organizations I'm in most of the time, dating apps like tinder and bumble are a good way to just be exposed to more people on campus that I wouldn't interact with usually. I've made friends and met guys I wouldn't have without it, so while there are some bad people on there, since I'm not going in with any expectations but talking to new people I think they are good.

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  • Def do not take anyone seriously until you meet them for a couple dates and get to know them. I have had guys flatter me like crazy over the dating sites only to play w/my emotions.

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  • i don't believe in online dating, i have met only perverts

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  • I met my boyfriend online, and even though it's been a long time since we first spoke to each other, we've not met in person. I know what he looks like and he knows what I look like. Money is an issue for the both of us, and he doesn't like England as he says it's too cold for him ( He lives somewhere in Cali ) and Cali is too hot for me. It is what it is. Can't meet, but in love. I'd find a way, though. If that's possible? I don't know what we can do.

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  • Am I really the onlyvone too lazyvto read all of that but ivreally want to know what u said

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  • I dont think is good. My friend just had heart broken. She had money stolen by the guy she met online.

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  • I don't do online dating.

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  • I liked it! This was fun to read, because you don't take yourself too seriously! Those warnings are helpful too!

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